Since I was a toddler, I have always dreamed of writing a novel. I have always thought about publishing books and become a famous novelist.
The title of my first book will be When A Heart Desires The Moon. But I guess, I am not destined to hold a pen and a paper. Because for my parents, it is a lousy dream. They said that my ideas and imaginations must stay only inside my head and I can't share it with the world.
I sighed.
"What a mess."
I started answering the math equations and followed by the questions about the history. These are not mine though. It's my sister's tasks.
I groaned in frustration when Clea called my name for the nth time of the day.
They're talking about random things and they didn't even bothered to include me with their bonding. I mentally shook my head and flashed a bitter smile. At school, everyone's attention are on my sister. She gains praises and compliments, greetings and respect, while I am being discriminated. Eyes with disgust and scorn are directly looking at me. The hell I care. "Good morning, Clea," Even Quel. I took the opposite way with a bitter smile. I looked back. Quel's eyes are sparkling, staring at Clea fondly. I walked faster through the crowd. I held my head low and pressed my glasses when I felt my eyes heating up. What an eyesore. I closed my eyes tightly when I felt something hit
"She insults me everyday and tells me what kind of a low-class bitch I am when it's clear that she's uneducated. She doesn't even know the formulas of basic mathematics." I roared in laughter. "How about you? Do you know the formulas?" I asked while trying to suppress my laughter. She scratched her nape and shook her her slowly. "No, Miss." It made me laugh harder. She pouted. "I just heard you arguing about it when I was cleaning the guestrooms." "Okay, okay. I'm going back to my room. I'll just get forty winks." "Sleep well, Miss. I'll take care of this." "Just call me Athijha, Lily." I was about to go upstairs when she called me. "Why?"
"You're having your most magical birthday, Jha. I'm sorry I didn't make it on your eighteenth birthday." "Where are we going then?" "Just enjoy the day, Athijha. I assure you, this is gonna be fun." He smiled and turn the radio on. I chuckled when the first song to play is rock. He glanced at me. "Are we thinking about the same thing?" He asked. I laughed shamelessly and nodded. "Let's hit the road, Quel. Just make sure we won't exceed the speed limit." I smirked and put on the seatbelt. "Ready?" I nodded. I leaned on my back and gasped when he really did it but I still laughed when he cackled. "Woo-hoo!" I raised my hand in t
"You looked great yesterday. You should consider removing your glasses, comb your hair and wear something not so old-fashioned. Just like yesterday when you arrived at our house." "I'm more comfortable this way, Iris." She started walking and so did I. "But you doesn't look gorgeous in that outfit," She doesn't filter her mouth, does she. "I think I look just fine. So just forget that memory or just kiss the picture you've captured while I'm in that kind of clothes." Her eyes twinkled. "Hey, speaking of a kiss, did you guys shared one?" She excitedly asked. "Nope," I replied, emphasizing the sound of letter "P". "No? Nothing h
"Hey!" I yelled as I marched towards him. "What took you so long?" I extended my hand and gestured him to give me the ball. "What now?" He asked and stopped throwing the ball in the air. "Give me that. You're gonna destroy the plants." I hissed. I grabbed the ball then glared at him. "Oh come on, Athijha. I waited for you for half an hour and you're just going to scold me about this? Unbelievable. Besides, they're just plants." I threw the ball and it hit him on his forehead. "What's your problem?" "Nothing," I smiled and tried to be cute. "Come on, you said you're going to teach me how to drive," I smirked. "Yeah, of course-" "Drive me crazy," I winked at him and roared in laughter when I saw how disgusted he was. I gently pat his head. "Don't you like a dose of your own medicine?" I innocently asked before walking away. I stopped when I can't feel his presence behind me. My eyebrows furrowed as I look back. "Q
I stood up and removed the dirts that got stuck on my skirt. "Let's go. I still have to read notes and do my assignments. I bet you also have yours." He clicked his tongue. "I don't really care. I can pass with or without effort." He arrogantly said. "Not because you're a genius means you have an exception. Please note that you're not really a genius." I rolled my eyes and took the lead. "Don't make a fuss about it, Athijha. I have my ways." "If you say so. It's your decision. Good luck with your life." The ride was too silent but not awkward. I took a nap for a rest while he's driving. Gentle taps on my face woke me up. I rubbed my eye and sat properly. I took my things and fixed myself. "Thanks for the ride." I muttered in the middle of yawning. I was about to geg off the car when he pulled me by the wrist. I looked at him with sleepy eyes. "Do you need something? Or did I forget something?" What he di
"Please, spare me from your arrogance, Quel." He put his hands behind his head and smiled. "I'm not being arrogant, Jha. This is me telling the truth." "I don't know what has gotten into you and you're like this today. Extra bubbly and extra arrogant." I lied. He's probably like this because someting good will happen later. I looked at him. I'm so sorry for what's gonna happen, Quel. I bit my burger. "Quel" He hummed as a response. "If ever I did something that would ruin everything we have today, will you be able to forgive me?" My palm suddenly felt cold when it took a while before he answered. I don't know if he can feel how tensed I was or can he smell my nervousness blendin
"I'm sorry about that, my little girl is shy." "It's okay," Aunty Ely chuckled. When the maids took the plates we used, they served us cheesecake ice creams. "My son, your soon to be wife is so intelligent," "And pretty, too." Mom added. Clea stopped eating her dessert and modestly wiped her mouth. She leaned on her chair and crossed her arms under her chest. I immediately finished the ice cream when she made a hand gesture that only the both of us understands. I gulped. She still wants to execute what we've planned. "About their marriage," Uncle Arnold started the conversat
"Clea," Exiquel called right after I jumped out of our car. "Are you hear to play with me again?" He asked.I smiled then waved at him. "Of course, what else could be the reason I am here?" I asked.I witnessed how my father treated Athijha and she witnessed how hard it was for me too. My sister and I was there for each other but we never had the power to save each other.We were exposed to tons and tons of crimes at such a young age. We were exposed to killing and smuggling, all for the mafia. And even if I want to deny it, Athijha and I were also victims of our father's craziness.My hatred towards this family grew that I even did the most stupid mistake. I used Athijha as as shield just so I can enjoy my life.I started feeling envious towards my sister when I found out that we have different fathers. And I always wished I was her because even if she's an illegitimate child, her real dad is not like mine.I'd always cry myself to sleep after dad's done with his business with me.I'
"Why... why didn't you do it?""I don't know what to say to that person," She replied.I felt enraged towards the person she's talking about. He must hide under his mom's skirt once I find out who he is because curse the ground he's standing on to. I will definitely hunt her until he wishes he died before he could meet me.She was mumbling something but it's a little vague and faint."What? Sorry, Assia, I didn't catch it," I said.Her jaw almost fell when I said that. I wonder what's wrong with her.She laughed nervously and then shook her head. "I didn't say anything. Ha ha ha," She averted her gaze and then smiled a little. "I just find the crowd a little uncomfortable."I chuckled. "Still not used to the crowd, huh?"Something hasn't changed. "I guess I could never get used to it," She whispered in the air.I presented my hand. Her eyes traveled from my palm, up to my shoulder, and then to my bluebell eyes. A smile which reached my eyes crept on my lips as she stares at me with t
"Then I'll just go back to my s-," Before she could even finish what she was saying, I grabbed her arm.My brows are furrowed. "Nope, you're not going anywhere. You're staying here with me."She just want to tease me and damn, love, it's working!She closed her eyes. She sighed and smiled as if she's planning some mischievous things again and wants me to be a part of it.She tugged the hem of my shirt. "What?" I asked."Will you go with me?" She asked in a flirtatious manner.I looked around. "Where?"She smiled a little. "To the cliff, of course.""No," I said which made her brows furrow."Why not?" She asked."You just want to escape this party and just don't want to hear their farewells," I replied and crossed my arms. "And what are you gonna do there? Just stare at the moon or something?"She made a face then stepped on my foot."Stop sounding so sarcastic. And it's better to talk with my son than hear their farewells and shed a tear in the crowd. So, if you don't want to come wit
"Do you feel okay, little sis?" River asked.She tried to reach up for her brother's hand as her eyes starts to water. "Kuya," She called, almost voiceless. "Kuya," She repeated in much clearer voice.She calls her Kuya, huh? It is a Filipino word which refers to your older sibling with a male gender, I suppose. Damn, I guess I really did miss a lot of things.River chuckled a bit then drove his wheelchair to his sister's side.I gulped when I witnessed I Ath... Assia pulled her brother in for a hug."Your eye," She mumbled as she hide her face on River's shoulder."You're thinking that I've gone blind, are you?" She nodded in response. "My eyelid was just grazed by a knife. It's just a small cut.""What if you go blind in tge following years because of that?" Assia asked."I'm glad you're still as silly as fuck," River said then let out a burst of a loud laughter. "Good morning, little sis."You're not really hurt, right?""Yeah. I caught a bullet with my leg though.""Well, you're a
"Good evening, my lady. You look gorgeous like always," I said with a smile when she opened the door."And you are annoying as always," She said then rolled her eyes. "Can I leave this bouquet here? I have a feeling that I might destroy this by slapping you with it out of annoyance.""Harsh. But sure," I took her hand and kissed it. "Shall we go, gorgeous?"She nodded. "Sure."I never knew that 4 kilometers ride is too short for us to stay in car together. Damn the time."Quel, do you know me?" She asked out of nowhere.My forehead creased. "What do you mean? Of course, I know you, Athijha.""What if my name is not really Athijha? What if it is Clea?" She joked then chuckled a bit. "Don't get me wrong, okay? What if I am just her copycat and the real one just happened to tell me everything about her life?"I smiled. "Then you copied her perfectly. Your mannerism, the way you frown, your smile, and your laugh. It perfectly matches hers. But I can never forget how her eyes look. That is
It seems like she's havinf the urge to hit me with her bag she held herself back. "Why are you insisting that I am still your wife? You signed the divorce papers back then, Exiquel." She said.I smirked. "Oh, that? I didn't want to let go of you so I retrieved it when you left. Then I burned it together with the copies you prepared."Her jaw dropped upon hearing that. "How dare you put my money and efforts to waste?"I laughed. "Don't worry, wife. I'll give them back to you, twice. Even a million times if you ask. Anything for you," I replied then wiggled my eyebrows."What if I do something unforgivable? Are you still willing to do that?"I chuckled. "I'll always be on your side, little girl," I shuffled her hair."Exiquel," She called my name."Hmm? What is it, wife?" I asked.She took a step forward. "Do you still remember something I do?" She asked then took another step. "To the moon and back?"My eyes widened upon hearing that. My eyes shone with an unreadable emotion that keep
I visited the pavilion I built to commemorate the faded existence of my child.I'll bring Athijha here for some other time.When I got home, I decided to give her a call.[What is your problem, again?] She said as soon as she answered the call."Are you home?" I asked.[And why should you know?] She retorted with sarcasm. "You didn't text me so I got worried. Are you home? I'm heading there," I said, making up reasons just so I can hear her talk.[No, I am not. I just left. And I don't really see any reason why you should know.]"Because I am your husband," I responded in a proud tone, giving her a hint about what I did.She scoffed. [No, you're not.][Yes, I am.] I insisted.[Shut up, Exiquel. We're divorced. Stop insisting we're not separated, you dumbass.]"Or not," I chuckled.[Whatever you say. I gotta go. There is something important I have to do. Something more important than you,] She said then dropped the call.Then she found out about what I did. She kept on ranting about h
I felt how she got frozen on the spot when I planted a soft kiss on her forehead. I smiled at the back of my mind.I missed doing that."You're being considerate of my feelings too much again. I can handle myself, you know. Go on, love. Sleep now. I'll leave you here alone now. Goodnight, my love."I was wakened by terrified screams from the other room.Chill washed through my body when I realized it was my wife."No, son, no! No," She screamed."Athijha," I called in panic. She's still asleep and covered with sweat as she cries in her sleep."Fuck! Athijha, wake up!"She gasped for air then opened her eyes widely.She touched her cheeks and then brushed the tears away as I cup her face."Fuck! Are you okay, love?"She looked at me who's looking at her with my eyes filled with fear and nervousness.She held onto my wrist then tilted her head. "Quel," she called my name."Yes, love? What is it? Did you had a nightmare?" I asked in a worried manner."Love," She uttered our endearment th
She went out if the car and was about to guide me out but she doesn't really have to do that anymore. I jumped out on my own."It's okay, Jha. I am not drunk anymore," I flashed a smile. "You're back in here again."She nodded a little. She may not be aware of this but the way she acts while looking at the place that's used to be her home says how uncomfortable she is."You should take my car on your way home. It's dangerous," I said."No, thanks," She declined."Athijha.""No matter how much you put authority and warning in your voice, you can't order me to use this since I left my friend's car at the parking lot of the restuarant in front of the club where you drowned yourself."I took a remote out of my pants. "Then might as well spend the night here instead of going home at this hour."I walked in and didn't even dare to look back because I know that she'll choose to walk away and go with the first option I had given her.As I shower in the bathroom of her old room, my feet felt c