0008: Embarrassed

MERIDA

It was the singing of the birds and the harsh sun rays that woke me up.

I couldn't even remember how long I had slept or when I had slept off. 

I stirred , turning to the other side of the bed suddenly feeling so cold .

I grabbed the duvet and pulled it over my head , trying to go back to sleep. 

My stomach rumbled , reminding me how little I had eaten last night and I almost cried out, the hunger that was chewing at the other side of my stomach grew more teeth and increased its tempo.

Just then I suddenly sat quickly as if pricked by a needle I broke out in cold sweat.

 Aunt Ophelia....

I said to myself , my eyes darted around the room and for a moment I forgot that I was no longer in Frostclaw pack.

I was somewhere , safe somewhere where no harm could get to me and where I could no longer be reminded of how unworthy and useless I was.

I slapped my temple softly and exhaled in relief.

"You are up so early."I heard a voice say and I quickly turned to find Alpha Lukan standing before the mirror.

" Did I?"I asked sheepishly and he turned to give me a funny look." I thought I was still at my Aunt's."

"So I thought ." He said moving away from the mirror after trying to knot a tie but failed miserably. 

I guess he was preparing for some meeting of some sort but I just couldn't bring myself to ask him. 

"Next time you should have all the sleep you can get." He said in a harsh tone that I flinched. "You are in my pack and you're no longer a slave . I wonder how many times I will drum that into your skull."

I pretended not to hear him and swung my legs over the bed 

"Do you want me to prepare anything for you?"I asked in a rather small voice and slowly he turned to give me a look mixed with a little anger and amusement. 

" Is it that you love asking silly questions or it's just me?" Then he turned back and picked some files. 

"I do not want you to prepare anything for me , the maids can handle that , you should start getting comfortable on how to become the next Luna." He said his tone flat and I thought he was joking.

" I'm I really your mate?"

"Another silly question." He said, rolling his eyes."If I stand here listening to everything you are saying or having to answer every question you throw at me I will be late for the meeting."

I said nothing else again but I knew he was staring at me when I was looking down at my feet. 

" You should make sure you apply the Willows Tears to your injury after taking your bath, I'm quite sure you can do that on your own." He finished.

I glanced at the top of the bedside table where the little bottle was untouched.

"When I mean I apply, I mean you should scoop just enough of that, if it finishes,I will get another one. The issue here is that your injury has to heal properly and then I will have to question those psychiatric patients you called family." He grabbed his phone and began to scroll through it. 

"One more thing."he said h

as I began to walk to the door."Feel free to interact with everyone here, this is not a zoo you might be spending the rest of your life here."

Might.

What does that mean? 

It sounded like a probability to me like, I was in a kind of test and if I passed so well I will live here and if I don't?

The thoughts of going back to Aunt Ophelia and Uncle Garrick made my heart stopped beating 

I just couldn't think of that ,not even in my wildest imagination.

Going back to them was like death itself. 

I would rather jump down the bridge than go back to Frostclaw pack.

"What are you thinking about?" Alpha Lukan said to me, watching me closely. 

" Nothing —"

"Fine." He said."You will never tell me what's on your mind, so I have stopped bothering myself." He got to the door and held the knob and glanced down at his wrist watch. 

" Rosita is ever ready to answer any silly questions you have. You have the right to order any kind of dish, remember you need to put on some skin , I can't present you to the council like this." He said.

His last statement struck me hard and I remembered what Rosita had said last night.

It was actually true but she mentioned a gala and now he was saying that he was going to present me before the council. 

I have never been to the council before , I do not know what they look like but I know that they might probably be some old men with stern looking faces.

How was I supposed to know what they look like when I was never allowed to leave the Pack House?

"I will take my leave now." He announced and when I looked up I found him staring at me. 

"You are supposed to say ' have a nice day at work darling' and press a kiss on my cheeks." He said regarding me like a six year old." Isn't that how mates do?"

My eyes opened wide and I didn't know what to feel. 

Fear. Surprise. Indifference .

The only couple I know was my parents but I was too young to remember anything. 

Aunt Ophelia and Uncle Garrick weren't all lovey dovey, they were either quarreling or Aunt Ophelia asking for more money , the only time they were united was when they wanted to make me feel so worthless or take turns in whipping me or bringing silly suggestions on how I will be starved.

I wanted to get up and go to him, to hug him at least.

How was I supposed to tell him I don't know how to kiss, I had never done it before.

My legs felt so weak as I struggled to my feet and with slow small steps I walked up to him. 

He towered over me and the only thing that came to my mind first was to shut my eyes and bring my lips closer.

I stood there for a few seconds hoping I had touched the soft flesh of his cheeks or his lips but nothing , only for me to open my eyes and see him scrolling on his phone.

"What are you doing?"he asked when he lifted his eyes up ." You frightened me."

And that was when I realized he was so engrossed in his phone that he hadn't seen me walk up to him, he had totally forgotten what he said.

He blinked realization in his eyes.

"Wait." His tone was laced with a mixture of disbelief and amusement." You really took what I said so seriously? "

I suddenly felt so small and I wanted to vanish.i was plunged into the sea of embarrassment. I wished for the ground to open and swallow me , I didn't even realize that he was joking. 

He was playing with my feelings and the shame I felt sucked up every strength I had in me. 

I couldn't even walk back to the bed. 

His eyes were still on his phone and then he looked up at me. 

" You walk like a cat , I didn't realize that you were beside me. I thought I was saying the ghost of my dead grandmother." 

Stupid ,Merida. I said under my breath. I reminded myself not to take his words seriously next time. 

"Take care of yourself little mate." And with that he left, leaving me in the large bedroom.