One week later and I’m still not allowed to join the choir. This was not how I envisioned my last year in high school turning out. Rose claims practice is going on fine without me. How’s that possible when their lead solo singer is missing?
Calum is a meanie. My stomach tightens at the thought of him. He has been ignoring me. He’s gone before I wake and only returns late in the evening to smoke. I should have reported him to Dad but I haven’t. He wanted to kiss me again that day. As much as I strongly dislike him, I like his lips. So, I wouldn’t have minded another kiss.
I force one foot in front of the other till I’m at the door of my chemistry class. Mr Andy is at his desk waiting for the rest of the students. I am too early for the class and as I watch the bald man through the narrow pane of the door, I seriously consider running out of the school.
Chemistry is too complicated. Maybe if Calum taught chemistry, I
Shock stops Amelia from acting fast. She shifts gears but it’s too late to do anything, so we are forced to stay put. I try to play it off with a smile but my heart is in my throat. Sweat breaks out on my forehead as Calum’s car slows to a stop directly beside ours. I look away. We are in big trouble. “Are you stalking me?” he asks, still in his car. This is our chance to race out of here. Calum slams his door shut and storms towards my side. No. I’m not the one driving. He should face Amelia. He wrenches the passenger door open. “Get out of the car.” I plant my foot firmly on the car floor. “No.” “Well, I asked nicely.” A scream escapes me as he drags me out of the car like I’m a ragged doll. I swallow my fears and force my face into a neutral mask when our eyes meet. His eyes are wide with anger and I know I have something to do with his temper. “I’ll ask again, were you stalking me?” “No. We came here for Rose.” “Rose, huh?” I nod again because it’s all I can do with
I’m not dumb, just different. Sitting in front of the mirror in my bathroom, that’s what I tell myself as I apply a new batch of pink dye to my hair. Is different good? Is it bad? I don’t know but I like the way Calum said it. I finish up soon and the dark roots of my hair are completely pink by the time I wash off the dye my hair. “Cathy. Calum. Lunch is ready,” Dani screams from downstairs. “Be down immediately.” I step out of my room and wait by the door for Calum to show up so we can go together. He doesn’t. If he had gone downstairs, I would have known or heard him, all thanks to the not-so-thin walls. He has to pass by my room since it’s closer to the staircase. I start towards Calum’s room. I’ll only tell him lunch is ready and leave. Easy to do. His door is slightly ajar. I slip in and stand still, trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness. The curtains are drawn, the lights are switched off. I know he’s in the room. Calum doesn’t go out on Saturdays. A phone vibrates
A comfortable silence reigns over us. I push the tray under the table and hand him his guitar.Calum laughs. “You’re not giving up on this.”“Nope. I really want to hear you play.” His face softens. He fingers a chord and stops. I try not to say anything but my mouth sometimes works faster than my brain. “What is it? I liked it.”“Oh, please. I didn’t do anything.” I make a zipping motion across my lips and toss the keys out the window. “Fine. I haven’t played since…”His lingering statement piques my curiosity. I forget everything about keeping quiet. “Since when?”“Since the band broke up. Don’t expect much.” When the music is in you, it doesn’t matter how long you stay away from it, you’ll feel it when you return to it. Calum leans forward, cradling the guitar in his hand as he readies himse
Today, I’m more covered as I bridge the distance to my sexy stepbrother’s room. Grey sweatshirt, and tracksuit. No chance in hell of yesterday happening again. Heart thumping harder than before, I stop in front of Calum’s room. He has not stepped out since lunch. I can’t help trying to convince myself that this is a horrible idea. But my fist meets his door twice. If I come in on his invitation, he’ll see I have good intentions. I knock again, then try the knob when there’s no response from inside. The door is unlocked and the room is empty. I take another tentative step inside. The glow from the tip of Calum’s blunt is what guides me to the balcony. He doesn’t get a chance to process my appearance. I snatch the blunt from his hand and stomp on it. His gaze flickers to mine.“You shouldn’t be smoking here. Or at all.” “I wasn’t smoking,” he answers. I rest my hands on my waist, my eyes flying up and down his body. “Yeah. Pigs can also fly.” Calum is also covered in a polo shirt
Calum starts singing and I’m transfixed again by his voice. I heard him sing yesterday but the emotions are new, touching me in all the places Mum’s voice used to touch me. I cross my legs on the chair, too stunned to do anything more. The singing slows to an end but his smile is still intact when he says to his camera, “Alright guys. That’s it for today.” Before he started singing, he made a small announcement and apology for his long, unexplained absence. I know it had to do with his band breaking up but that’s all I know. “See you next time.” He blows a kiss to the camera and my stomach knots with jealousy. I have to find his YuuTube channel ASAP. “Love you. Stay safe.” As Calum’s eyes come to rest on mine after ending the recording, I can’t help thinking what it would feel like to be loved by him in a proper way. Not as a brother or sister but as a man loves a woman, his lover. As if hearing my thoughts, his smile fades. The clapping from somewhere in the room tears his eyes
I’m preparing for school on Monday morning when someone knocks. My first thought is to check whoever is at the door till my eyes catch the new post on Girls Code open on my screen. I tilt the screen of my laptop so it won’t be visible to whoever is at the door when I open up. “Who’s that?” “Calum,” my stepbrother answers, followed by another knock. “Are you ready for school?” That’s weird. Amelia or Dad is usually my ride to school. I shuffle to the door and wrench it open. Calum’s lips part in a silent curse and I lower my gaze to my chest to see what he’s seeing. Oh. Blush rushes to my cheeks. My breasts are almost spilling out of my black lacy bra. The top is on the bed. Again, it’s not deliberate but I make no effort to cover up. Instead, I fold my arms under my boobs, pushing them up to catch more of his attention. Calum slides his hands into his pockets and my cheeks redden at the indecent thought that sneaks into my mind. I lean on the door, using that opportunity to size
The car is too quiet. The radio is off. I hate my dad’s incessant questions but I’ll give anything to have him in the car asking me stuff I don’t want to talk about than sit in this silence with my stepbrother. I reach for the radio and he cuts me a look that has me retracting my hand.My elbow juts out the window, my head pokes out and the morning air whips through my hair. The car slows as he is about to make a turn.“Do you have a YuuTube channel?” Calum asks at the traffic light. I’m surprised he’s talking to me after his ominous warning at the house. I shake my head. The light turns yellow. “Okay. I can help you set one up if you don’t mind. You can post some of your singing videos there.”“Okay. Thanks, bro.”One. Two. Three. The light turns green and we speed off. We sit in silence, not as awkward as it was earlier. I toy with the buttons of my shirt for a minute. &
Was Calum angry? Was he jealous? Does this affect our budding friendship? I don’t know. It feels like I cheated on him. I didn’t do anything wrong but it’s all I can think as I make my way to the chemistry class, my last class for today.Amelia waves me over to a seat at the back. We haven’t seen each other since lunch break. I’m not sure I want to talk to her. She must have sent Jackson to me and the idiot kissed me.Grudgingly, I plop into the seat she reserved for me. She retrieves her phone from her purse and slides it over my desk. I don’t want to see. I look to the door, my only means of escape. Mr Andy should be here soon but until then, I have to make small talk with her. It sucks to be me.“You two looked so cute,” Amelia says.I pick up the phone and my frown deepens to a sneer. “You took a picture of us? Really?” The three girls in the row before ours throw us a
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac