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46 || Bad place
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I wake up alone in my bed.
The coldness of the pendant against my chest unlocks the memories from last night. Calum sang another song and my heart is convinced he did it because the lyrics are a true reflection of his feelings for me. Mine as well. I need him to warm these lonely nights and more than that, I need him to just be mine. Be the person I can always talk to.
What if Calum loves me? I want him to love me, to see me as an adult. Halting in front of the mirror, I open the locket and tears shimmer in my eyes. My knees weaken and I place the necklace beside the snow globe.
I couldn’t have asked for better birthday gifts. If I want to keep him happy, I should start getting ready for school instead of gawking at my gifts.
A tiny wave of guilt stabs me in the chest when I spot Jackson’s bracelet sitting between my makeup kit. I slide the gift into its box with a mental note to return it to him. In the shower and alone with
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 48 || A sin. Incest
CALUMI’m writing a song for my stepsister when the door creaks. Someone knocks and a smile curls my lips. I shove the notepad into my bag before crossing over to the door to open it. I don’t want Cathy to see it until it’s done. If I ever get done with it.The person at the door is not Cathy. It’s my mum. My smile drops. She flashes me a smile and I move back for her to enter inside. Cathy was supposed to be here for rehearsal. I haven’t told her yet but she will be taking the solo. Not only because she has my heart but because she has earned her place as the solo singer. Among all three, she’s the best.My mum walks over to my laptop opened on the desk. She picks up the notepad before I can stop her. Yes, she can be nosy. But her nosiness saved my life once so I can’t complain. I sit on the bed while she reclines on my chair. A glint creeps into her eyes as she scours my notepad.“You’re wr
To Tempt My Stepbrother 49 || Boundaries
A knock sounds on the door as I’m leaving my bathroom. I peek at the time. He’s earlier today.“Are you ready?” comes the undeniable voice of my stepbrother. I’m not ready but I sashay to the door in only my white towel and fling it open. Calum gulps. Water rolls down my hair to my chest, disappearing into the towel. His dark gaze sweeps over me and my hand drops to the knot of the towel. I want him to see me naked. I want him to touch me. “Don’t. I will wait for you downstairs.”I smile at my stepbrother’s back. He pauses at the stairs and shakes his head when he notices me ogling him. I wink but he continues down the stairs. Going through the motion of getting dressed, I hum Surf Mesa’s love song under my breath. One day, I’ll sing it to him. If I ever get to writing songs, I’ll sing for him on a big stage.Calum is not downstairs when I get there. I jog outside to meet him in
To Tempt My Stepbrother 50 || Take it slow
The second our lips meet, I know it’s a mistake.“But we will have to take it really slow,” I tell a dazed Jackson. I’m dazed myself but I’m doing a better job of hiding it. I just kissed him. I just freaking kissed another guy that’s not Calum.It’s not wrong. Calum dumped me.His fingers grasp my jaw, tilting my head back. “Did anything happen? Cathy, are you okay?” That’s not what I expect from him. Maybe that’s why tears gather in my eyes. Jackson peers down at me with so much worry, care and affection. The noises around me fade, everything is a blur but the guy worried about me. I need to get it together before it gets to my dad’s attention that I had a breakdown in the hallway before my first class.“No. Not really,” I answer sincerely.Jackson hugs me. It’s unexpected and different from all our other hugs. It&
To Tempt My Stepbrother 51 || We need to talk
The next day, I’m still hurting. More than I did yesterday. My heart misses him. Our hugs and cuddles and kisses. Kissing Jackson is not the same. It only makes me feel emptier, a hurtful reminder I’m doing the wrong thing to heal.I pick the phone from the dresser and smile at the text. It’s from Jackson. He wants to know if I’ll be at the Friday game so I can have his shirt. I send him a quick reply and he promises to bring it to school tomorrow when he comes to pick me up.Jackson dropped me at home today, same thing yesterday because I skipped practice. There’s no point going there when I can’t have Calum.Speaking of Calum, where is that heartbreaker?Rehearsals ended an hour ago. Calum should be here now. I can’t ask Dani about him. She will ask why I missed practice and it will pique Dad’s interest. I open my windows to make it easier to hear him drive in. There’s no sign of th
To Tempt My Stepbrother 52 || Number one
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 53 || Walk of shame
The walk of shame to Calum’s car is the longest walk of my life. I get in the front seat, fasten my seatbelt and we spend the next second glaring at each other because he hasn’t buckled up.Clenching the steering so hard his knuckles are white, he mutters, “You make things so hard for everyone.” Of course I do. It’s always my fault. My breath fogs the window, I wipe the moisture and draw a broken heart on the surface. “Practice is at four. Be on time.”I tug on the hem of Jackson’s jersey but he doesn’t get the hint. “There’s a game today.” My eyes fall to his chest. No seatbelt. This is plain wickedness. My mouth opens but I can’t find the words to reprimand Calum, neither do I have the strength or will to walk to school. Lowering my gaze to my jeans, I poke the cuts on the knee area. “By four.”“The game doesn’t affect practice.”
To Tempt My Stepbrother 54 || Anywhere but Tesco
Calum ignored the note.When I came in, he didn’t get a chance to kick me out before I offered him the note saying, “It was from my dad.” After that, we stared at each other for a while before he asked me to stand aside.Now, they are singing and I’m a bloody spectator who has front row view to everyone’s side profiles.I missed Jackson’s game for this.Rose offers me a smile but I can’t see past my fury. Brimming with annoyance, I shove my hands into my pockets. My back hits the wall as I rock on my heels to keep my anger in check. Regina smiles through her chorus. God help me but I want to punch her. I want to punch her, then punch Calum.The singing continues and I’m so upset I want to cry. As if it’s not enough that I’m unable to partake in the singing, the door opens and Miss Gates walks in. The others don’t notice her due to their singing but I do.
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To Tempt My Stepbrother Epilogue
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
To Tempt My Stepbrother 59 || Use me
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
To Tempt My Stepbrother 58 || Marry this man
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
To Tempt My Stepbrother 57 || You came
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
To Tempt My Stepbrother 56 || Surprise
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
To Tempt My Stepbrother 55 || I love you forever
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
To Tempt My Stepbrother 54 || Are you scared?
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
To Tempt My Stepbrother 53 || Number one happy place
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
To Tempt My Stepbrother 52 || Whatever you want to be
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac
