In Jackson’s dictionary, later must mean the end of school because he’s waiting for me at the door of my last class. One look at him through the glass and I’m tempted to stay back in the class.
The last student leaves. I follow suit. Jackson beams as he collects my backpack. It’s a sweet gesture that doesn’t feel so sweet right now.
“Are you going for rehearsals?” he asks.
We start down the noisy hallway with his hand hanging loosely around my waist. Every time I push his hand, he brings it back. Doesn’t he get it? Where’s Rose? I need her to get me out of here.
“Yes, I am.”
“Good. I’ll walk you.”
I stop walking. “You don’t have to.”
Jackson blinks down at me in shock. I seize the chance to grab my bag from him. Hurt registers on his face and I almost feel bad for him. But I already told him,
The next day, when Calum is driving me home, I murmur, “Amelia didn’t come to school today.”Today is the fourth time she’s missing school. Dad said her mother called to inform him on all occasions. She left messages on our WattsApp group. Rose and Taylor think it’s just a sickness like Amelia said but I think it’s something more. Something she doesn’t want to tell us.“I’m worried,” I say. Stroking my shorts, I wait for him to speak. “But she told us she was fine.”That we didn’t need to check on her when Rose suggested the girls come over to her house this weekend. Calum reduces his speed, I don’t mind his pace because it gives us more time together.“Will it be okay to check on her?” I ask.Cars zoom past us in a hurried frenzy, raising a gentle breeze in their wake that rustles my hair. Resting my head on the window, my eyes c
Calum is asleep on my return. At least I think he is. Watching him, my conscience pricks me. A ten minute stop turned into fifty minutes. I raise my hand to knock on the window but his eyelids flutter open. He stretches his arms and yawns.“Kinda creepy standing over there to watch someone having his beauty sleep.”I blush. “I wasn’t watching you, Cal.”A beep sounds from the car to signify he opened the passenger door and I bounce to the other side. Silence welcomes us in its familiar embrace. I fiddle with the hem of my shorts while working up an apology. We didn’t do much talking. By the time I left, Amelia was fast asleep. My hand wraps around the seatbelt fixed in its place.Calum breaks the silence first. “Well, that took so long. How did it go? Bad? Horrible? Awful?” On a quick inspection of his face, I see that he is teasing. His lips quirk in that cute pout and my hea
“Do you want me to set up your account now?” I ask Calum from the door. I’m bored out of my mind. Dani and Dad went to God-knows-where. Those two are acting like newlyweds. In all fairness, they are newlyweds but it’s not their first marriage.“Right now?” Calum jumps off his bed. I enter his room and shut the door. His main question should be: why not now? I can set up his account with my eyes closed. He pulls on a shirt first before giving me his phone. “Alright then, Cathy. Have fun.”Standing in the middle of his room, I’m torn between sitting on the bed or chair by the study table. He makes the decision for me by patting the bed and I sink into the space beside him.“I need to see what you’re doing,” he says. But I tell myself he wants to be close to me. And that is okay because I also want to be close to him.The distance between us is small. At one point
Awkward is not enough to describe the days that follow after that ‘mistake’. Three days later and Calum is still leaving for school earlier than he usually does. At home, our conversations are a lull; polite and tentative. During rehearsals, he hardly glances my way and it’s infuriating.The past days have been a rinse and repeat for me. Since Amelia is out of her slump, she’s back to being my driver. Whatever happened in her room stays between us. After practice, I would hitch a ride with Rose and listen to her repeat the same question: Is everything okay with your stepbro? He didn’t say a word to you during rehearsal.And I would roll my eyes and say yes.For now, I need to focus on my chemistry class. On what Mr Andy is saying. I haven’t been able to pay attention since he walked in with a pile of sheets. Last week, we had a quiz. There was not enough time for me to prepare but I think I might come close t
CALUMI’m fucked. Royally fucked.Cathy kissed me and I wanted to kiss her back. No, I wanted to pin her under me to claim her, kiss her so she would never kiss that boy again. I would have if she didn’t pull back so fast. Days go by and I haven’t stopped hating myself for almost losing control. It’s wrong. I’m her stepbrother, her teacher, I could get into trouble with the law, her father.The age of consent is sixteen, Cathy didn’t lie about that bit. But the American in me feels it’s wrong. She’s young. Cathy can never be mine but I have gone to bed with a boner every night since it happened. My dreams are haunted by her. In my dreams, Cathy is more demanding. We go beyond kissing and I wake up the next morning feeling like a piece of shit. It’s why I have avoided her, spoken as little as possible.But all of that ended when the sly minx showed up after rehearsal. Her friend didn&rsq
Calum wants me. A man doesn’t look at a lady he doesn’t want naked under him the way my stepbrother is staring at me right now. Since I walked into his room, he has been staring. But he doesn’t act on his desires, neither do I. After the near-kiss incident, I’ll only follow his lead.His tongue wets his bottom lip and my resolve weakens. Telling myself to behave is one thing, doing it is another thing. With Calum in that tank top, it’s increasingly harder to keep my hands to myself. My back digs into the door as I scan the room for any form of distraction. None.“You wanted to see me,” I say at last.Calum jerks out of his daydream. “Yeah.” As he says this, he takes another step closer to me. I lick my lips. My heart is doing high jumps. He is too near. So close. “You’re off probation.”“That’s it?” comes out of me in a squeaky voice. I clear my throat. “
Keep your foot on the brake but don’t step too hard on it. That’s my second lesson for the day. I nod to Calum’s next instruction. He is not a bad tutor but my dirty mind is playing a driving kink.“Relax, Cathy,” Calum says with a smile in his voice. I ease my grip on the steering wheel, well aware my stiffness is from my thoughts. “Alright.”One look around and I nod. I can do this. We start from our driveway. I drive to one end of the street at a snail’s speed. All Calum does is egg me on with a grin, not once complaining of my slowness. Dad would have mentioned it at least twice. I park at the other end of the cul-de-sac and he claps. His expression is a mix of pride, care and admiration.Something has changed between us. Something that can’t be put into words. I release my seatbelt and sit cross legged on my chair. Calum leans on the door with his elbow jutting out of the window.“Do y
It’s today.I feel it before I wake up. I feel it as I sluggishly get out of bed and dress up for school. A chill eats at my bones, spreading through my veins. I shiver.The windows are closed but I feel cold. It’s not cold from the weather but a reminder of today’s date. I glare at the zombie with sunken eyes and pink hair in the mirror. She looks like me. It was a struggle to sleep last night. To act fine. I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to curl in bed and cry but I can’t skip school because Dad will know.Our class group is active with birthday wishes to me. I ignore all of them, opening the door at the same time Calum steps out of his room. We bump into each other and he sends me a small smile.“Hi,” is what I say in a voice so cold he takes a step back. He recovers faster than I expected. A finger curls under my jaw, drawing my gaze to his face. He’s worried and I want to
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac