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28 || Will you sing?
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I arrived at Wells a day earlier. Excitement and nervousness lance through me. My steps falter as I rush up the front of Amelia’s house with my bundle of joy. Mace’s pacifier keeps him from making a sound. So far, he has been compliant, but I know he will go on his knees the first chance he gets. Now that he can crawl, no one or nothing can stop him from exploring.
The door opens, and Ashley smiles. The rat nest on her head is a testament of the toll this journey has taken on all of us involved. Lucky me never have to worry about hair. All it takes is a brush through it and I’m good.
“At this point, you deserve a key,” she says.
I laugh it off. Pushing my way in without an invitation, my eyes scan the dim place. The living room is empty. Jason must be in Amelia’s room. Ashley pads in after me. She makes a funny face at Mace, and my son giggles around his pacifier. I turn around to face her.
“Do you want to c
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 29 || Music
CALUMMusic explodes in my ears. My foot bounces on the same spot and my knuckles drum against my knee. I cross my forearms on my forehead, immersed in the sound of my voice. The sound I share with the world. My music. Music. It’s the only thing that matters right now, and maybe weed. The boys would love for me to try and mingle, but I haven’t been able to get far. Kissing or trying to be intimate with another woman feels like cheating on Cathy, which doesn’t make sense since she moved on. I should do the same. Maybe after this tour. A nudge on my knee causes my forearms to separate. Sam. Lucas. Scott. I straighten up.The boys wave. Their frowns rub me off the wrong way, and my annoyance is a tad evident in the way I say, “What’s up?”This had better not be another intervention to stop staying indoors or quit the weed. I have reduced my intake. Now, I only smoke when I’m mostly nervous or bored or trying to stay alive. Lucas throws himself on a couch. His lips move but I don’t he
To Tempt My Stepbrother 30 || Gone forever
The burial was quiet and private. I don’t recall most of it. Maybe I do. But I don’t want to be flooded with images of my best friend being lowered to the ground. Losing Mr Dissick hurts but it’s nothing compared to this. He’s alive and she isn’t. I may see him again but Amelia is gone forever. A cry from somewhere in the house breaks through my thoughts. The pillow in my hands drops. We used to play with this pillow, sleep in this room. I wipe my nose that’s red from excess crying. We buried her today. Taylor and Rose are downstairs entertaining the guests. I hate this idea of the bereaved family serving visitors. They just lost their child, they should be given a break. I hurry to the bathroom and splash water on my face before heading out to check on Mace. Mace is with his grandpa. I may or may not have been the best mother to him. I make sure my face has no evidence of crying as I near the bottom of the stairs. Staying in Amelia’s room gives me courage to go an extra day. It’s
To Tempt My Stepbrother 31 || Prettier but sad
CALUM“Mr Dissick,” Cathy breathes out.I shove my hands into my pockets to stop myself from drawing her into a hug. Our last encounter is still fresh in my memory. I look around for her protective bodyguard. I’ve imagined this moment too many times to count but it was nothing like this.“Really?” I tease. “Why so formal?”The scowl on Cathy’s lips wipes the smile lingering on mine. My mouth shapes into an O. She cut her hair. Why? Since when? Cathy crosses her arms under her boobs. The white gown she’s wearing hugs her upper body, tightens around her midriff, then flows downward to her knees. She’s as pretty as ever, maybe prettier with age.Prettier but sad.I want to pull her into a hug, if only this one time to remind her she’s not alone. But we are not the same Calum and Cathy anymore.“Very funny.” Cathy wedges herself
To Tempt My Stepbrother 32 || Happiness is overrated
“Your father is an asshole,” I tell Mace. He giggles. “No, don’t laugh, Macey. Let’s hate him together.”Someone clears their throat behind me. I jump and hide Mace from their view. It’s Dad. Walking around Mace’s crib, I try to smile at my father. He leans on the door, watching me like I would watch Mace.“I didn’t mean that,” I state to diffuse the tension. “Well, maybe. Only a little bit.”“Are you okay?” he asks from the door of the guest room in his London house. He might not have understood why I asked us to leave Wells but he drove us back to his house. I suspect Calum will check mine.“Why wouldn’t I be?” I reply.“Cathy.”“I’m fine,” I whisper. I just buried my best friend, and my baby daddy walked back into my life. Of course I’m okay, I’m cool. “I&
To Tempt My Stepbrother 33 || Get out
CALUMNerves. I’m a bundle of nerves and anger. Anger that hasn’t fully manifested. I ring the door again but it’s the same response. Silence. I look over my shoulder to the car waiting out front. Jason dropped me off. He insisted on waiting till I was safely inside.I may have treated him like shit but he’s exactly how Amelia described him in her letter. Plus, he took care of my babies.My babies. I have a son. Saying that to myself has no effect on me. Maybe it will when I see the blue eyed miniature of me.The knob twists as I’m about to knock again and the door opens. Unfortunately, it’s not the woman I want to see. I step back.“Pete.”“Calum,” he responds.It’s an awkward family reunion. I rock on my heels, feeling like the twenty-one year old kid he took into his home. What should I say?“Hi.”&ldq
To Tempt My Stepbrother 34 || Lies and more lies
Dad is quiet. I need him to say something, give me hell for threatening someone—my baby daddy on his property, but he doesn’t do any of that. I stop pacing and kneel beside Mace’s rocking chair. I should have let him see his son.What the hell is wrong with me? “What will you do?” Dad asks.“I don’t know,” I reply.Mace blinks at me. I rock his foot until his eyes fall close and his breathing evens out. We need to leave. I checked an hour ago, Jason’s car is gone and Dad volunteered to drive me home.“You should make up your mind,” Dad says behind me. I scoop Mace out of his chair. Dad is being too gentle with me. I know it’s the guilt. I also know I shouldn’t put him in this situation, but I can’t help it. “Whatever happens, he deserves to see his son.”“I know.” I close my eyes and my chest sags.
To Tempt My Stepbrother 35 || For her. For him.
CALUMI didn’t think Pete would call me but he did to let me know they were in Cathy’s house. He wanted me to stay with her while he sorted out some things. That might have been the best thing he ever did because she was a mess when I came in. I could hear her voice from outside. It hurt then, even now, with her in my arms, it still hurts.Cathy whines in her sleep. Her hand blindly reaches for me as if to ensure I’m still here. There’s no respite for her in her sleep, she’s still scared. I plant another kiss on her temple. There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s perfect. I stare at her until my eyes can’t handle it any longer. I should check on Mace but I’m afraid she will wake up to see the bed empty and panic.A knock echoes from behind the door. Pete pushes the door open and his head pokes in. “Come in,” I tell him. He walks in holding Mace. There’s a crib beside the bed. I try t
To Tempt My Stepbrother 36 || Enough
7 am comes faster than I expected. I’ve hardly fed Mace when I hear the knocks from downstairs. We glance at each other, and I get out of bed sluggishly. I need to eat or I may slump. But I have no appetite. Since Mace can crawl, I let him down on the floor once we are downstairs and skip to the door. Calum is all smiles when I open up. “Hey.”“Hey,” I reply. I step back for him to enter. “He crawls?” he asks, his voice laced with excitement. I nod, but he’s already gone to his son. Squatting before Mace, he says, “Hey.” A spell of dizziness hits me as I stagger to them. Calum lifts Mace off the floor, coming to stand beside me. “Hey, are you okay?” “Yeah. I’m fine. Did you drive here?” He looks suspicious. “Yes. Have you eaten?” I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat in two days. If I have, I don’t remember. Whatever the case, I don’t have much of an appetite.“Yeah,” I reply. “You should sit down,” he murmurs. I don’t want to argue in front of Mace so I follow him to the couc
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To Tempt My Stepbrother Epilogue
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
To Tempt My Stepbrother 59 || Use me
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
To Tempt My Stepbrother 58 || Marry this man
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
To Tempt My Stepbrother 57 || You came
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
To Tempt My Stepbrother 56 || Surprise
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
To Tempt My Stepbrother 55 || I love you forever
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
To Tempt My Stepbrother 54 || Are you scared?
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
To Tempt My Stepbrother 53 || Number one happy place
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
To Tempt My Stepbrother 52 || Whatever you want to be
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac
