6– Closer

Today was different, as soon as we stepped outside, I noticed there was something different in the way everyone went about their morning. There was excitement in the air, like something was about to happen. Furah told Gamu to dress me up good today and she did. Today I wore material from cheater skin.

When we went up, we didn't see Yoké and Uma today.

I found out what brought the excitement when the sun was about to set.

Everyone started going towards the mountains. Everyone but us. We waited until everyone left and then we also followed. We kept walking for a long time, and I was a little bit scared. We were walking in single file with the chief leading, followed by Furah and then myself and then Gamu. We passed the forest and got to stony ground.

We approached a stop, there was no more way. Just bamboo sticks forming a great wall. We stopped in front of the bamboo wall, and I looked back at Gamu. She had no expression on her face, she didn't smile or make any face.

The chief then looked back at us and then before him again. The chief clapped three times and then the big bamboo walls divided into two and swung open. The crowd that was already inside started to applaud and cheer on. The chief entered and we followed and then the people that had opened the bamboo gate for us shut it again behind us. I noticed that the bamboo was only on the one side, the place was surrounded by trees all around. It was like an arena.

All the villagers were there, sitting on the scattered rocks and others sitting on the floor. They sat so that there was a big open ground in the middle. Others were standing around and others sat on higher ground. It was the first time I saw young girls and guys sitting together.

The chief and Furah sat in front of the people and Gamu and I went to sit with the other villagers.

The cheering stopped when the chief stood up again to give a speech. I started scanning the area for Yoké or Uma but didn't spot either.

"Do you see Yoké or Uma?" I asked Gamu.

She shrugged.

The chief finished his speech and sat down. Seven people walked to the middle and started performing. Two played drums, 1 played the flute and four were dancing. Everyone was clapping and enjoying the show. It was so exciting; I'd never seen the villagers so happy. They were all glued to the show even Gamu. I kept looking around.

A guy came to sit next to me and nudged me. When I looked at him, he smiled at me.

I greeted him in Kwali language, because I felt like Kwali was much easier than Loke. When he heard that he beamed. He asked me who was teaching me, and I pointed at Gamu.

Gamu was not too comfortable that he was sitting so close to me.

He told me that his name was Abu and said that he already knew my name was Rena.

"Have you seen Yoké?" I asked him.

He shook his head and started to touch and talk about my hair.

When I looked back, I saw Yoké and Uma in the corner. Uma was looking towards the show, but Yoké was watching us.

Abu kept talking to me, but I was too happy to see Yoké that I just sprung up and grabbed Gamu.

"I saw Yoké!" I told her running towards them still holding onto her wrist.

She was complaining and trying to free her wrist, but it was too late, we were already in front of them.

"Rena!" Uma was happy to see me, he greeted Gamu and waved at me.

I greeted them. Yoké only greeted Gamu and looked towards the show.

He didn't even look at me.

"I was looking for you since long." I told him.

"Oh."

He didn't look too happy to see me.

Gamu was scared to stand with the guys and told me we should go back.

"What's wrong?" I asked Yoké.

"She said you guys need to go back before the chief spots you two here."

"I know what she said." I told him. "I'm asking you, why aren't you happy to see me?"

"All the guys in the village are always happy to see you, what difference would it make if just one of them wasn't?"

I was so confused, why was he acting like this?

"I saw you with Abu. Him playing with your hair like that, in fact he is not the only one, I've heard and seen more. You are the talk of the village."

"Does that make you mad?"

He kept quiet and watched the show.

"Yoké?"

"No, why would it. I just don't like that because it's not permitted in our village. The guys are not allowed to play with girls' hair or skin or touch them. It's not allowed. You will get in trouble if the elders find out. That's all."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

He looked at me for a while and said nothing.

"Let's get out of here Yoké, these people aren't giving the others a chance to perform." Uma said in Kwali.

"Yeah, I'm also getting tired of this." Yoké replied

"Can I come too?" I asked Yoké in English.

"No." Gamu replied in Kwali.

"Wait, you can understand Kwali now too?" Yoké seemed amazed. "And you are even teaching Gamu to understand English."

I smiled shyly. "We are teaching each other."

Yoké then told Uma that I wanted to come with, and Uma said that I could, if Gamu allowed me.

I begged Gamu but she said no. I asked Yoké to beg her, but she still said no. Uma told her something that I didn't understand, and she nodded slowly and started walking with Uma. I elbowed Yoké as we started following behind them.

"What did Uma say to her?"

"He said that you could come with me only if she came with us."

I frowned. "That's all?"

He smiled and nodded.

"She likes him." I said giggling.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's always talking and singing about him when we go to the forest in the morning."

"Really?" Yoké looked excited.

"Yes, at first I didn't understand what she was saying, and then I started hearing Uma, Uma, Uma every time she spoke, and then one day I just started understanding a few things."

"Should I tell Uma?"

"I don't think she will be too happy to know that I told you, she's always so scared to get in trouble."

"Hmm, you are right. Unlike you."

"What do you mean?" I laughed.

He smiled. "You are never scared to get in trouble."

"I am... I don't want my head chopped off."

We started to laugh.

"What if... I held your hand all the way to where we are going?"

I looked down at the ground.

"Well, there's no one here... Nothing will happen." I said shyly.

"You see what I'm saying." He then took my hand in his and we continued walking in silence.

I noticed there was a smile on his face and that smile didn't go away soon. I was also smiling. It was the first time I was holding Yoké's hand or any other guy's hand. I felt so good inside, it was almost like eating corn.

Gamu looked back once and saw us holding hands, she gasped and then shut her mouth quickly and continued walking alongside Uma.

Yoké and I laughed quietly about that.

"She'd never tell." I spoke.

"I know." Yoké smirked.

We had been walking through the forest for a while and it was dark. Yoké and I were still hand in hand following Gamu and Uma. Yoké whistled and Uma looked back at us.

"Where are we going, my brother?" Yoké asked him in Kwali.

"Almost there, don't worry." He replied.

We continued following them.

Gamu and Uma were also talking, I didn't know about what. I couldn't even imagine.

"Yoké."

"Yes, lady?"

"How will we know when the show is about to end so we can return?"

He then stopped all of a sudden. I stopped too.

"Shh... You hear that?"

I listened carefully: I could hear the distant sound of ambiance. There were drums, singing, laughter and cheering.

"That's how we'll know. If that stops, then we know we have to get back quickly before Furah, and the chief find out you two are missing."

We continued walking.

"I don't even know where we are."

"I know where we are, but I don't know where we are going. Uma is our guide here."

From a distance we could see open space and the beauty of the moon bouncing on the river.

"Oh! I know where we are now."

"Of course you do. You bath here every morning."

"Yeah." I said and then frowned and stopped. "Wait, how do you know?"

He began to laugh; he laughed so hard he fell to the ground.

"I'm serious." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"What do you think?" He asked me.

"I don't know."

"Lady, if even we were found walking together like this in an isolated place such as this, we would be thrown into separate dens and then early that morning before the sun rose, we would be beheaded in front of the whole village. So, imagine if I got caught watching another female. Males are not even allowed near this river."

He was laughing but I didn't find this funny. I felt bad. Maybe because I imagined Yoké being caught. Otherwise, I knew he'd never do something like that, so I didn't have to imagine anything bad happening to him.

He saw that I looked thoughtful, so he nudged me like he always did.

"Look, Uma and Gamu are already there standing before the river. Let's walk faster."

We got closer to them and Yoké whispered something in Uma's ear. Uma smiled and said. "I know."

Yoké smiled back and took my hand.

I looked at Gamu and she smiled shyly and looked down at the floor.

Yoké took me a little further from them and we sat down before the still river. We could still hear the villagers from here.

The river looked even more beautiful up close. The water looked black with only the light of the huge full moon above playing on top of the waters.

"What did you tell Uma?"

He smiled and looked down at the little pebbles on the ground.

"I told him that I think that Gamu likes him. And he said that he knows."

"Really?" I looked towards them and Uma was the one talking. I smiled. "They look beautiful together."

"That's how we look from there too." Yoké said looking at me.

I smiled. "You think so?"

He nodded. He didn't stop making eye contact.

"Lady..."

"Yes?"

"Do you know what makes you stand out from all these girls in our village?"

I scoffed and looked down. "A lot... I know."

"Tell me."

"Well, I'm not as strong as the other girls, I don't look like them, my hair is not as strong as them, my eyes aren't confident, the list goes on, I can continue."

He frowned, "Who told you that your eyes are not confident?"

"The other girls, they said that black iris meant power and confidence and that's something that I don't have."

I suddenly felt bad, so bad that I was so different from everyone else. So bad that it was only me who was stared at and talked about everywhere I went. I lowered my head, and a tear escaped from my eyelids.

Yoké was thrown aback. He even chuckled, and then he turned towards me and lifted my chin.

"Are you crying?" He wiped my tear, and the next one that fell. "Lady..."

"Hm?"

"I know that's what we believe in our village. I know that's what we teach our children from an early age. But when I met you, I doubted that. When I met you, I doubted so many things I believed in. Things that were fed to me when I was just a little boy. Your eyes for instance, are not black like ours, they are hazel brown in colour but you are the most confident girl in this village."

He pushed my hair behind my ear.

"You are the first girl to look me in the eye and smile at me, you are the first girl with the guts to touch my hair. You are the first girl to ask a man to marry her in this village."

We both laughed. I felt so much better knowing that he liked what I was.

"Don't try to become a Toko girl. You are very unique. You were not made to blend in here. You were brought to shine off. Can't you even see your skin colour, how can you blend in?"

I laughed.

"I'm serious. If they find you weird or different it's okay. I like your soft hair, your beautiful eyes and your soft hands."

He took my hands in his and examined them.

"Thank you."

"What's this?" He asked holding the middle finger on my left hand close to his eyes.

"What?"

I looked at my middle finger and at the bottom of the finger at the back of the hand my skin was lighter than the rest of the hand. The lighter colour shaped thin around my middle finger.

"I've never seen that before." I examined it closely.

"Maybe it's just one of your many unique ways."

I looked at the other fingers on my right hand, but it wasn't there.

"Hm... only this finger." I said.

"This river is really beautiful." Yoké was already distracted. "I've never seen it so close."

"Who told you that I bath here anyway? What if I bath with the other girls on the other side of the reeds?"

"I know you bath here."

"How do you know?"

"Because Rena used to bath here."

I frowned, I thought he was trying to tell a joke, but I didn't understand the joke. "What?"

"Rena, daughter of Furah and the Chief."

"They have a daughter?"

"Had, she passed away."

I gasped. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah. She was wild, always running off and exploring the mountains and forest. One day she fell into an animal trap and died. All the healers of the village tried to wake her up, but she never woke up again. That's why Furah named you after Rena, Rena means princess by the way."

"Did you know Rena?"

"Not really. She was our princess but didn't have any friends, I think she enjoyed her own company. I would see her around in the mountains sometimes. Hunting is for men, but she loved to hunt birds and carve things."

"Explains why there's so many carvings in our hut."

"By the way, that's why I don't call you Rena. That's not your name, that's not you. I believe you have a name that belongs to only you and no one else. You just haven't remembered the name yet. One day you will, and I will call you by that name."

"So Furah and the chief took me in to replace Rena?"

"Furah. Not the chief. The chief is against it. That's why he doesn't like you. They really loved Rena a lot. She was their only child. I heard stories that Furah and the chief had tried to conceive for a long time but never got a child, and then after years of trying, they finally got Rena. 17 years after that, before she could be crowned princess she died."

"That is so sad. I feel so bad for Furah. No wonder she loves me so much. She wishes I was her Rena."

"Yeah, Furah and the chief never smiled again after Rena's death. You are here now, Furah smiles, and the chief just gets upset."

"That's why he hates me so much."

"Rena died three years ago. She would have been twenty now."

I held both my hands over my face and kept it there for a while.

Yoké took my hands off my face.

"Do you know how old I am now?"

I knew he was just trying to divert my attention again; he didn't want to see me sad.

I shook my head.

"I'm twenty-four. How old are you?"

"I don't know. You know I don't know."

He smiled. "I know. But you are just so sad. I don't like seeing you sad. What am I to do with you?"

I hugged him, with my head on his chest and my arms around his waist.

"What are you doing?" He made a small attempt to remove me from him.

"I just feel really sad." I told him and tightened my grip.

He sighed, and then he hugged me back with his arm around my shoulders.

"You know, there's so many stories about this village, how am I to tell you all of them if you keep wasting time getting sad?"

"You've told me a lot of stories about the village, but you haven't told me your story."

I came out of his arms and turned toward him.

"What do you want to know about me?"

"Everything. Where is your mother and father?"

He smiled but a half smile.

"My mother died while giving birth to me... and my father... well let's just say that the Gods are taking care of him."

"I'm sorry about your mother."

"It's been twenty-four years; I learnt to live with it. Although sometimes I do wonder if she was alive what she'd look like, what she'd sound like or smell like. It's just thoughts."

He looked far off into the river.

"I'm sure she would have looked beautiful and powerful."

He smiled sadly. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I'm sure..."

He nodded and looked down.

"I haven't seen her, but I paint her face whenever I have nothing to do in the hut. My heart tells me to paint her with the face I do. I know it's silly."

"Can I see them one day?"

"Uma always used to ask me who it is that I'm always painting, the first time I told him, he thought I was going mad."

Yoké looked sad for the first time. I felt really bad that I asked about his family. It was my time to distract him too now.

"Uh... and why is it that you are the only person in this village that can speak English?"

He opened his mouth to answer but the words didn't come out, he was distracted at something behind me. I looked behind me. Gamu and Uma were hurrying towards us.

"The show has stopped!" Gamu exclaimed.

Yoké and I tumbled to our feet quickly.

"How long ago?" Yoké asked them.

"Just now, we have to hurry back." Uma replied.

We started running all the way back. Yoké held my hand to help me run faster. We ran in the dark, through the trees.

When we got closer to the arena and could see the lights from the fires from a distance Uma stopped.

"We have to leave them here, if anyone sees us with them, we're dead."

Yoké turned to me quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow at the well."

"Yes."

I ran towards Gamu and held her hand, we then sprinted to the arena, when we got there, we started walking.

"There's the chief." Gamu told me and we quickly walked towards him.

"Where have you two been? Didn't you tell her that we leave first? Before everyone?"

"I did..." Gamu looked nervous. "But she insisted that we go into the forest."

My heart beat out of my chest! What was Gamu saying?

The chief frowned.

"For what?"

Everyone was gathered up behind us watching the scene.

"I can't say it in front of everyone Chief."

"Why did she take you to the forest, Gamu?"

I started to tremble.

"Well... yesterday's okras didn't do her stomach so well, so she had to go relieve herself."

The villagers started laughing. I was so relieved!

"Yes," I said. "That's true Chief."

The chief just shook his head at me and was about to turn around when someone called out from the audience.

"That's not true!"

My heart started to race once again. I recognized that voice. And I knew that this wasn't going to end well. I wished I could just disappear at that instant or run away.

"Who said that?" The Chief asked.

"It was I, Chief." Abu came forward and stood next to me. He looked at me and gave me a wicked smirk.

I shook my head. I didn't know my time in this village would be so short-lived.

"I saw her and your servant just when the show started, they were first seated in front of me, and then they got up and went to that corner."

He pointed and everyone including myself turned around to see.

"I kept an eye on them because they looked mischievous. And then I saw them run off into the forest. I followed them because I knew they were about to do something that would bring shame to our village. And guess what! They were."

All the villagers gasped. Furah was next to the chief and she looked nervous and frightened.

"What were they doing?"

I couldn't take this anymore. I was dying.

"It wasn't Gamu's fault chief, it was just me." I spoke up.

The villagers gasped even louder and then they started to murmur.

"Yes actually. It wasn't Gamu. It was just her. Gamu was only accompanying her. She did a shameful thing. I can't even say it."

Why was Abu doing this to me?

"They went into the forest and Rena began to sing. She had such a beautiful voice, and I thought to myself, why? Why hide such a beautiful talent whereas she could have performed at the event?"

My heart fell, and the tightness in the atmosphere disappeared. The chief rolled his eyes and turned around to leave.

"Wait Chief, it's shameful because our neighbouring villagers have so much talent, and we are unable to match up."

The chief didn't stop walking, he left without us. The villagers started talking amongst themselves.

Furah came towards me with a warm sad smile. She touched my chin.

"I will make sure in the next event you will be the first to perform." She told me.

I nodded. She turned around and started walking.

Gamu and I looked at each other and sighed simultaneously. Gamu shook her head and walked on. I turned to look at Abu.

He winked at me and nodded slowly.

"See you at the well tomorrow." He told me.

I rolled my eyes at him and walked off.