Violets are grey

  DAWN

  After all my lectures has ended for the day, I didn't go straight to the hostel as I had always done. It won't hurt to explore the school's surroundings, right? I wandered around, getting lost in a few unknown places and asking random passersby for the right way back. It was fun, thrilling even. I walked a path a few steps away from the college's main building, it was a small patch of lush greenery. Small didn't quite do justice to describing it but its size difference from the school's building made it reasonable at that moment. Huge trees and beautiful flowers spread across the land making it more enticing than ever. The irresistible scent that the flowers carried was enough reason to appreciate existence, I leaned forward, feeling the wind on my face, it felt incredible. 

  It was a quiet and serene environment, good enough to be my new hideout. A place where I could come to read and spend quality time alone, I loved it already. I kept walking amidst the grasses that fell to the sides as the wind commanded, their soft feel grazing my legs... till it wasn't so soft anymore.

  I let out a low cry when I felt a sharp pain in my leg, accompanied by the stinging sensation that settled and the warm flow of liquid that followed. Maybe this was why people wore long pants for adventurous walks — to stop these sharp unwanted plants from piercing their skin. I took out a napkin from my bag and wiped my bleeding leg, it still hurt, but not well enough to stop me from enjoying my walk.

 My determination soon waned as I spotted two lads at a distance, a few inches away from each other. Judging from their posture, it didn't look as though their meeting was a friendly one. One had a simper plastered on his face, the other had his hands balled into fists; I could tell he was seething with rage. I had two options, one was to walk away quietly from whatever kind of trouble this was and erase everything I saw from my memory; the other, to intervene — which wasn't much of a brilliant idea considering where we were and how secluded it was from the rest of the population.

I should probably walk away, that was the smart option. After my encounter with the rude guy on my first day, I did my best to steer clear of any form of trouble.

But, what if? What if I walked away and something terrible happened? I'd have to live with knowing I could have changed something, I didn't think I could hear that weight.

 I couldn't easily get help too, I had to do something, anything.

Here goes nothing.

"No one is allowed to fight on the school premises, you could get rusticated," I yelled from where I stood, making sure a reasonable amount of distance stayed between us, just in case I needed to bolt. 

I hoped I didn't have to.

  My voice did a number on these two as they turned swiftly to my direction, four pairs of eyes glaring fiercely at me. I gasped.

It was him, the rude guy from before, it was him! He slowly released his balled fist as he looked at me. I could tell he recognized me, his eyes grew unbelievably wide.

  It dawned on me how ridiculous of a decision this was. What if the voice in my head was right after all and I had just interrupted a drug deal or...or worse?   This was the perfect place to commit a crime without getting apprehended and I walked right into the mess. Now I had to work my way out. 

My breath got caught in my throat, and I was struggling twice harder to regulate my breathing, partially hoping they don't notice my struggle.

 I don't want to die, I don't want to die.

It took forever to sort my next course of action, I merely turned abruptly to leave before the other guy blocked my path, I could have sworn he was behind me a second ago, but then again, I'm not trusting my judgement for a while.

His brown eyes travelled down my neck, to my chest and back, he was close enough to feel his warm against my skin, and it made my stomach churn. His lips curved into a light smile as his tongue made its way out of his mouth, licking his plum lips. 

"You'd miss all the fun if you leave so early," his nose crinkling as he snickered.

I had to play this slow and safe, I had already made a dumb decision and facing it was all that was left. My fingers tapped my legs aggressively; something that always happened whenever fear took over. My mind was warped, my brain won't offer me words but I knew well enough than to let the fear show, so I wore a facade, a smile as his eyes kept travelling to different parts of my body. People like this fed on fear; it heightens their ego and that just meant more trouble for me.

 "I just didn't want anyone to get

hurt," I muttered, my heart was running a hundred miles per second as fear rippled through me making my knees weaker as time went by.

"Matthias, let's take this somewhere else."

His voice ripped right through my fear restoring a little stability. The rude guy I had an encounter with pulled the other out of my way before he had a chance to protest. Other than throwing me a look that made goosebumps rise on my skin, he said nothing to me. Either way, I was grateful they were leaving.

"Interesting girl, don't you think?" I heard the one named Matthias say to him despite his wobbly movement from the abrupt pull.

In a brief moment, they were out of sight. I sank to the ground as a result of my failing legs. The reality of what occurred couldn't find a place to dwell in my mind, rethinking a thousand possibilities of what could have happened. All kinds of emotions welled inside of me, all of them being negative. A tear escaped my eyes as I made my way through the woods, a good night's rest would be nice after all that had happened.

~~

No roommate? Even better, she seldom came to stay and left before I woke up; I could say I was a light sleeper though but she was extremely quiet.

I lay on my bed with my phone in my hand, I should probably tell him everything that had happened since I got into college but I remembered how he clearly stated his non-interest in my personal life as I should not in his, we plainly talked about different topics and shared our views on them, even his awareness of my being in college was a slip on my part. In other words, I knew nothing about his person, his intelligence and kind-heartedness were enough to earn him my friendship, nothing more, right?

How should I explain developing romantic feelings for a stranger who I'd never seen, nor touched? A person whose name I didn't even know. 

I sighed, my life was a mess. Well, till my phone buzzed and I felt my worry float right out of me.

UndA: Hey, stranger. It's me again.

Violetsaregrey: It's been a while, how are you?

UndA: A while? It's been 12 hours, did I grow onyou? *Smiley emoji*

Violetsaregrey: Well, if you put it like that.

Maybe you did grow on me.

UndA: I could say the same.

    My heartbeat slowed then raised once again faster than ever, like a deer on a sprinting spree, I texted back hastily.

Violetsaregrey: how are you?

UndA: Barely alive, you?

Violetsaregrey: wishing I was dead.

UndA: why?

Violetsaregrey: college, personal matters. It's exhausting.

UndA: oh, sorry about that. I hope it gets better.

Violetsaregrey: What would you say if I wanted to meet the person behind the screen?

     

Silence slowly swallowed the atmosphere. I watched in anticipation as the dots pranced back and forth, he was typing. It took more than a minute for the response to come in.

 

UndA: No, I'm afraid that's not possible.

Ouch, the ache in my chest won't go away.

Violetsaregrey: okay, for now, or forever? :'(

UndA: I don't know.

 

I tried to change the subject, I should have known he had no intentions of meeting when he asked me to refrain from sharing personal, I had left that slip from my mind for a while, I should remember it more now.

 Violetsaregrey: did you like the book I recommended?

UndA: yes! Yes, it was amazing. Let's talk about that.

   Yes, anything but my selfish misery.