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CHAPTER SEVENTY – FIVEROSE AMARA’S POVPregnant.I think the doctor just said I’m pregnant.“I can’t be pregnant,” I blurt. “I’m on the pill.”The doctor double-checks the papers in his hand. “You are, miss.”“There must be a mistake.”“No. Your blood tests came back with a considerable amount of hCG, which is the pregnancy hormone.”I stare at his face, my mouth falling open. “Then…then…how can I get pregnant if I’m on the pill?”“If you missed a day or so, it could happen.”“I never have.” Because the brute Ethan keeps coming inside me all the time and is so vehemently against wearing a fvcking condom, I take them religiously.My gaze slowly slides to his. He’s grown quiet, his face expressionless. What is that supposed to mean? Is he also shocked?I’m going to put a baby in you.My eyes widen as his words from before slamming back into me.No, he didn’t.He…wouldn’t.“Is this the first time you’re finding out about the pregnancy? If so, you should see an OB-GYN,” the doctor contin
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CHAPTER SEVENTY – SIXETHANS POVThe covers slide down her body, revealing her nightgown that rides up her bare thighs. It’s a plain white one, not the red I was promised tonight, but, oh well—I didn’t expect her to wear it after the fiasco in the hospital.Her hair is slightly damp, which means she took a quick shower.I'm tempted to lie beside her like this, but I don't want any of the blood marring my clothes and skin on her. She can make me feel like I do have filthy hands, and those hands keep on tarnishing her over and over again.If I were sane enough, I would've stopped this vicious cycle of tainting her every step, but I'm fvcking insane about this woman.I strip on my way to the bathroom and shower quickly, letting the blood cascade down the dRosen.When I return to the room, Rose is still curled on her side, but a frown is etched deep between her brows this time. My chest tightens at what she must be dreaming about—the memories from today.All I want to do is erase them and
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CHAPTER SEVENTY – SEVENROSE AMARA’S POVEthan isn’t there when I wake up in the morning.In fact, he hasn’t been there since I said those words. He pulled out of me, and although he didn’t leave the bed, he didn’t hold me either.He was there in body but not in soul. He slept with enough distance between us for the first time since we married that I shivered in the cold.And in a way, it felt like he disappeared again.I should've seen that coming when I said I'd get an abortion. However, predicting something is entirely different from witnessing him withdraw from me. I guess a stupid part of me hoped he'd rectify his mistake by letting me have the final decision and actually respecting it.Instead, he didn’t talk to me, didn’t fight, and didn’t even make one of his distasteful passive-aggressive remarks. He just left as he usually does.I try to ignore the soreness between my legs as I prepare for my day. I shouldn't have let him fvck me last night.I really, really shouldn’t have.
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CHAPTER SEVENTY – EIGHTROSE AMARA’S POVI realize he's speaking to Zeth and Sasha since we're the only four here.Zeth doesn't move until I nod at him. Sasha hesitates, staring between me and Pharaoah, her lips parting in worry.“Boss—”“What part of fvcking leave do you not understand?” He cuts her off without sparing her a glance.She jerks upright as if his command is a whip, then gives a sharp nod. Before moving, she chances one last unsure glance at me and slips out, closing the door behind her.Pharaoah and I sit across from each other. I want to break his glasses and jam them in his eyes for how he yelled at Sasha, but I remain calm since he's the type of freak who gets off on strong emotions."I didn't realize we were close enough to sit for tea after breakfast, Pharaoah." I take a sip of my coffee while staring at him over the rim of my cup. I always need to watch the cunning fox to somehow grasp him.“We’re not. Fortunately.”“Fortunately. So to what do I owe this honorable
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CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE ROSE AMARA’S POVI hate seeing her anguished like this. It feels as if I'm amputating a limb or something. I hold her to my side by the shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Maria. Everyone was there, and I couldn't endanger your life." Her brows stay drawn together, unconvinced, so I continue, "Your absence was like having an empty hole in my chest, but I couldn't bring you in. Not when your life, Arden's, and Karl's are at stake."That makes her wrap an arm around my waist. “I know, but it still sucks.”“I’m sorry.”"Sorry doesn't fix the fact that you hid it from me." She pushes back. "I can try to understand not being invited, but we talk all the time—how come you never mentioned it? Would you have ever told me if Ethan hadn't come to visit?"I glare at him. The jerk is meddling in business that doesn’t concern him.His expression remains the same, and even though he’s playing with Arden, he’s barely smiling.“It was an arranged marriage. I didn’t think it would last,” I
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CHAPTER EIGHTYROSE AMARA’S POV“Maria…”“Fine, fine. You were protecting me and whatever.”“I would do anything to make sure you’re safe.”“I have no doubt, but don’t cut me out of your life. I hate that.”“I’ll try to be more present.”“As you should. Now, tell me all about you and Ethan.”A deep sigh heaves out of my lungs. “There’s nothing to tell.”“What do you mean there’s nothing to tell? There’s so much tension between you two that it can be cut through with a knife.”“Have you seen the way he looks at me?”“Like he wants to hate-fuck you, then slowly fuck you?”“No, like he’s erasing me.”She stares at me incredulously. “Whoa. You’re hopeless.”“What?”“You’re such a great judge of character in mafia things, but you suck in the affection department, Rose.”“What is that supposed to mean? He really looks like he doesn’t care.”“No, he doesn’t. He just seems a bit heartbroken.”"Because I said I would abort the baby, that wouldn't have happened if he hadn't switched my birth co
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CHAPTER EIGHT - ONEROSE AMARA'S POVZeth stays with them as a guard, which reminds me to ask Uncle River to send a few more to Maria's side. He always wanted to put guards on her, but I respected her wishes of wanting to live an everyday life.As the car moves, I stare at Ethan, who's passed out beside me. His head is slung back on the leather seat, and his lips are slightly parted. The first two buttons of his shirt are open, revealing his taut skin and lean, muscular build.Was he always this attractive, or am I just too drunk on him as he is on wine?I'm mad at him, but I can't resist it as I reach out a tentative hand and palm his cheek. My touch is soft and experimental. I've never actually touched him to my heart's content before. It's always felt as if he's the one who does that, and I needn't do anything.His head tilts until it falls on my shoulder. I suck in a deep breath, but all I manage to inhale into my lungs is his masculine scent mixed with the wine.He wraps an arm a
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CHAPTER EIGHTY - TWOROSE AMARA’S POVI'm lying completely flat on the carpet with my back to him. I stare back at him as he yanks open his drawer. He'll bring out a toy, but I should've known better. Ethan might like to torture me with them, but he doesn't want them involved during sex. I prefer him to them, anyway.He retrieves a bottle of lube and a condom and doesn't bother to close the drawer. Wait. A condom? Ethan never used them, so I didn't even know he had one.Besides, what’s the use of a condom when he’s already gotten me pregnant?He removes his shirt, revealing his stiff muscles and the tattoos rippling on his abs. I don't dare look away or move. I'll be missing something crucial if I do.Ethan throws his shirt away and stalks behind me like a hungry predator about to devour his prey. I follow him with my gaze until he kneels between my parted legs.He places a hand under my stomach and lifts me up so I'm slightly bent over on my knees. The position differs from anything
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CHAPTER NINETYETHAN’S POVHe really didn’t follow.I stand on the balcony for several minutes in case he shows up, but there’s no trace of him.None at all. No call. No text.I stare at the letter he left me that I tucked in my bag. Is that the last I’ll see of him? Really?I ought to kick his ass for everything he made me go through. I gave him all the reasons to come back and at least talk to me. I went to him. I didn’t remove the wedding ring. I didn’t tell him he was an idiot for thinking that leaving is the solution.I did it all, but he didn’t even follow.Fvck him.I’m about to go take a shower when commotion comes from outside my room.My heartbeat skyrockets and I nearly trip over my feet as I swing the door open.It’s not Ethan ’s face that greets me. Instead, it’s Zeth and Eya arguing with Lia, telling her she can’t go inside.“What’s going on?” I try to hide the disappointment in my tone.“You said not to disturb you, miss,” Zeth says, “but Mrs. Volkov insists on seeing y
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CHAPTER EIGHTY- NINEETHAN’S POV“Fvck!”I kick Rolan’s lifeless body. Even the arsehole’s death doesn’t feel as victorious as I thought it would.Rose disappeared down the hall with that fvcker Vladimir. He’ll have even more of an opening to be beside her now that I’m not there, which has been his purpose all along.Motherfvcker.“She has you by the balls. I’m disappointed.” Fire leans against the doorframe and places a cigarette in his mouth, but instead of lighting it, he keeps flipping his lighter on and off. His Beware of Fire Hazard tattoo peeks out from underneath his sleeve with the movement.“Shut the fvck up, Fire. He almost clipped my nails from my sniper hand, Godfather!”“It didn’t happen.” Fire pauses flipping his lighter.I narrow my eyes. “You wanted to do it.”“But I didn’t. And stop moaning to Ghost like a little kid.”“I’m going to—”“Enough.” Godfather sighs, staring down at me. “Do you have the time to bicker with Fire right now? Shouldn’t you go after your wife?”
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CHAPTER EIGHTY-EIGHT ROSE AMARA ’S POVI did it.I’m in the Irish’s club, which Rolan has a back office in.It hasn’t been an individual effort. Thanks to Julian and his acquaintance with Ethan ’s insider with the Irish, we were able to figure out the location.While River was completely against handing over territories, he said he’d turn a blind eye if I took his men and came here.I had to beg Vlad to help, and it wasn’t easy since he doesn’t like Ethan . The growly mountain of a man only softened when I mentioned the baby and that I don’t want him to grow up fatherless.Damien agreed to help because, in his words, “It should be fun.”I asked Kirill for his intel help because he has the best spies. He was the hardest to crack, and only agreed when I gave him an oath in front of Sasha that no one except for the three of us will know of her true gender. Well, Ethan already knows somehow, but I’m not the one who told him.Igor sent men, too, but Adrian has been MIA today. Even his clo
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CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN ETHAN’S POVMum’s words from the nightmare slam back to me. Could it be a warning about the truth?“Who is he?” I ask Rolan. “Who’s my father?”He releases a long laugh that echoes in the space around us. “Ah. Isn’t this grand? Ye lived with the Russians for years and still didn’t recognize yer father? A bastard is a bastard, after all.”“Who the fvck is he?”“Don’t ye worry, my lad. I already called him and gave him evidence that ye’re his boy, so if he does want ye, he’ll show up. Though, I doubt anyone wants a filthy bastard whose only use is killing from the shadows.”“Was he the one from that night? The one who came when my mother tried to escape?”“Probably. Yer mother was smart, but not fast enough. My idiot brother promised to protect her and ye, but she knew I’d kill ye both the first chance I got, so she decided to leave. But that didn’t turn out grand for her, did it?”“I’m going to kill you,” I mutter through clenched teeth. “I don’t care how or when,
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CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIXETHAN’S POV“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”Mam? Where are you?The place is pitch-black like a cave. It smells rotten too, as if a dead animal is decomposing inside it. My legs get lost in something sticky underneath, but I can’t see it.I can’t see anything except for darkness.The sound of weeping gets louder the more I walk. It’s my mother. I’d recognize the sound anywhere, even though it’s been thirty years.“Mam? Where are ye?” I don’t know why I’m speaking in a Northern Irish accent, but all of a sudden, it feels as if I’m back to being that small boy. The only difference is that I’m trapped in a grown-up’s body. “Mam!”The only answer is the sound of weeping. It’s long and wretched as if her grief is clawing out from the grave.“Mam, come out. I can protect ye now. No one will hurt ye.”The weeping ceases and a rustle comes from right in front of me. I halt, the sound of the sticky mud under my feet stopping too.The darkness slowly dissipates like fo
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CHAPTER EIGHTY - FIVEROSE AMARA'S POVAfter knocking on the office’s door, I open it and step inside. I pause when I find an unknown man sitting across from my granduncle.“Rose. Come in.” Uncle River motions at me to join him, so I close the door and do just that, bluntly watching the new man.He appears to be in his mid to late forties. His large frame dwarfs his dark suit. His brown hair is styled back, and he's sitting nonchalantly. It's not so threatening as to attract attention, but it's not slack either, like he's ready to jump up any second. It's so similar to… Ethan's.Tattoos cover the backs of his hands, and they don’t appear like the ones I recognize from the Bratva, the Triads, or the Yakuza.He's watching me as intently as I'm watching him, like we're two predators before a fight over who owns a territory.“This is Rose.” Uncle River introduced me.“So she’s the one Ethan married.” the stranger observes quietly. British accent. Wait, could he be…“Are you…Ethan’s…”“God
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CHAPTER EIGHTY - FOURETHAN'S POVMiss Amber,I know you hate it when I call you that, but I need the distance right now to write this.The first time I met you, I thought you were just another spoilt mafia princess, but I found you to be a strict bean. You didn't let anyone tell you what to do and stood up for yourself. You didn't stop there and made it your mission to help those weaker than you, even if it meant going against people with more influence than you.Here's the thing—I didn't plan to get close or to learn about you as much as I have. My sole mission then was to use Nikolai's intel to watch my uncle's movements from afar.At one point, that mission started to blur. At one point, the only reason I looked forward to new days wasn't my grand revenge plan but you.The more time I spent with you, the harder you tore at my armor and engraved yourself deeper. The more I saw, the blurrier my purpose became, the more insignificant I felt. Watching you go after your goals without h
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CHAPTER EIGHTY - THREEETHAN'S POVthe splitting headache is the least of my problems when I stare at the woman lying on her stomach on the bed.A galaxy of bruises covers her hips, arms, thighs, arse, and even around the snake tattoo on her spine.Fvck.I spring awake as memories of last night trickle back in. What the fvck have I done? If it weren't for her back's steady rise and fall, I would think I'd killed her or something.Bloody hell.I shouldn't have touched her when I was drunk. The reason I don't get drunk isn't only because I lose my inhibitions but also because I can't control myself. There's no stop or even pause button in that state.Not that I've ever had those buttons when it comes to Rose. Whenever I recalled my decision, I fvcked her more, owned her more, and was nothing short of a madman.I can’t believe I took her on the floor over and over like a fvcking animal. She’s already too fragile and easily bruises by a simple touch. How could I let my beast side take com
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CHAPTER EIGHTY - TWOROSE AMARA’S POVI'm lying completely flat on the carpet with my back to him. I stare back at him as he yanks open his drawer. He'll bring out a toy, but I should've known better. Ethan might like to torture me with them, but he doesn't want them involved during sex. I prefer him to them, anyway.He retrieves a bottle of lube and a condom and doesn't bother to close the drawer. Wait. A condom? Ethan never used them, so I didn't even know he had one.Besides, what’s the use of a condom when he’s already gotten me pregnant?He removes his shirt, revealing his stiff muscles and the tattoos rippling on his abs. I don't dare look away or move. I'll be missing something crucial if I do.Ethan throws his shirt away and stalks behind me like a hungry predator about to devour his prey. I follow him with my gaze until he kneels between my parted legs.He places a hand under my stomach and lifts me up so I'm slightly bent over on my knees. The position differs from anything
