As I step into Bread & Cake the aroma wraps around me like a warm, comforting scarf; no one can ever feel bad when the smell of fresh croissants tickles your nose. My journey down from London this morning was a breeze for a change. I managed to get a seat thanks to my enormous baby bump and even had some time to catch Michelle up on the latest news. Needless to say, she was just as horrified by the thought that Richard seemed to be in the walls as I was. But Taylor and Henry have assured me that while the shaft apparently looked like it had been accessed on a regular basis, they had now changed the codes, as well as installed additional alarms and cameras all around. Still, I can’t help but feel like he will just find another way in. Bea, my amazing shop manager, gives me a broad smile in greeting while she loads up another basket of rolls on the shelf. It is only eight a.m. but it looks like the first batch has already sold out. A moment later Andreas comes out, wiping the flour dus
My thoughts are interrupted when suddenly there is a loud thud from above my head. Startled, I look up and see several customers looking around confused. I had thought that most of the heavy work in the flat upstairs had been completed so I am slightly worried about what could have made that noise. Bea catches my eye as she sees my expression and wanders over. “They are delivering the sofa today,” she says in explanation. “Bloody hell, Bea. I didn’t think it was big enough to make that kind of noise,” I say, making Bea chuckle at my startled expression. “I guess one of the guys must have dropped it. Do you want me to pop up and check everything is okay?” Bea asks me kindly. “Would you mind?” I ask softly and she nods, understanding my reticence about venturing upstairs before the place is finished. Mum has promised me that the place will be unrecognisable when I see it. Like a shiny penny, everything will be brand new, including the entrance, layout and furnishings so that I can
My life appears to be all about journeys at the moment; if I am not in a car, a bus or a train at some point in the day, my life feels too static. But I guess there is also the metaphorical journey I seem to be on at the moment; trying to move forward from everything that has happened feels like wading through treacle. This morning I have woken up furious. My dreams were dominated by Hannah and Richard and the feelings of hopelessness that they elicited have made me feel out of control and that in turn has made me angry. You would have thought that after such a fantastic day yesterday, I would have woken up feeling great, but in the end the opposite is true. I close my eyes and plug in my MP3 player, losing myself in Limp Bizkit’s Break Stuff, the perfect accompaniment to my foul mood. As he shouts out about wanting to rip someone’s head off I have a clear picture in my mind of who I would like that to be. All I can say is that people don’t want to mess with me today. By the time I
Slowly the noise picks up again; all those people who were ready to come to our aid politely returning to their seats to give us some privacy. You have got to love the British; ready to rise to the occasion and then happy to politely pretend like it never happened. Moments later I feel a large arm come around the both of us and guide us into the reassuring warmth of the kitchen which is now empty, apart from Andreas’ hulking frame. A moment later Bea bustles in and hands us each a mug of sweet tea which she urges us to drink in that motherly tone of hers that she reserves for the people she loves. Nicola and I sip our tea in silence as the reality of the situation sinks in. What could be so important that Richard would risk walking into Bread & Cake to scare the crap out of his baby sister? He must realise by now how much surveillance is around the place; seriously I am pretty sure Fort Knox doesn’t even have this much security. My phone starts to ring and sure enough, it is Taylo
Dr Grohl sits in his usual seat, his ever-present notebook perched on his lap, a Mont Blanc pen tapping against his upper lip as I describe how I stood up to Richard in the shop yesterday. “I know if it had been just me and him things would have probably been different,” I explain. “But knowing that I had a whole roomful of people behind me made me feel like, for once, I had the power. Richard couldn’t intimidate me and, for the first time ever, I got to be the rescuer rather than needing to be rescued.” David nods his head but doesn’t speak, indicating that I should continue with a wave of his fingers. “I sometimes feel like I live in this constant state of near panic like he’s the bogeyman and I am always looking over my shoulder wondering when he is going to next jump out at me. And I can’t even escape him when I sleep,” I say with a shrug. “Are you still having nightmares?” David asks, looking concerned. “Like clockwork,” I say with a sigh. “If it’s not Richard then it’s Hanna
There is something fabulous about an impromptu day out at the seaside. Yeah, I know Brighton has its own seafront, but there is nothing like sinking your feet into gorgeous golden sands rather than pebbles to actually make you feel like you have escaped on holiday. Instinct had driven me when I had climbed behind the wheel of my little beast and somehow I had ended up in Bournemouth, a gorgeous seaside town on the Dorset coastline. Nonna and I had often gone there on day trips when I was young enough that a bucket and spade could amuse me all day long. Driving along the seafront I had experienced a swell of nostalgia that had brought back happy memories of ice-creams melting into the sand and fish-and-chip suppers before climbing into Nonna’s tiny little car where I would inevitably fall asleep on the drive back to Brighton. It was still mid-morning by the time I parked up near the pier. I was under no impression that I was alone, I was certain my security was somewhere reporting ba
The cottage has a slightly musty air as we haven’t been down for some time. Taylor’s housekeeper comes in weekly, but it is not enough to get rid of that somewhat abandoned feeling about it. The first thing I do is head to the back of the cottage and pull back the enormous bi-fold doors until the entire room is exposed to the garden. I sniff the air appreciatively as the scent of freshly mown grass permeates the surroundings. I am just stepping out onto the patio when Taylor calls to me to ask if I fancy a barbeque tonight and when I respond that it sounds great he lets me know that he is popping out to the village store to get some meat and other bits and pieces. I briefly contemplate heading out with him but then decide what I really need is a shower. I have just emerged from the cubicle when I notice Taylor sitting on the lid of the toilet watching me. I hadn’t even heard him come in and now feel slightly embarrassed that he had caught me singing very off-key. “You could have war
My hands are shaking as I drive into Brighton. Taylor was gone this morning when I woke for an early meeting in London so I took my time getting up. The bathtub was just too tempting so I spent a good hour wallowing like a happy hippo until the water turned cool and my fingers and toes began to resemble prunes. Coffee and croissants on the patio followed until I finally had to admit to myself that the holiday was over and it was time to get back to reality, something that was compounded when my mum called to tell me that the flat was ready and that they needed me to view it this morning before final sign off on the construction. I had been so tempted to call Taylor and ask him to be there with me, but I knew that he had so much on his plate at the moment and that it would be too unfair of me to ask. Hence the pep talk to myself, telling me to get a grip and put my big-girl panties on. It is only a damn flat for heaven’s sake! But my hands continue to shake right until the point that
The lobby seems dark in contrast to the bright sunlight outside so it takes a couple of moments for my eyes to adjust and seek out Nicola. “There she is,” I say, tugging Taylor’s hand towards the corner of the room where I see her standing with Genevieve. I am startled by the look of absolute desolation in Genevieve’s eyes. Even when we visited her a couple of days ago, she looked tired, like she had aged ten years, but she still seemed like she was holding it together. Today, though, she appears like she is coming undone. Genevieve’s eyes are rimmed with red and her typically regal posture is stooped as if she is carrying the weight of her grief on her shoulders. Stix doesn’t look much better; in fact, her usual willowy frame seems to be progressing towards gaunt as opposed to merely thin.Muted words are exchanged as Taylor and I envelop them both in hugs. I try to convey my love and sympathy for them both in that small gestu
“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”William Shakespeare,A Midsummer Night's DreamTHE FIRSTOut of the corner of my eye, I watch Taylor as he pulls on the sombre dark grey suit bought especially for the occasion. His expression is pinched and I know today is going to take everything he has to keep it together. Checking my own reflection in the mirror, I smooth the dark fabric over my protruding belly, satisfied that I look presentable before turning to Taylor and holding out his tie.Taking it with a grunt of thanks, he pulls the smooth fabric around his neck. But as he attempts to tie it, he becomes more and more frustrated with his inability to make his hands do what he wants them to do until eventually he pulls it off aggressively and dumps it on the floor in a f
We almost didn’t make it to the courtroom in time, sliding in at the last minute just as the judge was taking the bench. A series of delays which started with flat tires on both our cars, something that raised numerous suspicions that it was somehow engineered, but in the end was solved when Henry’s guys found smashed glass all over the car park from some drunken idiots who had used it as a cut-through. The next stop had been the train station but engineering works from the weekend had overrun and in the end we ended up getting a ride up to London in the surveillance van that normally is in charge of keeping us safe. The irony was not lost on me that if it all goes right today and Hannah is convicted and Richard goes to jail then we will no longer need this van or the team of people dogging our every move.I sit rigidly next to Taylor as we wait with anticipation as the lead juror stands up to deliver the verdict. I can’t help but look across at Hannah,
I have just pulled out a tray of brownies that I have been experimenting with when my phone rings. I consider ignoring it but when I see that it is Taylor calling I quickly put the tray down and pick up my phone. Taylor was in court today for the closing arguments today, but I had decided to give it a miss; I just couldn’t face hearing any more lies about me and having to run the gauntlet with the press whose numbers seemed to have increased exponentially over the last few days.“Abs,” Taylor says before I even have a chance to say hello. “Abs, they have finished up their closing arguments.”“Who?” I ask quickly trying to figure out if I should be worried or not.“Both sides,” Taylor replies sounding slightly exasperated at my confusion.“Wow, that was quick. I thought it would go on for a while. At least until late this evening,” I reply.“We thought
My mum appears at the top of the stairs and looks down at me, “Oh for heaven’s sake, Abby. Stop yelling. This is your surprise,” she says sweeping her hand across to the girl standing quietly in the doorframe. “This is Victoria. She always comes away with us when we do our shoots abroad; she is the only one I trust with my skin and you know how I am about that,” Mum says giving me a look. “Plus she gives the most incredible massages so I told her about you and thought that she could give you a bit of a pampering session today.”I love my mother to bits and her gesture is so incredibly kind, but I rather wish she would have given me a little bit of warning so I could have actually washed my hair or shaved my legs or something so that I don’t feel like the sloth I am currently am. “That sounds lovely, Mum,” I say through slightly gritted teeth before turning to Victoria. “Come on up but please excuse th
“You look like crap, darling,” my mum says, not mincing her words as she surveys my appearance.“Thanks. I love you too,” I mumble back as I let my mum in the front door. She follows me up the stairs and I am conscious that, despite the fact that it is gone ten in the morning, I am still in my pyjamas.“Seriously, darling,” she says as I lead her towards the kitchen, “You have great big bags under your eyes and you look like you have barely slept in days.”“I was asleep by seven yesterday but then after midnight, Bean decided to start doing her acrobatics. I was up every hour to pee so I am knackered, Mum.” I let out a sigh as I pop the kettle on, pulling down some china mugs and getting out the teapot.“Have you been taking your vitamins?” Mum asks looking concerned.“Like clockwork,” I respond. “I just can’t seem to get my mind to w
“So the last time I saw you, Abby, I asked you to think about what makes you happy. I know you have had a lot going on but I wanted to see if you had any thoughts on your task.”I look at David and truthfully I want to smack him. “To be perfectly honest, David, it hasn’t exactly been high on my priority list. Seriously at this point, I would just settle for Richard and Hannah locked up very far away from me. But I know that isn’t the answer you are looking for.”“I know things are tough for you at the moment, Abby. But in a couple of weeks, all of this is going to be over, no matter what the verdict is. And you are going to be asking yourself these questions. You are always so focused on making everyone else happy that you need to start thinking about what you find fulfilling.” David sits there tapping his pen irritatingly on his notepad.I let out a sigh. “I like making people happy. It mak
By the time we slip back into our seats in the courtroom, the jury is just being led back in. Taylor wraps an arm around my shoulders, a comforting gesture that makes me relax a little. I watch as Emelia makes some notes as Hannah is led back into the witness box. For the first time, Hannah looks slightly nervous but when she spots Taylor and me, her gaze turns bitter.Emelia stands up and I find my heart beginning to race, almost as if I am the one getting up to question Hannah myself. “Miss Fisher, would you agree that you have spent the entire morning telling a pack of lies to the courtroom?” Emelia asks, her tone pleasant and light as if she had just asked her whether or not she had enjoyed her lunch.“Absolutely not,” Hannah replies, her tone aggressive. I watch as the tension radiates off her body, her unease written all over her face.Emelia begins by going over Hannah’s testimony that stated that she had no knowl
Today is the day; Hannah is going to be on the witness stand. My stomach churns every time I think of it. Taylor tried to dissuade me from attending, but I put my foot down this time. I need to look Hannah in the eye when she gets up and lies in court.I was so nervous the first time I walked into the courtroom to testify that I hadn’t taken much notice of my surroundings. But as I find my seat behind the large bench of barristers and solicitors for the Prosecution I take a good look around me. A large coat of arms sits above the judge’s chair which along with the dark wooden panelling gives the room an austere feel. We are still waiting for the judge to arrive, but I guess that it won’t be long as I see the far door open and the jurors are led in.It all feels a little surreal, like I am watching an episode of Law & Order: UK, as the judge enters and then finally Hannah is brought to the witness stand. I watch as she stands and makes her