Chapter 23

When i wake up, i am all alone in the room, and whilst i expected nothing else, a pang of hurt bubbles in my chest, lodging itself there like a pest who doesn’t want to leave. I gave him the most delicate parts of me, and he has taken them as though they mean absolutely nothing, maybe less than nothing. I should’ve expected nothing else, after all, he can have any woman that he wishes, all he has to do is take them.

Perhaps i was some sort of challenge to him because i resisted his touch at first, maybe it was my compliance that he wanted, not me. He just wanted to prove that he could use me whenever he wanted to. I'm sure of it. And i let him, i let him have the part of me that i refused to give to anyone else.

Shame slithers through my mind like a snake nesting in a new place, and i cannot shake the fact that perhaps all his words were just to make me softer towards him. He wants a obedient pet, not a woman.

I shake my head, wincing when i climb of the bed and onto my feet, the ache between my legs a reminder of what i had let him do to me.

I stumble across the room and into the bathroom, turning on the shower as hot as i can stand it and allowing it to burn away the memories of what i had done.

I know it won’t be the last time he uses my body, but it’ll be the last time that i give it to him willingly, we are supposed to be enemies. My father has killed hundreds of his kind, and so has my brothers. I should be no different. But i am.

I am different.

My heart will not allow me to kill those who i do not believe deserve it, and i do not agree that all Nati should die simply because of what they are. Maybe that makes me stupid or childish to hold out for the hope that one day there shall be peace, but i want it so bad that i can barely stand it.

I don’t want to spend my life fighting, even if it is all i have ever known.

I jump when i hear the outer door open, knowing that it is Mihai, i climb out of the shower and turn off the water, wrapping a towel around my body.

“Little hunter.” He calls, “I’ve brought you breakfast.”

I smile at the thought, walking back into the bedroom, i thought that when i finally saw him again I'd hate him as much as my heart does, but i don’t. He's wearing a pair of trousers that hang from his hips, and a grey T-shirt he has tucked into them, he looks so casual, something that isn’t usually the look he goes for. And yet, he is gorgeous.

“I had hoped to return before you woke up.” He says, leading me towards the sofa, “I wanted to serve you breakfast in bed.”

I frown, all my thoughts of hate slipping away, “Does that mean you stayed the entire time?” i ask, sitting down next to him on the sofa.

He places the tray on the small table and pulls it around the sofa so it's in front of me, “Not the entire time, i thought you’d be hungry when you woke up.”

My heart swells with something i cannot name. I was wrong about him; he didn’t just use me and throw me aside. He was getting me breakfast and making sure i had enough rest.

Maybe he isn’t the man i accused him of being.

“Thank you.” I murmur nervously, picking up the coffee and taking a long drink, noticing that it once again had milk and sugar in. “You didn’t have to go to any trouble for me.”

“My dearest Mae, it was no trouble at all.” He says, watching me with a smile on his face, “sometimes i forget that you need food in order to survive, and i haven’t treated you as well as i should have, but that is going to change.”

I place the cup down and pick up the round pastry that smells a lot like cinnamon, taking a small bite as i chose my next words very carefully. “What do you mean when you say that it is all going to change?” i ask.

He leans back, watching the ceiling. “Well, we will start by you finishing your breakfast, and once you do, i thought that we could both go for a run together?”

He sounds so vulnerable, he asked me as though i would refuse and throw the pastry at his head, but i would never do that. He has shown me kindness, he said that he wanted me to be his and his alone, and that if i agree, i will get more freedom. Perhaps this is what he meant.

While i use to love going for runs on my own, i know that asking for it would be rude, and maybe he’d take the other back. I'd rather run beside him than not at all, and he is better than anyone else.

“I’d love that.” I say softly, “I’d love to go for a run.”

He smiles widely, “Then there are a few rules that we must go over.”

Of course there are rules, i am a prisoner, not a guest. I need to remember that. Otherwise, i am only going to get myself hurt.

“What are the rules?” i ask, shovelling more of the pastry into my mouth.

Maybe this is what sex does to the body, because i am fucking starving, i could eat seven of these pastries and still want more.

He is silent for a moment whilst i finish the pastry, quickly moving onto the scrambled egg and bacon, it isn’t as good as when my father used to make it for me, but it is ok. It is edible.

“They are simple really.” He finally says, his voice a little bit colder. “Do not run from me if i tell you to stop, do not leave the trail and always obey any command i give.” He sighs a little, “I’m not going to lie to you, Mae, it is a test, one that you can fail if you don’t listen to me, and if you fail you will be stuck in this room again, all alone. Do you understand.”

 I forcefully swallow the bacon that suddenly tastes sour, my heart dropping into the endless pit below my stomach where it has gone to die. He still doesn't trust me.

He doesn’t trust that i won’t run the first chance that i get.

“I understand.” I say, looking away from him, “If obedience is the price of freedom, I'll do it.”

One moment he cradles my heart gently in his hands and the next he throws it into a fire of despair. How i am ever supposed to know which one he wants?

I just have to look on the bright side, at least i am finally getting out of this room.