Chapter - 5 Buffer

“Knox came over to my house again last night.” I whisper to Casey.  We’re in her bedroom in an apartment. We just got done with a study session. We have these sessions at least once a week; it always helps to have a study partner. It always gives an opportunity to see the material from a different perspective.

“He did what? Wait why are we whispering?”  She asks whispering too.

“You have a roommate and I don’t want her to overhear our conversation.” I continue whispering.

“She’s not here, she has class on campus and if you don’t want to say his name you can just say him. I’ll know who you’re talking about.” She says talking normally.

“Okay, he came over. I don’t know how to make him stop doing this. I’ve asked nicely, I’ve screamed at him and I’ve even kicked him out but he just won’t stop. I don’t know what to do anymore. ” I say moving from her desk to her bed. I lie on my side looking at her.

“I’m not surprised he doesn’t strike me as the type to listen when you ask him to do anything.” She says looking at me with pity.

“What do I do?” I ask turning on my back. I need to find a way to make him stop coming over. I need to stop him before something big happens. I know that last night was a preview of what’s to come. He was showing me that he can make me do whatever he wants. And I know I don’t have the strength to stop him.

“You need a boyfriend.” She says looking at me very seriously.

“A boyfriend? That sounds like stress I don’t need.” I say closing my eyes. I don’t need another boy to add to my problems. I already have a boy I want to get rid of, what am I going to do with another one?

“You’re too available, you need a man in your life to show him that you’re taken, you’re desired and he should go kill himself.” She says getting up and sitting next to me. I look at her terrified at the thought of meeting new people, let alone a perspective boyfriend.

“I don’t know if that would work.” I say knowing I’m not brave enough to do this. I don’t know if I want a boyfriend.

“You’re probably right, it might not but you’ll never know unless you try. You need to try something or else you’ll be stuck with this guy for the rest of your life.” She says and the thought terrifies me. What if we do this for all eternity? Him coming to my house at all hours of the night, he fucks me and then leaves in the morning to go to his perfect and rich family.

I’ll be stuck as his secret thing for the rest of my miserable life. I can’t have that.

“I don’t even know where to start. I wouldn’t know where to start, where do you meet boy?” I say feeling overwhelmed by the thought of looking for someone.    

“That’s where I come in. I’ll introduce you to all the boys.” She says smiling at me. This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I’m not sure if involving an innocent guy in my mess is the answer to getting rid of Knox but I need to do something. He needs to go.

“Okay, I’ll try.” I say sitting up. I have to try something, I have a feeling Knox is planning something big. After what he said to me last night, I know I’ll be in trouble if I let him back into my life. I need to close that door and lock it before thinks of coming back and ruining my life.

“Awesome, we’re going tonight.” She says and panic setting in. I didn’t know she meant tonight. I thought we would sit down and come up with a strategy.

“Tonight?” I say and I hear the panic in my voice.

“Yes, don’t worry you’ll be fine.” She says sensing my fear. I’m terrible in social a setting, that’s why I avoid them. I’m scared.

At a house party

When we walk through the door, I instantly feel out of place. There are so many people here. Guys downing mountains of beer cans, couples tangled on sofas making out and the music is so loud I can’t hear anything. This is not my type of place; this is definitely not my idea of fun.

“We need to go find Travis.” Casey says close to my ear so I can hear over the thudding music. I nod and she starts walking through the crowd. I hold on to her hand and walk behind her.

We find them in a room upstairs; he’s with another bunch of people drinking and smoking. We walk in. I let go of Casey’s hand so she can greet her boyfriend. Someone closes the door and the noise subsides. My ears pop at the change, I’m going to have a bad headache tomorrow morning.

She introduces me to everyone but she gives extra effort in introducing me to a boy named Michael.

She winks at me when we’re done with the introductions to show me that this is the guy she wanted me to meet.

“Is this your first time at a house party?” Michael asks when he comes to stand next to me.

“Is it that obvious?” I ask looking at him. He smiles and I see his perfect, white smile.  He has a beautiful smile.

“A little, you look very tense.”  He says and I shift from one foot to the other, I don’t know what to do with my body. This is an uncomfortable situation for me.

“Yeah this is not my idea f spending a Wednesday night.” I say forcing my body to stand still.

“What would you be doing tonight, if you weren’t here?” he asks turning his body to me. I take a deep breath and let it out. I need to relax; I don’t have to be worried. Casey is here; if something goes wrong I can just scream. And Michael seems like an okay dude so far. 

“It’s my day off so I would be home studying, catching up on assignments. But if it’s my no work, no school night; I would be watching Seinfeld on Netflix.” I say and he smiles, leaning in a fraction.

“Seinfeld is amazing.” He says and I smile too. We sit there talking about school, 90’s sitcoms and music.  

The whole time we’re sitting there talking I realize that this was not as bad as I thought it would be. Michael is a chilled and cool guy; I don’t feel anxious around him. I am completely relaxed. There are a few people in my life that make me feel that way. I’m glad Casey made me come here and I’m glad I met Michael.

“I’m hungry; would you like to get something to eat?”He asks at one point.

“Yeah, I would like something to eat.” I say and he smiles.

“ Cool there is a nice pizza place around the corner from here.” He says and I look around the room for Casey. I point to her letting him now that I’m going to talk to her.

“Michael and I are going to get pizza.” I say to her and she gives me a big thumbs up, with a big cheesy smile.

“We’ll catch up with you guys. Don’t forget to turn on your location.” She says giving me a hug. I head to the door where Michael is waiting for me. We head out of the house and walk a few minutes to the pizza place.

“What’s your favorite pizza flavor?” He asks me as we walk through the door. I open my mouth to answer him and my eyes land on Knox. He’s staring at Michael with a deadly look on his face.