Chapter 2

"Good morning, cutie."

"Ah! Why are you shouting?!" I try to get up from the bed but I feel like I'm paralyzed. The ceiling is spinning, my mouth is so dry and my head hurts so bad I want to cut it off.

"Where are you going, James?" A warm hand slides through the hair of my chest, lightly digging the bright red painted nails in my skin, pinning me back to the mattress while loose tangled curls fall on my face.

"Where the fuck I am?!" I realise I'm not in the bedroom I'm supposed to be and on top of that I'm naked!

"Oh, you're in my room." 

I manage to face the girl behind me and I back out! For a moment I see Leyla, then I remember what happened last night.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What time is it?!" I immediately jump out of the bed and start collecting my clothes, scattered across the whole room.

"Damn! Are you going to leave me like this?"

"Tell me what time it is!" I shout at her and immediately regret it. My head is killing me.

"It's 8:30 AM. Do you want coffee?" The blondie slips from the bed and puts on a robe.

"No! I need to know where's my damn phone!" I run around the room like a headless chicken. What did I do?!

"Oof, it's on the drawer. Can you calm down a little?"

I stop for a moment, trying to recall the evenings from last night, but the last I remember is getting knocked out. A blurry memory of me walking down that ass long hall with Vanessa pops up. Then I remember kissing her and that's it.

"Did we... You know?"

"Had sex? What do you think?" She throws a flirtatious wink at me. Fuck!

"Listen, I'm sorry but what happened will be a one-night thing," I make it clear but can't help but feel guilty for using the girl for my needs. I was never a fan of one night stands.

"James, I live across the Atlantic ocean, do you think I'm up for anything else than a little fun?"

"Great, wonderful," I mumble and try to wear my pants but I barely can stay on both legs, what to say doing so on one.

All the jumping and rushing makes me feel dizzy again and I feel like I'm about to throw up. "Where's the freaking bathroom?!"

"On your left," Vanessa points to the door and giggles, obviously having fun with my misery.

I almost break down the door in a hurry to not puke on the carpet in the bedroom.

After I flush my guts down the toilet I lean on the marble sink in an attempt to wash my face. As I look in the mirror I scare the shit out of myself by realising how fucked up I am. Goddamn it! What did I drink last night?!

"I'm too old for this," I think to myself and crawl back to find Vanessa to tell her I'm living.

"God, James. You look like a train hit you."

"And I feel exactly the same. What the fuck did we drink last night and how the hell are you so fresh?!"

The pleasant aroma of freshly made coffee hits my nose and now I crave one so badly.

"Here." She slides a cup of hot coffee across the countertop and I immediately drink it, not giving a damn it burns my throat.

"Ah, fuck!" I keep complaining and she keeps laughing. "What's so funny?!"

"I put just a tiny pinch in your drink, I didn't think it'll fuck you up so much."

For a moment I think I'm not hearing correctly. Did she spike my drink?!

"You gave me what?!"

"Something to make you loosen up a bit and hopefully have some fun time with you."

"What-did-you-give-me?!" I feel like my blood is boiling and my stomach flips. I speak loud and clear, holding the coffee mug so tight I expect it to break any moment now. God help her if she really spiked my drink.

"Ecstasy," she shortly answers while taking a sip from her coffee.

"Are you out of your goddamn mind?! How the fuck did you decide to drug me?!" Out of ferocity I throw the ceramic cup, breaking it in my feet.

"Hey, calm down a little!"

"No! I can't calm down! Are you fucking stupid?! And on top of all, you slept with me?! I swear I'll strangle you!"

"We didn't do anything, okay?! You were like a dead fish!"

I sigh in relief as I hear she lied to me and we didn't do anything. Not because I'm a saint, no. If she didn't confess she has drugged me I would've even been a little proud of myself. I would've seen it as a little victory. I see Leyla in her face and if I had slept with Vanessa and then ditch her, this would've felt like my word was the last and not Leyla's. But now I'm this close to committing a murder.

"You will carry the consequences of doing this!" I point my finger at her and storm out of the apartment."

                          ***

As the rage leaves my body I feel my legs becoming jelly. I can barely hold myself not to slip and fall under the shower while the cold water awakes my body. Fuck! So much for wanting to have some fun.

After a minute or two just lifelessly standing there, I rush out of the bathroom and hurry to get dressed. While I'm trying to put a shirt on I call for a cab and search for something to eat in the minibar. I find an energy bar and chew it on my way to the elevator. I call the pilot to get ready for the flight and check the time, 9:45. Fuck!

I jump into the taxi awaiting me outside the hotel and shout at the driver to drive the fastest way possible to the airport. He throws a questionable look at me and starts the engine.

"Can you drive faster?!" I nervously keep shouting at the man, realising he's driving like 5 miles over the limit.

"Mister, if I go above the speed limit I might get in trouble."

"Listen, I'll triple whatever you'll charge me and give you my phone if you get into trouble. Now drive faster!"

He speeds up and I try to relax in my seat but my heart is beating so fast I feel like it's about to jump out of my ribcage. I'm cold sweating and I feel like I'm about to throw up again. Screw you, Vanessa! But am I right to blame her? After all, my mother has always been repeating not to accept a drink from a stranger. Who could've thought a woman will try to take an advantage of me though. 

"It'll be 34,45$, sir."

"Here keep the change," I hurriedly shove one hundred dollar bill and my business card in the man's hand, then I run out of the car. 

I check the time, 10:02. I look around myself in searching for Miss Kingsley but she's nowhere to be found. Thanks God she's not waiting for me! I walk to my private jet and get inside to search for something to eat, I'm starving.

"Good morning, Mr. Reagan!" The air hostess greets me.

"Morning, Andrea. I need something to eat. And make me a coffee."

"Yes, Mr. Reagan, she nods and spins around on her heels to leave, every click of hers feeling like she's hammering in my head. 

I impatiently check the phone again. It's now almost ten minutes past the arranged time and I get nervous. Did she back up?

"Coffee and a sandwich, Mr. Reagan."

I face Andrea and take the goods from her.

"Andrea tell me, how do I look?" I ask her, mouth full as I'm biting the sandwich. At this point, I'm as hungry as a wolf.

"Flawless like always, Mr. Reagan."

"Be honest or I'll fire you."

"Okay... Um... A little... pale?" She nervously mumbles.

"I said be honest," I snap at her although I already know I look like shit.

"It's not one of your best days..."

"Okay, thank you," I free her to go do her work, finish the sandwich and drain the coffee cup. I peek outside and see Abigail standing in the distance talking to a man. 

I jump outside to wait for her, getting excited about her coming after all and while waiting for her I nervously check my phone once more so I don't look like a creep just standing here staring at her. Then I realise I haven't called Tom.

I fastly dial his number and after no more than a few seconds he picks up.

"James, what's up?"

"Listen, Tom, I'm flying back to Tennessee and I want you to prepare two horses for a ride."

"Why though?"

"To get them out on a date, what do you think?!"

"Someone got up with their ass up this morning."

I roll my eyes and I see Abigail walking towards me. Freely left chestnut brown hair is falling on both her sides and a casual short blue dress is slowly swinging in perfect sync with her walking, revealing her long legs. Damn it, she looks heavenly. 

"Hellooooo?" Tom's rough voice gets me out of my daydream.

"Listen, just prepare two horses for a ride."

"Okay, but why two of them though? Who are you gonna ride with?"

"Because I say so. Stop asking questions." I see Abigail now a few steps away from me, just checking me out. What a surprise. "Listen, I gotta go. I'll call you when we land."

"Um, I didn't mean to interrupt your call." Abigail's melodic voice rings in my ears and I thank the Gods she has the voice of an angel.

I check her out better this time and I can't help the naughty thoughts flooding in my head. And how can I not fantasize about her? Did she have to wear such a revealing dress? Fitting her perfectly, embracing her sexy curves. Ah fuck, I'm still drunk. Or high. Whatever I am.

"Shall we go?" I ask, trying to delete the image of her body out of my mind.

"I guess so," she shrugs.

"After you." I bow down in courtesy and immediately regret it as I feel the ham sandwich I just ate making its way back to my throat.

She giggles and gets in the plane, slowly bouncing with every step. Damn.

                           ***

"Do you want a drink?" I ask Abigail while she's just making herself comfortable in the large seat.

"No, thank you."

She looks around her, her eyes stopping on every detail of the room and I just sit there looking at her. It's either I'm still high or she is really this beautiful. I can't help but admire her beauty. Then I wonder how her parents look like and from who she got her features. I know for myself I'm a literal copy of my father. The eyes, the nose, the face structure, everything. And I hate him for that. And for many many other reasons.

"Don't you think it's a little bit too much to own a private jet?" Abigail breaking the silence startles me.

"Maybe you prefer to fly with a crying baby next to you?" I return a question. I didn't expect her to be surprised I have my own plane. Judging by her belongings I actually expected her to possess a jet herself.

"There's this thing called business class."

"Valid point, yet I prefer the comfort of my own plane."

An awkward silence fills the space between us again. A minute or two pass and I try to find a topic so I can start a talk.

"Have you ever been to Tennessee?" I ask, hoping she hasn't so I can make her stay there remembering.

"No, I haven't. I..." She stops for a minute, embarrassment written on her face. "I haven't even been outside Florida."

"How come?" I get confused. I expected her to had travelled the world.

"I guess I've never had the chance to do so. Or more like, never had someone to travel with. I love travelling but Conard thought it's a waste of money and time."

Such a moron! I hate this dude already.

''What a fool he is!'' I think to myself for losing such a captivating woman and not only that but hurting her so badly.

"What have you planned for today?" Now she chooses to break the silence and I'm entirely grateful since my foggy brain just refuses to function properly.

"Oh, nothing special. Just a walk around the distillery. And probably a nice dinner somewhere."

Fuck! I forgot to reserve a table! 

"Hmm, a nice dinner?" She purrs and it brings back the fantasies!

"I mean, if you want to. But I doubt you'll decline," I flirt with her and I think she flirts back!

"And what makes you think that?"

"The fact you'll be probably starving by that time. And my irresistible charms, of course." One thing I'm thankful for to my father is taking his charm. My mother was too shy and humble for this world.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. And you know I have my black card with me, right? I can buy a nice dinner by myself and not be forced to share it with you."

"Oh, I didn't expect this. I didn't know you feel forced to be here, Miss Kingsley," I look her straight in the eyes and I know she's joking. Also, I know my gaze makes her nervous. Hehe. James scores a point!

She only rolls her eyes though.

"Sooo, since you haven't been to Tennessee you simply need a travel guide. Good thing I know Nashville by heart." I get a little more excited and as I gesticulate I catch Abigail staring at my right wrist. Ah damn, here we go. 

She shifts in her seat and furrows her brows, taking a moment or two before asking.

"James...? What's this thing on your wrist?"

She just had to ask, didn't she? I see she keeps staring and that makes me even angrier. The scar on my wrist is the mark of my happy childhood. So happy I tried to take my own life. Stupid enough to believe that I can go away from this world so easily. It's a result of my mother dying and my father neglecting me to the point I believe everything will be better without me. I was so young and had a life so full of bullshit.

"It's none of your business," I cut, maybe harsher than I should, the girl hasn't done anything to me, but only remembering that times makes me full of rage and sadness.

"If-If you need someone to talk to, I can listen..."

"I'm fucking fine, thank you!" She keeps pushing me and I give up to my rage. 

I shout at her and she finally understands I don't want to talk about it and moves her sight to the little window behind her. A silence fills the space between us once again. I try to calm myself but the fucked up morning I had brings to my shitty mood.

                        ***

It's now an hour or so in which we stay in complete silence. Abigail keeps staring outside the window, not looking at me or somewhere else and I just look at her, then at my phone. I feel guilty for treating her like this and while I wonder how to face her and apologize, she gets up, not knowing where she's going.

"A-Abigail?" I decide to finally speak to her and my voice slightly cracks. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"No, please don't be. I'm sorry I've asked. You're right, it's none of my business..." And true it's not, but I believe she asked with good intentions and that she's now looking at the ground instead of me makes me feel even worse.

"I- I promise I'll tell you one day... Eventually. Just not now..." It'll be a hard thing to do. The only person who knows what I've been through is Leyla and she called me to be weak for not being able to let go of my past. And it hurts so much to expect comfort and to get a slap in the face instead. By the only person, you expect to understand you.

"And I promise I won't judge..." Abigail reassures me and I really hope she won't. 

We start flying in circles and I know we're close to landing so I don't bother much with it but I see Abigail glues to the window, staring in awe at the green fields below us. Her excitement is so close to a child's, I can't help but smile. I wonder how someone can be so cold and rejecting and then playful and pacifying. It's beyond my understanding.

                        ***

My driver waits for us outside and the moment we leave the airfield Abigail falls asleep. It's another fifty minutes drive to the distillery so I leave her lightly snoring on my shoulder. Or more like purring. I look at her and just smile like an idiot! She looks so peaceful in her sleep she fully calms me down.

I don't know what to do so I decide to text a friend of mine who turns out to be a cop. I want to see what can be done with Vanessa drugging me without my permission or knowing. I know he'll ask for someone to testify and I doubt her friends will do so, but it's worth a try. I send him one hell of a long explanation and close my phone to check on Abigail again. I just can't get my eyes off her.

There's something so captivating in her, I swear it fucks with my brain! I see we're almost outside the distillery and I try to wake her up, but she's asleep so cute I prefer to carry her around in my arms! But then she slightly moves, so I decide to give it one more try to wake her up.

"Wakey, wakey, sleeping beauty."

And still half asleep she startles before remembering where we are.

"Oh God, this is so embarrassing." She realises she had fallen asleep on my shoulder and I can see how uncomfortable she feels about it!

Perhaps, it might be fun to tease her a little.

"Why? It's not like you were snoring."

"Excuse you?! I'm a lady! I don't snore!" And that's right. She didn't snore, she purred and it was so cute I had to record it!

"Yeah and you definitely did not drool over my shirt," I keep teasing her and I can hear her murmur something like ''idiot" along with rolling her eyes at my little joke but I notice she's secretly checking my shirt and it takes everything in me to not explode in laughter.

"Mr. Reagan, we're here."

I leave the car and move to Abigail's side to open the door but she just jumps out of the car, almost knocking off my teeth with the door. 

She jogs around and checks everything! I see her shaking with excitement and it just hits different! I never expected such a... sophisticated woman like her to be so excited about something like this. I don't know what she expected but I bet it definitely wasn't this.

The distillery is with its original looks since it's built back then in 1876. Considering it's twenty-first century and we're almost whiskey producer No.1 in the USA, people expect big grey and modernized buildings. Instead, you get a rustic wooden view and it feels like you're brought back in time.

We're standing in front of one of the smaller storehouses, previously being a shop. It's where we keep the golden label of the drink to age and I promised Abigail to try it directly from the barrels, so I invite her to come inside and she runs in like a little child who was told it's a candy shop!  I chuckle at her enthusiasm and follow her inside.

"James, this place is incredible!" Abigail takes a 360 degrees turn on her feet, engulfing the surroundings with eyes.

"I didn't expect you to like it here."

"Neither did I. And I certainly did not expect it to be so... old?"

"I prefer to believe it's vintage. And this is the original look since this place was built back in 1876." I can't stop smiling just looking at her and how joyful she is! It energises me.

"So it's old after all."

"Yeah, I guess it can be said like that too," I laugh at her remark. "Although, it's not the whole place entirely saved since then. It was burnt down two times and before my grandpa inherited it, it was on the verge of bankruptcy."

"Have you thought of... I don't know. Modernising it?"

"Of course, I did. But I grew up here. I'm used to its looks and it feels somehow like a tradition, you know."

"Please don't tell me you are handpicking the corn."

"Wait, what?" At first, I'm a little confused, not sure if she's joking or she's for real, but judging by her serious face I realise she was seriously asking it. "Of course, we're handpicking it. We hire over three hundred people every year to pick the corn." I try to sound as serious as I can, but it's just impossible! I look at her doubtful expression and I just burst into laughter. "Sorry, I couldn't stop. And we're not undeveloped, no one picks the corn by hand anymore," I say and walk to the little wooden shelf behind us to grab two glasses and pour some whiskey to try.

As I fill the first glass I hear the wooden floor creaks under the weight of someone walking but I don't give much thought to it, as I think it's Abigail looking around. And that's when I hear a painfully irritating voice saying my name.

"James..?"

"Father?" I answer, not facing back. God, I hoped so much to not see him. "Were you there the whole time?"

"Um, yes I actually was in the toilet. What are you two doing here? And who is the lovely lady with you?"

I see him doing a deep check out of Abigail and it makes me shiver. Knowing his women's preferability I can only imagine what goes in his mind.

"Don't even try, father." I walk back to Abigail and offer her a glass of whiskey, then put my hand around her waist. Uncalled for, I know and I feel she's tense, but I have to do something to show my father to stay away.

"I'm Abigail Kingsley, owner of Kingsley resort," she shortly presents herself and I see my father's face curve into a wide smile.

"Ah, the famous Miss Kingsley. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same," she only nervously answers.

"Soo, when are you leaving?"

"Seriously, father?!"

"James, I'm trying to invite you for lunch."

"No, thanks. We have other plans."

"How about dinner?" This sudden offer coming from Abigail startles me. She has no idea what she's doing.

"Dinner sounds even better!" Dad claps with hands.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"Oh come on! It might be fun!" Obviously still under the excitement of coming here, Abigail believes it might be fun. What a mistake.

"Fun, yeah. Whatever," I grumble.

"8 PM at home, okay?"

"Okay."

I listen to them arranging dinner and I can't do much but drink the whiskey in one breath. If we're having dinner at home I'll need to drown myself in one of the barrels before going. 

"Great! I'll leave you two to do whatever you were up to. She's a nice girl, James," dad winks at me and walks out, leaving us both in a very confusing situation.

"Sooo..."

"You just have no idea what you got yourself into."

"Can you stop complaining? It might be just a typical dinner."

"There's nothing typical in my father. You'll see."

                         ***

"James, what are we doing here?"

"Have you ever ridden a horse?"

"Well, once or twice when I was little. But it was a pony and mom held me..."

"Come on, I'll help you."

After the disaster that was scheduled to be tonight at 8 PM, I pulled Abigail outside to show her the surprise I've prepared and oh God, I enjoy the frustration in her eyes too much.  

She is staring at the huge horses, patiently waiting for us on the meadow. I want to show her the cornfields and all the charms of our country life. And what better way than horse riding!

I offer a hand and Abigail takes it, then walks cautiously to the black horse, my favourite one if you ask me.

"This is Hector, you'll ride him. Don't worry, he's a sweetheart."

I have Hector since I was 14 and at some point in time, he became my best friend. There's no other creature in this world I trust as much as I trust him.

"Um... How am I supposed to get on him?"

"I'll help you."

Abigail leaves her tender body in my arms and I lift her. It feels like she's weightless. A moment later she's on top of Hector. The only problem is she somehow spins while getting on the horse and now she faces his ass! I explode into uncontrollable laughing, I just can't help it. At some point of time tears run down my face and I sound more like I'm suffocating than laughing, but hell, I can't stop.

"You touched my butt," I hear her complaining, and I see she's frozen, not moving or trembling for a moment.

"I'm not quite sure you'll be comfortable riding like this," I only keep joking with her, it's just too funny.

"Shut up and help me," she orders and I do as she says.

I try to calm the dying whale that is squeaking in my chest and reach my hands for her. Once again she trusts me and hops in my embrace. I hold her bridal style and can't help but stare in the two oceans for eyes she has. And she looks back at mine. The sun rays blink in the pools of blue and reflect in the rivers of chestnut hairs, turning her into the most beautiful creature I've seen. And I've seen some. We stay like this for a moment or two. I notice Abigail moving her sight a little and then brushes my right cheek, taking an annoying straw of grass off my face.

"You have such smooth skin. Like silk..."

"A good businessman must look like one," I day as I keep staring at her, not believing my own eyes.

Another moment and she jumps back startled, leaving my hug.

"Let's try again," I awkwardly cough after a moment or two. If she hadn't jumped, maybe I would've even dared to kiss her.

I catch her by her waist again and lift her on top of Hector and I see something maybe I shouldn't have, but it's not my fault at all. I catch a glimpse of red lace from under her short dress and suddenly I'm in a very uncomfortable situation. I feel my pants getting tight, so I try to adjust in them, shoving my hands in the small pockets, hoping to stretch the fabric and make some room for the buddy, then I hurry to hide.

"There we go," I distractingly murmur and walk to the other horse. The zipper of my pants rubs my dick and damn it, it gives me one hell of a discomfort. How am I supposed to ride like this?!

"You're a good girl, aren't you, Lola?" I pet the gentle beast and hope she won't fail me. I know she has quite the temper and I curse Tom for picking these two horses for a first ride. Or it wasn't on purpose?

Hector and Lola are the star couple in our stables, so I guess that's why Tom brought the two of them. I realise I'm taking more time than I should just to pet and pray not to fall from Lola. And now that my slacks are more... comfortable I finally hop on the horse and... nothing! She stays still and I calm down a little. I whistle and the horses start a slow trot.

                          ***

"James, where are we going?"

We're riding for maybe half an hour now and in complete silence. All you can hear is the clicking of the horses' hoofs... and Abigail's ringing laughing. I ride next to her and I see her wide grin. Damn it, why did the owner of 'Kingsley resort' has to be so beautiful?! Of course, I knew she is, I've seen her. But the photos I've seen have nothing to do with her real beauty.

"Race me and you'll see!" I run Lola in a gallop, trying to distract myself from the constant thoughts that roam around in my head.

I hear Abigail shouting something behind me but I can't hear her, I only face back to check on her and only hear her screaming in panic as Hector runs madly to catch up with his... lover? Whatever horses are.

I slow down and once the horse duo is together again, Hector slows down too. I must say Abigail is not leading the horse. More likely the horse is leading her. Just carelessly carrying her on its back. Good thing he's a good boy.

"James, where are we going?" She asks me again, expecting we're going to a certain place.

"Just look around, Abigail."

Maybe realising we're riding with no final destination, she looks around her and opens her mouth in awe. These appealing fluffy lips...

"James... it's so beautiful."

''Yeah, it is...'' I think to myself, not taking off my eyes from her. I keep daydreaming.

"Come on, there's one more thing to show you."

We're nearby to a place so simple yet so beautiful, it can be compared to Heaven. If Heaven was a real place. Thinking of it now, maybe this place is Heaven itself.

We ride for another 10 minutes and we're there! My place. And what's so special about it? Nothing and everything. 

It's an old water tower on top of the hill but oh dear Lord, the view in front of us is one of a kind. Endless and colorful fields getting painted in gold by the sunset. It's truly astonishing. Mind-blowing. You need to see it so you can feel how magical this place is.

"Are you trying to impress me, Mr. Reagan?"

"Maybe I am. Are you impressed, Miss Kingsley?"

"I definitely am. It's so beautiful, James. Thank you for showing me this place."

"I used to come here when I was little. My father showed it to me. When we were... closer. I loved watching the sunset. The sun playing around with the colours. Showering everything in gold. It is and always was this beautiful."

 I've never shown this place to anyone. Not even to Leyla. It was my spot. My safe place. I can't count the times I've been here when life was too hard on me. It feels like it just drains all the bad emotions from me, leaving me in complete peace with myself.

"Come on. We need to go back."

Sadly, I can't stop the time. I wish I could lock us in this very moment. But the sun finally hides and we need to leave.

We ride the way back to the distillery and the whole time Abigail complains of Hector. He's nervous and restless, not listening to her, not even to me.

Finally, I take one of the bridles in hand and the horse calms down. 

We slowly ride back and now I'm more thankful than mad at the horse because I'm this close to Abigail I can smell her sweet perfume.

                            ***

"I swear, it's like Hector got mad at me! On the way back he just refused to listen to me!"

"Just pet him, he loves that."

I hurry to take off the saddle from Lola, so the animals can go take some rest. I've never thought I'll share my passion for horse riding with a woman, but here she is. She did awesome. And even shouted a few times how much she likes it! God, can she get any more perfect?! 

A scream from behind me gets me out of my dreaming. I face back and see Hector on his back legs and Abigail stumbling upon a rock.

"Abigail!" I don't think, I just jump to catch her! I offer my hand under her head and thankfully, it prevents her from hitting that beautiful chestnut mess of hairs on the ground. "Are you alright, Abigail..?" But she doesn't answer. She only stares into my eyes. And I do the same.

I lay on top of her, feeling her petite curves pressing to my body. Fuck, I hope she doesn't feel my desires for her growing in my pants. This is the second time I'm this close to her, the second time I have a chance to kiss her. Her lips are so close I can effortlessly press mine to hers. And I'm about to. I lean to taste them... and she stops me.

"James...Get off me."

So I do as I'm told. I get up and offer her a hand. She hurries to clean her dress from the straws of freshly mown grass and I just stand there, staring at the lips I was just about to kiss. My heart fastens the beating and I take a quick check of my pants, fingers crossed my bulge is not too obvious.

"I told you he's mad at me!" She immediately changes the topic, shouting at the horse and not looking at me. I swear I can see her flushed cheeks. Or I imagine I'm seeing it.

"Abigail, this... I--"

"This was nothing. It didn't happen. I simply fell and you helped me to get up. Thanks for that, by the way," she faces me but she's not looking at me. She looks somewhere in the nothing behind me.

"So you're just going to pretend it never happened? Don't tell me you didn't feel it. The sparks, the connection."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr Reagan," she nervously shrugs, trying to make me drop off this talk.

"I see. Okay. Just wonderful," I turn my back at her, hopelessly searching for something to do, so I get back to petting Lola.

I'm mad. But I don't know at what. At myself for really trying to do something? At the horse for putting me in such a situation? Or at Abigail for being honest with me? This is ridiculous. You know these romantic movies where two soul mates meet and instantly feel the connection and the fluttering butterflies? I felt it. I know it sounds way too cliche and odd, but I felt it. I still feel it. It's a really specific feeling I can't really explain.

In no way I say it's a love of first sight, no. But there's something in this woman that makes me want to be close to her. Maybe it's the fact I haven't been with a woman in like a year, I don't know. Maybe it's all in my head, maybe I'm still drunk. All I know is I act like a horny teen. Fuck! What did I do?! She's supposed to become a business partner. Oh God, I'm so dumb! I ruined everything! Fuck it! Fuck me and my big ego! I take a breath and check the time, 7 PM.

"We need to go."

"Like, now?!"

"Maybe you prefer to have dinner with the horses? Let me remind you that you settled us to a dinner with my horrific father and his even worse wife!" I face her and I keep acting like a dumb teenager!

For God's sake, can't I just shut up, at least for once?! Affected by Abigail's rejection, I get my anger at her.

"Excuse you! Did you just...I won't let you talk to me like this!"

"Whatever. Let's just go," I roll my eyes and bite my tongue. I fully realise it's not fair to get mad at her, but hell! I can't control my own damn mouth! I'm mad at the world for unknown reasons.

"But I need to change."

"Too bad, the hotel is far from here." 

I don't leave her a chance to say something. I just turn around and start walking to the car. Even I wonder what's wrong with me and why do I treat her like this. I guess I shouldn't expect her to sign the contract after this childish shitshow.

She catches up with me and walks in complete silence and can I blame her for that? We get in the car, both facing in the opposite direction. 

I fucked up everything.