Days in the life of a monk

Earliest day. Black spots in the Sun

Sitting on a hill, a strange-looking man named Memorable looks at the black spots in the Sun through dark glasses. Memorable likes to take with him dark glasses and through them to look at the black spots on the Sun, which, as it seems to him, indicates the imperfection of the picture of our star. The memorable one thinks that God made a mistake in creating a Central place in the landscape of the sky. Not far from the hill, in the rural hinterland is a monastery, where the Memorial and lives. Ordinary people often come to him and his brothers to get spiritual advice. This time his brother Sergius came up to the hill and began to talk to him about his strange behavior.

- Memorable, tell me, why do you look at the sun through the dark glasses?

- Sergius, answer me, why don't you look at the sun?

"Well, because your eyes hurt when you look at the sun.

"So your eyes can't look at the sun?"

"Of course not.

"In other words, your eyes are imperfect, unable to see the Sun?"

"Memorable, Yes.

- Sergius, I look at the sun through dark glasses, because my vision becomes perfect, able to withstand the light of the sun. Isn't it true that each of us strives for perfection in order to achieve what we want? However, to achieve perfection we are prevented by "black spots in the Sun".

"In other words, our souls are imperfect because they have 'dark spots'?"

"Sergius, that's right!

"I Need your help, by the way." It is necessary to bring several buckets of water.

"Sergius, of course!

They went to the well to fill the buckets with water, as Archimandrite Vitaly had told Sergius, and to carry them to the monastery.

Second day. A fatal case

   On this day, Archimandrite Vitaly instructed Memorable and Sergei to bring a bag of grain. They went to the village. When they came to the store, they took a bag of grain and stood in line at the checkout. In the queue, a man next to him spoke to the Memorial.

   – I was once a religious man.

   – Why have you changed?"

   "A fatal accident changed everything.

   – What happened to you?"

   – Something happened to me that I could not have foreseen. I hit my head hard against the wall. That headbutt against the wall changed my whole life. I was not aware of anything at that moment. It's like I disappeared for a moment and was reborn again. I was born a second time. What do I understand? I realized that I had become an atheist. After all, I have not found heaven and hell. I found only utter darkness. I realized that our faith is a fiction. All hopes of eternal life without regret are in the past. I grew up and didn't want to go back to the fantasy world. Is it better to live in illusions or face the truth? I chose the real world, despite its cruelty, but this world is a real reality, not a sick fantasy.

   – In any case, there is something beyond life. Must be.

   "There is nothing beyond life. For me, it's a combination of incongruous. There's nothing left of me. I will become a useless handful of decay. Even my children will not be a guarantee of my eternal life, because eventually my descendants will also disappear from the face of the earth. At the very least, an asteroid will fall to earth, and life will crumble like a house of cards.

   – Gloomy picture…

   – You shouldn't say that. Future death will seem to you a salvation from painful views of eternal life. As a result, you will discover the true landmarks in life. In other words, you will understand what is important and what is not worth paying attention to.

   – In this case about what the true benchmarks in question?

   "I'm talking about hedonistic landmarks. In other words, sex, food and favorite work. Meanwhile, my beliefs lead to an awareness of responsibility to future children. Therefore, we need to leave the future generation no place to dump, and save them a worthy place for development. First of all, in order to give future generations the time to create the technologies necessary to build spaceships, to find a new haven for humanity. Your faith leads to stagnation, it does not care about our body, and you do not see the meaning in our mortal world. Your meaning is to be saved. Your meaning is the pipe dream of a terminally ill person. My meaning is a real-tangible possible result that can be achieved despite the inevitable deadly end of human history.

   – I am always there, I am present. I cannot but be, because there is always a moment of my existence in any abstract utterance about the death of the soul, though you do not understand it. You don't understand because you're afraid of losing your meaning. You dissemble that you become responsible for what is happening. On the contrary, you run away from the responsibility for the future eternal life, not subject to you, because it must be earned by overcoming yourself. What do you need to overcome to have sex, eat and work?

   At this point the conversation stopped, as the queue for the cashier reached Sergius and Memorable, so they paid the cashier and went back to the monastery. Memorable thought that atheists have some demonic desire to trample the faith, and then they are ready to hang on his chest deserved orders.

Third day. Brahman

   In his youth, Memorable was interested in Hinduism and he had a chance to communicate with an adherent of this philosophy. He was repelled by this philosophy because it has no happy ending. He learned from the adept that we are not merely in illusion, we are illusion. When the Aide along with Sergius was sitting on a hill, the Memorial decided to tell about the memorable interactions with the adept. Memorable began his narration to Sergius about what he told this adept:

   "God is asleep. He dreams of us going to the shops, of us crying in the still night. When we rejoice in the smile of a child, God rejoices with us. When we hurt someone, God gets upset. Year after year. Universes die and are born again. We die and are born again. Planets move around the sun. On the ground, cars are moving on the highway. At night, from space, ISS astronauts look at the lights of cities. Stars fill the cosmic void with light. People seek to know the mystery of life and death. People are afraid of losing something and want to gain something. We communicate so we don't feel alone. We want to be needed by someone. But none of this matters, because we are only praying to God. When God wakes up, everything will disappear as if we never existed – " the Hindu said in a peaceful voice.

   "I understand." I don't know how to feel about it. I don't want to cry or be angry. I don't want to believe it.

   – We have only to come to terms with that truth.

   When Memorable told Sergius about this conversation, Sergius in a joking manner said Memorable:

   - Memorable, when me say, that I not exist, then I have arises desire to good whack interlocutor, to the sensed my blow. No longer would he doubt the existence of pain. He would immediately have the question of who had hit him. From what the will conclude, that there is the, who his hit.

   "Sergius, it is much more difficult, because it was the Brahman who allowed your interlocutor to feel the pain.

   - Memorable, Ah then looms any hopeless picture underway. I see no reason to believe in her.

   "That's just it!

   "Well, we'd better go on the errand of Archimandrite Vitaly, I have no doubt about the existence of This errand."

   – Consonant. It's high time we started cooking dinner.

   When Memorable together with Sergey returned from a hill, they undertook preparation of a dinner. When Memorable and Sergey prepared a dinner, they called brothers for a table. As usual, there was a Lenten rustic meal on the table: crumpled potatoes, vegetables, soup and homemade kvass. Memorable and Sergey sat down at the table, and Archimandrite Vitaly spoke before dinner:

   "Brothers, sins are like weeds in the garden. If we do not watch the harvest of the garden, the weeds will destroy the crop. Therefore, we need to monitor the purity of our spiritual life with you, otherwise sins will prevent the salvation and ascent of the soul to the Kingdom of heaven.

   - Vitaly, you are right! Today we need to do the garden, and the weeds have grown!  one of the Brothers said with a grin.

   "Brother, you're the one to do it!" - , with serious the face of said Archimandrite Vitaly.

   - Here tell brothers, we all grow vegetables, potatoes and a garden, and how many it is necessary to grow soul that it got to Paradise? - , said brother Igor.

   "It is God's decision, for the garden grows when the weather is favorable and the gardener is diligent in keeping the garden. Thanks to the weather and the gardener, the garden begins to bloom and gives a rich harvest. Also, God helps Mature souls to then take them to his home, - said Archimandrite Vitaly.

   Memorable thought that Archimandrite Vitaly very correctly draws an analogy between natural phenomena and our daily spiritual work.

Fourth day. Destination

   On this day, in the late evening Memorable together with Sergey was walking around the monastery. Memorable decided to tell Sergei about the conclusions to which he came in his youth. In his youth, it seemed to him that his life was over, and it had no meaning, but Christ filled his life with meaning.

   "Sergius, Perhaps this is the meaning I was looking for?" Is this what we are looking for? On my way I threw myself in different directions, but I did not realize that I needed this way. What we need is right under our noses. How stupid I was! Although I was still immeasurably stupid. I wanted everything, and I lost everything overnight when I found my destiny. Some deny their possible destination, and some believe that they will find it. I found him, but I didn't become a great writer or a recognized scientist or a rich man. I became nobody, but at the same time I became everything. The path brought me happiness. It's like I found the promised land and touched it. I saluted this land and walked on it, not looking back and rushing forward, because the path does not stop. There is always a way.

   "Memorable, You're right. Christ is the way, and Christ is revealed to us on the way. We think that there is nothing bright in this world. The world presents us with surprises, because through it Christ, like sunlight, breaks into the heart of the mourner, who was swallowed up by darkness.

   "Sergius, I sought Christ, and I found him on the way. The path showed me what I was meant for. I am destined to live in Christ so that through Christ I can carry the fire of grace in my heart. I was blind, but I saw when I entered the temple and saw Christ.

   Memorable thought, that all path is beautiful and long. On it we meet new friends, talk to them and leave them in your memory. To understand what we want to get out of this path, we need to get on it and follow it. We'll find what we're looking for. We will definitely get to the end.

   After a walk around the monastery, Memorable and Sergius decided to go to their rooms. As usually, before nightmare Memorable very likes to talk with God:

   I know you are. You were always there for better or worse. You didn't move a step. You endured when I complained about you. You were happy when I was happy. Still, I can't understand why we have to suffer so much. Is it so that we can enter your Kingdom? What is behind the last line of life? It's hard for me to imagine. Maybe You don't exist? Are you just an illusion of the mind? Every breath I take brings me closer to death and meeting you. Maybe we'll meet you. What will you tell me when I meet you? What can I tell you? Of course you will condemn me for what I have done and for what I have not done along the way. You will be right because you are just. Why do we fear the inevitable? Where are we in such a hurry every single day? It's like we're trying to find something important. But we find only ordinary things around us. Someone does not cope with everyday reality and goes crazy. Someone begins to believe that you can fix life. How foolish to believe that! How silly of me to complain about you! We will not be able to fix anything, because we are grains of sand on the seashore. Every night I love to look at the sky to enjoy the Majesty of your creation. I see the milky way in the sky. Sometimes he hides behind the night clouds. It's like we're looking for a perfect painting by some artist, but we don't notice your painting. This picture was always near-before his eyes. How hard it is for me! How difficult it is to leave this world full of love and suffering!

Fifth day. Paradise

   On this day, Archimandrite Vitaly gave instructions to the Memorable. Archimandrite Vitaly ordered Memorable to go to the store to buy some household tools. Archimandrite Vitaly decided to replace the old hammer and broken saw to continue the reconstruction of the monastery. Memorable agreed to fulfill the order of Archimandrite Vitaly and went to the store. On the way to the store Memorable did not forget to take with him the dark glasses to see the black spots in the sun again. The sun greeted Memorable, and birches sheltered him from the scorching rays. The path had long been beaten by pedestrians. Memorable walked and thought about why Adam and eve had lost their place in Paradise. Why did they exchange God's grace for Satan's sweet promises? Was the sweet poison of Satan sweeter to them? Apparently, us not destined to to live in Paradise, - disappointedly whispered Memorable. Memorable was approaching the village, where there was a shop. His thoughts of original sin left him, and he looked upon the passers - by as descendants of the first men in our "Eden." It seems to him that people still have a chance, and Christ gave it to us. SIV, we only need to open your soul to grace, and she will come to the soul, as the long-awaited water will flow into the mouth. When memorable came to the store and stood in line, then in the queue he heard a conversation between two strangers about the possibility of the existence of Paradise on earth:

   "Constantine, do you think we can build a Paradise on earth?"

   - Alexander, Communists wanted to build "Paradise on earth". Christians are waiting for the second coming. Buddhists worship Buddha to help them become enlightened. All these people are United by one desire-the desire to achieve the impossible. We believe in utopia because we run from reality. We do not want to accept a cruel and meaningless reality.

   "Constantine, Why don't we accept reality?"

   - Alexander, at the expense of what our world is constructed? Of course, the world is not built at the expense of money. The world is built on the bones of our ancestors. If you live comfortably, it's only because someone is suffering. Glory be to God if it be not you, for you will not take the place of the afflicted.

   Memorable thought of Constantine – - Another Darwinist! Thank God, though not another "false prophet"! what do they call them now? In! Remembered! Futurists ... Instead of them thinking about the present, about their deeds, as usual, they start talking about the future. The future is known only to God, and he does not like to talk about it. After standing in line and paying the cashier, Memorable took the tools and went back to the monastery. Memorable decided that Constantine was right in some way, despite his mockery of him. After all, you can not build a Paradise on earth. Memorable concluded that Paradise is possible only in the Kingdom of heaven. But to be in it, we need to think about our present deeds, not the future.

   When the Memorable left the village and went down the road to the monastery, a young man walked awkwardly towards him. He went to the Memorial and asked:

   – You don't need help?"

   "No, thank you." I'll manage.

   "What's your name?"

   "Call me Memorable."

   – They call me ' the Weirdo.' Although my friends and acquaintances are all eccentric.

   – Why are you called a weirdo?"  Memorable grinned.

   – The fact is, I have a thought that haunts me. Perhaps it is not even a thought, but a strange feeling.

   – What is this strange feeling? – interested in Memorabilia.

   – I'll try to explain. Every day I feel like I'm being left unsaid. It's like they didn't tell us something. Maybe they didn't tell us what they could have told us, but for some reason they didn't. As if we don't notice important information. Maybe this information was deliberately withheld from us. However, one thing is clear-we live in total uncertainty. Like puppets, we walk on the leash of our masters. As blind people, we are directed to places we would never want to go.

   "Geez, I don't quite understand you.

   – Into the point. I don't understand either, so it's hard for me to convey this strange feeling to you. Perhaps no one understands. There are those who think he knows something. There are those who know nothing like me. In any case, they are mistaken.

   – Then you, too, are mistaken about your strange feeling.

   "Of course I'm wrong about him. However, I am not mistaken in one thing-it is.

   "Questionable logic. That feeling may not be there. Maybe you think it is.

   – It may seem to me, but it does seem to me, doesn't it?"

   – True.

   – You can't get rid of that feeling. It's like it's following you. However, this feeling is sobering, helps to understand that we do not understand everything in this world. If we understand anything at all.

   Memorable thought about what the Weirdo had told him. After all, it's really as if we were left to fend for themselves and not given a guiding map. Maybe we, like blind kittens, we do not see, where we go, why we go and why we go?

   When all Affairs were made and day ended, then in the ensuing night tired Memorable not slept and watched on the sky. He began to think about our world – how amazing it is that so many worlds are still unexplored. Perhaps in one of them there are people who face the same problems as we do. It's like we can touch the sky if we reach out to the stars. The bottomless and cold space as if invites to look at a theatrical scene of heavenly archipelagos from where meteorites fall to the earth. Meteorites, as celestial messengers from other galaxies, can tell us about the past of their refuge. We must not forget about the first earth satellite, which was launched by the Soviet Union, this satellite paved the way for future earth satellites, which still fly around the earth. Christ, too, was a pioneer who brought the truth to us through his death and resurrection. He was to open the doors of his Kingdom to the world. The first step into the Kingdom is always a step into the unknown. I don't know his Kingdom yet, but I'm sure it's like when you first saw the night sky. I will take this discovery with me to eternity.

Sixth day. Internet user

   On this day, on behalf of Archimandrite Vitaly Memorable was in the village to buy in the store some ingredients for baking a pie. Memorable passed by the computer club, where near the club he heard a short conversation between two programmers. The dialogue began with a long monologue of the interlocutor:

   – We live in a computer program, as users of Internet networks. We are connected to life as we are now connected to the social network. The worst nightmare of the film Is not just a fiction of creative thought, but a reflection of the hidden true reality not shown in this film. We are victims of a biomatrix in which we are not batteries but potential fodder for living organisms. All our ideals are protective mechanisms to hide this true purpose of our lives. The psyche is not able to withstand this truth, so we hide behind an illusory immortality. We are not merely mortal, we are a meaningless living mass, vainly seeking to comprehend the meaning of our existence. We destroy ourselves, unaware of the fragility of life. What do we want? We want to believe in a beautiful fairy tale to drink it like a pill and feel the narcotic euphoria. All our attempts to explain the world hit a transcendental wall. We are looking for a prophet to reveal the truth to us. We deny the hallucinatory nightmare we call reality. Only a true existential suicide can accept this reality and inevitably leave it. The rest are destined only to stay in the attraction, believing in its existence. We are the living dead, already in the grave. We are already dead, we are not.

   – You are too categorical, though your theory cannot be disproved because it cannot be verified. So I will disappoint you – these beliefs are as much fiction as the Bible.

   – This fiction is more real and terrible than you can imagine.

   – Well, I don't think it's any worse than Christian hell.

   Memorable thought with a smile on his face, - no Wonder they think in this way and not in another, as the profession deforms a person. However, people with this profession do not always meet such ideas. A new era gives birth to new beliefs. Once upon a time in a past era, people thought of their heads as pumpkins. Now our heads are living supercomputers. It is terrible to imagine what the future holds for us.

   When Memorable bought the ingredients and left the store, he saw that the house two young people were sitting on a bench and arguing with each other. The street debates of young politicians were not hard to hear. This time they were rude to each other. Memorable decided to listen to them. They were talking about society. They wanted to convince each other that they were right:

   – Can you Express your thoughts about the society? What's it? What is its purpose?

   – My thoughts about society are that society, as a factory, creates a product, as a person. We are all consumers of the socio-economic machine, because we are created in its image and likeness, so we are in some way small socio-economic machines, - proudly said one of the interlocutors.

   – Capital.

   – I don't understand why you said that word."

   – It's worse than I thought." You don't even have any associations. You seem to have been brainwashed by the socio-economic machine. Have you even bothered to find out the author of your thoughts?

   – What the author of my thoughts I did not bother to find out?

   – Now you tell me, child of the Soviet perestroika! What are your thoughts?! Your thoughts are a retelling of what you were told on TV! Your thoughts are what the teacher at the University told you! Your thoughts are what your parents instilled in you, your thoughts are what you were taught in school! Your thoughts are what your authority said! To write your thought, you have to puff like a miner in a mine. I couldn't even see your thoughts in the microscope! Are you still going to tell me about your thoughts?! Great minds have been writing for years to convey their message to the masses. I think you jumped to the conclusion that your words are your thoughts. At your leisure, you read the thoughts of Karl Marx about society, perhaps you will find some similarities "with their thoughts" - said irritably interlocutor.

   – Yes, you go in with your thoughts in the bath!

   "I wish you to keep your thoughts to yourself."

   The two men quarreled and parted, and Memorable pondered what they had said to each other. Memorable thought, - After all, we think about something this way, and not otherwise, because we have been taught to think about something or we have learned to think about something? Maybe both? Not only do we think of something according to a given standard, do we think only because we have a pattern? Perhaps, without a sample we will not be able to think? Maybe our thoughts started this socio-economic machine, to use the words of Karl Marx? Okay, empty! It's pointless to think!

   When the Aide's almost out of the village on the road to the monastery, we saw that near another house two men sat on a bench and discussed the current problems after the work done. One of them named Vasily spoke to his interlocutor Nikolai.

   - Nikolai, We live in poverty because the state does not care about its citizens. Pensions, disability benefits and wages are not enough for a decent life. Most of the state's profits are stolen by officials. We're penniless. People with power neglect the needs and welfare of ordinary people in order to enrich themselves. Some of them neglect the people to leave their mark on the history of mankind.

   - Vasily, Russia is its unshakable and proud history. Without understanding its roots, it is impossible to understand the actions of the top authorities. Power is the face of Russia. Power does not just determine the shape of the economy, power Is the economy. It decides what economic course we will follow and what we will sacrifice for the sake of the historical glory of the country's leadership. Power to lead the minds of society, she says, about what we are going to talk about today. Power is the pinnacle of justice, the court that determines the fate of an individual. Power is not just responsible for what we can and cannot do, but power is also morality. It creates rules of behavior in social reality. Power creates the choice of power, so it has unlimited possibilities. The government promotes and approves the cultural values of the people. Your opinion is not just not taken into account and is not taken into account, and the power creates your opinion, so it knows your opinion, and accordingly, knows your expectations and needs. The government knows where you will spend your money, because you are a product of the capitalist machine. Do you think you can choose? The choice comes down to what's in the shop window. You do not choose the President, because the leader of the state is known in advance, because the authorities know the historical standards for a person to gain power. You complain to the authorities, but you do not realize that you are complaining to the executioner who is executing his sentence. Your fate is neither predetermined nor a combination of circumstances, Your fate is the historical outcome of this era. You will die in oblivion of the historical production of human material, and its leader will remain in the memory of the historical present segment, which produces the right amount of human material to perform the tasks set by the leader of the country.

   - Nikolay, You hid behind the concept about the power and don't want to act to change a situation in the life and life of the country. Without its citizens, the leader of the state will not be able to change the course of real history, and even more so the course of life of an individual. For example, Vladimir Vladimirovich has already been able to improve the social welfare of citizens with our help, and we are not ashamed to see him in the political arena of the world. He accomplished a historic feat by annexing the territory of Crimea to our state. He would not have been able to create this historic event without his citizens.

   - Vasily, the Shepherd looks after his flock of sheep and protects them from predators. Sheep worship their master and listen to his instructions. However, the herd does not understand that the shepherd is a predator himself. Sooner or later, the sheep will be on the dining table of the owner of the house. First of all, Putin is thinking about what will be on his dinner table. You blindly believe in a miracle-in the father of the king, who will deal with the problems of the Empire, but miracles do not happen, because we live in the real world, and in it, as a rule, most people live in poverty, and a minority has all the resources of the world.

   - Nikolay, You know how to correct, this situation of injustice?

   "Vasily, I think it's impossible. No one can correct human nature and change the laws of the physical and biological world.

   - Nikolai, Then you engage in demagoguery.

   - Vasily, We are all engaged in demagogy. It is more correct not to talk at all-useless business.

   Memorable thought – " what can we really do?" After all, man is weak, he can not change the earthly life, and it is not necessary, because he needs to change his life to be in the Kingdom of heaven.

Seventh day. So spoke Memorable

   Memorable and Sergey went to landing and decided to collect firewood to kindle a fire. When they had kindled the fire, Sergius looked attentively at the fire, and Memorable lay down on the ground to look at the sky. Looking at the stars, Memorable mentally spoke to God:

   "Is God dead?" No, God is alive! God, like the sun, perishes at night, and in the morning God is reborn again. So in man, when sin settles in the soul of man, God dies. When grace settles in a person's soul, God is reborn. His gaze penetrates the Sun. His word is heard in the mountains. His grief is felt in the silence of the funeral. Immortal light reaches the far corners of the universe. The immortal kiss of a woman reaches the forehead of a child. Candles are lit in the Temple when people come to see your face. You hear the incessant prayers for salvation! When will the end of time come? When will your angels sound? When will the dead rise? We await your arrival! We await your judgment! We will enter the heavenly city with you! We are made of the dust of the earth, and we will go into the earth. What don't we know, what do you know? We're all sick! We want to get well! Your spirit heals our souls! Could we be wrong? Maybe you were wrong. Maybe we misunderstood you. We wanted to understand your words, but we could not master your divine word. We wanted to build your Kingdom on your land, but we couldn't build it. You hear my plea as a child's mother hears her plea. Maybe I need to go out of your temple? Maybe I need to get in the earth temple? Wait! You're right! We're in a hurry to see you. We're not ready for you. Let us rejoice in death! Let's let the Holy spirit into our soul! You don't drive the homeless away! You listen to the words of the patient! You grant requests! You forgive sin! Are you powerful?! You hide your deeds and don't show them to people. You're silent because you've already said it. You're not crying because you've seen tears! We are fighting for life, but we are not fighting for the salvation of the soul. We eat the sweet fruit of life, but we do not mourn it. Your words sound on the shores of the ocean. Your sun lights up the chasm. Your bread is eaten in every house. They drink your wine when they want to quench their thirst. You are life because you enjoyed life. You are the truth because you have told it to people. I fear death because I'm afraid of your truth. I fear life because we have tasted the forbidden fruit. I'm afraid of your love because I don't deserve it. Forgive my weakness. I'm sorry I'm not listening to you.

   After, as Memorable talked with God, he evoked the history from his life and decided to to tell its Sergei:

   – Sergiy, a Conversation with a Kabbalist will lead to psychosis! - said Memorable, remembering a conversation with an adept of this philosophy, - That's who taught me to talk to myself! Since the situation is conducive to storytelling, I will tell you this conversation with him. Sergius is already used to that Memorable loves to tell stories about his past life.

   "I noticed you were talking to yourself," said the Memorable one.

   "No, not with me. I'm talking to God.

   "Is he answering?"

   – Certainly. He is a very good conversationalist. He does not interrupt, listens attentively and after a while answers when he sees fit.

   – What does he say?"

   "Well, it depends on the question, but it's not usually verbose. However, you never know what he will say.

   – Do you hear a voice?" Or do you feel something? Or do you see something?

   "Everything you've listed."

   – I don't see how that's possible. How can you talk to him?

   "It's simple enough. When we walk through the streets of the city, we see flying birds, restaurants, architectural buildings, forest parks and historical monuments, but we do not notice that we are surrounded by signs. God sends us a simple message. How do we read these messages? They can be heard from the lips of passers-by. They can be seen from the situations we observe. They can be felt through the touch of the surrounding world. It seems to us that the world is knocking on us, but through the world God is knocking on us. After all, everything that surrounds us is the creation of God, and the world is created through the divine language. When we communicate with God, he hears us, because the world hears us. The world answers us because God speaks. His words reach our hearts very quickly and we feel his words through the warm South wind, sunlight and cool ocean. He accompanies us when we walk around our hometown. God leaves traces behind him when he talks to us. We need to be attentive to what is happening around us, and we will definitely get his answer.

   – In other words, all you see, hear, and feel is God speaking to you when you ask him anything?"

   – Into the point.

   – You could be wrong."

   "No, because God will find the most convenient way to convey the message to you."

   After, as Memorable told this dialogue, Sergius with irony said, that in our life can be to meet with any " evil spirits."

Eighth day. Service in the Temple

   On this day in the village in the service at the Church Memorial assisted the priest, and he listened to the conversation between by altar boy and a neophyte about faith in God. The neophyte began:

   – I believe in God and consider myself a Christian.

   – You can think of yourself as anything. Do you take communion, confess, and come at least on the day of Easter – the day of the resurrection of Christ? When was the last time you did these things?

   – What's that got to do with it?" Isn't it important that I keep the commandments?

   – If you do not eat the body of Christ, do not drink the blood of Christ, do not confess to the priest and do not go to Christian festivals, then you are not a Christian. It is these commandments, this way of life that makes a Christian a Christian. It is not enough to keep the ten commandments, and it is impossible not to break them, because even mental violations of these commandments are violations of the commandments of Christ, so our rituals are a kind of" insurance " for getting into the Kingdom of heaven.

   – In that case, not everyone can get into the Kingdom of heaven.

   – Certainly. However, God alone knows who will enter his Kingdom and who will not. Maybe all you will get. Maybe not everyone will get in. We have no right to decide for God who can get into his abode, and who is honored to go to hell.

   – Doesn't the fact that I believe in God make me a Christian?"

   – Nary. You are a believer, but you are not a Christian. It's like saying you're on a diet but you're not following it.

   "A Christian helps the homeless and the hungry?"

   "Of course, a true Christian will help the homeless and the starving.

   – Consonant. Then you answer. The money donated to the Church goes to help the homeless and the hungry?

   - No, the money does not go to help the homeless and hungry. Money is spent on the restoration of temples, churches, monasteries, cathedrals, as well as on their construction and on the salaries of the people of the Church.

   – Then you are not Christians.

   "Be careful what you say." We give people the opportunity to help the Church of Christ. So that everyone can be in His Kingdom.

   – In other words, you're making a contract." So to speak, Modern spiritual business.

   – Well. It is time for us to stop the dialogue. This conversation has gone beyond the pale.

   "Good-bye!"

   – with God.

   Memorable is not the first time faced with people's misunderstanding of the internal cuisine of the Church and the citizen's ignorance of the history of the country. Memorable thought that everyone wants to see the vices and shortcomings in the life of a Christian, but people do not see their vices and shortcomings. Proudly everyone wants to put himself above the Church, not understanding what his pride will cost a person. Instead of thinking about your salvation and your life, everyone thinks and judges the life of another person.

Ninth day. The Modern Gulag

   In this day Memorable was chopping wood, and in this moment to him licked his brother Igor. The first to speak, Igor:

   – Memorable, to help you?

   - Igor, no, thank you! I can handle it.

    Memorial, have You read the work of Alexander Solzhenitsyn's "the Gulag Archipelago"? In my opinion, a very instructive historical information about the activities of the authorities of the Soviet Union in relation to some of its citizens who do not agree with its political regime and suffered because of it.

   - Igor, Yes, I read, but I think that since then nothing has changed, we make the same mistakes of the past.

   - Memorable, what mistakes of the past do we repeat again?

   - Igor, we have our own "modern Gulag". No, now we are not sent to the mines in Siberia. It's much worse, because under the guise of virtue, we are sent to a "mental hospital". Do you think they want to cure us of their "demons"? No! They want to isolate us, as in the USSR, like deserters, from an enlightened and healthy society. But the question is,– where there are madmen? They appear in an enlightened society! No, they are not afraid of us and do not want to help us, because modern hospital wardens know that we cannot be helped. As homeless people, because of the uselessness we were thrown out on the outskirts of the city, as we are not curable. At least for now. They will surely find a cure and announce to the world about the saving find, but do we want to be cured? We will not be asked and kindly asked to enter an ambulance. As criminals, we will be twisted and sent to the" modern Gulag " for correctional work. At this point, it doesn't matter what you say or don't say about something. You will be branded, and every step you take and every word you say will be seen through the lens of disease. We are ignored and shunned as if we had contracted the plague. We are a modern medieval plague, which is avoided, God forbid to catch it. Just in case – it is better to stay away from us! So to speak, precautions of modern "highly moral" society. We are encouraged by the fact that now we do not burn and do not wear chains. That is to say, in the face of change, look! Who's to blame? This question is a modern taboo. This cannot be said, because usually the blame is blamed on the victim. They say you led the wrong lifestyle and bad genetics and you paid the price, but no one will blame society! Someone will ask-What does society have to do with it? Despite the fact that society has grown "modern Mowgli". It found him a name and figured out what language to communicate with him. First of all, it is easier for them to speak the language of pills. This is a less energy-consuming way. Moreover, this is a very good way to earn a comfortable life. However, despite the successful attempts of society to justify its modern repression, people with the diagnosis have survived to the present day, and something tells me that they will always exist. This is not the merit of modern health care.

   - Memorable, What to do?

   - Igor, first of all, we should care about the salvation of our souls. However, it is not necessary to look for fair justice on earth. We can only hope that our descendants will live in a different society with different landmarks. Okay, I think I got the job done. We must go to the monastery.

   Igor thought over those, that said Memorable. It seemed to him that we lived in a world with an upside-down wrapper. In 1937 there were repressions of Stalin, now other modern methods of repression, and the big question is which ones are worse. Is it better to lose your life or to be a social outcast all your life?

Tenth day. Lucifer

   On this day the Aide was sitting on a bench and rested from the work done daily work. Archimandrite Vitaly approached the Memorial and asked him:

   "Memorable, what sin do you think God dislikes most?"

   – Vitaly, I think, that most unloved of God a sin is a sin of Lucifer, Pride!

   "Memorable, You're right. Sometimes I think of Lucifer's role in the life of a Christian.

   - Vitaly, I think that God, as if the father, was angry at the beloved angel because of his treachery. This is a story of betrayal.

   - Memorable, I Agree with you.

   Having finished this short conversation with the Memorable, Archimandrite Vitaly went about his business. Memorable still thinking about this story of betrayal. Memorable as if admired Lucifer and as if began to speak with him – - Oh, Lucifer! Your majestic white wings and your beauty are disfigured by your deed! Holding your sword in your hand, you gathered your army to defeat God. It's as if you didn't know you were leading your army to destruction. Lucifer, did you want to bring God to his knees and rule the heavens and the earth?! Oh, you proud angel! What have you whispered to your brethren to tempt them to your side? What did you promise them?" You didn't just want immense power, you wanted the power of God. Oh, you're crazy! It's like you knew how to kill a God. God gathered his army led by Michael to reason with his beloved child, but you did not want to put up with his Kingdom and gave battle to Michael's army. Maybe you knew you were going to lose this battle, but then why did you fight? Were you blinded by your desire? You lost the battle and you were sent to hell. But the battle is not over! You whisper to a weak man your sweet talk of a comfortable life in return for immortal service to you. Are you looking for weak souls to win another battle – the battle for the human soul. You want to give man what God could not give. People want money. People are willing to trade their immortality for a security. You are weak, Lucifer, because you despise life. In you there is no love, in you there is never-ending anger from-for envy to people.

Eleventh day. Patriarch of all Russia

   This Memorial day once again came to the village, to the store to buy some ingredients for lunch. When Memorable bought the right products, he left the store and heard a drunkard Volodya. His words about the Patriarch of all Russia were heard even at the other end of the village. He's still looking for justice in this world:

   – I do not care what the Apostle Paul said, and what Patriarch Kirill says. Absolutely nothing that they said and say, Christ never said. In their mouths we hear not the words of Christ, but their distorted interpretation of his words. Isn't it funny what these pastors say to their flock? It's not just heresy, it's a crime against God.

   "Volodya, You are too harsh. They are fully aware that they are engaged in the interpretation of the New Testament.

   "Am I too harsh?" I do not intend to tolerate that Patriarch Kirill is only engaged in PR of his person and cashing in on charity instead of helping disadvantaged and sick people. Where is their Christian compassion? Where had it gone? Do you even know what kind of mansion was built for Patriarch Kirill? Something tells me that not a small amount of money was invested in the construction of the mansion. Everyone in this Russian Christian gang thinks about how to fill his pocket and taste pork and vegetables for lunch. I think they don't even fast.

   – Volodya, You are mistaken, because the Church allocates funds for the construction of hospitals, for the maintenance of hospitals and to help the homeless with their future employment.

   "They don't excrete anything, they brainwash you." You draw a beautiful picture, and you believe in it like naive children.

   - Volodya, Well, you are a supporter of conspiracy theories, as I understand.

   – I'm a stickler for common sense and discovery, because this gang doesn't even hide the loot.

   The aide thinks that Vladimir, like many others, are victims of the present time and no longer distinguish truth from lies. They were simply left, as if on a desert island, to live in their fictional world, in which everything is impregnated with the myths of today's civilization.

Twelfth day. Generation of oil addiction

   In this day Memorable decided to to tell another history from his life Sergei. When Memorable studied at the Seminary, he managed to communicate with the Professor of theology about the past world crisis. The Professor was categorical in his arguments about the deplorable future of the world's countries and explained why we are waiting for an apocalyptic future.

   - Alexander Nikolaevich, somehow Russia managed to survive the global crisis?

   - Memorable, the oil needle helped us.

   - Alexander Nikolaevich, I don't understand you, if it is possible, tell in more detail.

   - Memorable, in our time, the blood of the economy of countries has turned black, because oil flows in their veins. Our geography is divided by the presence of state oil wells. The last generation of people are hooked on the oil needle. This generation of pain. It is in a drug-induced psychosis. What does humanity expect when the oil drug runs out? She's going to break down, and we're going to need a fix. We can't go back to our old state of health without a doctor. We'll need professional psychiatric help. The wards will be filled with patients from the oil needle. We are passionate about how much oil reserves we have. We're not interested in how people feel. We are interested in the exchange rate of the dollar and the Euro, and how much is a barrel of oil. Slavery was replaced by democracy, democracy was replaced by slavery. Social forms vary depending on the sources of income. As long as we can provide supplies of narcotic raw materials to maintain the existence of democracy, so the Russian economy survived the global crisis.

   - Alexander Nikolaevich, what is the most favorable forecast for the world economy?

   - Memorable, Perhaps, we will replace the oil drug with another drug. For example, some alternative raw materials. But we will not avoid socio-economic shocks. All these symptoms have long been noticed in the New Testament, to be more precise, in the revelation of John. Everything moves according to the divine plan.

   - Alexander Nikolaevich, than as a result all will end?

   "Memorable, I think we will recover from the drug addiction of the oil needle, because Christ will heal our crippled souls with his word. It is enough to trust his healing and a miracle will happen.

   Sergei thought over what Memorable had told him. He decided that the Professor was very wise and wittily described the biblical prophecies through the future economic crisis that would inevitably come in the history of mankind. Sergius said Memorable – we are waiting for Christ to save us, but we do not understand – to meet him, we must be ready. We need to go through trials to see the greatness of Christ, so that we are not blinded by his bright light.

Thirteenth day. Paranoia

   On this day, Memorable went to Moscow to see the relics of St. Nicholas, which for the first time in a Millennium were in Russia. He decided to take the train. On the train, in a compartment of a Memorial met with his untidy and annoying neighbor:

   "Here you live in your monastery, hidden from the social web, and you know nothing," said a neighbor to the Memorable one.

   – What don't we know?"  Memorable asked.

   – I'll tell you a secret-we've all been under the hood for a long time. There's a case for everyone. For each of us is a virtual surveillance under the pretext of preventing terrorist acts. Intelligence agencies are looking at millions of social media correspondences for information of interest to them. The whole world does not even know what level of intelligence about the lives of people. Moreover, there is a huge database that is constantly updated with new information about people. There is dirt on everyone to avoid the leakage of important information and to compromise anyone who poses a threat to the state. We live in a crazy world where everyone is paranoid, but I'm not crazy. I know what I'm talking about. I am sure that the well-known former CIA officer Snowden will confirm the above!

   – Well, then, I'm not in danger of falling under their radar, since I don't use the Internet."

   – You are wrong, because you were born in society, so health care knows when you were born, what diseases you suffer and where you live.

   – What does it do for them?" I don't see it as a problem.

   - Control over you because they know how to influence your decision based on your health data. If they need to, they can label you by getting rid of your opinion.

   – To be honest, I don't care what anyone thinks or thinks about me. The main thing for me is to live according to the commandments of Christ and meet him at his judgment over me, and the rest is not important.

   – You will speak differently if your secrets and illnesses are known to like-minded people. You will lose your position in society. You will be discredited and you will not be able to get your face back.

   "It's all earthly; I don't care much about such things. You must understand that I am a Christian, I am not interested in what I can lose on this sinful earth, for me the main thing is that I can take with me into eternity.

   "All right, I'll leave you alone. But don't forget – we're being watched!

   "Let them watch!" It is necessary to someone to do this job-ironically said the Aide.

   Memorable lay down on the side and instantly fell asleep. Tomorrow he will see Moscow, and he will have to stand a huge queue to see the relics of St. Nicholas. Such an event is not seen every day, if at all it is possible to see it more than once.

Fourteenth day. Moscow

   When Memorable arrived in Moscow, he thought, - How all the same you are beautiful! No wonder our ancestors shed their blood to defend our city for the sake of future descendants! I love you, Moscow! How many sacred places do you hide?! You were built for great deeds! How many great writers have you given to the world! It is impossible not to see your heart-red square! How many were able to survive your walls! The enemy could not conquer you! You are open to the world, and you are open to Christ! Now I will be able to see the relics of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker! You took our Orthodox Shrine into your arms!

   Memorable rejoiced at his arrival in the capital and took the subway to get to the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. He knew that there was a long line to wait to touch the relics, but he did not care how much effort it would take to reach his goal. The main thing is that he participates in the Millennium event. He had not been in the subway for a long time, however, he noticed that many things had changed, but the people remained the same. He got off the subway and went to take his turn. Had a lot of people, and everyone wanted to see the relics. He approached one of the pilgrims and spoke to him.

   – Hello. I understand you've only just arrived.

    Yes, that's right. Although some people have not advanced very far in the queue, but they have been standing for several hours.

   – Can I ask you a strange question?"

   – Certainly.

   – Why did you come to touch the relics?" After all, nothing terrible will happen if you do not visit the temple and see the relics.

   – Why is every Christian obliged to visit the temple and touch the relics? In order to ask Nicholas to create a miracle. A Christian can wish for anything. The answer will reach the addressee. Will the desired be fulfilled? Everything will depend on the spiritual purity of the desired and the will of God. We came here to pray and be heard by our Saint, to pray to God for our salvation.

   – Isn't this rite of purification reminiscent of the beginning of a new stage in the life of an Orthodox Christian?

   – Certainly. In a way, it is. With us there is a certain inner renewal, as a stage of preparation for the afterlife.

   A few hours later a Memorial, together with his new friend waited in line and touched to the relics of Nicholas the Wonderworker. This moment was one of the main moments in the life of the Memorable. He is one of those who happened to be near his Saint. Every Christian has his own Saint, who in difficult moments of life helped us to stand and go further on the road to God. After the long-awaited event happened, Memorable decided to stay for one day in the capital. He decided to walk on it before going to Jerusalem. So he decided to stay at a hotel.

Fifteenth Day. Red square

   On this day, before leaving for Jerusalem, Memorable decided to visit the Red Square. While walking on red Square for the Memorial came a child of nine years. Apparently, the parents were distracted, and the child came to the Memorial. Probably, the child was attracted by non-standard and benevolent appearance of the Memorable.

   - Uncle, who built red square?

   – Didn't they tell you at school?" You have not yet been the subject of a Moskvovedeniye?

   – No, we weren't told at school, and we haven't had the subject yet.

   - Red square was built by Italian architects, and on the ninth of May 1945 on red square soldiers took the first victory parade.

   – In honor of what was the first victory parade?

    In honor of the fact that They returned home. They returned from the front. They came back from the war. They came back victorious. They have never been heroes, and they will not be. They had done more than heroism. They gave us life by sacrificing their lives. They imprinted their lives in eternity. When warplanes crashed to their deaths, we didn't know about it. When a soldier saved his comrade with his chest, we didn't see it. When a friend lost his friend, we didn't feel it. We will not be proud of the victory, because we will be proud of our people, who not only gave their lives for the future of the country, but he saved us from the great genocide. We would have lived in a completely different world if the pilot had not fired on the enemy fighter. If a soldier hadn't thrown a grenade at an enemy tank, we wouldn't have seen our mothers. If the mother hadn't let her sons go, we wouldn't have come home. On red square on the ninth of May 1945, They threw their caps up into the sky after they took Berlin and Marshal Zhukov announced the surrender of Nazi Germany.

We will not mourn the dead, because we will be silent and remember our Grandparents. They didn't survive the war, they survived death. They have conquered death. They wrote their immortal names in the history of mankind and until the end we will not forget them.

   "Thank you, uncle." I ran to my mom and dad and tell them about the day of victory!

   Memorable thought – That's why they won the second world war! So that we remember the war and enjoy a peaceful life, where the child could safely walk with his parents on red Square.

   Tomorrow, the Memorable will travel by plane to Tel Aviv, then take the bus to Jerusalem.

Sixteenth day. Jerusalem

   Memorable boarded a plane on the route "Moscow-Tel Aviv", and a few hours later he flew to the city of Tel Aviv, and then he got on the bus to Jerusalem. When the Memorable one came to Jerusalem, he exclaimed, " hail, city of Jerusalem!" How much you've been through! How many miracles you have brought to the world! Your gracious fire through the Church of the Holy tomb spread throughout the world, into the souls of believers! Your old temple holds on its pillars the memories of the past, immortalized by our Lord! Your old walls of the city, as scars, testify to the accomplished terrible times! Tell me, what lies ahead? New challenges? Or the long-awaited Paradise on earth? What lurks in your alleys? Is there a truth beyond your limits that wants to reveal itself? The truth of life? The truth of death? Jerusalem, you met Christ. You listened to his sermon! You saw how Jesus saved Magdalene from the farmers, throwing stones at her. You saw Jesus carry his cross to mount Calvary. Did you see Jesus resurrected. You have seen how many people come to the Church of the Holy tomb to pay tribute to his coming to the Holy land! You are afraid that the Holy fire will not be lit! You are afraid of adversity because you have seen it! You accepted the world! You accepted me!

Seventeenth day. Cross on the outskirts of Jerusalem

   On the outskirts of Jerusalem, on mount Calvary stood the fateful cross. On this cross Christ died. He released his spirit on the mountain to be resurrected in the Holy tomb on the third day. Pilgrims come to worship the Holy place and pay tribute to its suffering. Memorable visited the mountain and admired the desert surroundings. The memorable one could not but thank Christ. After all, he has done something more than a feat, he has done an act misunderstood by mankind. The memorable thought, How much have you learned?! The person is not able to pass your way. You were tortured and your wounds bled. The sun has dried your body. You were thirsty. You craved water. People threw stones at you. People were shouting abuse. You carried your cross to mount Calvary. First they didn't notice you, then they welcomed you, and then they disowned you. What did you want to tell them? Your word? They trampled on your word. The high priest did not understand your word. But your word has reached me through the ages. I came to mount Calvary to remember your word to your father. Even your father left you, he didn't say a word to you when you died on the cross, but you knew you'd say a new word. Your word was heard. Your word is written on immortal tablets. Your word will not be forgotten.

   One of the pilgrims approached the Memorial and asked why he was crying. At first the Memorable paid no attention to the pilgrim's words, and then, when the pilgrim repeated the words, he answered.

   – I weep because Christ did not weep. For Christ can do what man cannot. Man cannot help weeping over the history of The new Testament, because Christ was able to perform a miracle. Christ was able to conquer the flesh, Christ was able to return to life. Christ loved man, so he carried his cross to mount Calvary.

   – You are a man of deep faith, you are right that Christ did the impossible, he saved a sinking ship. He sacrificed his life that we might live – " said the enthusiastic pilgrim to the Memorable.

   – I don't know, I can't understand how a man deserves the love of Christ. After all, he gratuitously gave the most expensive, and people spat him in footprint, when he bore its used on mountain Golgotha, - with bewilderment said Memorable.

   "Christ knew what was coming, and he did not run away from his future. He accepted death, and death shook from the words of Christ, – happily said the pilgrim.

   Memorable stood for a while on mount Calvary, and then decided to go to a rented apartment. He was relieved and happy to have visited the sacred mountain. Tomorrow he will have a new day. Tomorrow he will visit the Holy sepulchre to see the place of his resurrection.

Eighteenth day. Ascension

   At night the sun is not visible in the sky, but we know that the sun has not disappeared, it lives and shines. So is God, he is not visible to our eyes, but he, like the sun, exists, lives and shines. Early in the morning with the first rays of the sun Memorable decided to go to the Holy sepulchre. The sun seemed to rise from the darkness, and the world began to Wake up. The birds are already singing, and there are hardly any people in the streets. The eyes can already see the way to the place of Christ's resurrection. Family Nusaiba ready to open the entrance to the temple, and Memorabilia ready to go into it. Memorial approached the two large arches of the Church of the Holy sepulchre. Standing near the temple, the Memorable thought, - Here it is! Here is the luminary of mankind! Christ is risen! Every day people come to you as on the day of your resurrection Magdalene came to you. What did she see? She saw not just the son of his mother and teacher, but she saw God in the flesh! She saw not simply miracle, and victory over death! The mind could not understand your appearance! Heart feared the bright robes! You wouldn't let Mary Magdalene touch you because You were afraid to frighten her weak human mind. Then You rejoiced to your disciples, and they were afraid of your second coming! Your body shone, but not blinded eyes! You were there in the day of sorrow, and you were there in the day of joy! Why did you come to them? You have come to soothe a grieving heart! You opened the gates to the Kingdom of heaven to give hope to a weak man! You have come to forgive the evil you have done! You knew they didn't know what they were doing! Now we know that you will be with us until the end of time! You will not turn away from us and will gladly accept us into your God's abode! You will not lie to us because you speak the truth! You will offer a tired traveler to rest, to gain strength and reach the very end with you! What shall we do? We have to go because you called us to your place. We must go to meet you. You're risen so we can see you.

   – Is this your first time here in the Church of the Holy sepulchre?"  the man standing next to the Memorial asked curiously in Hebrew.

   "No, not for the first time, but I always find something new here," the Memorable one said to the other.

   – What's new this time?"  the Israelite asked with interest.

   – I have found a new way to Christ. Usually on Easter day I walked along a well-known road to the Church of the Holy sepulchre. This time I went to see new streets, new alleys of the city and taste new food. I found the way Christ walked. As it seems to me, as my heart tells me, Christ also walked this path – " said the Memorable one.

   – I advise you to go all over the Holy land, for I have never seen anything more beautiful in this world." The city seems to invite you to experience its centuries-old history.

   "I will!"

   Memorable noticed that a beautiful parishioner came to the Church of the Holy sepulchre, and she reminded Memorable of Sophia. He remembered how happy they had been, and how suddenly they had lost everything. Memorable, like Sophia, loved to imagine their future and their death. Memorable is very sorry that they will not realize their dreams since they broke up. But he would not forget what she had said about the end of the world:

   - Memorable, I want to share with you my dreams. I often imagine the perfect end of the world when I sit with you in my arms on a sandy beach. I see a huge explosion of the sun wave destroying the ocean and nearby land shores. We dissolve in the radiant light and return home to God, where there are waiting for us beloved people, endless gardens, rivers and wonders of unearthly life.

   - Sophia, Beautiful ending.

   - Memorable, I would say – a beautiful beginning!

   "Sophia, we may have eternal life." But what is eternal life? What does she look like?" How will we feel? What will we understand? What will we lose and gain?

   - Memorable, it does not matter, because the main thing is that we will be happy as we are happy now.

   Memorable left the temple of the Lord, crossed himself and decided to go home. But a man came up to him and asked:

   "Are you a monk?"

   "That's right. How can I help you?"

   "My name is Zeno. I'd like to ask. Isn't this the first time you've come here?

   – True.

   – It's not the first time I've seen you here."

   – Well, then, we must meet, since you are already interested in me." My name is Memorable.

   – Very pleasant. You visit Jerusalem often enough, as if you are afraid not to come again.

   "Zeno, I fear nothing, for it is the will of God. If anything happens to me, it means God let it happen. I'm just walking down the road.

   - Memorable, And, where your will?

   "Zeno, I'll try to explain. We live in an absurd world. Through absurdity we gain awareness of freedom, because absurdity creates a condition for contradiction and as a result, choice is revealed as a way out of contradiction. Freedom exists as long as we do not resolve contradictions, so in the absolute sense all contradictions cannot be resolved, and it is not necessary, because we want freedom. We can choose anything and it would be absurd not to choose, because it would be strange not to come out of the absurd. Therefore, it is the will of the Lord, because our choice may coincide with the will of the Lord, but it will still be my choice.

   - Memorable, the Will of the Lord can coincide with the choice of a person to kill someone?

   "Zeno, Of course not. God is a virtue, but the evil done by someone can coincide with the will of Satan.

   - Memorable, it turns out that God cannot do something.

   "Zeno, of course it is. Though he might do such an act, he will not do it, for his will is directed to virtue.

   - Memorable, And, you am confident, that you is free?

   "Zeno, of Course, for I see and hear and feel contradictions. They are the essence of the universe, or rather its law.

   - Memorable, In other words, the one who does not see, does not hear and does not feel the contradiction is a slave?

   "Zeno, that's right. This man is a slave because he will not do things of his own free will, but according to a dubious Canon imposed by a certain group of people with certain beliefs.

   At this moment Memorable said goodbye to Zeno, as he had to go home. They agreed to meet tomorrow at the same place. Jerusalem received the Memorable with good will, because the people of Jerusalem received him with good will. Memorable as if he heard the words of Christ, who walked through its streets and preached his teachings to people. Jerusalem seemed to mourn and rejoice with the Remembrance of the loss of Christ and his resurrection.

Nineteenth day. Miracle

   The next day the Memorable one came to the appointed place. He saw Zeno waiting for him.

   "Hello, Memory."

   "Hello, Zeno.

   "Memory, have you ever seen a miracle?"

   "Zeno, every single day.

   - Memorable, what do you see every day?

   "Zeno, I see the sun, the sky, the earth, the living things. I think the most beautiful thing that I am and that I can see these miracles. We get used to miracles, and therefore seek them, despite the fact that they surround us and knock every day at the door of the soul.

   "Memorable, what is wonderful about what surrounds us?" Isn't the world around us mathematics, physics and biology?

   "Zeno, the miracle Is that mathematics, physics, and biology are, though they might not be, not by good fortune, but by God's Providence.

   Memorable and Zeno decided to walk around Jerusalem and continue the scholarly conversation. Memorable thought, what, how much more will be said? How much has not been said? We hurry to tell something, as if these are the last words in our lives. What are we afraid not to say? Tomorrow he decided to visit the city of Bethlehem, where Christ was born.

Twentieth day. Waiting for the liberal death

   Memorable thought that it is impossible not to visit Bethlehem. It was in Bethlehem two thousand years ago that hope was born. He wanted to see that hope. He wanted to see the Church of the Nativity, on the Manger square. But before to be at the meeting place of the Magi with the Christ, he went to a local diner to eat local food. When he sat down at a table, two tourists were talking about Freedom in Russian next to him:

   – God made us free when God opened the doors to us from prison and we came out into the light of God. We didn't just become free, we wanted to be free.

   "What the hell?" What are you talking about?"! Are you free?! You cannot attain freedom because you are dead, because you are not living. In the French revolution people gave their lives for freedom! And what did you give to achieve it? Freedom requires sacrifice as a necessary pagan ritual to make it rain. What are you going to sacrifice? A candy bar? Or maybe your favorite Breakfast? You do not forget to buy a chair in IKEA to sit on it and start watching your favorite TV channel.

   – What do you suggest?" Should we go to the next rallies on Bolotnaya square? Send a letter of complaint to the President? Or write a book about freedom? Now we have changed, we will not try to protest. We're not creating Chuck Palahniuk's fight club. We will not write a Quiet don Sholokhov. Rather, we care when the new IPhone comes out. We are more willing to buy another book by Daria Dontsova than to read the Dead souls of Gogol.

   – In your opinion, it is better to slowly gain fat, so God forbid not to freeze in the winter? In your opinion, it is better to expect a liberal death? In your opinion, it is better not to defend their rights?

   – We already have freedom, because we gained it when God suffered for us and opened the way for us to him.

   – You are mistaken, for you lost your liberty when you gave it to the high lords of the land. They decide where your freedom begins and where it ends.

Memorable listened attentively to the tourists, enjoying the local cuisine. After all, it is no coincidence that Christ was a rebel of his time. He had to do the impossible-atone for the sins of mankind. Christ gave his life for the freedom of mankind and changed the course of human civilization. Christ was born for us, and for us he died. Tomorrow Memorable will go to Palestine, to the city of Jericho.

Twenty-first Day. Temptation of Christ

   Like Christ, the Memorable went out of the city of Jericho to retire and watch the evening Palestinian sunset. He sat down on a nearby rock and thought about the life of Christ. The memorable thought, In the desert, not a soul. Only the solid sand and the scorching sun. The night is very cold, and a day of terrible heat. Who can follow in the footsteps of Christ? Who can resist the inhuman temptations of Satan? Who will fulfill the mission entrusted to you? You alone, because you have not extinguished the light of the stars, and You are not proud of your greatness. You didn't agree to take the throne of earth. You have retreated into the wilderness to defeat the enemy of man. You did not come to Satan with a weapon in your hand, but with the word of God. You could stand when Satan offered you food. You were able to stand when Satan tempted you to kill yourself to miraculously escape death. You were able to stand when Satan wanted to give you all the kingdoms of the earth. You have accepted your way. You have not turned from your chosen path. You went all the way to the end in spite of everything you had. Did you know what was coming? If you knew what was coming to you, then why did you go to certain death? Did you know that no one could escape his death? You are not afraid of death because you have accepted it. You don't need earthly kingdoms, because your Kingdom is in heaven. You didn't do miracles because you did a miracle when you lived a human life. What have you left behind? You left your footprints so that we could follow them and reach your height, as if to reach the summit of Everest. You became an example to any Christian, because you were a man. You did not appear in divine form, but you came to us in the flesh to experience human suffering. You became closer to people, when weathered big post, to feel human passions. What did you promise?" You did not promise earthly goods, you promised eternal life in your Kingdom. When we perish, we will rejoice in your Kingdom. You will open the gates and we will enter your Eden.

   The sun went out, and the starry panorama appeared before the eyes of the Memorable. Memorable felt the cool wind and heard human speech. The electric light illuminated the trees and the city. Music drifted to the outskirts of the city. The desert darkened, but the soul of the Memorable shone from being in the place where Christ was. Memorable thought it was incredible that he was standing in this city and he was alive. What chance was there that he would be born and see this two-thousand-year-old city? He is not just a lucky man, he is like a chosen one of the divine will.

Twenty-second Day. The New Ark

   Israel is surrounded by four seas. Memorable decided to go to the Mediterranean sea to enjoy its dimensionality, purity and openness. Memorable is ready to see the water pearl of Israel. It was as if he could already see the waves beating against the sandy shore and the sun warming his body. How can you not see the bottomless green sea with an endless horizon, receding into space. But he thinks about how this beauty can be a merciless weapon of nature in the hands of God. Memorable remembered the flood and thought-These days every Christian will not forget. The waves seemed to rise from hell and soared to the heavens! God had no mercy or pity for men! In panic the people fled, hoping to escape. How many you endured, but you not was able to contain anger. People have done too many sins. Too many you decided to sacrifice human lives in the name of justice! You didn't want to give them a chance. You wanted to cleanse the earth of vices! You wanted to cleanse human souls of pride! You wanted to show them vengeance! Your will was done, but you warned Noah, you told Him to build the ark. Why did you tell Noah to build the ark? Why did you choose him? To have your chosen ones rebuild a new Eden? Why did you sacrifice so many people? To make them atone? You gave Noah the right to choose who to keep alive. But Noah didn't ask if they wanted to enter the new world. Maybe they were ready to die with the others! Have people lost faith in your commandments?! People have become cruel, so you have treated them cruelly! What did you want to achieve?! You wanted to see another world? But you didn't see him! People haven't changed since the flood! They even sacrificed your son of man! But you were not bowed down, you allowed them to make a sacrifice, as if you had allowed a pagan rite to be performed. What will you tell us?"! Have we changed?! You are steadily making your plans. So what's your plan?! You are silent again, and you have been silent since the creation of the world. You created us, so why aren't you happy with us? Maybe you're not perfect, so you made us imperfect? We are paying the price for your sin, because we like you.

   His thoughts were interrupted by the passenger sitting next to Him.

   – Are you going to the sea?"

   "Yes, you're right!

   – It is very beautiful, as well as very dangerous!"

   – I agree with you."

   Memorable looked through the window of the bus at the city of Jericho and followed him with his eyes. Memorable expressed hope that this time God will be merciful to people and will not punish a weak person. Memorable thought that God would not destroy the new ark like the new world we live in.

Twenty-third Day. Hospital

   The next morning Memorable woke up and decided to go to the Mediterranean. But he found himself lying on his bunk, surrounded by white walls. The Windows were open, but there were bars on them. There were other people in the room besides him. Some he knew, others he seemed to have seen somewhere. All of them, like him, were dressed in white. Suddenly, from the corridor, he heard the voice of a woman. "What are all these people doing in my hotel room?" What kind of woman is screaming in my hotel room? Apparently the cleaning lady came into my hotel room to clean it up? He had a cognitive dissonance. He didn't know what was going on. It was as if the world had been changed overnight, and in the morning the world was different.

   - Wake up! Time to take your pills! the woman in the corridor repeated. With great curiosity, the Memorable one left the room and asked for a man who was standing near the door to the other room and dressed in the same white clothes:

   – Where am I?"

   – You, that with oak collapsed? You don't know where you are anymore? Time to call the nurse! She'll give you a vitamin shot! You'll lay of the land!  the young man said, puzzled and laughing.

   – Am I in the hospital?" - with frightened eyes asked his interlocutor.

   "Well, you're captain obvious!" And you are not just in the hospital, and you are in a psychiatric hospital – - with confidence said the interlocutor.

   Panicked, Memorial returned to his bunk and tried to make sense of what was going on. He tried to remember how he had ended up in the asylum. He thought about how he could move from a hotel room to a mental hospital overnight. He decided to go to the nurse and find out:

   "Tell me what I'm doing in the hospital." I was brought here from my hotel room last night-to the hospital?  in the confusion asks the Aide.

   – First of all, my name is Lydia Nikolaevna, I'm a senior nurse. Please take these pills and drink them. Your doctor will answer your questions later – " the nurse said sharply and coldly.

   – I'm not going to take pills, I'm healthy." Tell me what's going on.! How did I get here?! "no," said the memorable One, hotly

   – If you don't do as you're told, we'll call the orderlies and give you an injection!" Will that suit you?"!  the nurse raised her voice.

   In a complete daze, Memorable still complied with the nurse's demands. He took the pills and decided to wait for his doctor in his room. Puzzled, He felt himself drifting back to sleep and lay down on his bunk. He had a very important conversation with his doctor, who should clear up this misunderstanding.

Twentieth day. Enlightenment

   Among patients with the Aide could not find Sergius. As it turned out, the man in the white coat, who went to the Memorial, was Sergius – a close friend in the monastic community.

   "Sergius, are you my doctor?" So you've never lived in a monastic community?

   "Memorable, Yes. But we are still good friends.

   "Sergius, I don't understand what's going on. What the hell?

   "I'm your doctor," he said. You already as 2 year are on treatment in psychiatric hospital them. Alexeyev. I know it sounds crazy, but you've been living in a fantasy world for a long time. It's not the first time we've brought you back to the real world.

   – Are you ill?" Could it be the other way around? I'm healthy, I'm a monk!

   – I know it's hard to realize that this is all happening in your morbid fantasies. You were never a monk. You have never been in contact with your fellow monks. You didn't go to Jerusalem. You suffer from Alzheimer's disease, in which a person replaces the real world with a fictional world.

   – I live in the real world and I'm not going to believe I'm sick.

   "That's your right. But we will try to help you so that you can return to your former life.

   – What kind of life? I live in a monastery.

   – Then how did you end up in the hospital?" You will not be able to do this because you have memory impairment, which is characteristic of this disease. The question is not that it's all fiction and that you're sick. The question is, what makes sense to you? You have to decide. Which is better? Living a real life with the knowledge that you're sick? Or enjoy a meaningful life, a fictional disease?

   – What are you talking about?"! I don't understand you. You have to take me back to the hotel room located in Israel, or you have to take me back to the monastery!

   – Which hotel or monastery should I return you to?" You don't even know their names. All right, you calm down and rest. We'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm glad you realize you're living in a hospital. The first step is done. We will hope that you will get even better!

Memorable began to think it was a big conspiracy against him. Most likely, They want to drive him crazy, but the truth is that he really does not remember the name of the monastery and the hotel, and he cannot remember how he ended up in the hospital.

Twenty-fifth Day. Philosophical intoxication

   In the hospital, as in the army, at seven in the morning all Wake up and ask patients to make their beds. Memorable was very sleepy, but he got up from his bunk, made his bed, and went out into the corridor. The patients, like the Memorable one, are all waiting for Breakfast, as because of the side effects of the pills everyone is very hungry. Suddenly came to a Memorable man of Memorable did not expect to see in the hospital.

   - Memorable, good morning. How are you feeling? Since the last meeting I have thought a great deal about what you said about free will, about the will of God, and about slavery. I think your reasoning on these topics reflects reality.

   "Zeno, my God! You here too?! Did they send you to the hospital, too? How did they bring you from Jerusalem?!

   - Memorable, Wait, what Jerusalem?! What are you talking about? I've never been to Jerusalem. You must be confusing me with someone.

   "Zeno, You spoke Hebrew. Don't you know Hebrew?

   - Memorable, no, I don't know Hebrew. What's wrong with you? Apparently, the pills are affecting you so much that you don't even recognize me.

   "Zeno, I'm sorry. I do not distinguish at all what really happened to me and what is the fruit of my painful world.

   – Memorable, don't apologize, We all here don't understand what's real and what's disease. By the way, a very good question. You directly inspire me on philosophical conversations, when we communicate with you.

   "Zeno, Yes, the monk Confessor...is standing outside the locked dining room in the psychiatric hospital, waiting for his Breakfast to be brought to him. At least someone I inspire philosophical thoughts. I can't believe this is happening to me.

   "Memorable, no one ever thinks it can happen to him.

   "Zeno, Oh, Breakfast is coming!" At least some joy! What's for Breakfast today?

   - Memorable, but nothing special! Today on schedule-porridge semolina, a piece of butter, a piece of sausage and a glass of tea.

   - Zeno, that OK day begins well!

   The memorable man went into the dining-room with Zeno and began to eat Breakfast. His appetite was good. During Breakfast Zeno told the memorable That he would like to continue our philosophical conversation. Memorable same said, that this conversation better postpone on the other day, now him not want engage, as he put it, philosophical intoxication.

Twenty-sixth Day. You again, Mr. Snowden?

   Memorial lay on his bed and wondered how he could have gotten into this mess. Suddenly, the chamber is again a familiar face with a familiar speech.

   "Hello, Memory." I came by to see if you had any hidden cameras.

   "My God, Mr. Snowden, you again?" I expected to see you in the asylum. Well, you come in, don't be shy! Don't forget to check every bed and nightstand. Yes! I almost forgot to tell you! I remember being watched. It's funny, I thought we met on the train when I was going to Moscow, but in fact I was with you in a psychiatric hospital. The irony of life!

   – I'm not Mr. Snowden. Although I am flattered by your words. You shouldn't be laughing at me. Such information that I told you, not everyone will tell you, because I can discredit.

   - Mr. Snowden, I'll tell you a secret, you are already discredited and caught by the security services! – laughs and Memorable.

   "It can't be! I am carefully hidden from the security services, I am out of reach for them!

   "By the way, what was your diagnosis?"

   – I have no diagnosis! I'm healthy!

   – Yes here, whom not man and to whom not approach, every seems healthy.

   – I suspect you're schizophrenic."

   "Well, I'm going to keep checking the wards for bugs!"

   "Yes, of course! Go! I will not distract you from an important task. As you say, we are all under the hood…

   Memorable thought that perhaps the last two years of his life with everyone he communicated with, he actually communicated with them in the hospital. How incredible, – said the Memorable-the Disease does not just interfere with life, but it changes your world beyond recognition. You think you're living in a convent, but you're actually living in a hospital. All your friends and acquaintances

are either sick or employees of the hospital. You think you've traveled the world, but you've just walked around the hospital. You thought you were eating food from the best restaurants, but in fact you're eating food from an ordinary dining room, which is also good, because it's better than nothing. So what's my real life like? What has illness stolen from my life? I have to find out from Sergei…

Twenty-seven Day. The local alcoholics

   Memorable decided to walk on office and, perhaps, to meet "old" acquaintances. Memorable was not mistaken about his old "acquaintances," for he heard familiar exclamations coming from another ward at the other end of the ward. Memorable thought, that did this the old a drunkard SELA Volodya, which fiercely criticized Patriarch of all Russian. Memorable reached this chamber and entered it. As it turned out, in this chamber was the same drunkard Volodya.

   "Oh, Memorable! Come in old friend! Join the tea party, we've made a strong tea! Pieces ten disposable streaks tea used.

   - Hi, Volodya! I think I'll refuse. This tea is too strong.

   "As you wish!" Will be healthier!

   – Consonant.

   "By the way, what do you think of our Patriarch?"

   In this moment Memorable thought, that is worth whether him lead the subject about Patriarch, so as in this moment Volodya becomes bad man, as if in him are possessed by demons. However, Memorable still decided to answer him:

   – I think that the Patriarch of all Russia is engaged in a noble cause.

   "Nonsense! He is engaged in legal corruption. He is the heir of medieval obscurantism. People have already flown to the moon, and they all bow to " Carlos, who promised to return."

   – There are no perfect people, we all have something sinful!

   – These are not sins, these are simple human needs.

   "Now, you sin by drinking alcohol!"

   "Did the doctors tell you I was drinking?"! So I will say, I quite culturally drink without fights and verbal abuse.

   – You culturally drink a liter of vodka a day.

   "Lies and slander! I keep track of how much I drink. I'm getting back to normal!

   "Well, well…

   Memorable apologized to the local alcoholics and decided to return to his room. He decided to lie down because he wanted to sleep.

Twenty-eighth Day. The past that never happened

   The next morning his attending physician, Sergius, came into the room to Find out what the condition of the Memorable was.

   - Hello, Sergius!

   "Hello, Memory." How do you feel? Is anything bothering you?

   - Yes, there is, that worries me. I can't get away from that revelation yet. Apparently, when I was in another world, I told you about a creationist with whom I communicated at the Orthodox Institute.

   "Perhaps," he said, " I understand that this has been a great shock to you. We will gradually inform you about your present and past, so as not to burden your brain with a large amount of information. However, I will again disappoint you, since you did not study at the Orthodox Institute. This is confabulation. Many of your memories are false. But you did talk about a creationist from your world made up by disease.

   – Even fiction that I was interested in Hinduism and communicated with a Hindu?

   – This time I'm not sure it's a manifestation of the disease. It is quite possible that you did communicate with a Hindu. However, we have to check this will not be able. At least, according to your wife, I do not recall such memories of your Hobbies.

   "My God, it doesn't get any easier." Wait, I have a wife?

   "Yes, you have a wife. You told me about her. However, you told in very distorted representations about it.

   "Sophia?"

   – True.

   Memorable did not know what to do, whether to rejoice at this news, or to cry about where he was, because he could not be with his beloved. Memorable was in a stupor, because he does not even remember that they did not part. As it turns out, she visits him.

   – I'm afraid the disease will progress and it will come back again, so we're trying to stabilise your condition. Perhaps your return to life is a temporary effect.

   "Will you help me?"

   – We'll do our best, so rest and gather strength."

   Memorable thought that a new day brought new surprises. He could only hope for medicine, that it would cure him, and hope for God that he would not leave him, and that he would be near. After all, faith in God remains in any deplorable circumstances of life.

Twenty-ninth Day. The mad monk

   The memorable did not notice the still more imposing figure of his sickly world. Memorable not observed in hospital Archimandrite Vitaly. What was his surprise when he saw Vitaly during lunch in the dining room. Memorable approached him and asked:

   - Vitaly, what are you doing in the hospital?

   - Memorable, I, as well as all the others, here am treated.

   "Vitaly, I thought I invented you, but thank God you are there.

   - Memorable, Don't worry, I exist!

   – Vitaly, You, too, never was a monk and, accordingly, have never lived in a monastery?

   - Memorable, No, I just am a monk and live in a monastery. But at the moment, I'm in the hospital.

   - Vitaly, Maybe you are mistaken, how can I believe you? You're sick.

   "Memory, I am certainly ill, but why can't you believe me?" Does the fact that I am ill cancel faith in my words? On the other hand, it is the belief that no one will give you a guarantee. Decide for yourself!

   "Vitaly, I Recognize you!"

   - Memorable, Glad to hear!

   Memorial was pleased to see that at least Archimandrite Vitaly is not a figment of his morbid imagination. But why is he in the hospital?

   - Vitaly, Than you are sick?

   "I was terribly depressed. Could not engage in everyday monastic work. That's decided to heal.

   – Vitaly, we'll throw in recent days, my world turned on its head. Not long ago, I fell asleep as a monk and woke up with Alzheimer's.

   - Memorable, Well, we all make discoveries!  Vitaly grinned.

   – Vitaly, To the point! - supported Memorable Vitaly.

   "Memory, do you still believe in God?"

   - Vitaly, he always with me!

   - Memorable, this well-means, you not have changed!

   Memorable said goodbye to Vitaly and went back to his room. Memorable more and more tried on his illness. It seemed to him that it was not so bad that his world had collapsed, but now he sees the real world.

Thirtieth day. You don't exist!

   Memorable got up from his bed and decided to go watch TV. Memorable noticed that next to the TV was a lot of patients, which is not surprising, since it is a local attraction where patients have fun. At least some joy in this hopeless place, like a "mental hospital". Memorable thought-How can you help these people if they can not even serve themselves? The most unfortunate thing is that they are not to blame for anything, because the disease has no face, the disease does not punish transgressions, it just appears and slowly kills you. The worst thing is you can see the tumor, but you can't see the mental illness. Memorable sat on an empty chair and began to watch TV. A neighbor watching TV started talking to him:

   - Memorable, Here we are watching TV, and what if we are also watching, as we look at the heroes of the TV screen?

   – Who's watching us?"

   "Of course, the same audience as you and me.

   "Well, let them look. What do we care about them?

   – It's not that simple. If they look at us like we look at pictures on TV, then we are the same pictures on TV. Therefore, we do not exist. We are just toys in the hands of children. We experience, struggle and love, but all in vain, all a farce, all a picture.

    To – be! How to test this idea?

    In fact of all the matter is that in any way, because we are just soulless puppets, pixels on a computer screen.

   "Are you a programmer?"

   – Yeah right, how did you know?

   – I've heard you say the same thing before." You think we live in a computer program.

   "True, but I haven't spoken to you.

   – Yes, you're right, but I heard you arguing about it with an acquaintance of yours.

   "You were eavesdropping!"

   "I'm sorry, there's such a sin on me.

   "Well, it doesn't matter, because you don't exist. I'm talking to myself.

   "My doctor would argue with you."

   Memorable thought that maybe we were all confused in our thoughts about the world order. Maybe we all live in a " big mental hospital." Just someone caught, and someone works for the benefit of society. Some believe in God, and some believe in Science. How can you believe someone who is sick? All around us are surrounded by "psychos".

Thirty-first day. Dissident

   Memorial was lying on his bed, and suddenly he heard a sharp loud yell, as if someone was being killed. The nurses shouted, " Call the orderlies, Rowdy!" After a while orderlies ran in and wrung the patient. Memorable decided to look at the hero of the day, as in the hospital it is one of the few events that can be viewed. Memorable was surprised that it was "brother in the monastic community" Igor. Memorable decided to communicate with Igor, despite the fact that he was very excited and tied to the bed.

   - Hi, Igor.

   "Memory, you must untie me." I'm being held against my will! It doesn't benefit the government that I tell the truth to people.

   – What truth are you telling?"

   - I'm against isolating patients. We're being illegally locked up in a mental hospital. This is the second Auschwitz. They call us "psychos" and do what they want with us. We need to confront modern evil! They're killing us with pills! These pills are modern straitjackets!

   – I can't help you because you need help. We're in the hospital for a reason.

   – You don't understand the time period we live in. We live in a time of modern Inquisition. They don't listen to us because we're not human anymore, we're Guinea pigs. As before, we do not cast out demons, now we are sent to the "electric table". Under the guise of benefactors, we are made vegetables. We are being tested on psychotropic drugs without asking our permission.

   – I know it's hard to understand, but we're in the hospital for a reason. We're sick and we need help. You'll have to accept that. Why are you in the hospital?

   – I'm a political dissident.

   – I mean, what was your diagnosis?"

   – It doesn't matter what my diagnosis is. Yes, there is all the dissident put the diagnosis. Sluggish schizophrenia. If you are a danger to the state, you are sent to the psychiatric mines.

   – Do you think it would be better if we were shackled like in the middle ages?"

   – We're already in rags."

   "Okay, you rest!" I will go…

   "We have nowhere to go…

   Memorable thought that man was destined to be born to live his life. A person is destined to get sick to feel the proximity of death. Man is destined to die to meet God.

Thirty-second day. The fate of an atheist

   Memorable is no longer surprised by anything. In the corridor, he hears the familiar voice again. This time he recognized the voice. It was the atheist who had told him of the fatal incident that had changed his beliefs. Here is his Aide wasn't expecting to see in the hospital.

   – How did you end up in the hospital?"

   "Hello, Memory." I don't know how I ended up in the hospital. However, after I quarreled with my father, the orderlies came home and twisted my arms and took me to the hospital. Apparently, my father called an ambulance.

   – Clearly. At least you don't look like a sick person.

   – I don't see how I could be among the worthless and half-finished scum of society. These patients are not needed by society. They need to be thrown away in a landfill, so as not to waste taxpayers ' money on these parasites. They will die and deserve it.

   "You're in your usual routine."

   – You're no different from the others, by the way." You have a divine dependence. You're a genetic Christian addict. You cannot live without God.

   – We're all sick." You are no exception to the rule.

   – I'm perfectly sane. It's a big misunderstanding that I'm in the hospital.

   "That's what everyone says when they go to a mental hospital."

   Memorable thought that first impressions can be deceptive. What an irony of life! This atheist hates the sick, even though he is one. Even this atheist is sick, despite his " sound thoughts." We are all hostages of our "sane thoughts", but for some reason these sane thoughts lead us to get to the hospital. What can we expect? What is the fate of this atheist? What is my fate? Are we supposed to live in a hospital? Are we destined to die in it? If God is all-seeing, he knows everything. We are naked before God. We're in the palm of his hand. He knows my fate and that of this atheist.

Thirty-third Day. Transmission

   Memorial was lying on his bed in his room. Nurses approached him and asked him to help prepare For the transfer. I had to bring the chairs to the hostess's room and dust the tables. Memorable asked the nurse:

   "Are the patients' families coming today?"

   - Yes, today is visiting day.

   Memorable thought, that, can be, to him, too, will come native, but he even not remembers their. What would I tell them? About how I watched the program on channel one? About having fun talking to schizophrenics, alcoholics and psychopaths about politics? I don't know what to say to my family, if they come at all. Maybe they forgot me. Suddenly Memorable heard, that nurse loudly shouted his surname, - Memorable to you came! Memorable in confusion came to the room of the mistress and saw his beloved Sophia.

   "Hello, love." Your doctor told me you were feeling better. I immediately decided to come to you – to tears Sofia.

   "I'm sorry, Sophia, but I don't remember our life together," the Memorable one said regretfully.

   – Don't worry, you'll remember us. You will remember your son. The doctors will think of something.

   – Oh, my God, I didn't know that I have a son. I have no words.

   – If you remember, he came to visit you, and you told him about the red square and the victory day in the second great Patriotic war.

   Memorable thought that how could he forget the birth and growing up of his son. How sorry he was! it's a terrible disease. What awaits him next? A wheelchair that he can't move?

   – Do you remember our dreams?" Sophia asked.

   "You mean the perfect end of the world?"

   – Yeah. Well. You know, that I will with you until the end of, until the last moment our with you life.

   "Sophie, this is sad…

   – I know, that you survive, you a strong! The main thing you fight against all odds!

   Sophia hugged Him tightly and wept with despair and resentment at the unjust life. Memorable hugged her, too, and wept a little. He thought that life had been cruel to Sophia because she loved a sick man who barely remembered her. Sophia kissed Him tenderly and said:

   - Memorable, I love you very much. You don't give up, you believe me, the main thing you have to trust me. I believe that a miracle will happen and you will remember. Remember everything.

   "Sophie, I love you too, even though I lived with you in a fantasy world.

   - Nothing, everything will come, everything will normalize. I don't want to break up, but the meeting time is over. I will always be there, we will survive this misfortune.

   Memorable and Sophia kissed and said goodbye to each other. Sophia handed him the bag of food and left, and he thought about what it would be like for his beloved wife. Memorable thought, - Here it is, my love! She seems to be near me, but she is still far away from me. But I know I have a son! How sad it is.

Thirty-fourth day. Charles Darwin was right!

   Before going to bed, the nurses asked the Patient to wash the floors. For the work nurses were given hot tea. As he set to work, he heard familiar voices. It was Alexander and Constantine, who once discussed about the possibility of the existence of heaven on earth, and now they're discussing human behavior.

   "Alexander, Charles Darwin was right! Just look at the way the patients behave and what they discuss. They have monkey behavior! They communicate in monkey language! They only think about how to fill their stomachs. Of course, they will not forget to discuss politics, which they do not understand a damn thing. That's what they want to achieve in life? They don't want anything. They are ready for the rest of their days to look at the ceiling and fantasize about their fictional achievements. Who do they think they are? They don't even consider themselves human. Someone who considers himself Optimus Prime, someone who believes himself to be the prophet Mohammed. They're sick monkeys, " Constantine said irritably.

   Memorable could not restrain himself because of the words expressed by Constantine and decided to enter into a dialogue. The aide was caught off guard by Constantine and Alexander.

   "I'm sorry to interrupt, but you've brought up a sore point. You look at yourself, you have fallen below human dignity because you judge disabled people. Who are you to judge disabled people? Yes, you are sick yourself, but you still judge them. Have you lived their lives to talk about their lives?

   "Memorable, You are right that I have not lived their lives, but there is nothing special in their lives. Are you looking for justice? To all was on conscience? Well! You won't find a conscientious person in the hospital. Almost every one of them sitting on the necks of their parents and not able to work for the good of society.

   "Constantine, what are you Talking about?" What about the welfare? Society does not need you, it does not want to think about you, and even more so will not help you. You would have shown a modicum of compassion for your fellow tribesmen instead of caring for your precious society.

   - Memorable, you not helps society?! You're crazy! You get disability benefits! You spend a lot of money to inject you with the right dose of drugs. Do you have any idea how much your bed costs?! Do you know how many patients want to take your place?!

   "Constantine, I will gladly give up my seat." I want to be free to be near my loved ones.

   - Memorable, I will Tell you the secret that loved ones sent you to the hospital!

   "Constantine, You misunderstand me. They were right to send me to the hospital because they want me to get help. I want to get well myself. But at the moment, psychiatry is not able to help me, and society does not care deeply about our problems. Who cares about the conversations of deranged people?

   Memorable told Constantine that he needed to finish cleaning the floors and left the room. Memorable decided to hurry with the execution of the work to drink the long-awaited tea and go to bed. Memorable thought over what Constantine had said to him. Constantine could be understood, as could everyone else. We're like in a zoo, sitting in a cage, and we're waiting to be released.

Thirty-fifth Day. What's your name?

   On this day Memorable walked down the corridor from one window to another window. He was approached by a young man with a familiar appearance.

   - Hello, Memorable! Recognize me?

   "Are you a weirdo?"

   - Me!

   Memorable and Oddball hugged each other warmly. To some extent, memorable was surprised to meet him, but to a greater extent, He guessed that he would see the Eccentric in the hospital.

   – I never thought I'd see you in the hospital."

   "The world is a strange thing! You never know what you'll see tomorrow!

   "I agree." It's time for the world to stop its show and close the curtain so we can go home.

   "Not yet! The show must go on! So more interesting to live!

   "I think of William Shakespeare."

   – To the point!

   "Geezer, I know Your nickname, but what's your name?"

   – My name is as strange as I am. That's probably why I got the nickname. My name is Svyatoslav.

   – Are your parents pagan?"

   "My parents are dead.

   "I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I guess my parents died, too, but I don't remember that.

   "Memorable, what's your name?"

   – That's a good question." But I don't remember my name.

   – You and I are two weirdo’s in this hospital. It's strange we're called Weirdo’s. I think everyone in this hospital is weird!

   "Okay, we're talking. Dinner had arrived. Let's go have lunch."

   Memorable thought he was really ill, since he did not know his name. Apparently, the disease will progress, and he will not even be able to go to the toilet without help. Well, I guess my time has come to see you, Christ.

Thirty-sixth Day. Prophet of the hospital

   Memorable was waiting for dinner. For dinner, usually give a glass of milk and a piece of bread. A crowd had gathered near the dining-room door at supper, and among the crowd a man very familiar to the Memorable spoke. As in the revelation of John, this man spoke the truth about the coming Apocalypse:

   – The world's going to end soon, because all the signs say so!"

   "Alexander Nikolaevich, are you here too?"

   - Memorable, Yes I hence and not went! In our time it is dangerous to live in the wild! Soon the Savior will come! We are waiting for terrible events! Increase in the number of volcanic eruptions! Nine-point earthquakes! The sun will burn all living things! Floods will wash away cities! I know what I'm saying. I saw it in my dreams. God spoke to me. He warns, that soon he show up! Fear ye sinners, for his judgment is nigh! He told me to go to the people and speak his word!

   Memorable thought that life was laughing at him! Even his alleged teacher at the Orthodox Institute went crazy. It is visible to the naked eye. Where is the world going? Have we all gone mad? How lamentably, a former Professor of theology became a prophet of the hospital! Although I forgot that I did not study at the Orthodox Institute, and that he is not a Professor of theology.

   - Alexander Nikolaevich, You do not rush to conclusions about the end of the world. Have us already every year predict the end of the world! Especially on REN TV in a loud voice to warn of the destruction of mankind.

   - Memorable, soon no one will warn!

   - Alexander Nikolaevich, in any case the end of the world will come by God's will or by the will of nature. God only knows when the end will come. Why should we worry about him?

   – You don't understand! We will all disappear from the face of the earth! We need to build a second Ark!

   – Tomorrow we'll ask the carpenters to come to the hospital and start building the second Ark. In the meantime, you eat bread and drink milk, or you will be tied to the bed and gagged, and you will not speak the word of God, but you will low.

   Memorable thought that we are waiting for the end of the world, but it does not come. What only were not loud statements of" true " prophets about the end of the world. Does the world end when we die? A personal Apocalypse, so to speak?

Thirty-seventh Day. Hospital Policies

This Memorial day we decided to go to the kitchen to ask to give him some work. Once it came, we saw Nicholas and Basil, the ones who were discussing Putin and the current government. It's like they're stuck on a record, and they can't help but talk about him.

   - Yes that your Putin? That's what he did?! He didn't do a damn thing during his reign. You go to the Outback! You will see dead villages and vast acres of empty land.

   – I think you're blind!" You don't even see that he rebuilt the country! Picked her up! You just didn't live in the nineties!

   "I saw the nineties!" I saw houses blown up in Moscow! I saw the so-called oligarchs appear.

   – You don't see the difference?"

   – I see the difference. I'm a Muscovite! All I know is that my disability hasn't changed much. For me, this is the main criterion of his activity. Do you know how to live on it? I think Putin also does not know how to live on it. We were left to our fate.

   – As the saying goes, who on that earned, then and devoured!

   "That's it!

   Memorable thought, that even Vasily and Nikolai are in psychiatric hospital. Here they could well be stuffed into the hospital for political freethinking about our state and its leader.

Thirty-eighth day. Nightmare

   In this day on the morning Memorable has awakened and was ready to stand up in turn on reception pills. He made his bed automatically and thought he was out in the hospital corridor. But a new surprise awaited him. In the hallway, the Aide did not see patients and nurses. The corridor didn't look like a hospital corridor, he noticed. He thought he seemed to be in danger again.

   – Am I back in Israel in my hotel room?"! I'm not in a mental hospital! Perhaps we should not jump to conclusions. I don't know what the hell's going on with me lately. Have to pinch myself. (Memorable pinched themselves) Like I am in reality, not in dream! But what about it? After all, Sergei said, that I again can to return in its fictional the world! God with this dream! Better to live in a fantasy world! Besides, the world isn't made up, I'm quite aware of what I'm doing. I feel everything, I see everything! My worries are in vain! Just in case you need to ask the receptionist about how long I was away! It feels like I haven't been to the hotel for a week!

   Memorable went down to the first floor of the hotel and approached the administrator.

    - Hello, can you tell me when was the last time you saw me?

   – Strange question. We saw each other last night!

   "Thank you."

   Memorable thought that this adventure in the hospital had ended in a " happy ending." How realistic it was! You like sleep, and live all as in reality! Who to tell, will not believe! Here Sergey is not exactly going to believe me when I'm back in the monastery! What a laugh, Sergius was my doctor! That's really Crazy! Thank God it was only a nightmare!