She laughs and pushes the box over to me. “I love that you know that. Go on, open it.” I take the box. The lid closes like a flower, and I unfurl the petals. It contains a single chocolate truffle. I smile and take it out. “Happy birthday,” she says. “Thank you.” I bite it, dividing it in two, and offer her the other half. She looks at it for a moment. “I bought it for you.” “And I’m choosing to share it.” I gesture for her to take it, and she does, popping it in her mouth. “Off down the rabbit hole,” she says. I don’t quite get the reference, but I smile anyway, because she’s quirky, and I like that. She also has an amazing voice. When we first met, I was sure I recognized it, but I can’t think where from. We eat the truffle, which is rich and dark, then have a sip of wine. “Thank you,” I say, genuinely touched that she bothered. She wrinkles her nose. “Least I could do after you paid for dinner.” “Like I said, I’m old fashioned.” She smiles. “So come on then, tell me.Ali
Are you going to stay the night?” she asks. “I’ll understand if you’d rather go.” Her words seem emotionless, even cold. She doesn’t care what I do.I can’t get angry at her, because she hasn’t led me along at any point. Okay, she didn’t tell me up front that she only wanted a one-night stand, but I don’t blame her for that. I wasn’t particularly looking for more, either. She’s been very frank. I can’t really get upset because she’s treated me like a human vibrator. I should be thrilled. I had great fun, enjoyable sex, and no commitment. Every guy’s dream, right? Don’t be a pussy, Kip.But for some reason, maybe because I heard from Lesley, because of the unpleasant exchange with Craig yesterday, or because the connection I’ve had with Alice has made me realize that I’m actually quite lonely, I feel a sweep of self-pity and resentment.Then Alice moves, and I look down and see her rub her nose. I slide a hand beneath her chin and lift it so I can see her face. Her eyes shine with u
We don’t speak as the car sinks to the ground floor. There are several other people in with us, and anyway, I can’t think of anything to say. I want to blurt out my surname and where I live and tell him to call me, but what’s the point? I need to sever this neatly, because I’m sure it’ll make it easier than hanging onto hope that one day in a year or two’s time, we’ll somehow have a fairy tale ending.The doors open, and we walk into the lobby. Halfway across, we stop and turn to one another.“Thank you,” I tell him. “I’ve had a fantastic time, and you were amazing. I really appreciate you being so patient and kind.”He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Thank you for letting me be your first.” He brushes his thumb across my lips. “Can I give you a last kiss?”I hesitate, because I know I should say no, but the word won’t form. Taking that as affirmation, he slips a hand to the nape of my neck. He’s wearing his glasses, but he lifts them onto his hair, then moves up close a
She told me that she cares for her mother twenty-four-seven, which must mean she’s been confined to her home since she was sixteen. Reading must have been a comfort to her, something she could fit around looking after her mum. Maybe she started by doing a blog reviewing books and movies, and the podcast grew out of that. She’s done extremely well for herself, though, to develop it as well as she has.How does she make a living out of it, though? She must monetize her podcasts. I remember something then and g****e Wonderland and P*****n. Yeah, I was right—you can support her on P*****n and get extra interviews, reviews, discussions, and even merchandise. She’s also running a Kickstarter campaign to fund a proper studio that’s already passed its target amount. Wow. She’s quite the entrepreneur. Now I’m really impressed.Why didn’t she tell me any of this? I’d have been fascinated and would have loved to chat to her about it. But even as I form the question, I know the answer. It’s the sa
Mum looks away, toward the dining room table, and I follow her gaze. Sitting on the surface is a bouquet of flowers.Slowly, I get to my feet and go over to the table. The bouquet is wrapped in cellophane and tied with a big red bow. I count the flowers inside—it contains two dozen crimson roses.Claire appears beside me, and says, “Ohhh…”I remove the envelope that’s stapled to the cellophane, open it, and retrieve the card inside. It says, “Thanks for a great evening. You left me smiling like the Cheshire Cat. Kip x.” It ends with a“Cheshire Cat?” Charlie says. “Oh shit. He knows who you are.”“What does it say?” Mum asks.Claire reads out the card, while I stare at the flowers and cover my mouth with a hand.Did he know all along? Or did he just Google me when I left, the same way I did him?“Who is he?” June asks.I lift the bouquet, open the cellophane at the top, and sniff inside. Oh, they smell amazing. I turn to face them, still holding the bouquet. “His name’s Kip C
Least I could do after the orgasms you gave me.”I smile and blush. I did make him come. Several times. It gives me a warm feeling in my tummy.I don’t know what he meant about the distance between us being a hurdle rather than an obstacle. It’s not just the distance. I look after my mum, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. Maybe he’s thinking of suggesting getting someone in to care for her, but she wouldn’t want that. She’s a very private person, and I know she’d feel terribly embarrassed about having a stranger do some of the intimate things I have to do for her.I don’t want to lead him on. But I like him so much.On the other end of the line, I hear footsteps on tiles, the scrape of metal, then the squeak of furniture.“What are you doing?” I ask.“I opened the sliding doors so I could smell the jasmine,” he says. “It reminds me of your perfume.”“Aw.”“Now I’m lying on the sofa. What’s it like in your garden?”“It’s a lovely evening here. I’m sitting in front o
Chloe told me you’d moved in with Renée.”“You’ve spoken to her?”“I went to your house.”He studies the carpet for a moment. “Is she okay?”I feel sick to my stomach. “No, she’s not okay, you fucking idiot. She’s having to travel to the other side of the world with a four-month-old baby on her own.”“She doesn’t have to go,” Renée says.I look at him, not her. “Maybe she felt the need to see her parents, to have some support after her husband walked out on her, you know?”He lifts his gaze back to me. “It’s easy to pass judgment when you don’t know the whole story.”“No, I don’t, because you haven’t told me. I thought we were friends. I thought you’d talk to me if you were considering something as serious as walking out of your marriage.”“And have you lecture him about duty and responsibility?” Renée snorts. “Mr. Self-Righteous.”“Renée,” he snaps.“Oh, grow a pair,” she tells him. “Stand up for yourself.”He meets my eyes and then drops his gaze again. And it’s then tha
I’m not going to stop saying nice things to you, Chantel . You’ll have to get used to it.”I don’t reply, not sure how I feel about that.“You want kids?” he asks.“We’ve been on one date, Kip.”“I meant generally.”“Oh. I… don’t know. I try not to think about the future too much. I don’t know whether it’s even a possibility for me yet. The life expectancy of people with M.S. is five to ten years lower than average, but Mum’s only fifty, and…” I trail off, feeling guilty for even thinking about it.“I understand,” he says softly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”“It’s okay. It’s just… I know what it must sound like, as if I’m some kind of martyr. I don’t mean to be like that. And when Charlie’s qualified, and she’s home sharing the care, maybe I’ll be able to get out and about a bit. I’m just conscious that Mum isn’t going to get any better. She’s only going to need more looking after. And so I can’t make plans.”“I know.”“It’s not that I don’t want to…”“I know, Alice.
Mum, I’m fine.” Irritably, I drop my arm, walk over to one of the armchairs, and drop into it. I know I’m being mulish, but it’s taking all my willpower just to stop myself walking out. I’m too miserable to make an effort.I’ve never been the sort of person to want to talk through my problems, and to be fair my family knows this and they all ignore me for the next hour or so, while Pamela, our housekeeper, brings in the food that Pierre, the chef, has made. I pass on all of it, sickened at the thought of swallowing anything except the whisky. Why have I never thought about the fact that we have our own chef? How decadent is that?About every five seconds, I check my phone to see if Alice has texted me, but the screen remains dark, and my Apple watch refuses to buzz against my wrist to announce an incoming call. Slowly knocking back the whiskies, and taking off my glasses, I grow more morose as the evening goes on, having to sit there and listen to everyone cooing over the babies and t
“It was a-mazing,” she says. “I had a glass of champagne and a piece of a fantastic chocolate torte. So good.”I grin as we cross to the car. “There’s something to be said for having a rich boyfriend.” I open the car and start helping Mum into the passenger seat.“Absolutely.” Charlie concentrates on getting her suitcase into the boot, helps me attach the wheelchair to the rack at the back that Kip had fitted for me, then gets into the back seat.I glance at her in the rear-view mirror before starting the engine and pulling away. “Everything okay, sweetie? You’ve lost weight, and you’re“Oh, just been working super-hard. I’ve got a dissertation this year, and the assessments are coming thick and fast, too.”“Are you eating well?” Mum asks. Charlie has a student allowance and a loan, and she works in a bar in the evenings and at the weekends, but Mum and I both know money is tight for her. We suspect that, like with a lot of students, her diet suffers occasionally so she can pay her re
Come for me.” She begins to move on top of me again, and I close my eyes as pleasure spirals through me. “Come on, baby,” she murmurs, teasing my lips with hers as the rock of her hips drives me in and out of her. “Let me hear those wonderful deep groans. Let me feel your muscles tighten as you come inside me.”There’s no stopping it now—her body is slim and soft and warm in my hands, all sensual curves and dips, and she’s so warm and wet, and I don’t have to claw my way to a climax, I just have to lean back and relax against the sofa cushions and let it wash over me in wonderful waves. It feels amazing, my muscles tightening deep inside, and her mouth is on mine, drinking in my gasps of pleasure, my body jerking and pulsing what feels like a dozen times, before it finally calms.I open my eyes and look straight into hers“Hello,” she says, and kisses“Hey.” I sigh.“Missed you,” she says, and then she nestles against me, with me still inside her, and we sit like that for a long time,
“Stop it. You know what I mean.”“What kind of a snob do you think I am? I know not everyone’s house is like mine.”“Catie told me you grew up in a mansion.”“Well, yeah, okay, that is“She said it has a pool and a billiard room and a theater room, and you all had your own separate apartments there.”“Yes, that’s true…”“She said you get to it via a cable car.”“Look, I’m not saying my family isn’t wealthy. I know not everyone is the same, that’s all, and I don’t judge other people by what they do and don’t have. Give me some credit.”My face warms. “I’m sorry.”“It’s okay.”“You want to put me over your knee?”He gives a short laugh. “You keep teasing me and one day I’m going to do just that.”It’s the first time he’s mentioned sex in our conversations since I came home, and it sends heat all the way through me. “Ooh. I’ve just had a hot flush.”“Oh… that idea turned you on, did it?”“Everything about you turns me on.”He sighs. “I miss you.”“I miss you too.”“Not long until Valenti
I shake my head. My chest is hurting so much that for a moment I wonder whether the coronary I foretold earlier has actually come to pass. But it’s just my throat muscles clenching, locked in a spasm of grief that I fight to hold in.I don’t know whether she truly meant that, or if she said it to make both of us feel better. It must be the latter? Surely I’m not the only one here who’s fallen in love?I look into her eyes. They plead with me not to say it. And they shine with all the emotion she’s trying to hold in.Clearly, I’m not the only one.There is no obvious solution. The path ahead is blocked by brambles, and I can’t see my way clear. I can’t control this situation, any more than I could control what happened with Christian. For the first time in years, panic rises inside me at my impotence, a word no man ever wants to encounter.I take a deep, shaky breath, and blow it out slowly. Alice has feelings for me, and I need to take consolation from that, and hope that the way ahea
As her body gives up its tension, and she flops back onto the table, I place tender kisses on either side of her thighs, then get to my feet and lean over her, pressing my throbbing erection between her legs through my boxer-briefs.Her arms are across her face, and she lifts them a little to peer up at me. “You have a magnificent tongue,” she states.I thrust my hips, driving my erection up through her swollen folds, and she groans and wraps her legs around me again. I continue to move my hips, and Jesus it’s so tempting to stay there and thrust myself to a climax, but this is our last night together, and it’s only been minutes since we walked in the door.Gritting my teeth, I move back, take her hand, and pull her upright. “You drive me wild,” I tell her, pressing my lips to“I driveyouwild? I’m the one who just lost the plot.” She lets me kiss her, grumbling, “I can taste myself.”I slip a hand beneath her, coat a finger with her moisture, then lift it and smear it across her botto
Depression is common in people with M.S.,” Alice says, “because of the pain and the fatigue and constant complications. We work hard to focus on the positive things in our lives, but she has days where it all gets too hard for her. And she hates that she’s holding me back from living a normal life. When she’s really bad, she cries and says it would be better if she wasn’t here. I find that hard to handle.”“Of course you do. I’m so sorry.”“Her dark moods don’t tend to last long because she knows they upset me. I try to keep little treats for days like those. We go out in the car to the waterfront and look at the statues of Captain Cook and Young Nick—he was Captain Cook’s cabin boy, and he was the first person on the Endeavour to spot the New Zealand coastline.”“Oh, I didn’t“Yeah, Mum’s quite into Kiwi history. Sometimes we go to Dad’s grave and sit there and chat about him. Or we go to the Eastwoodhill Arboretum and just immerse ourselves in nature. I’ll make us something special
That makes me laugh. “Fair enough.”He kisses my lips, long and luscious, then lifts his head and kisses my nose. “Am I squashing you?”“Yes, but I like it. All the things you said about me—I like how we’re different, too. Women are encouraged to believe they can do anything men can do, and it implies we’re the same, but we’re not.”He moves his hips against mine. ““Mmm, but it’s not just about that. You’re taller, broader, stronger, and more muscular.” I run my hands up his biceps, feeling the hard bulges there. “Your hands are larger. You have hair in places I don’t—your face, chest, and belly. Your voice is deeper, and you have this.” I brush a finger down his Adam’s apple.“But it’s not just that,” I continue thoughtfully. “Before she fell ill, my mum was spirited and independent, and she brought me and Charlie up to be the same. But she also thought it important that we be ladylike and feminine. She taught us to sit with our knees together, and to be conscious of our posture and
My erection springs to life as she sucks. I remove my thumb and kiss her again, this time allowing the full heat of my passion to sear through us both.She’s so soft—her skin, her breasts, her mouth. I cup her left breast in my hand, feeling its weight like a ripe fruit. I’ve never seen such pale nipples on a woman, the lightest pink, barely darker than the rest of her skin, and they also feel soft, like velvet petals. I tease one with my thumb, then tug it gently until it stiffens. She gives a little moan against my mouth, so I do it again, harder this time, and she sighs, then leans her forehead on my shoulder.“What’s the matter, Alice?” I kiss her ear, then the skin beneath it. “We’ve only just started.”“I know, but I’ve been…” she tips her head back, “aaahhh… thinking about this for weeks, and… aaahhh… you make meI tease her earlobe with my tongue while I continue to tug her nipple. “Where?”“Aw, don’t make me say it.”I laugh and tug her earlobe between my teeth. “Why not?”“D