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The choices we make 73
“No, you are perfect just the way you are” Tariana reassured her and drew her into a tight hug. After a long hug, Tariana went to sit down at her seat and Mary took several sips of the, mostly cold, tea. “I know your friends in Domne means a lot to you, I won’t suggest you don’t contact them. But you can’t let them decide who you are Mary” Tariana told her. Mary furrowed her eyebrows, she had never thought about it like that.“But shouldn’t I be open for the opinion of other people?” Mary asked.“You should, it’s part of what makes us grow. But you need to first decide if the opinion is a valid one. You need to know yourself and then be honest about if the opinion you are given is a valid one. I know this is hard for you because you have been told things about yourself that aren’t true for a long time” Tariana explained. “For the time being, if you feel like there is something you think you need to change with yourself, go to Bettina, Kopa or even me. We will be honest with you. As yo
Last Updated : 2023-08-25The choices we make 74
Kopa was right. The day after Mary told Bettina she wanted to try and become an aari, Bettina made sure they had a big family feast. When Kopa got home that day, the table in the dining room was already full of food and the three of them had a joyful evening eating, laughing, and talking. Kopa and Mary played Kai as Bettina tried to talk Mary into going to the seamstress to get new dresses made for her. She would need them when she started studying to become an aari. Mary refused, it would be a waste of money if she didn’t make it.The week passed by, and Mary was almost back to her new usual self. She still hadn’t responded to the letter, she kept putting it off. When Saturday came around Mary had decided she probably owed Tenac an apology. He came and picked her up as usual and they started to walk along the street. He led her along the river today. After a while Mary had gathered enough courage to talk about what she felt she had to. “Tenac, I need to apologise to you” she started
Last Updated : 2023-08-26The choices we make 75
“That works for me. But after next week I will only be able to meet you on the weekend for two weeks” Mary told him.“Have Bettina started you on regular patient meetings?” Tenac asked.“No. I’m going to take part in the aari evaluations” Mary said looking gown at her feet. She still felt insecure about her decision. She noticed that Tenac had stopped. She turned around and looked at him.“That is amazing news Mary. I’m so happy for you”“Thank you, but we don’t know if I will be accepted or not” she said.“I have a feeling that won’t be an issue” he said giving her a big smile.“Thank you Tenac”“That means we need to try and work the lessons in around both our schedules” he told her.“We don’t know if I will have a schedule yet” she reminded him.“Mhm, yeah, we do. But we will work it out” he told her. Mary didn’t know why everyone was so sure she would make the cut. But it made her nervous and happy at the same time.The week flew by, Mary didn’t know what she was most nervous abou
Last Updated : 2023-08-26The choices we make 76
Mary patted Buttercup goodbye and as she walked out of the box Tenac chuckled and shook his head.“What?” she asked. He walked up to her and plucked several straws of hay out of her hair.“How did you even manage to get it on top of your head?” he asked.“I’m not as tall as you” Mary pointed out with a smile, and they started walking out of the stable.“Is Addon your horse?” Mary asked.“He is, do you want to see him?” Tenac asked.“I would love to”“Okay, come along, he’s in another stable” Tenac told her and lead her outside.“These two stables” Tenac said, pointing at the one they just exited and the one next to it. “They hold the general horses. Any rider or aari can use them after letting the stable master know. The two stables over there” he said pointing at two stables that stood at a nighty degree angle of each other. “Are where the horses that are owned by a rider are” he continued. “The last stable over there is for the horses owned by aari. Not many aari have horses, they m
Last Updated : 2023-08-27The choices we make 77
When Monday came around, Mary was as nervous as she had ever been. The thought of starting the evaluation and actually knowing if she could start to train was making her stomach clench into a ball of anxiety. As she sat at the breakfast table, trying to eat, her mind was going in a million different directions. She didn’t know what type of test the evaluation would include, she should have asked, she realized. What if they asked her to do magic? She didn’t know anything about that. Kopa and Bettina were watching her as she poked her sausage and moved her eggs around the plate, without realising what she was doing.“Try and eat something Mary” Bettina gently said, placing a piece of bread next to Mary’s plate.“Yeah” Mary said quietly and stated pulling the bread apart, making crumbles that mostly fell onto her plate.“Mary, they will ask you to register your name at the start of the evaluation” Kopa told her, Mary nodded. That had been mentioned in the information that Kopa had receiv
Last Updated : 2023-08-27The choices we make 78
Soon they were joined in the boat by a middle-aged man and woman. Jontak cast of and steadily started to row towards the sanctum.“I’m so excited to see how it looks inside” Firlea said, grasping Mary’s hand.“It’s amazing, I can’t even describe it” Mary told her.“You have been there?” Firlea asked chocked.“Yes, twice. With my father,” Mary said. She didn’t feel like she should mention that she knew the Lady. In case she did terrible at her tests, she didn’t want it to reflect back to Tariana. Jontak gave her a look that asked her why she didn’t tell them who she was. She just shrugged her shoulders a bit and hoped he would get the hint and not say anything. It seemed to work and the rest of the trip over to the sanctum were spent in silence. As Jontak helped Mary out of the boat at the sanctum he smiled at her.“Good luck Mary, I will let Tenac know you arrived safely at least” he said.“Thank you for your help, Jontak, have a good day” Mary said as she made her way towards the aar
Last Updated : 2023-08-28The choices we make 79
“Do you think that is true?” Firlea whispered to Mary.“I don’t know. But it shouldn’t matter what position you have. Being an aari is about helping people, to make life better for others. You can do that even from the lower positions I assume” Mary whispered back. Firlea nodded. They continued to talk, trying to ignore the other woman as best they could. After a while Mildy walked over to the tables together with a group of trainees. The trainees spread out two to each table.“Please grab your cloaks and follow the trainees designated to your table” Mildy told them. They all obeyed as quickly as they could and were soon being lead in different directions. Mary’s and Firlea’s group started to climb some stone stairs. They seemed to go on for ever, until they reached a door. The trainee in front of them opened the door and Mary realised they were up on the roof. The roof on the sanctum was flat with a wall that ran around the outer edge, about shoulder high. All over the roof there wer
Last Updated : 2023-08-28The choices we make 80
Mary and Firlea stood by and watched the exchange between Tenac and Limia. Mary had stopped worrying and actually found it entertaining. She refused to look at Firlea, knowing that if she did, they would both be unable to keep from laughing.“Couldn’t you take me?” Limia asked.“No, I have promised Mary to walk her home” Tenac lied, looking pleading at Mary.“Yes, my father is a bit overprotective, and he knows Tenac” Mary agreed, proud of herself that she kept a straight face.“Oh, if you think she, a simpleton, is more important than me, the granddaughter of a councilman, then I guess that will do” Limia sounded close to tears.“Don’t you know who Mary is?” Tenac asked irritated.“Tenac, don’t” Mary told him. This caused Limia, Firlea and Limia’s friend to look at Mary. Mary could see Limia assessing her, wondering what she had missed. “Firlea, will you be okay on your own?” Mary asked.“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning in our usual spot” she told Mary, making it sound as
Last Updated : 2023-08-30
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The choices we make 101
“We finished Procecsa’s experiments today, and we think we can see a pattern,” Mary told Tariana excited. She didn’t know how Tariana already knew about it, but it was the only thing exciting which had happened lately. Tariana laughed again.“That is exciting to hear, but no. I was thinking about the fact that you have gotten some control over your fire magic,” Tariana smiled.“Oh, that. Yes, Procecsa helped me with it last night,” Mary said. She didn’t understand what was so exciting about that.“Do you think you could summon it now?” Tariana asked.“I think so,” Mary nodded. Tariana stood and went over to the bookcase. She got a small tray and walked back, placing it on the desk in front of Mary. On the tray there was a candle, an empty bowl, a feather, a pile of what looked like soil, and a plate with a dried bean.“Please light the candle,” Tariana asked Mary. Mary focused and after a while she found the now familiar feeling of her fire magic. The candle lit. “Fill the bowl with w
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The time until the winter solstice went by quickly and before she knew it, Mary was running around the equipment she had helped Procecsa set up the day before the solstices. They were outside the wall, on a flat part of the plain. The grass had been cut down and a light dusting of snow barely covered the ground. The area was guarded by grey riders. Not for the fear of someone sabotaging their experiments, but to keep curious people away. There was a lot of preparation to be made. Luckily for Mary, she had already done this a couple of times before. According to magical theory, occasions such as the winter solstice and full moons could affect magic in different ways. But to Mary’s surprise, it had never been proven, even though everyone used the principle. Procecsa had therefore designed an experiment to perform some basic magic, which was easy to perform and evaluate the effect of and repeat this during the different beneficial celestial occasions. They had already done the control ro
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“I would love to,” Mary said, looking at him. “But I don’t want to take time away from you seeing your family. I know you don’t get to see them that often,” she said. Tenac shrugged.“I will visit them as often as I can while they are here. It’s okay, I wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t,” he said.“Okay, then I would love to come.”“Good. Now let’s get you a new horse,” he smiled.“No, Tenac. I have told you, Buttercup will do,” Mary objected.“I’m not letting you anywhere near my grandfather whilst you are riding Buttercup, Mary. If you are going to visit a Che’hul camp, you can’t be on a horse like her,” he said. Mary looked at him. She really wanted to go with him to visit his family. Her curiosity and thirst for new things was going crazy at the thought of getting to see this whole new culture. At the same time, it felt like she was betraying Buttercup. The horse had been patient with her from the start. Mary recognised Tenac was dangling the visit to the Che’hul camp as an incent
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“In my case?” Mary asked.“For some reason, you have been conditioned to suppress your fire. Most likely not in an effort to suppress the magic, but a characteristic which goes with it. Like anger,” Procecsa said. Mary could hear that she tried to be gentle. Mary sat quietly for a while and thought things through. Her time in the kitchen had made her put a tight lead on her emotions, especially anger, but also passion and love. It would have been the last thing she did in the castle if she had become angry with someone higher up the rank than her. Which had been most people.“So, what do I do? Do I have to get angry at Tenac?” Mary asked, making Procecsa laugh.“No, I don’t think he deserves it. He’s just trying to help you, after all” she smiled at Mary.“I need to get angry at someone else?” Mary asked, confused.“I don’t know if you need to get angry at anyone, Mary. I think it would be okay just for you to accept it is okay for you to get angry. Just to allow yourself to experienc
The choices we make 97
It had been over six months since Mary had started her training, and each day offered new opportunities to learn and to explore the world. She discovered she had a craving for learning. The more she learnt, the more questions she had. Her mentor, Procecsa, had picked up on this and gave Mary more and more books to read. Mary was helping her mentor with all sorts of experiments. Procecsa was good at explaining things in a way Mary understood them. In just a few weeks, the winter solstice was to take place and Mary was looking forward to it. Several of the experiments that Procecsa had Mary help with depended on it. In the class for basic magic, they had learned certain celestial events could impact magic. The winter solstice was one of those. Mary was to assist her mentor in trying to figure out just how much it affected certain types of magic. Mary found the whole thing fascinating and couldn’t wait to get to see the results. After the solstice, they would have a two-week break. It wa
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Zerden stood looking at the men under his command. They were training, and they looked tired. Zerden knew he had been pushing them hard this past month. His bad mood had made him irritable, and every mistake was now punished with a gruelling training session. He knew he needed to back off a bit. His men were well trained and the minor mistakes they made didn’t warrant this punishment. Zerden needed to get his temper back in check. Which was easier said than done. It would be easier if he just had known why he was in such a bad mood. If he was honest with himself, he knew why. He just wasn’t up for admitting it just yet. So instead, his bad mood continued and everyone around him endured and stayed out of his way as much as they could.“Don’t forget to put everything back before you head to get dinner,” he shouted. He didn’t wait around to make sure they did what he told them. No one wanted to disobey him at the moment. He walked inside and headed to his room in the castle. Zerden had j
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“Sure, happy to help,” Jontak said, smiling. Firlea looked at Mary, slightly panicked. Mary smiled at her.“Thanks, Jontak,” Mary said. She and Sinhera looked as Jontak and Firlea left the shop.“Not the smoothest hint, but I think that will do,” Sinhera smiled.“It’s a good start at least,” Mary nodded.“What are you two plotting?” Tenac asked as he walked up to them. “And where are Jontak and your friend?”“Firlea needed ink. Jontak escorted her there as it’s her first time to the market,” Mary smiled at him.“You two are scaring me. Please don’t help me like that, ever,” he said. Both Mary and Sinhera laughed. They waited for the two to return before heading towards the weapons stalls. There were a lot of different weapons. Some Mary didn’t even know the names of and couldn’t figure out how to use.“Do you want to look at a new knife, Mary?” Jontak asked her.“No thank you, I’m happy with the one I have,” she told him.“Do you even know how to use it?” Tenac asked her.“Well, it’s
The choices we make 94
As Mary got back to her room, both her friends were sitting in the bay window reading. Mary had things she needed to read as well. But she felt like she needed to write her last letter. She wanted to let go of the past. She settled down at her desk and stared down at the empty paper in front of her. This was going to be difficult.‘Dear Anna,I’m so pleased to hear that things are looking up for you. That gives me hope this wave of the sickness will fade as well. I want to thank you for your kind words. They mean so much to me and I will always remember them. I told my father about your kind words, and he was grateful. That brings me to the difficult part of this letter. This is not something which is easy for me to write, or to think about doing. But I feel like it has to be done. Last time I wrote, I was taking the acceptance test to become an aari. Well, as you predicted, I made it and have now moved into the sanctum to start my training. With my training, my lessons with Tenac an
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“What did you need to talk about?” Kopa said, as the two of them sat down at the table. “I read the letter you gave me,” Mary started. “And you got upset?”“Not like last time. I’m angry this time, more than I’m sad,” Mary admitted, which earned her a surprised look from Kopa.“I know. Who knew?” she said, laughing at his expression.“So, what advice do you need?”“I think I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I should do it, or if I really want to,” Mary told him. “Okay, can you tell me what made you angry?” Kopa asked.“Do you promise to stay calm?” Mary asked.“I do”“I won’t go into details, but the jest of it is that Zerden told me I was a disappointment for choosing to live my life the way I am. For the choices I have made since coming here,” Mary said, looking at Kopa. He had clenched his jaw and there was a muscle tick above his right eye. But he kept his promise and stayed calm, at least on the surface. It made Mary smile. “Are you okay, dad?”“Fine. The letter was
