“Not for a long time,” he said, sounding just as sad. Mary couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t talk to her parents and the neighbours didn’t want to help her, and now she couldn’t see Erik. She felt completely alone and isolated in the world. The tears welled up and began to run down her cheeks. Erik stood on the other side of the courtyard and looked at her unhappily. He didn’t know what to do.
“Dad said the Lady’s coming tonight. Maybe she can help your parents and then maybe we can play again,” he said.
“Who’s the Lady?” asked Mary, sobbing.
“Dad says that before the church existed, it was the Lady who was the church. But when the king’s ancestor founded the church, the Lady left. But now she’s coming back to help us get rid of the sickness.” Mary listened to what he said. She stopped crying and was now wiping her cheeks.
“But how could she be the church?” she asked. “Women can’t be priests.”
“What do I know?” Erik said, shrugging. “I have to go now,” he added, looking at her. She nodded and looked back at him.
“Bye,” she said, waving a little.
“Bye,” he replied, walking toward the gate leading out to the alley. When he closed it behind him, he turned around and looked at her again before running away. Mary stood at the door and looked after him. She was alone now, and apparently, she would be alone until her parents recovered. She stood for a while longer but then got up and picked up the basket she had left on the table in the kitchen and then went out and closed the door carefully behind her. She looked at the two goats. She was going to milk them when she got home. Then she went out into the big city and took small alleys leading up to the main square where the market was located.
It wasn’t that far from their house, and soon she stood on the edge of the open area, looking out over the market. There were very few stalls set up, but at least it filled half the market area. The sound coming from the open space in the middle of the city was almost deafening. There were vendors shouting out their goods, customers and sellers discussing the price, women stood in small groups and talked and here and there, men were exchanging news. All the sound was mixed into a murmur that basically made it impossible to hear the individual conversations unless you were very close. Mary’s nose caught scents as she walked towards the market. It smelled of spices and fried meat, and she could smell fish. She walked slowly between the different stalls. She loved going to the market. There was so much to look at. After walking around the marketplace for most of the morning, she had been able to buy the vegetables and meat that she needed. It had taken all of the skills she had in negotiating to get the meat at a price that still left her with some money. As she was making her way back, she walked past the stall where they sold grilled pieces of meat rolled together with onions in a piece of thin bread. Mary’s stomach growled when she smelled the meat. She shouldn’t be wasting money, she thought. But she was so hungry. In the end, she couldn’t resist and went up to the stall and asked for a roll. She happily placed two vorm in the hand of the woman who gave her the roll. Mary quickly looked around and then decided to walk away to a fence that was on the edge of the market. There was already a group of women talking and she quickly climbed up and sat on the fence after she had placed her basket on the ground below her. Once up, she enjoyed the warm meat. It was cold outside, but the sun was shining and the buildings around the square and all the people crowded around her meant that the wind could not get to Mary where she was eating. The women standing nearby were talking. After a while, Mary began to listen. It wasn’t nice to eavesdrop. But it’d been so long since she’d been around people it felt nice to listen to other people’s conversations for a while.
“The bishop is furious,” said the first woman.
“No wonder,” said the other. “It’s been over a hundred years since a Lady set foot in this city.”
“I don’t know what she’s going to do with her witchcraft,” said a third.
“The king thinks she can cure the sickness,” said the first woman.
“Balderdash,” said the third. “What will she do that the church can’t do?”
“I’ve heard they can do things no one else can, they have knowledge that was forgotten by the rest of the world.”
“Balderdash,” the third woman said again. “The only thing that will cure the sickness is if the people of this city become pious, start going to church like decent people, and live with a good measure of godliness in their hearts.”
“I heard the king is tired of the bishop just promising to do something without anything happening. He is afraid the sickness will soon reach the richer parts of the city, or even the castle,” said the first woman.
“Balderdash,” said the third woman again; it seemed to be her favourite expression. “Who said such nonsense?” she asked.
“My husband’s cousin knows a man who works at court,” replied the first woman defiantly.
“I don’t believe it anyway. The king knows, as well as anyone, that the only one who can save us is the Lord,” said the third woman with a sneer. It seemed to put an end to the conversation and after that they were content to gossip about different common acquaintances. Mary soon got tired of listening and climbed down from the fence and took her basket. The meat and bread eaten, she felt full and satisfied. As she made her way through the sea of people to go home, she thought about what the women had said. Did the King really think that the Lady could cure people from the sickness? Or was the third woman right—was only God able to cure it? She felt uncertain. On the one hand she deeply wished there was someone who could cure her parents, that someone could do something. On the other hand, she grew up putting her faith in God. They were His creation, and it was ultimately He who decided their fate.
Soon she opened the gate to their backyard and heard the goats’ bleats. She had to milk them soon, she thought. But first she wanted to check on her parents. She opened the door and entered the kitchen, where she placed the basket on the table before rushing up to the second floor. Her parents were almost the same way she had left them. She went up to the bed and felt their foreheads. Her mother felt cooler, and her eyes opened quickly as Mary touched her. Mary smiled at her and then felt her father’s forehead. His was really cool and Mary felt the hope grow stronger. He just groaned quietly as she gently patted him on the cheek. Strengthened by new hope, Mary returned down to the kitchen and quickly prepared a large pot of water that she let simmer before adding carrots, onions, pieces of an old turnip, some spices and finally the large piece of meat with bone. When she was sure the pot was softly boiling and the fire in the stove was good, she went out to milk the two goats. She wasn’t as good as her mother and from time to time one of the goats managed to kick the bucket and some milk splashed out. But after a while Mary was ready and she gave the goats a little more hay and removed most of the droppings from their stalls. With the bucket of milk in one hand and the stool in the other, she entered the house. There she drank plenty of milk. It was still lukewarm, and she enjoyed every mouthful. She put away the rest of the milk and thought she could make pancakes if she gathered some eggs. The chickens ran freely in the courtyard and always found new hiding places for their eggs. The idea of pancakes made her mouth water so much she chose to go out instead of checking on her parents.
Mary spent almost an hour looking for eggs. It was a fun job that felt more like a game than work. It’d been so long since she’d been able to play and be carefree that she let herself be engulfed in the hunt for the hidden eggs. But when she noticed it was starting to get dark, she thought the four eggs she had found were enough. She went in and put the eggs in the pantry to go up and check on her parents. The smell that came from the stove made her stomach growl, but she still went up the stairs. She stopped on the top step. Something was wrong; something wasn’t as it should be. Mary didn’t know what it was, but she rushed into the room.
Mary looked around and suddenly realized what was wrong, it was the sound of her parents’ breathing. It no longer sounded strained as it had done in the past week, but it was not the breathing that Mary used to lie and listen to when she couldn’t sleep when her parents had been healthy either. This breathing came quickly; it was as light as a feather and sometimes it seemed to stop for several minutes. Mary knew nothing about sickness, let alone death. But in her heart, she knew the breathing she heard from her parents was wrong. Something was very wrong. The panic quickly crept into her, and Mary felt it take a firm hold of her heart. Why had she stayed so long looking for eggs? She should have stayed inside and taken care of her parents. What would she do now? No one could or would help her. Mary sank to the floor in the middle of the room and cried. All the fear and sadness she had inside her came out in the desperate cry of a ten-year-old girl. After the worst of the crying subsid
The air went out of her when she landed on the roof of the carriage. The thud made people look up, and the riders closest to the carriage had heard the sound and stopped. The riders behind had seen something landing on the roof and quickly rode forward to investigate what it was. Mary felt hands grab her and try to pull her off the carriage. There was only one thought in her head: She had to talk to the Lady. She was desperately trying to find something to hold on to. But her hands found only the shiny, flat roof.“No!” she shouted. “No, I need to talk to her; she has to help me. Please, I need to talk to her.” Her cries were mixed with sobs. Tears of desperation rolled down her cheeks as she tried to fight her way free from the hands that pulled her from the roof and away from the carriage. “Please, I need to talk to her,” she almost shouted. The people around them looked on in amazement at the little girl who was desperately fighting the grey-clad men. More grey-clad people had form
Tariana sat and watched the sleeping girl. It had been a long journey from Salmisara to Dermes, and when something had crashed down on her carriage as they went through the city, her imagination had created the most horrible images. She shouldn’t have allowed herself to create such fantasies, but she blamed fatigue. When she discovered it was in fact a little girl, she had been surprised for a moment. It wasn’t often Tariana was surprised, but the small, slender girl with the desperate eyes had succeeded. Tariana remembered the desperation in the girl’s words, how her voice had been panicked. She could still see the tears which had flowed down her cheeks and how she had fought like a beast against Kopa and Term, who had tried to pull her away from the carriage. Tariana’s maternal instinct had awakened, and that’s why she had decided to hear what the girl wanted to say. She still had a hard time believing the story she had heard. Such a young girl had struggled to take care of herself
One afternoon the Lady came walking in with Mildy. Mary was no longer afraid or shy of the Lady, so she smiled when she saw her coming.“Come, Mary, and we’ll see if your new clothes fit,” said The Lady, reaching out to Mary. Mary jumped out of the window and took the Lady’s hand. It would be so exciting with new clothes. She tried on one dress after another. There were clothes for everyday life and for parties in all kinds of colours and shapes. Mary felt the knot in her stomach unknot a little and she smiled up at the Lady.“Thank you very much,” she said.“You still have a dress to try on” said the Lady, smiling. Mildy held it out so Mary could see. Mary stared at the dress and felt the tears rise in her eyes, this time out of joy. The dress was a small copy of the clothes those in the Lady’s company always wore. They differed from the clothes used in Dermes, but Mary thought they were incredibly beautiful. Now Mildy held out such a dress towards her. It was deep green and had wide
Mary walked up to the chest that stood by her bedside. It was her father’s chest. She took out the key she had around her neck and opened it. Therein were her father’s silver items, wrapped in cloth and straw. There was also a small bag of the money that Mr. Sansi had received from the sale of her parents’ estate. She searched the items until she found what she was looking for. She picked up a small parcel and unwrapped the fabric that protected the silver object. It wasn’t big but the rose was so cleverly made you’d think it had been a real rose that someone dipped in liquid silver. Mary knew her father had made it for her mother. He would have given it to her for her birthday. Mary was annoyed by a tear that ran down her cheek and wiped it away. She didn’t think her father would be offended if he knew what she was planning to do with it. She wrapped the rose back up and put it on the bed. Then she picked up a new parcel. She unwrapped it and saw a heavy silver buckle. It depicted a
When the last grey-clad riders had left the castle courtyard, the court turned around and entered the castle. Mary and the chatelaine remained while the castle courtyard slowly returned to the tumultuous chaos Mary had watched from the window.“Come, I don’t have time to stand here.” It was the chatelaine who spoke to Mary. Her voice was stern and thin. Mary turned to the chatelaine and waited for her to lead her to Mary’s new room. “I’ve made sure your things have been moved to your new room,” said the chatelaine as they walked towards the castle.“Thank you,” said Mary. They didn’t enter through the large doors where Mary had come out. Instead, they walked around the castle and entered through a much smaller door. Mary saw they entered the parts of the castle where the servants were staying. They rounded a corner and suddenly they were standing in the middle of the kitchen. It was the biggest kitchen Mary had ever seen. There were four huge fireplaces where the food was cooked. Ther
“Thank you, ma’am. It will certainly do just fine, and I promise to work just as well tomorrow,” Mary said and curtsied. Soon after, she swept through the corridors tightly on Jossi’s heels.“It’s forbidden to have men in the room,” Jossi said, looking over her shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about that for a couple of years, I guess. The room should be tidy and clean; sometimes both Mrs. Karrots and Mrs. Meata do inspections of the rooms. If you ask me, Mrs. Meata is a real bitch, so you better make sure to stay n her good graces,” Jossi continued. Mary nodded and followed the woman as she desperately tried to remember the way they were walking. Jossi stopped in front of a door. “This is your room. Toilet and bath are two doors farther in that direction,” she said, pointing. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, so you don’t get lost. Okay?” Mary nodded and Jossi left her outside the door. Mary opened the door and walked inside. The room was minimal. At one side stood a bed, next to
“Yes,” said Mrs. Karrots. “I think it can be arranged. I already have a new helper that I’m training,” she said, nodding toward Mary. “I guess another one wouldn’t be a big inconvenience. He’ll need to be here from the start of the day until we finish, and he’ll eat all the meals with us?”“That sounds agreeable, and I don’t want him to be treated any differently because he’s my son,” he said. Mrs. Karrots nodded, and the man disappeared from the kitchen, leaving the boy behind. The boy stood next to Mary and looked at Mrs. Karrots.“What’s your name, young man?” Mrs. Karrots asked him.“Zerden, ma’am,” he replied.“Nice to meet you. Mary here will show you where everything is and how we do things around here. I expect you to work hard and fast and do things the right way. Is that understood?” The boy nodded. “Excellent. Mary, take Zerden and bring water for the vegetables; two pots are enough today. When you are done, I want you to come to me. I have a special task for both of you,”
“We finished Procecsa’s experiments today, and we think we can see a pattern,” Mary told Tariana excited. She didn’t know how Tariana already knew about it, but it was the only thing exciting which had happened lately. Tariana laughed again.“That is exciting to hear, but no. I was thinking about the fact that you have gotten some control over your fire magic,” Tariana smiled.“Oh, that. Yes, Procecsa helped me with it last night,” Mary said. She didn’t understand what was so exciting about that.“Do you think you could summon it now?” Tariana asked.“I think so,” Mary nodded. Tariana stood and went over to the bookcase. She got a small tray and walked back, placing it on the desk in front of Mary. On the tray there was a candle, an empty bowl, a feather, a pile of what looked like soil, and a plate with a dried bean.“Please light the candle,” Tariana asked Mary. Mary focused and after a while she found the now familiar feeling of her fire magic. The candle lit. “Fill the bowl with w
The time until the winter solstice went by quickly and before she knew it, Mary was running around the equipment she had helped Procecsa set up the day before the solstices. They were outside the wall, on a flat part of the plain. The grass had been cut down and a light dusting of snow barely covered the ground. The area was guarded by grey riders. Not for the fear of someone sabotaging their experiments, but to keep curious people away. There was a lot of preparation to be made. Luckily for Mary, she had already done this a couple of times before. According to magical theory, occasions such as the winter solstice and full moons could affect magic in different ways. But to Mary’s surprise, it had never been proven, even though everyone used the principle. Procecsa had therefore designed an experiment to perform some basic magic, which was easy to perform and evaluate the effect of and repeat this during the different beneficial celestial occasions. They had already done the control ro
“I would love to,” Mary said, looking at him. “But I don’t want to take time away from you seeing your family. I know you don’t get to see them that often,” she said. Tenac shrugged.“I will visit them as often as I can while they are here. It’s okay, I wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t,” he said.“Okay, then I would love to come.”“Good. Now let’s get you a new horse,” he smiled.“No, Tenac. I have told you, Buttercup will do,” Mary objected.“I’m not letting you anywhere near my grandfather whilst you are riding Buttercup, Mary. If you are going to visit a Che’hul camp, you can’t be on a horse like her,” he said. Mary looked at him. She really wanted to go with him to visit his family. Her curiosity and thirst for new things was going crazy at the thought of getting to see this whole new culture. At the same time, it felt like she was betraying Buttercup. The horse had been patient with her from the start. Mary recognised Tenac was dangling the visit to the Che’hul camp as an incent
“In my case?” Mary asked.“For some reason, you have been conditioned to suppress your fire. Most likely not in an effort to suppress the magic, but a characteristic which goes with it. Like anger,” Procecsa said. Mary could hear that she tried to be gentle. Mary sat quietly for a while and thought things through. Her time in the kitchen had made her put a tight lead on her emotions, especially anger, but also passion and love. It would have been the last thing she did in the castle if she had become angry with someone higher up the rank than her. Which had been most people.“So, what do I do? Do I have to get angry at Tenac?” Mary asked, making Procecsa laugh.“No, I don’t think he deserves it. He’s just trying to help you, after all” she smiled at Mary.“I need to get angry at someone else?” Mary asked, confused.“I don’t know if you need to get angry at anyone, Mary. I think it would be okay just for you to accept it is okay for you to get angry. Just to allow yourself to experienc
It had been over six months since Mary had started her training, and each day offered new opportunities to learn and to explore the world. She discovered she had a craving for learning. The more she learnt, the more questions she had. Her mentor, Procecsa, had picked up on this and gave Mary more and more books to read. Mary was helping her mentor with all sorts of experiments. Procecsa was good at explaining things in a way Mary understood them. In just a few weeks, the winter solstice was to take place and Mary was looking forward to it. Several of the experiments that Procecsa had Mary help with depended on it. In the class for basic magic, they had learned certain celestial events could impact magic. The winter solstice was one of those. Mary was to assist her mentor in trying to figure out just how much it affected certain types of magic. Mary found the whole thing fascinating and couldn’t wait to get to see the results. After the solstice, they would have a two-week break. It wa
Zerden stood looking at the men under his command. They were training, and they looked tired. Zerden knew he had been pushing them hard this past month. His bad mood had made him irritable, and every mistake was now punished with a gruelling training session. He knew he needed to back off a bit. His men were well trained and the minor mistakes they made didn’t warrant this punishment. Zerden needed to get his temper back in check. Which was easier said than done. It would be easier if he just had known why he was in such a bad mood. If he was honest with himself, he knew why. He just wasn’t up for admitting it just yet. So instead, his bad mood continued and everyone around him endured and stayed out of his way as much as they could.“Don’t forget to put everything back before you head to get dinner,” he shouted. He didn’t wait around to make sure they did what he told them. No one wanted to disobey him at the moment. He walked inside and headed to his room in the castle. Zerden had j
“Sure, happy to help,” Jontak said, smiling. Firlea looked at Mary, slightly panicked. Mary smiled at her.“Thanks, Jontak,” Mary said. She and Sinhera looked as Jontak and Firlea left the shop.“Not the smoothest hint, but I think that will do,” Sinhera smiled.“It’s a good start at least,” Mary nodded.“What are you two plotting?” Tenac asked as he walked up to them. “And where are Jontak and your friend?”“Firlea needed ink. Jontak escorted her there as it’s her first time to the market,” Mary smiled at him.“You two are scaring me. Please don’t help me like that, ever,” he said. Both Mary and Sinhera laughed. They waited for the two to return before heading towards the weapons stalls. There were a lot of different weapons. Some Mary didn’t even know the names of and couldn’t figure out how to use.“Do you want to look at a new knife, Mary?” Jontak asked her.“No thank you, I’m happy with the one I have,” she told him.“Do you even know how to use it?” Tenac asked her.“Well, it’s
As Mary got back to her room, both her friends were sitting in the bay window reading. Mary had things she needed to read as well. But she felt like she needed to write her last letter. She wanted to let go of the past. She settled down at her desk and stared down at the empty paper in front of her. This was going to be difficult.‘Dear Anna,I’m so pleased to hear that things are looking up for you. That gives me hope this wave of the sickness will fade as well. I want to thank you for your kind words. They mean so much to me and I will always remember them. I told my father about your kind words, and he was grateful. That brings me to the difficult part of this letter. This is not something which is easy for me to write, or to think about doing. But I feel like it has to be done. Last time I wrote, I was taking the acceptance test to become an aari. Well, as you predicted, I made it and have now moved into the sanctum to start my training. With my training, my lessons with Tenac an
“What did you need to talk about?” Kopa said, as the two of them sat down at the table. “I read the letter you gave me,” Mary started. “And you got upset?”“Not like last time. I’m angry this time, more than I’m sad,” Mary admitted, which earned her a surprised look from Kopa.“I know. Who knew?” she said, laughing at his expression.“So, what advice do you need?”“I think I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I should do it, or if I really want to,” Mary told him. “Okay, can you tell me what made you angry?” Kopa asked.“Do you promise to stay calm?” Mary asked.“I do”“I won’t go into details, but the jest of it is that Zerden told me I was a disappointment for choosing to live my life the way I am. For the choices I have made since coming here,” Mary said, looking at Kopa. He had clenched his jaw and there was a muscle tick above his right eye. But he kept his promise and stayed calm, at least on the surface. It made Mary smile. “Are you okay, dad?”“Fine. The letter was