7-Helena

                           AVA

I've been working restlessly in the company ever since I took responsibility. 

The part that annoys me the most is how close the former manager had been to wrecking this company.  I have had to fix so much. 

If I hadn't intervened, my dad's sweat would have crumpled in the hands of one of his most trusted staff.

Sitting in the office all day, my mind keeps going back to my daughter. These days I barely have time for her and it hurts me so much. 

I don't want to be the kind of mother that neglects her daughter because of her work. I want to be actively present in her life, I hate to admit it but I'm almost becoming a workaholic mother. I miss Lissa. 

Ever since she came into my life, I've never gone a whole day without her until I started working here. 

I've even called Isabelle twice each hour to know how she was doing. With the thoughts of my daughter taking over my senses, I started packing my stuff. My life used to be carefree and fun with the love of my life, but now it was nothing but memories. I need Lissa to know that I love her and that I would do anything for her.

FLASHBACK FIVE YEARS AGO.

"Hey!" I shouted when Ryan swept me off my feet, chuckling while looking at his face which I just decorated with flour. I really love baking, especially with him. 

"Put me down!" I begged, pouting at him

"Not a chance Mrs. Ryan Howard." He firmly said, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck

I gulped at the sudden contact. Before I could find the right comeback, I was placed on the bed in our room with him hovering above me. 

"What. are you-?" the words were cut by the sudden capturing of my lips with his. 

I raised my hands, intending to run my fingers through his hair when his big hand held mine firmly above my head, while the other fondled with my breast. I nearly moaned out loud at the contact.

He suddenly stopped causing my eyes to shoot open to find him lying on the other side of the bed facing me.

"Why did you stop?" I asked him. My eyes were threatening to water. Does he not love me?

"Believe me, love. It's taking every bit of my self control to not take you right now. But I don't want to do that just yet," he paused, staring intently at me.

"I want to know you better first," he stated firmly.

END OF FLASHBACK.

If he really knew me after saying that, he wouldn't have believed them, if he came to know me as he had planned our marriage wouldn’t have fallen apart.

I was not used to driving in the dark, that's also one of the reasons I was leaving early. Don't get me wrong, my driving skills are superb. I'm just not ready to lose my precious life. I think I should bake apology cupcakes for Lissa, I've spent more than half a day without her. It's been a long time since the last time I baked anything... 

There were so many memories with Ryan attached to almost every baking item be it sugar, flour or even the damn pan.

Soon, I found a grocery store. I parked my car in front of it and walked inside. 

I was fond of making mental lists of what I needed whenever I entered into any store and thankfully, it always paid off.

When I was leaving the store, a lady mistakenly ran into me, causing the bag I was holding to fall. 

"I'm so sorry, let me help," she apologized, bending to pick up the bag

I let her pick it up, besides it's her fault, I wasn't the one typing off on her phone instead of keeping her eyes up. 

"Here, sorry for-" She stopped half way through her sentence when she saw my face.

"Ava!?" She gasped.

"Helena!" I exclaimed, excited to see her.

 I and Helena are very close, despite the fact that she was Ryan's cousin. She was the only one who kept in touch with me for a year after my divorce with Ryan.

"I've missed you, silly!"

"I've missed you too, how have you been?" I asked 

"I've been fine... with a kid and all." Did she just say kid? I didn’t know she had a child.

"You have kids? Like, you're actually married?" I asked in disbelief, with my mouth agape, "And got never informed me?"

"I didn't say married, miss, let's-go-into-conclusion." She said, rolling her eyes. 

Taking my free hand in hers, we walked to the parking lot of the grocery store. 

"I'm not married, okay? At least not yet," She explained, “But I have a son with my boyfriend and we are planning to take that step soon.”

Realization dawned on me and I formed an O shape with my mouth, 

"Well, just inform me when the wedding bells ring." I said, winking at her and she laughed.

"I definitely will, and by the way it's nice meeting you after so many years."

"Same here. I thought about calling you but I just couldn't, not after all that had happened" I explained sadly.

"I understand, but if there's anything you need to know, it's that I don't believe them one bit. I mean, I've known them very well and I'm sure it's more likely a set up."

"I'm glad to hear that, but it just doesn't change anything. What had happened was something I just didn't expect. Neither was the way everyone reacted to it, especially Ryan."

She let out a sigh and faced the ground,"I understand and I hope they all find out soon."

I wanted to ask her about Ryan, but decided against it, knowing who Helena is, she'll tell me on her own. I'm sure she'd tell him that we met, I know how chaotic it'll be. Ryan doesn't even want to know the truth about anything, he practically hates me for nothing. 

Do I hate him? No, I don't, I just can't find it in me to hate him... no matter how much I tried. I used to have a happy normal life and it was snatched away from me in one night. 

I slipped into my car after giving her my home address and telling her to visit soon. I drove with my mind deep in thoughts back home.