To Curse This World

I opened my eyes slowly, I felt a soft touch rotating over my hand. I stared at Merri, who was smiling freely for a moment. I am thankful.

"Merri, I'm glad to see you again..." I said softly.

'But my baby isn't here… my baby isn't here,' tears spilled from the corner of my eyes.

The flow was quite heavy and enough to make Merri flustered. Then several people came into my room. A doctor took my wrist softly. He checked my temperature. He says I have a fever.

Merri and my ladies-in-waiting were getting frustrated.

I had sat on the bed to drink medicine. I see the whole room of my room. Nothing changed much from the last time I remember. Maybe the presence of a shiny, arctic white tree in the middle of the room is giving me a clue of my return timeline.

That tree was a sort of form of welcome from the Royal Family to their new family members. Meaning, I returned to the time when I was newlywed. The wife of a Crown Prince.

"Your Highness, are you so sad that His Highness the Crown Prince has to go immediately to exterminate monsters at the border after the wedding feast?" Asked one of the ladies-in-waiting. Her name is Sophie von Blester from the Count family.

“Oh Your Highness, please don't worry. The Crown Prince is a tough knight, so he will definitely come back safely.” Who just replied was another lady-in-waiting, her name was Laura Kil Lanchester from the Count family as well.

Ha, that's right. At the beginning of our marriage, Hayden left me immediately to serve the border. I remember being sad about it. I heard several ladies mocking me behind their fans. Laughing at me who was left alone at a wedding feast without my husband present. At that time I ignored their sarcasm. On the pretext that my husband was on a duty for the Kingdom. And I am a wife who fully supports her husband's duties. My arguments embarrass them, while I gain confidence.

But if I think about it, maybe Hayden did it on purpose to embarrass me. Regardless of the circumstances, the Drachentia Kingdom had excellent warriors who could subdue monsters without having to get the Crown Prince to step in individually. Ha, why didn't I think about it back then?

Stupid.

And in all likelihood, these two ladies-in-waiting were Hayden’s spy. They were assigned to watch over me. I remember well how they set me up on some ridiculous accusations in court. Twisted the facts until I was thrown into a shabby dungeon.

“Out. Everyone beside Merri, out." I said coldly

"But Your Highness, we are-"

"How dare you defy me, a Crown Princess?"

They gasped. Eyes blinking. Maybe this is the first time they've heard my haughty and cold tone. I considered them as friends, although not close, we hang out quite often at some tea parties. Hence, when Hayden submitted their name as my ladies-in-waiting, I agreed.

I am so stupid.

'Why? Why did I go back as Fuschia? If you want to send me back, return me to my first life. Shit! Or at least return me to the days far before I become that bastard's wife!'

I'm stuck in a book that all seems to have been resolved. With Hayden on the throne as a noble-hearted prince, while I was the wicked villainess who injured that prince and bring shame to The Royal Family. Fuschia's role may only be written in one chapter in the book. But I already live here for ten years. And now I know the storyline is irreversible.

'Baby… are you lonely, honey?' Again, tears rolled down my cheeks. And whenever that happened, Merri would sit beside me.

It's been three days since I haven't left the room because of a fever. Even though the fever has gone down, I still lie on my bed grieving. I am tired of living.

I know every human will surely die. But I don't want another terrible death. So, may I die in peace? Or at least, I died of my own choice? Not because of being stabbed or beheaded horribly.

"Merri, accompany me to the Green Lake."

"With pleasure, Your Highness the Crown Princess," Merri looked happy, I saw her jumping lightly. She’s cute.

"Merri, call me by my name," I asked tenderly.

"H-how can I?"

"At least when it's just the two of us, call me by my name."

"But Your Highness-"

"Merri, do you want me to beg you?"

"What?! Of course not. How can I be that impudent?"

"Then please Merri, call me Miss Fuschia like when we were at the Duke's house."

'I don't want you to call me with that disgusting title,'

Merri nodded sheepishly. She really is a kind and hardworking young girl. She is the only maid who’s willing to look after my baby. Even when the other servants ignore us.

We walked quite a distance. Until finally we arrive at the lake. Where the water never recedes during the dry season, and never freezes during winter. Nobody knows how deep the lake is, because whoever falls in it never returns to the surface to tell.

It is quite strange to come to this kind of lake, where there is another lake that is more beautiful and famous for a noble lady to take a walk around.

'Hmph. There's no guarantee I'll be able to see my baby again. And even if I meet my baby, I still can't change the plot. My baby will still likely be killed by them. So why should I keep on living?'

When I ordered Merri and two knights to bring the tea utensils from the carriage, I pocketed a number of stones in my dress.

Splash!

'Baby, wait Mama. This time, Mama will definitely go to your place,'

I realized that the water in this lake is warmer than I thought. Thank goodness, at least I’ll die in a warm embrace of nature.

Questions were running through my brain as my body began to sink. Such as, why did Hayden hate me so much? When did I slept with some random man and give birth to a baby with blonde hair who obviously didn't have a drop of blood from the Royal Family who always produces offspring with jet-black hair?

I know the presence of my baby has certainly caused an uproar. But really I was curious, when and HOW did I slept with another man when I clearly remember that Hayden was the one who shares a bed with me?

And, how come Sarah and Hayden have already met? Yet if they follow the plot of the book, they have only met a few years later since Fuschia's exile.

Blurp. Blurp.

But then again, compared to all the curiosity that crept into my brain, my desire to die was much greater.

My chest is burning. The tips of my fingers seemed to have gone numb. But never mind. I'm happy because this is my own choice.

'Mama will be coming soon, baby,'

Just when I thought that I could go after my baby, a pair of hands pulled me tightly in his embrace. I feel as if my body is wrapped in another warmth. My body floats back to the surface. Even if I struggle, its strength surpasses mine.

''W-who? Is there a mermaid here?! Don't pull me! Don't pull me up, you idiot!"

My body felt a strong urge. Without warning, our lips are more than brushing. He blows air into my mouth. Repeatedly. And when I opened my eyes, only darkness was presented. And that's my last sight before waking up.

“Miss Fuschia! Miss! Miss! Your Highness the Crown Princess, hng-” Merri's body trembled. Her shoulders heaved in time with her loud cry.

Beside her were two knights who were equally panicked.

***

After that incident in Green Lake, Fuschia devoured some peanut bread from the palace’s kitchen. Even though she knew very well that Fuschia was allergic to peanuts, she still devoured them even when her breath stopped. But when she felt her life was nearing the limits, Fuschia woke up again.

"Ha! Haha… hahahahaha… hahahaha!”

Fuschia's roaring laughter left those gathered in her room dumbfounded. Not only Merri, Sophie, and Laura, but the doctors, knights, and servants of the Jasmine Palace - the residence of the Crown Princess, were just as shocked.

The reason is, they have served Fuschia since she was still the Crown Prince's fiancé. And they didn't expect Fuschia to laugh out loud with her mouth wide open. Very contrast with her soft and classy image that reflects the elegance of a noble.

'I should have known better that I couldn't die here. Hahaha… ha!" Fuschia smirk, and her gaze gradually dull.

A series of unfortunate events of the Crown Princess immediately shocked the entire palace. Starting from catching a fever after the wedding party, lock herself, and crying saggingly for days in the room, not to mention the incident of drowning in a lake, and even the unconsciousness due to allergies.

The news was widespread among the servants. The sprinkling of artificial spices made the news even spicier.

The next day, Her Majesty The Queen summons Fuschia into her residence - The Edelweiss Palace.

"What's wrong with you, Crown Princess?" The Queen sipped her tea, her thin pink lips and beautiful face still looked seductive as if she had not been eaten by age. With dark brown hair curled up as high as her status in this kingdom.

"What, what's wrong with me?" Fuschia replied nonchalantly.

The Queen gasped. Fuschia understands very well that answering questions with other questions is a presumptuous act especially in the presence of people of higher status.

"Hmm. Apparently, you still need to learn a lot. "

"Yes, I feel the same way, my queen."

The Queen frowned. Followed by both Fuschia's lady-in-waiting and the Queen's lady-in-waiting. They gasped.

Her Majesty the Queen put down the teacup as soft and neat as possible so that there is no clink sound.

"Hmm... you're still sick, huh. Even so, you still have to maintain your dignity. I know you love the Crown Prince, but crying and locking yourself in a room just because you miss him is such a shameful act, Crown Princess. Especially until you slipped in and almost drowning in the Green Lake. What do you think will happen if this kingdom’s Crown Princess is so clumsy? Remember well, you are already a Crown Princess, so let go of your spoiled nature and be more careful. You have to maintain the honor of the Royal Family’s dignity, correct?”

'Aha... so the rumors that spread around were me - a spoiled Crown Princess who missed the Crown Prince so much that I locked myself in my room for days. Then fell into the lake because of my absentminded? Hahaha… they're cute tho."

“Hmm, that's why I often tell the Crown Prince not to spoil you too much. But apparently, my words got no strength. Really, regardless of age, when men blinded in love they often act childish."

Fuschia wants to puke at the queen’s remark. So… so much.