“But, the committee still holds about a thousand trials a year nationwide and of those who go to trial only a hundred are found to not be feral.” My mouth drops open as I realize the mathematics behind that number. Ninety percent of those who go to trial are deemed feral? Oddly I’m struggling to breathe with such a number. “What happens to the ninety percent that are found to be feral?!” I gasp out as I struggle to accept Jessa climbing into my lap again.“Shhhh.” She hushes quietly near my ear. She’s pushed me back against the couch again and is straddling my legs with one hand on the side of my face gently holding the other cheek against hers. I raise my hands with the purpose of placing them on her hips so I can gently move her off my lap but I’m in an impossible position. I can’t handle the emotions that come with her straddling my legs but I’m suddenly struggling to touch her as well. “It’s okay to touch me Cole. I know you’re struggling to accept what I’m doing but it’s imp
“This is also the reason why we don’t want you to wait for the committee to remove you. The information that your father has access to without much digging on the process says if you make it to the final step in the investigation ten members of the council will move into your pack and you will be simultaneously moved out. The move is permanent no matter if you go to trial or not as the council members that move in are not simply investigating you.” I stop my gentle rub just under the hem of Jessa’s shirt and cock my head slightly as this was where Dr. Pierce had essentially stopped when breaking down the process.“So what are they doing when the committee starts their nine month investigation?” “What they’ve done for ten years now is remove the wolf being investigated to a temporary sanctuary pack within an hour’s drive of the regional committee’s headquarters. The pack has constant contact with the committee and as soon as any feral behaviors are seen the wolf is placed in the pack
Friday July 20th; 8am(Cole’s POV) It’s been a month since my meeting with alpha discussing my options for getting out of the hell I call home. I was allowed to take the hard splint off for good two weeks ago but that hasn’t kept me out of the med wing. I’ve been in a steady slide into severe depression and I’ve had to seek the comfort of both alpha and Dr. Pierce when my feelings have become too extreme for me to handle alone. My mood swings have been so wild that I’ve gotten extremely nasty with Jessa. I so much as begged alpha to send her on a trip with Alpha Damian until today because I knew how badly I was hurting her. I didn’t mean to hurt her and I know I’m going to pay dearly for my lack of control when I return. Sleep is scarce at best and eating is nearly impossible. I can’t begin to describe how many times I have screamed myself awake, fighting alpha’s hold around me just to break down and cry in his arms. The anticipation of returning after six months of relative peace
It’s as we sit in silence that his frantic sobs finally quiet and are slowly replaced by the steady rhythm of his slightly wheezed snore. He hasn’t slept or ate right in the last two months and his condition shows it easily as he’s nearly back to the same weight he was when he got here despite our efforts to counteract his depression by upping his medication. I close my eyes and lay my cheek against his head as I listen to everything around me. I reassigned everyone that normally helps in the pack house to other tasks, closed the med wing with the exception of emergencies and canceled all the meetings that were scheduled today. I knew today would be tough but nothing could have prepared me for the brutal reality of this young man choosing to leave. The pack house is eerily quiet as if the house has been swallowed whole in preparation for the sadness, the sheer trauma of his departure. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting with him when the shuffle of my mate’s feet starts down t
His eyes are wide with my explanation but he slowly removes his shirt as I’ve requested. “Put it on my desk.” I keep my calm helping him along when he appears lost. “Please.” He pleads helplessly. “It’s okay.” I try to comfort him. “No sir. It’s not okay. I’m not okay.” “I know. That’s why I’m doing this. Don’t step away.”I instruct as I close the distance between us. He accepts my embrace as I pull him into me again. There’s one test that I’ve never done with him as I’ve respected his sensitivity towards his back being touched but today I’m using that sensitivity to break him down in the hopes that he’ll be better able to handle leaving. It could also lead him into a complete breakdown requiring me to place him on a mental health hold but I’m taking my chances. “What are you going to do to me?” He asks as he struggles to lay his head on my shoulder.“I’m going to touch your back.” I explain as I guide his head down and pet the back of his head. “Please, sir. You don’t know h
“Come.” I state as I gently pull him up and into me. He whimpers and fights briefly before taking hold of me tightly. We simply stand in silence, waiting for the trauma of leaving to subside. I wait for him to push away first, following his lead for when he’s ready to start out towards the front door. “Would you like some Ativan? It won’t take effect until you're well on your way north so it won’t alter your ability to decide to stay or go but it will make the trip easier to handle.” “Please.” Is all he manages to whisper against my neck before he pushes himself up to stand on his own. “Stay.” I whisper just as quietly as I step away from him into the attached bathroom, opening the cabinet and pulling out the low dose Ativan that I keep there. I return in front of him cupping his chin in my hands, lifting his head so he’s looking straight instead of the floor. He whimpers subtly as he pulls away but I don’t allow him to leave me. “Easy there, son.” I whisper as I use my thumbs
I wrap my hands around his, sliding my fingers gently between his hands and hair. He surprises me with how easily he gives up his stimming. “Stand up son.” I keep my voice gentle and reassuring, waiting for him to respond. He fights me briefly as he stands, trying hard to get out of my hold. “No, Cole. Accept the contact.” I persist as I refuse to let him run from me. Surprisingly, it seems he wants to run towards the van picking him up, not back into the house. “Stay with me a moment son. Allow me to calm you.” He relents to my desire, slowly giving me the calm I know he needs to make a rational decision. “I know you heard the conversation. I need to know your thoughts.” “Dad sent him.” He whispers, his voice fearful. “I know. Your dad requested the change but the council honored it so the plan remains the same. You have pack members at White Ridge which gives your father no excuses for picking you up.” He nods against my shoulder before slowly pushing himself away.
He finally lifts his head and stands from the stairs, walking slowly towards me. Suddenly his pace picks up and has taken on a more aggressive look. I start moving to intercept him as he’s headed straight towards Cole. ‘Stop me. Please dad, I don’t want to hurt him.’ His call for help is real, he genuinely fears hurting Cole. I step quickly into his path, silently wrapping my arms around him. One around his waist, the other under his arm allowing me to curl around and place my hand on the back of his neck. He freezes in place and stifles a yelp as I hold him close. I’m struggling to put together what these new symptoms mean. “Lay your head. I need you to relax so I can submit your wolf without causing you pain.” I whisper in his ear as I guide his head down. He whimpers quietly as I massage his neck looking for the best pressure point. “I need you to talk, Luke. To anyone. I don’t care if you confide in your brother, your mother, any of the doctors or nurses in the wing, tell
The very breath I breathe is knocked right out of me as he has never commanded me to do anything. Even his father has made a strangled growl in response to his statement. “Even though you are an alpha, I am commanding you to come back.” His tone has softened but the seriousness in his voice has not. “I will return or I will die trying.” I somehow manage to whisper. Luna steps up next as Alpha Damian steps back wrapping her arm around me as Madilyn grabs my neck. I can feel Madilyn trying to wrap herself around me. Luna loosens her hold as I timidly take the young pup into my arms. “No! Don’t leave!” She starts off yelling. “You don’t deserve your daddy. He hurts you when you’re a good wolf. Please stay. My daddy can be your daddy. I promise I’ll share him.” She barely makes it through the last two sentences before breaking down crying. I hold her tightly as I look at luna’s face, her cheeks wet with tears. “I’m sorry.” Is all I can manage to whisper as she takes the little one
(Cole’s POV)It’s a shock to say the least to see Lucas come out to the porch let alone to see what appears to be a forced apology from him. I have a hard time believing what he has to say. I have never heard of Wolfington Academy and the only hint he gave was that he would go away. Not something I would ever want to happen to a newly shifted teen but I certainly wouldn’t want him to continue being a danger to the preshifts either. It’s been easy enough the last few months for me to avoid interacting with him even though I have sincerely missed the twins. These last two months, while they have been terribly hard and mentally painful for me, have also been the best for showing me the support I will have when I’m not myself. Alpha and luna both have gone out of their way to help me through my own decision to return. Every night luna and the twins would come to my room after dinner with a plate of food wrapped in cling wrap and several drinks. They would put the food and drinks in the
He finally lifts his head and stands from the stairs, walking slowly towards me. Suddenly his pace picks up and has taken on a more aggressive look. I start moving to intercept him as he’s headed straight towards Cole. ‘Stop me. Please dad, I don’t want to hurt him.’ His call for help is real, he genuinely fears hurting Cole. I step quickly into his path, silently wrapping my arms around him. One around his waist, the other under his arm allowing me to curl around and place my hand on the back of his neck. He freezes in place and stifles a yelp as I hold him close. I’m struggling to put together what these new symptoms mean. “Lay your head. I need you to relax so I can submit your wolf without causing you pain.” I whisper in his ear as I guide his head down. He whimpers quietly as I massage his neck looking for the best pressure point. “I need you to talk, Luke. To anyone. I don’t care if you confide in your brother, your mother, any of the doctors or nurses in the wing, tell
I wrap my hands around his, sliding my fingers gently between his hands and hair. He surprises me with how easily he gives up his stimming. “Stand up son.” I keep my voice gentle and reassuring, waiting for him to respond. He fights me briefly as he stands, trying hard to get out of my hold. “No, Cole. Accept the contact.” I persist as I refuse to let him run from me. Surprisingly, it seems he wants to run towards the van picking him up, not back into the house. “Stay with me a moment son. Allow me to calm you.” He relents to my desire, slowly giving me the calm I know he needs to make a rational decision. “I know you heard the conversation. I need to know your thoughts.” “Dad sent him.” He whispers, his voice fearful. “I know. Your dad requested the change but the council honored it so the plan remains the same. You have pack members at White Ridge which gives your father no excuses for picking you up.” He nods against my shoulder before slowly pushing himself away.
“Come.” I state as I gently pull him up and into me. He whimpers and fights briefly before taking hold of me tightly. We simply stand in silence, waiting for the trauma of leaving to subside. I wait for him to push away first, following his lead for when he’s ready to start out towards the front door. “Would you like some Ativan? It won’t take effect until you're well on your way north so it won’t alter your ability to decide to stay or go but it will make the trip easier to handle.” “Please.” Is all he manages to whisper against my neck before he pushes himself up to stand on his own. “Stay.” I whisper just as quietly as I step away from him into the attached bathroom, opening the cabinet and pulling out the low dose Ativan that I keep there. I return in front of him cupping his chin in my hands, lifting his head so he’s looking straight instead of the floor. He whimpers subtly as he pulls away but I don’t allow him to leave me. “Easy there, son.” I whisper as I use my thumbs
His eyes are wide with my explanation but he slowly removes his shirt as I’ve requested. “Put it on my desk.” I keep my calm helping him along when he appears lost. “Please.” He pleads helplessly. “It’s okay.” I try to comfort him. “No sir. It’s not okay. I’m not okay.” “I know. That’s why I’m doing this. Don’t step away.”I instruct as I close the distance between us. He accepts my embrace as I pull him into me again. There’s one test that I’ve never done with him as I’ve respected his sensitivity towards his back being touched but today I’m using that sensitivity to break him down in the hopes that he’ll be better able to handle leaving. It could also lead him into a complete breakdown requiring me to place him on a mental health hold but I’m taking my chances. “What are you going to do to me?” He asks as he struggles to lay his head on my shoulder.“I’m going to touch your back.” I explain as I guide his head down and pet the back of his head. “Please, sir. You don’t know h
It’s as we sit in silence that his frantic sobs finally quiet and are slowly replaced by the steady rhythm of his slightly wheezed snore. He hasn’t slept or ate right in the last two months and his condition shows it easily as he’s nearly back to the same weight he was when he got here despite our efforts to counteract his depression by upping his medication. I close my eyes and lay my cheek against his head as I listen to everything around me. I reassigned everyone that normally helps in the pack house to other tasks, closed the med wing with the exception of emergencies and canceled all the meetings that were scheduled today. I knew today would be tough but nothing could have prepared me for the brutal reality of this young man choosing to leave. The pack house is eerily quiet as if the house has been swallowed whole in preparation for the sadness, the sheer trauma of his departure. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting with him when the shuffle of my mate’s feet starts down t
Friday July 20th; 8am(Cole’s POV) It’s been a month since my meeting with alpha discussing my options for getting out of the hell I call home. I was allowed to take the hard splint off for good two weeks ago but that hasn’t kept me out of the med wing. I’ve been in a steady slide into severe depression and I’ve had to seek the comfort of both alpha and Dr. Pierce when my feelings have become too extreme for me to handle alone. My mood swings have been so wild that I’ve gotten extremely nasty with Jessa. I so much as begged alpha to send her on a trip with Alpha Damian until today because I knew how badly I was hurting her. I didn’t mean to hurt her and I know I’m going to pay dearly for my lack of control when I return. Sleep is scarce at best and eating is nearly impossible. I can’t begin to describe how many times I have screamed myself awake, fighting alpha’s hold around me just to break down and cry in his arms. The anticipation of returning after six months of relative peace
“This is also the reason why we don’t want you to wait for the committee to remove you. The information that your father has access to without much digging on the process says if you make it to the final step in the investigation ten members of the council will move into your pack and you will be simultaneously moved out. The move is permanent no matter if you go to trial or not as the council members that move in are not simply investigating you.” I stop my gentle rub just under the hem of Jessa’s shirt and cock my head slightly as this was where Dr. Pierce had essentially stopped when breaking down the process.“So what are they doing when the committee starts their nine month investigation?” “What they’ve done for ten years now is remove the wolf being investigated to a temporary sanctuary pack within an hour’s drive of the regional committee’s headquarters. The pack has constant contact with the committee and as soon as any feral behaviors are seen the wolf is placed in the pack