No. No. No. No. I wake feeling way too refreshed. Looking at my clock, I realize just how right I am. It's almost eight in the morning. I should be walking out the door to go to the gym and make it to the hospital by the time visiting hours start at nine. God, I'll never make it, and he'll be there alone. Thank God I called Cam last night. They left the hospital after being there several hours but before I had a chance to have any type of discussion with her about work. Luckily, I can do my job from anywhere in the world as long as I have my computer. I love being at Healing Wings but I don't have to work in the building. She was very understanding, assuring me I didn't have to call in daily, but to keep her posted about Moby's progress. It's weird working with a friend, not knowing how far to take the professional lines, so I always err on the side of caution. I swear she must have yawned a hundred times in the five minutes I was on the phone with her. When I finally asked her what
Ripping the door open to my car, I plop down in the seat to Google the phone number for the hospital. "Moby Cooper's room, please.""One moment please." The sound of fingers on a keyboard fills the silence. "I'm sorry ma'am, there are no phones in the ICU rooms.""Okay, how about the nurses' station, it's right outside his room.""We aren't allowed to connect people to the ICU nursing station."The bitch in me erupts. "Look, I appreciate you're doing your job, and I hope you can appreciate I'm simply doing mine. My husband is on that floor, and his mother just called me to tell me they're moving him to MUSC in roughly twelve minutes, and I'm not there. Now, you can either connect me to a nurse on that floor or when I get there and my husband has left, I will personally come find you and show you just how unhappy I really am.""Let me put you on hold and see what I can do." She remains calm, but I can hear the unsettled tone in her voice."Thank you."As I wait, I start
Leaving the hospital is more of a blur than reality, although I'm sure it happened, I'm in a fog trying to figure out how my axis flipped. Following the boxy ambulance, as we make the three-hour drive to Charleston, I ensure I never lose them. The driver was clear, if there's a problem, if Moby needs medical attention they can't provide, they will go to the nearest hospital. If I'm not behind them, I could be halfway to Orangeburg before I know they've detoured. I send up a silent prayer when I look at the gas gauge. The full tank is about the only positive thing I have going for me. Since the doctor had already postponed the ambulance to wait for me to get to the hospital, they didn't wait to allow me to go home to pack a bag. I have nothing-no money, no purse, no clothes-for an undetermined amount of time in a city I've only vacationed in. I'll figure out what to do about necessities after I know Moby is safe. His parents indicated they were going to go home to pack and would m
An hour passes with not a word from a single hospital staff. I worry his vitals aren't being monitored; no one has even looked in our direction except for the bum who asked me for a cigarette. "I'll be right back. I'm going to find someone to tell us what's going on. This is crazy.""I'll be right here." Smartass.Finding the check-in station proved more difficult with the construction underway but once there, the woman acts as if I have three heads and am breathing fire."I'm sorry, ma'am, what did you say the name is?""Cooper. Moby Cooper.""I don't have anyone registered by that name.""We were brought here by ambulance from Greenville. My husband is on a gurney over by the dead guy." None of this is amusing. She doesn't even blink at my referral to a dead patient hanging out in the hall."I don't know what to tell you.""Are you kidding me with this? I just followed an ambulance for over three hours. They gave me this pack of information to give to a nurse after
I think I'm in hell. The people around me are moaning, some in agony, with no relief in sight. I imagine this is what Hades would be like. This is unlike anything I've ever seen before, even on television, busy emergency rooms should have abundant lighting, state of the art facilities. This is nothing like that. The halls are dim, the noise is deafening, from both the patients and the construction, and everything appears dirty. Being alone, unable to walk, these halls freak me the fuck out almost as much as the people filling them.With Piper in view, I can tell by the look on her face things are not going as planned. Her skin is a purplish red, her eyes slightly squinted, and a vein is bulging in her forehead. Someone has pissed my wife off, and I'm thankful it wasn't me. When we make eye contact, all signs of irritation wipe clean, her face softens, the color begins to return to normal, and her eyes fill with love. There's only a slight trace of the vein that gives her away.When
The room is small, with no furniture for visitors, but Moby's away from the creeps downstairs and will now have the proper medical attention. I can't ask for more right now. The light is fading from the window and it's nearing eight o'clock. When his parents find us, I'm rather confused by Patty. She tells us about her plans for the week to shop, soak up the sun, and essentially enjoy an unexpected vacation. I look at Brooks who shrugs not knowing what's going on with her either and seemingly as surprised as I am at her focus not being on Moby. Maybe this is her way of saying, if he doesn't need her because he has me, then so be it. She will do what she wants. I roll my eyes, silently communicating the absurdity of it all with Brooks.They make their exit with Brooks in tow, confident Moby is now in good hands to retreat to the comfort of their respective hotel rooms. None of them ask me what my plans are for the night, and I certainly don't want to worry Moby, so I make no mentio
"May I speak to Piper?" I hear when I answer my phone."This is she." I don't recognize the voice on the other end, nor the number on the caller ID."This is Renee. I work with Moby except I'm at the Greer facility. I don't think we've ever formally been introduced." "Hi, Renee. Moby's mentioned you before. He thought I should get together with you to work on kickboxing." I'm an idiot; this girl isn't calling to hear about Moby's work out ideas for me. "I'm sorry. What can I do for you, Renee?""I hate calling so early in the morning, but I'm a couple hours from Charleston and was hoping I could meet you. I won't take but a minute of your time. I have a seminar I have to be at before noon.""Is everything okay?""Absolutely, just want to give you a card for Moby from the guys at the gym."It warms my heart to know they thought enough to get him a card. I realize she was already coming, but men just don't think about these things. I know it's going to do wonders for Moby'
Returning to Moby's room, it's after eight o'clock and he's nowhere around. A nurse informs me he moved to another room down the hall. Pointing me in the direction, I find him propped up in bed, eating what the hospital might describe as breakfast, watching television."Hey, babe," he calls out in much better spirits than I've seen him in the last couple of days."Hey! They gave you food. That's great.""I don't know if you can call soup for breakfast food, but it's not coming through an IV so I'll take what I can get." I look at the liquid cautiously. "They're still afraid I'm going to choke, so we're starting with liquids. I was told there's noodles in here too but someone lied.""Did you sleep well?" I inquire, hoping he had a better night than I did."I'm not sure you can call it sleep so much as napping since there's a nurse in here every hour checking my vitals. Every time the blood pressure cuff inflates it wakes me up. But I did the best I could with what I had. What
Six months ago, I moved back home. I thought things would be simple. I figured once I was physically back where I needed to be, everything else would just fall back into place. It didn't. It took work, lots of fucking work, and continues to take work daily.Emotionally, Piper was in a far worse place than any of us realized. She had developed abandonment issues and separation anxiety, not just with me but everyone she's close to. The great thing about working at a crisis center is the resources available to her. Just like Cam, Shelly has become her confidante. They meet a couple times a week, and together, we're all working on putting our relationships back together. It's a slow process and maybe one we'll work on for the rest of our lives. I'm just thankful to have the chance to do it. Whenever I see Shelly, I wonder if she comprehends just how many times she's really saved one of the Cooper boys' asses. Our journey through treatment is made a little more difficult in the last fe
Waking up, still wrapped in Moby's arms, his nose nestled near my ear, I stare out the same window that brought so much disdain yesterday, and wonder if it's possible the world has righted itself and is back on the correct axis.Twenty-four hours ago, the same sun shone through the same glass onto the same face, but its warmth did nothing other than start the repeat of another mundane, dismal day. Today it holds promise and wonder.I observe the clouds move as the light becomes brighter, not wanting to wake my sleeping husband, and instead opt to just enjoy the dawning of a new day.He begins to stir beside me, but I'm unable to tell if he's still in the throws of sleep or going to attempt to join me in the wake of the morning. He answers my unasked question by nudging his hard member against my butt, just letting me know he's there. His smile moves across my neck as he begins to scatter soft kisses over my skin.As his hands begin to wander, I tense in the apprehension of his
I don't have the energy for this. Between last night and today, I'm out of fuel to pretend like I give a shit anymore. I refuse to perpetuate a sham of happiness in my own home. I have no idea why Moby came back here, but if it's to rub my nose in how content he is, I wish he would've saved it for another day. Collapsing on the couch, I stuff my hands in my hoodie pockets, finding the little memento someone so graciously sent me. I haven't had time to really study it, but from the quick peeks I've taken, it's stunning. I rub my thumb over the inscription using it to soothe my weary soul.I watch in awe as Moby strolls across the room, not a single sign of the stroke visible. Whatever he's been doing for the last five weeks worked. He looks fantastic, and his confidence is soaring once again. I fight the attraction I feel seeing the man I married emerge again. It will only end in heartache. When he takes a seat across from me, I know this conversation is going to be more than I can
Knocking on the door to the dressing room to keep from startling her, she calls out to come in.Looking up from her hands, I find she already changed clothes and is back in her hoodie and jeans. It must be eighty degrees outside but I imagine with as little body fat as she's currently carrying around she likely stays cold. When she sees me, she stuffs her hands in the pocket of her sweatshirt in an attempt to hide whatever she was focused on before I interrupted."Are you ready to go home?""Yeah, I'm just getting my stuff. Do you want to meet me there?""No, my car's already at the house. Dax picked me up there this afternoon."She's confused and doesn't understand this has been my plan since she walked out of the hospital. Well, right after Dax and I got into a screaming match, and he punched me in the face. After that, this became my plan.She doesn't resist or argue just rises to her feet, grabs her purse and garment bag. I take the dress from her, holding the door open
I've never been more thankful in my entire life that Piper and I eloped. I cannot imagine having corralled people the way we have been tonight. I realize it's a huge crowd, but we are people, not sheep. Every moment of the evening has been precisely planned by either Cam or her wedding guru, who seems more like a drill sergeant than an event coordinator. At the very least, there's no way I could possibly be sitting at another table.When guests begin to take their seats after the cocktail hour, I finally spot her. My heart breaks. Brooks was right. There's almost nothing left of my soul mate. She looks like a skeleton. The skin barely hangs on her body. This didn't all happen in the last month. Looking back, I knew she was losing weight-and not in a healthy way-but I was so consumed by my own turmoil I didn't recognize how serious things were. The last month has just about killed her. I doubt she weighs a hundred pounds. The constriction of my chest makes it hard to breathe. My on
"Brooks!" I chase after my brother the moment Piper's out of sight."Yeah, bro, what's up?""Did you not give her the gift?""Of course. Just like you told me to. Why?""She's cold. She won't even look at me. You guys promised me this was temporary. I've worked my ass off day in and day out trying to prove myself. Why's she brushing me off?" I'm trying not to blow a gasket, but I'm out of options. I don't have any more tricks up my sleeve. I played the only hand I have. For the last five weeks, I've worked out for grueling hours a day, each of my brothers and her friends adding something to the daily regime. I've been in the gym with my buddies and co-workers who've pushed me harder than I ever pushed when I was healthy. There've been days I worked out more than I slept. My muscles have ached, I've been tired as hell, but I stayed focused to show her how much I love her and that I'm committed as fuck. I haven't reached out one time, there've been nights I took my phone to
Helping grab all the bride's accouterments, we traipse inside, bogged down with more crap than any one person should have. Her hair and makeup are already done, I can't imagine what the hell is in her arsenal, but leave it to Cam to be prepared for any situation. "How do you want to do this, Cam?" Rachel asks after hanging the bags around the room."My mom's bringing in the flowers just before we walk, so really all we need to do is get dressed, right?"I'm just along for the ride. I'll do whatever I'm told."So you guys go ahead and change. I'll do what I can on my own but once I put the gown on you'll have to button it and lace it up."None of us, to my knowledge, have even seen Cam's dress. She's kept it a highly guarded secret, so unless it's made a debut in the last couple weeks, we're all in for a treat.Each of us busies ourselves with lingerie, pantyhose, dresses, and high heels. Every head in the room turns to the door when a knock comes.Sutton gasps when her s
Waking to the sun shining through the windows, the haze-filled rays warm my skin, the illusion of a beautiful day beaming in. I lie in bed, having stared out into the same creation day after day, I force myself to get up and brave the world. Showering, shaving, and donning the most comfortable clothes I believe I can get away with in the spa we're scheduled to meet Cam at, I put on a fake smile, grab my dress, and get in the car. Mentally trying to prepare myself to pretend I'm enjoying my time with my friends, I blast the radio, singing along to the hottest music I can find, but it does little to lighten my mood. The ride is over too quickly, and before I know it, I'm staring at the entrance, my Fish staring back at me. They're waiting for me to get out of the car to go in together. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.Grabbing the handle, I swing the car door open, plastering my face with a smile that swears I'm happy to be here. They greet me warmly. My girls seem to
The dress is better than anything I could've ever dreamed and so much prettier than the original. I haven't bothered mentioning it to Cam and doubt she'll notice when the time comes. I figure it's best not to acknowledge it, stressing her out even more than I assume she already is. She took yesterday and today off work and all of next week for their honeymoon, but I'll see her, and everyone else, tonight at the rehearsal dinner. I'm dreading the entire thing, which pains me. I've been looking forward to Cam's wedding for years, even though we didn't have a groom. Not just hers but all the Fish. I've wanted to watch my friends take the next step, open the next chapter in their lives, each of them. Somehow, the last year seems to have taken all that joy away, sucked it right out from under me. Not only is the joy no longer there but it's been replaced with apprehension and fear. My friends haven't talked to me since I left Moby, even though they all agreed it was what I needed to d