To My Readers...Here's the truth behind Compass. My husband and I met on February 7, 2009, we were engaged on February 7, 2010, and our lives were turned upside down on the morning of February 7, 2011-just three months after we married. Compass is inspired by my own personal life experience. The events of the years this took place had a profound impact on my life and left me forever changed. While I used my creative license to align the story with the rest of the characters in the series, the premise is based in reality. The frustration, the pain, the heartbreak, the triumphs-we felt all of those emotions...some of which we recovered from, others we did not. My own story didn't end the way Piper and Moby's does but I can tell you, we had our own version of a happy ending. We both prevailed over the hand we were dealt and, in the end, came out stronger. Sometimes the fight of your life doesn't have a winner or a loser-sometimes you're lucky to merely survive.
"You did what?" Rachel's irate, her face reflecting her rage by the deep shade of crimson red it's become. She's normally not very easy to rouse, but she's in rare form today. Her laid-back personality is nowhere to be found. The vein bulging in her forehead makes me want to giggle-she looks like a Klingon-but I choke back the urge. Glancing at my watch, I wonder how long this persecution will continue. I get she's angry. I get it; they're all angry. But the fact of the matter is I'm thirty-six years old. Before this weekend, I've never married, and never seriously considered marrying. At my age, you don't need to date someone for three years to know whether you're compatible. I'm firm in my ways. I've lived alone for years, so I know; people are either a fit or they're not. Rachel doesn't grasp that concept at twenty-eight with more boyfriends in her history than I can begin to count. She kicks them out as quickly as they come, with a never-ending supply waiting in line. That's
There're lots of great things about being a guy but I've just decided the best being: my friends won't demand an explanation for cutting them out of a wedding, rather they'll likely be thanking me they got to avoid that shit. My brothers, on the other hand, are another story. I don't think Brooks and Landis care, but Dax has to care because his fiancée cares. We just eliminated her role in planning two weddings with her best friend.I mistakenly believe I have escaped the wrath by leaving the girls in the kitchen and retreat to the solitude of the porch. Thankfully, the smoke from the grill is keeping the mosquitos at bay and the sun is no longer blinding."I'm not going to attack you, Mo, but Mom and Dad are going to go bat-shit crazy." I'm not sure when Dax appointed himself the keeper of the clan, but his Father Knows Best mantra is getting annoying."No, they aren't.""Are you insane? You're the first one of the four of us to get married. Mom's going to cry." Landis thinks
They crowd in the house. Finally, everyone's cheerful and back to themselves, which in turn, makes me content. I love everyone here dearly. The Coopers have been like family since Dax and Cam started dating. They all became overwhelmingly protective of Cam's crew: me, Sutton, Charlie, and Rachel. The Wright brothers were a bonus courtesy of Cam and Dax. Julie Wright is the receptionist at the bank Cam used to work for before her attack, and the youngest of the Wrights. Their parents and the Cooper's parents have been thick as thieves for nearly forty years, lived across the street from each other the same amount of time, and had children at coinciding intervals-four in each family. Julie is the only one of the group who's not here tonight and also the only girl. Watching this brood in my home, I find humor in the run down, each brother having a partner from the other family, well except Dax. His partner passed away several years ago in a horrible car accident no one speaks about. Bu
As the last of our friends leave for the evening, I shut the front door with Moby close behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist, whispering in my ear, "It could've gone worse." "We need a bigger house, Moby." Sometimes I wonder if I have Tourette's or maybe ADD-the things that come out of my mouth are often random as hell and exactly what I'm thinking. Moby moved in with me because he was renting and I live downtown. Having all the gang here, the townhouse is simply too small. I want to add to our group, not have to pick and choose who we have over because we don't have enough room for everyone.He flips off the light switches leaving nothing but the streetlights to illuminate our path. Taking my hand, he pulls me up the stairs as I continue to talk. "Surely you saw people were sitting on the floor to eat and in separate rooms. That's no good. How did I not realize before tonight how cramped this place is?" I stop on the steps in front of him, turning around to come face t
There's something magical about waking up with her pressed to my side, nestled into my body. I'm sure most couples feel this when they first marry, but as far as I know, I'm the luckiest man to walk the face of the earth. Never in my wildest dreams did I think a girl like Piper would love a man like me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad guy. We're just really different. Maybe that's what makes it work so well. Piper's beautiful but not in a model way. She's not tall, she's not overly thin, she doesn't dress like she stepped off the catwalk-nothing like the women I dated before her. Her thick hair is the color of burnt toast. It drops a little beyond her shoulders with hints of cherry red that catch my eye whenever the sunlight hits it. Her eyes are a beautiful deep brown, almost like chocolate. They're so dark and rich. The color sets off her flawless, creamy complexion. The poor girl doesn't tan no matter how much time she spends in the sun, and she dresses for comfort, in a cute w
"Hey, Rach!" I open my front door to my favorite real estate guru. I have no idea how she does it; she's very young, well-connected, and known for finding people their ideal home or office in one trip. She did it with Cam when they found Healing Wings-the foundation she set up after she was raped a couple of years ago-and I know multiple people who sing her praises. "Hey, Pipes. If you're cool with it, I'm going to take pictures, get room dimensions, and get your townhouse information before we go see the houses I picked for you.""Sure. Do you need anything from us?" I ask walking back to the kitchen to finish loading the dishwasher."No, this won't take long. It's always easier to list a property I've spent a lot of time in."True to her word, Rachel finishes with the townhouse in less than thirty minutes and finds us still lingering in the kitchen."Do you guys want to see the specs on the houses we're going to look at before we leave?" She pulls a stack of papers from he
"Piper?" I can't find a damn thing in this house. I always thought having more space would make things easier, but my wife and I have very different ideas of where things should go. I lost every one of those arguments when we moved here. She stayed up all night unpacking after I went to bed, and, by default, got to establish the locations of items in the new house."Yeah?" she calls to me from across the house before appearing in the doorway to the master bedroom."Where's the aspirin?" My head is pounding and the frustration I'm feeling toward having to search for it is only exacerbating the problem.Walking toward me, she says, "Does your head still hurt? How long has this been going on now? Two days?" She continues past me to the closet at the end of the hall. "This makes day three, and yes, it still hurts."She hands me the bottle. "Do you think you should see a doctor?"Tapping two pills into my palm, I hand the bottle back to her. The rattling of the pills inside the
Six months ago, I moved back home. I thought things would be simple. I figured once I was physically back where I needed to be, everything else would just fall back into place. It didn't. It took work, lots of fucking work, and continues to take work daily.Emotionally, Piper was in a far worse place than any of us realized. She had developed abandonment issues and separation anxiety, not just with me but everyone she's close to. The great thing about working at a crisis center is the resources available to her. Just like Cam, Shelly has become her confidante. They meet a couple times a week, and together, we're all working on putting our relationships back together. It's a slow process and maybe one we'll work on for the rest of our lives. I'm just thankful to have the chance to do it. Whenever I see Shelly, I wonder if she comprehends just how many times she's really saved one of the Cooper boys' asses. Our journey through treatment is made a little more difficult in the last fe
Waking up, still wrapped in Moby's arms, his nose nestled near my ear, I stare out the same window that brought so much disdain yesterday, and wonder if it's possible the world has righted itself and is back on the correct axis.Twenty-four hours ago, the same sun shone through the same glass onto the same face, but its warmth did nothing other than start the repeat of another mundane, dismal day. Today it holds promise and wonder.I observe the clouds move as the light becomes brighter, not wanting to wake my sleeping husband, and instead opt to just enjoy the dawning of a new day.He begins to stir beside me, but I'm unable to tell if he's still in the throws of sleep or going to attempt to join me in the wake of the morning. He answers my unasked question by nudging his hard member against my butt, just letting me know he's there. His smile moves across my neck as he begins to scatter soft kisses over my skin.As his hands begin to wander, I tense in the apprehension of his
I don't have the energy for this. Between last night and today, I'm out of fuel to pretend like I give a shit anymore. I refuse to perpetuate a sham of happiness in my own home. I have no idea why Moby came back here, but if it's to rub my nose in how content he is, I wish he would've saved it for another day. Collapsing on the couch, I stuff my hands in my hoodie pockets, finding the little memento someone so graciously sent me. I haven't had time to really study it, but from the quick peeks I've taken, it's stunning. I rub my thumb over the inscription using it to soothe my weary soul.I watch in awe as Moby strolls across the room, not a single sign of the stroke visible. Whatever he's been doing for the last five weeks worked. He looks fantastic, and his confidence is soaring once again. I fight the attraction I feel seeing the man I married emerge again. It will only end in heartache. When he takes a seat across from me, I know this conversation is going to be more than I can
Knocking on the door to the dressing room to keep from startling her, she calls out to come in.Looking up from her hands, I find she already changed clothes and is back in her hoodie and jeans. It must be eighty degrees outside but I imagine with as little body fat as she's currently carrying around she likely stays cold. When she sees me, she stuffs her hands in the pocket of her sweatshirt in an attempt to hide whatever she was focused on before I interrupted."Are you ready to go home?""Yeah, I'm just getting my stuff. Do you want to meet me there?""No, my car's already at the house. Dax picked me up there this afternoon."She's confused and doesn't understand this has been my plan since she walked out of the hospital. Well, right after Dax and I got into a screaming match, and he punched me in the face. After that, this became my plan.She doesn't resist or argue just rises to her feet, grabs her purse and garment bag. I take the dress from her, holding the door open
I've never been more thankful in my entire life that Piper and I eloped. I cannot imagine having corralled people the way we have been tonight. I realize it's a huge crowd, but we are people, not sheep. Every moment of the evening has been precisely planned by either Cam or her wedding guru, who seems more like a drill sergeant than an event coordinator. At the very least, there's no way I could possibly be sitting at another table.When guests begin to take their seats after the cocktail hour, I finally spot her. My heart breaks. Brooks was right. There's almost nothing left of my soul mate. She looks like a skeleton. The skin barely hangs on her body. This didn't all happen in the last month. Looking back, I knew she was losing weight-and not in a healthy way-but I was so consumed by my own turmoil I didn't recognize how serious things were. The last month has just about killed her. I doubt she weighs a hundred pounds. The constriction of my chest makes it hard to breathe. My on
"Brooks!" I chase after my brother the moment Piper's out of sight."Yeah, bro, what's up?""Did you not give her the gift?""Of course. Just like you told me to. Why?""She's cold. She won't even look at me. You guys promised me this was temporary. I've worked my ass off day in and day out trying to prove myself. Why's she brushing me off?" I'm trying not to blow a gasket, but I'm out of options. I don't have any more tricks up my sleeve. I played the only hand I have. For the last five weeks, I've worked out for grueling hours a day, each of my brothers and her friends adding something to the daily regime. I've been in the gym with my buddies and co-workers who've pushed me harder than I ever pushed when I was healthy. There've been days I worked out more than I slept. My muscles have ached, I've been tired as hell, but I stayed focused to show her how much I love her and that I'm committed as fuck. I haven't reached out one time, there've been nights I took my phone to
Helping grab all the bride's accouterments, we traipse inside, bogged down with more crap than any one person should have. Her hair and makeup are already done, I can't imagine what the hell is in her arsenal, but leave it to Cam to be prepared for any situation. "How do you want to do this, Cam?" Rachel asks after hanging the bags around the room."My mom's bringing in the flowers just before we walk, so really all we need to do is get dressed, right?"I'm just along for the ride. I'll do whatever I'm told."So you guys go ahead and change. I'll do what I can on my own but once I put the gown on you'll have to button it and lace it up."None of us, to my knowledge, have even seen Cam's dress. She's kept it a highly guarded secret, so unless it's made a debut in the last couple weeks, we're all in for a treat.Each of us busies ourselves with lingerie, pantyhose, dresses, and high heels. Every head in the room turns to the door when a knock comes.Sutton gasps when her s
Waking to the sun shining through the windows, the haze-filled rays warm my skin, the illusion of a beautiful day beaming in. I lie in bed, having stared out into the same creation day after day, I force myself to get up and brave the world. Showering, shaving, and donning the most comfortable clothes I believe I can get away with in the spa we're scheduled to meet Cam at, I put on a fake smile, grab my dress, and get in the car. Mentally trying to prepare myself to pretend I'm enjoying my time with my friends, I blast the radio, singing along to the hottest music I can find, but it does little to lighten my mood. The ride is over too quickly, and before I know it, I'm staring at the entrance, my Fish staring back at me. They're waiting for me to get out of the car to go in together. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Repeat.Grabbing the handle, I swing the car door open, plastering my face with a smile that swears I'm happy to be here. They greet me warmly. My girls seem to
The dress is better than anything I could've ever dreamed and so much prettier than the original. I haven't bothered mentioning it to Cam and doubt she'll notice when the time comes. I figure it's best not to acknowledge it, stressing her out even more than I assume she already is. She took yesterday and today off work and all of next week for their honeymoon, but I'll see her, and everyone else, tonight at the rehearsal dinner. I'm dreading the entire thing, which pains me. I've been looking forward to Cam's wedding for years, even though we didn't have a groom. Not just hers but all the Fish. I've wanted to watch my friends take the next step, open the next chapter in their lives, each of them. Somehow, the last year seems to have taken all that joy away, sucked it right out from under me. Not only is the joy no longer there but it's been replaced with apprehension and fear. My friends haven't talked to me since I left Moby, even though they all agreed it was what I needed to d