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CHAPTER 50: I Am Not Good Enough
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
The Secret Island CHAPTER 51: My Heart Desires
To Celine, two paths emerged… The two paths were diverged by reasons and emotions. She was overwhelmed by anger and hurt, and all she wanted was to walk away, but that 23-year-old girl, the girl she once was, stopped her two legs from moving. That girl, that besotted young girl—the past her that was deeply in love with Martin—the girl that overlooked reason and dignity—that girl demanded that she stayed. And once Celine weighed her options, she chose to stay and listen to what Martin had to say. They still held each other in silence. Celine waited for Martin to continue saying something, anything. Just now…did he tell her he loved her? Eventually, the man spoke. He spoke out his heart. “Don’t say…that I’ve never loved you. Of course, I do. I’ve loved you since we were together. I love you, knowing I should not love you. Since then, my heart beat faster whenever I hear you talk about your feelings. And although we were not
The Secret Island CHAPTER 52: The Therapist Part 3
“Doc, what did she mean? What do you think she wants me to do?”Today, Martin had an appointment with his therapist. He still saw her weekly. The issues he discussed were usually his fear and worries during the week. The bad memories reemerged once in a while, some weeks more frequent than others, and each set of sessions focused on any issue he wanted to work on. And the topic of discussion today was the matter of the heart.His therapist, Gisele, kept her cool once she knew she had to advise on his love problems. Her expertise was in treating trauma victims, and he had never thought of bringing this personal issue to her, but he didn’t have that many options. In the past few years, he talked to her about all sorts of problems—his nightmares, his panic attacks, issues with his parents, his fears, and now his love life. The reason he could recover and walk around town and go about his day-to-day business was because of her. She had been his rock.The bottom line was that he trusted he
The Secret Island CHAPTER 53: On the Plane
Martin was sitting on the plane that was about to depart from JFK airport. The destination was Heathrow airport. He hadn’t been to London for a while, and this trip was exciting for him. In truth, much of the source of excitement was from his travel companion—sitting beside him was Celine. First, she insisted on flying first class, but he casually mentioned that we could sit closer together if it was business class. And here they were, sitting side by side on the same row. Celine didn’t seem so pleased having him around. Her grimace was evidence, and she kept avoiding his gaze. Her feelings were always obvious—when she was angry, he knew. What was important to him was to get back in her good graces. She announced her intention clear that he had to prove himself. He understood the concept of regaining trust but acting on it takes time. The discussion with his therapist gave him some reflections on the next steps. He would follow her to London. He ask
The Secret Island CHAPTER 54: It’s Complicated
Martin opened the curtain to admire the view of the London skyline. He booked a five stars hotel in the middle of the city. He planned to stay here until he had more idea of the direction of his life. It could be weeks or months. He sighed at his predicament.The sun slowly rose. It was almost autumn, and he couldn’t imagine the UK to be this sunny. A gentle ray of light shone on buildings in the city that were strangers to him. He stared into the distance and reminisced. Everything that happened pained his heart to even think about, but worse yet—he became a person that lived without purpose.This was the first time in his life he had lived without a plan. The complicated past had ended, but his thoughts circled back to his mistakes, always. He started to find it boring; he found his fear boring, his nightmares boring, and he wanted to do everything to get out of it.He did discuss this with his therapist in detail, and nothing came out of it. He came to an understanding that it was
The Secret Island CHAPTER 55: Celine’s Office
Kathy was finding an answer to the difficult situation she had to face. It should be business as usual after her boss was back in the office. She had to guess the mood Celine was in. Kathy had been working with her for the past three years as a personal assistant, and it was her role to be aware of office politics or gossip.The biggest gossip for this whole day was the talk of a certain handsome man at the reception. He sat at the reception for the morning and waited. He talked to her boss when she walked past, although she seemed to ignore him. When Kathy asked whether she should call security to escort the man out, Celine promptly rejected. She gave her no further instruction nor explanation.“If he wanted to wait, just let him. Tell Martin he can stay as long as he wants, but don’t expect me to be accommodating. I have work to do.”And that was what Kathy did. Nothing. Although she suspected that man was the same man she saw in the picture frame. The same picture on Celine’s work
The Secret Island CHAPTER 56: Lunch
“I’ve told you everything, Vera. Now, it’s your turn. What should I do?” Two palms covered her face. Celine nervously asked her best friend. The claim of an urgent meeting outside of the office was a lie. Celine intended to spend a few hours in the afternoon resolving the issues that weighed down her heart by discussing them with Vera. But to say that it was an urgent matter was not a lie. Martin was just sitting there, at the reception, being his usual calm and relaxed persona, reading. That was all he did, reading. But that was enough. He let her personal assistant, staff, and suppliers mistake him for her boyfriend. He was her ex! People should just understand that he was only her ex-boyfriend. She hadn’t forgiven him. We hadn’t gotten back together. He wasn’t her boyfriend. Please, stop calling him her boyfriend! “Well, it seems you can now leave your convent. After living like a nun for a long, finally, your hubby has returned
The Secret Island CHAPTER 57: Don’t Ignore Me
Martin didn’t want to eat…Celine was puzzled by how much the information upset her to the point of rushing back to see him right after Kathy texted her. He refused her offer to order food.He was stubborn and passive-aggressive. She didn’t know if this was his form of protest, but it worked; she was unable to sit still.The waiting staff at the restaurant she frequented greeted her as soon as she walked in. Celine almost reached her designated table when she turned around and realized that Martin didn’t follow her. He was still in front of a refrigerated display countertop, looking at cakes and other desserts. If she guessed correctly, he was looking at a vanilla cake.Sometimes he had this kiddish part of him that she thought was adorable, but it rarely came to the surface.Once the food she ordered arrived and we started eating, Martin asked her questioningly.“Is something wrong? You don’t seem to eat much.”“Nothing. I’m just on a diet.” She gave him a random reason. If he suspec
The Secret Island CHAPTER 58: Behind His Silence
This was another day that Martin just sat there outside her office. He didn’t talk to anyone. He simply read his book. Celine didn’t know if or how long she could endure this situation. The situation had no ending in sight. She didn’t understand Martin. He only had to explain what happened. The explanation was more than self-blame. But that man…she didn’t know how he truly felt. Celine was quite concerned. She observed that he wasn’t well. He looked quite frail this morning. Probably from not enough rest or jetlag. Why didn’t he take care of himself? She got mad just thinking about it. “Kathy…for two hours I have to be away for my meeting outside of the office, well, can you please tell Martin for me that…hmm, I will come back to have lunch with him in the afternoon.” Kathy probably got confused about why she didn’t speak directly to Martin. She just didn’t want to appear too soft. Yesterday, there were already a lot of emotional d
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The Secret Island CHAPTER 96: Any Worry?
“Celine, why are you so quiet tonight? Talk to me, will you?” Martin spoke out, breaking the silence. They were back to his room after dinner with her friends. And she couldn’t find words to say anything. She could only sneak a peak at him. Instead of saying anything, she walked to hug him. “What is this all about?” He chuckled and hugged her back. She decided to sleep over at his place tonight. Soon, he will move to a condo she helped him choose, a new property he will buy. It took a while for the deal to go through. Martin wasn’t the bossy one. To Celine, when it came to big purchases, he seemed to be too casual about it. She saw through the deals and negotiated the price for him. It was also not a coincidence that the condo that Martin bought was precisely in the design and style that Celine loved. “I just do what I want to do.” She replied, referring to her hold on him. She wouldn’t let go so easily. Martin chuckled at her strange action and kissed her f
The Secret Island CHAPTER 95: Her Friends
When Celine and Martin sat at the table with Celine’s friends surrounding them, she knew the source of her nervousness. The CEO sat still and observed the conversation exchanged between Martin and her friends. Her friends shot him question after question, but Martin was no longer a man of few words. He smiled and put on all his charms. He got to know her friend one by one. There was Jessica, a hotel heiress, that Martin expertly discussed the business of the F&B industry with. Kimberly, an up-and-coming model, with whom Martin got into an intense debate over the trend of fast fashion ethics. And then there was Marie, a real estate heiress and socialite that seemed to like Martin a bit too much. She just kept looking at him when he told her what he knew about the real estate market. Before coming here, her friends teased her that they would question him to the point that he might run away or be afraid to have dinner with Celine’s friend group again. That didn’t see
The Secret Island CHAPTER 94: The Recovery
Celine had worked with countless executives and talented individuals, and she found out that after working with different types of people, there were people who were considered great workers because they knew how to work smart. Another type is people who are naturally gifted, and then there is Martin. He deserves his own category. Celine knew prior to deciding to partner with him that he was a capable man in every sense of the word. But after one month from the day that he agreed to sign the contract with her, everything happened so fast. Everything that Martin did exceed her expectation. Since that day, he asked to spend two weeks traveling to her factories, met her designers, and called in a marketing consultant. He even flew to Paris and then Japan and also Dubai to meet up with retailers and suppliers. He studied the market and came up with a plan for business expansion as well as product ideas that would fit different markets. He reviewed all of the company’s
The Secret Island CHAPTER 93: The Business Partner
“Oh, c’mon, we have taken our relationship to this point. We shouldn’t have anything to hide from each other. Just tell me, Martin.” Celine stared at the man in front of her. He was visibly nervous and clearly in search of the right words. But there was no right word. She knew he might not tell her anything at all. “Martin, please. I deserve to know.” Her voice was soft. She didn’t force him. She was just pleading for the truth. Martin hesitated. But in the end, he relented. “I…I am afraid I will mess it all up.” He confessed. And she frowned. “Messing, what up?” “Everything. Everything here…” He looked around the room. Martin was worried and refused to look at her. “What do you mean? Like messing up the business? You will singlehandedly bankrupt me? Is that something on your mind?” Celine tried to elaborate. She wanted to say that that was utter nonsense but reserved her words. “Yes, exactly that. This is your dream. This
The Secret Island CHAPTER 92: The Interview
Martin was looking at the white wall and the decorations inside his ‘interview room’ for today. He smiled at what he saw. How could he not like the room when it was he who designed it on a piece of paper and handed it to her that day on the island? The idea materialized into reality because of Celine. He thought of his life as he waited for Celine to finish her online meeting. He didn’t know what his life would become without her. She had always been caring and prioritized his issues as if they were her own. He really didn’t know what he would become without her. Even though this aspect of his life he thought would never overlap with her, his career, she still offered to help him with it.He gave her an answer yesterday. And today, Martin intended to do the same.He had every intention of denying her generous offer.Yes… yesterday, he denied her offer. But Celine being as stubborn as she was, asked him to at least go through an interview, to really talk through the details and let h
The Secret Island CHAPTER 91: Our Collective Dreams
“Do you think Celine would know if we are spying on them?” Celine’s parents were lurking in the corner of the room, observing their daughter and her boyfriend from a distance. From this angle, it perfectly gave them a clear view of the couple. It was also a rare occasion for Celine to be in the kitchen at all. They knew that she was a terrible cook. No matter how many compliments they had given to her burnt toast in the past, they knew in their heart that her being in the kitchen was also a risk of a fire that could break out at any time. “I think she knows, but she doesn’t care. You know how she is. She does whatever she wants.” Celine’s father, who pretended to read the news on his tablet in case his daughter looked his way, said. He knew Celine well. She never cares much about others’ opinions if she sets her mind on something. It didn’t take long for their small chitchat and spying that Celine’s mother yelped in excitement after seeing someth
The Secret Island Chapter 90: Cooking Session
After Martin stood still for a while and let Celine hug him, she let go of him and helped out with other jobs of this cooking task. Martin was quite dumbfounded when it came to the matter of cooking. He hadn’t cooked good food for himself for years, so it was not surprising that it took him longer than expected to prepare the ingredients. He did look up the recipe on the internet and tried to go slow. But he completely lost his confidence when it came to performing a task that produced an outcome. He felt totally out of place and even felt weird holding the pot and pan, and utensils. Celine was always by his side and helped him. She was no great chef, and she admitted it, but Celine still enjoyed the process, definitely a lot more than he did. The pasta was something Martin thought was the easiest menu to make, but even so, he overcooked the pasta, boiling it too long that it became too soft. He just could not time it right. We had to redo the whole thing again. It was strang
The Secret Island Chapter 89: Casual Supper
Celine came back to Martin’s place around 7 PM. Once she arrived, the first thing she asked of him was for him to shower and dress well because she was taking him outside. She told him that she wanted to take him somewhere. She didn’t tell him where no matter how many times he asked. Celine smiled at him tiredly. She must have a lot of work and responsibility to handle. He felt guilty for making her worried this morning, and the whole incident took some time out of her days. He really wanted her to rest a bit more. Once Martin got in the car, he saw several bags in the backseat. He was a bit curious about its content but thought to pass it. His curiosity didn’t matter. He kept quiet and asked about other things. “How’s your day? A lot of work to handle? Are you tired?” He turned to see that the woman in the driver's seat was smiling in answer. “Seeing you are looking so contented today, I am not the least bit tired,” Celine answered him. That smile
The Secret Island CHAPTER 88: Because You Are, I Am
Martin was on the balcony of his condo and staring into the bright blue sky that was considered rare for London. Once he got a chance to confess what happened and explain everything that he faced in life, he felt as if the grey clouds that surrounded him were disappearing.Celine told him she wanted to spend time with him all day, but her business was expanding, and she had meeting after meeting and not to mention the documents she had to review. Even though he wanted her to stay with him all day, he was the one that asked her to go to work as initially planned. He had no business disturbing her work schedule. Celine was an executive and had responsibilities to take care of. She had no time for this. Martin was still confused over what had just happened. His brain returned to the event that took place earlier this morning. His hand kept massaging his temple and his eyes fixated on the vast blue sky.Martin abruptly ceased all movement when he finally realized that he had told Celin
