Chapter 4: Losing Faith

Faith sat at her desk, spinning a pen in her fingers as Jed Jorrell went over the Polawski file with her. Rutherford was in charge of building a series of office buildings off Babcock Street for Mr. Vincent Polawski, and while everything Jed recited was routine, not to mention boring, Faith enjoyed listening to him talk. His tone was deep and playful, and you could always hear a smile in it, even when he read boring reports. She never noticed before how intoxicating his voice was. Nor had she noticed his hands with their long, thick fingers she could imagine caressing her nipples into taut, little pebbles aching for him to pinch them.

Faith gave her mind a mental shake, bringing it out of its bedroom thoughts, and sat up straighter in her desk chair as she focused on what Jed said. However, she blushed at the wetness between her legs. She couldn't believe how easily her mind went to sex these days. She had worked with these people for four years, and for the first part of that, the majority of her time at Rutherford really, she had only seen them as coworkers. Now, everyone had the potential of being a fuck buddy, at least in her fantasies.

She blamed Selby. Ever since he took her to that festival in Key West, sex seemed to be a permanent thought in her mind. The past few months had been a whirlwind of sensations she never thought possible and which now battled inside her mind against what others told her as she grew up was right and wrong. At times, it was all very confusing.

"Did you hear any of that?"

Faith glanced up and saw Jed handing her the manila folder, which held the report he just finished reading, and which she had ignored. She felt her face flush as she took the folder. "Of course, I did." Yet, she knew Jed had caught her daydreaming. It was a good thing he couldn't read her mind. Her pussy grew wetter at the embarrassment of being caught.

Jed just laughed. "Sure you did," he said as he stood. "Well, everything's in there if you need to look it up."

"Thanks," Faith said as she watched him leave her office, still chuckling.

When he left, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. My god, Faith. What has gotten into you? But she knew. What she didn't know was why the embarrassment of being caught, lost in her private fantasies, caused even more excitement between her legs.

As soon as Jed cleared the doorway, Edwin walked in, his cigarette resting behind his ear. Faith glanced at the clock. 10:15. He was right on time. "How are you girls doing?"

"Doing well," Faith said as she watched Cherish stop what she was doing and grab a cigarette from her purse. "Break time, I see."

Edwin smiled at her. "Lung killing time. Be glad you don't smoke."

"But why? If I smoked, I'd get extra breaks." Faith smiled back. "Maybe I should just pretend, so I can stand outside for a while."

"Perhaps you should just work." Cherish walked over to where Edwin stood. "Shall we?"

Edwin glanced at her and then back at Faith. "Did you want to take a break and join us? It's a gorgeous day outside."

Cherish's mouth dropped open for just a moment before she caught herself and clamped it shut. Still, it was obvious to Faith her sister did not care for the idea of Faith tagging along. Of course, that alone made her want to join them. Instead, however, she said, "No, thanks. I was just giving you a hard time. Maybe next time, though." Faith didn't understand the relief on Cherish's face. Did her sister hate her that much?

Edwin didn't seem to notice Cherish's reaction. "You can give me a hard time anytime you want." He winked at her. "Feel free to step away from your desk anytime you need. Everyone needs a break. Just be glad you don't smoke." Smokers always told non-smokers that, but they never took their own advice.

Faith just nodded as she told them to have a good time. She spun around to her monitor and read back over the file Jed handed her. As she glanced over it, she realized she had been daydreaming through most of what he said. She had to reread the entire file. But man, it was worth it.

"Hey, Faith, do you know where Cherish is?"

Faith was about to groan at not being able to get anything done because her office had a revolving door. However, when she noticed the lady standing behind Ashlynn, she was glad she kept quiet. "Mom? Is something wrong?" She stood to her feet and took a couple of steps closer to the two women.

"Why on earth would anything be wrong? Does anything have to be wrong for me to visit my daughter?" Faith noticed the singular "daughter," but didn't comment.

"No. No, of course not." She glanced at the blond receptionist and smiled. "I've got it, Ashlynn. Thank you." She didn't watch the girl leave. Instead, she turned Nessa's desk chair around for her mother and offered it to her with an open palm. "Cherish stepped out for a minute, but she'll be right back. What brings you by?"

Valerie Driscoll sat rigid in the desk chair, her legs pressed together and her back ramrod straight. Her hands rested on her thick black purse perched on her lap as if she needed the barrier between her and everyone else. Her short dark hair halted at the base of her scalp, as if afraid to grow any longer. Faith had always thought her mother had a harsh look about her with thin lips that always seemed pressed into disapproval and a narrow nose between tiny brown eyes. She was thin, too thin for Faith's tastes, and made to look even more so by her five-foot-ten body. She was a haughty lady, and Faith had always thought her mother born too late in history.

"I was going to let Cherish take me out to lunch. Do you know how much longer she'll be?"

"Lunch sounds fun. You should come up sometime and let me treat you one day." Faith forced her voice to sound pleasant. "There's a nice little café down on John Rhodes that has the best chicken salad."

Her mom's lips never moved into a smile. A smile would have been nice, at least a faint sign of promise that lunch could happen. "Oh, I thought you were too busy to have lunch away, or that you would have it with your husband or one of your many new friends."

"New friends? And my husband's name is Selby."

"I know."

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Cherish stood in the doorway, Edwin a step behind her.

Valerie Driscoll stood up, her purse strap still clutched in both hands. "Obviously being told I'm too stupid to know her husband's name."

Faith looked at her mother's back, which was all she saw of her now, and just rolled her eyes. Edwin wasn't sure what to do as his eyes flicked back and forth between all the women in the small office. Faith wanted to tell him to run.

"Edwin, this is my mom, Valerie. Mother, this is Edwin, our boss." Cherish didn't move from the doorway. "Now, what are you here for, Mom?"

"Lunch. I thought you and I could grab some lunch and discuss Jordie's upcoming birthday. I have some great party ideas, and I was nearby." Valerie ignored Edwin, as if the introduction hadn't happened.

Cherish just shook her head. "It's only ten-thirty, Mom. I can't take lunch, yet."

"No, no. Why don't you go ahead and take it, Cherish?" Edwin said as he pushed into the office. He glanced at Faith and concern filled his eyes. "After all, she came up here to see you. Matter of fact, make it a family thing, and all three of you go. Ashlynn can handle the phones for an hour."

Faith's eyes widened at the suggestion, and she wanted to kick him. Cherish saw the expression and smiled, but Valerie's back stiffened. "No, I'm good," Faith blurted out. "I need to get this file Jed gave me finished."

Valerie's back softened as she turned to face her middle child. "Are you sure? You just said you wanted to do lunch sometime."

Faith smiled. If only her mother meant those words, but Faith knew the truth. It was only a show now for a man Valerie had already dismissed as unimportant. "I'm good. You two go and enjoy."

With a nod, Cherish grabbed her purse and locked her desk. Mother and daughter walked out the door without so much as an "I'll bring you a doggie bag back." Faith watched them leave, both saying goodbye to Edwin on their way out as she sat there wondering what she ever did to her mother.

"I, um, screwed up?" Edwin sat on the corner of Nessa's desk. His hard body was soft with concern at having caused trouble or hurt feelings. His dark green eyes were tender, and Faith just wanted to crawl into them and hide.

She put on a strong smile as she leaned back in her chair. "No, it's all right. Mom and Cherish have always been close, which has never made sense to me. Then again, Cherish allows Mom to dictate some of her life, if not most, and I don't. My mother has always been a control freak."

Edwin nodded. "Family politics are never fun, and from what you've shared before, your family has a lot of inner politics."

Faith turned and stared out the window. It had been the politics that made her rush into Selby's arms. He had been her escape. He still was.