Paranoia

     The bakery had just shut down, and Lana was removing her apron when Tina approached her. She was responsible for training her and had been the first to make her feel welcome behind the counter at A Slice of Suzeth.

   "Did I hear right-do you live on BGC area? "she asked.

    The paranoia set in as Lana wondered where her co-worker had learned her address. Forcing herself to relax, she just nodded her head, plastering a feigned smile on her face.

"I'm just a few blocks from there. How do you get home?" Tina asked.

  "Oh, I walk," Lana said, feeling awful. She wished she could offer Tina ride, and after spending the day on her feet she could stand for a ride herself.

   "That's perfect! So do I. Come on, let's walk together-I'll show you all the cool places," Tina  said. It was more of a command than a suggestion, so Lana agreed, grabbing her jean jacket from the coat rack before following Tina out the front door.

   "This is my favorite season. You know, when the wind started to blow that even a small piece ogf leaves is swaying. That means Ber months is coming," Tina started.

    She was so talkative, and Lana had taken to her from the moment they met.

    There were some people you could just tell were genuine, and Tina was one of them. She was happy all the time, constantly going above and beyond to help customers throughout the day. Although Lana had never worked as a barista before, Tina was patient with her, taking the time to teach her everything more than once.

   "I like ber months, too," Lana forced herself to answer. She was shy and timid, at least since her disastrous marriage.

    Before she had submitted her life to Danny, she used to be very outgoing and personable, but now was closed off and suspicious of new connections. She had tried not to get close to anyone, because it made leaving more difficult. 

With a crazy husband always on her heels, Lana had to be ready to leave at the drop of a dime, and keeping to herself made that easier. But that lifestyle was tiring, and for once, she now felt that a new life was a possibility. If there was anyone she thought she could trust, it was Tina. 

   "That's the best months in this country, " Tina exclaimed, pointing towards a small restaurant on the corner. People flooded from the shop carrying bags of food, and I made a mental note to try out the restaurant one day.

    "So, how long have you lived in Taguig?" Lana asked, hoping not to weird Tina out by being too quiet.

"Born and raised actually," Tina houted so loudly a couple walking into the Italian restaurant turned in their direction.

Unable to bite back her mirth, Lana erupted in giggles and Tina joined her. The two women laughed together as they continued through the colorful neighborhood. She was relaxed and comfortable, asking for the closest laundry mat and pharmacy, trying to get her bearings in the new community.

"Where are you from?" Tina asked.

"Is it that obvious that I'm not from around here?" Lana shot back, smiling broadly.

"You're too-nervous." Tina answered, unease evident on her face. She didn't want to offend Lana, but she had noticed that there was something off with her the first day they met. She had a high wall built up, but she wanted her to know that she could lower it when it was just the two of them. She would never betray her or repeat anything shared privately.

    "Nervous?" Lana giggled, but in the back of her mind she knew exactly what Tina was hinting at. She was paranoid, always worried someone was out to get her.

"I don't know. It's like everything is new to you, and it's written all over your face. You're the tourist looking at a map on the corner of the street. I can tell you're not completely comfortable. That's why I wanted to walk home with you. Once you get the hang of the neighborhood, you're going to fit in perfectly," Tina explained.

    It was the truth, but she had no idea how just how right she was. Lana was uncomfortable navigating the new neighborhood, so it was incredibly sweet of Tina to offer to show her around.

     Together, they walked past all of Tina's favorite places, while she gave recommendations on the best days to visit and the most delicious dishes. She was grateful, trying to remember as much as she could.

     Everything was finally beginning to feel normal, as the tension dissolved with each step they took together. Lana thought the fear was gone until Tina nnounced she would be breaking off to head in a different direction, leaving her to walk the rest of the distance on her own.

     Anxiety rushed in as her heart raced with the possibilities. The sun was setting and before long it would be dark. She hated to be out in the dark, especially alone. Walking twice as fast, she rushed to get back to her apartment, glancing over her shoulder every few feet.

      She could feel the presence behind her, hear the footsteps gaining, but every time she turned to look, there was no one there. Danny had filled her with so much fear that even though she'd remained a step ahead of him over the last two years, she was terrified of what he might do to her.

     He always said she could never escape him, and in those times she believed him. Her paranoia was ridiculous, but what could she do? Every other place she had gone, Danny eventually showed up to prove he could track her down whenever he wanted. Lana's only hope was that he no longer wanted anything to do with her. She knew how unlikely that was, because he was the type that never wanted to give his toys away, and that was all Lana ever was to him.

   While they were together, all Danny wanted was for her to be a dutiful wife. He had so many rules she had to live by and if she ever questioned his reign, there would be hell to pay.

      She lived her life in constant fear that she would finally have to answer for walking away from the man who terrorized her.

     Before long, she was jogging, trying to reach her apartment as fast as possible. The night was chasing her, and she didn't want to get caught in the new neighborhood, or find herself lost. There were a few twists and turns, and Tina had taken a different way to showcase all the area had to offer.

     Struggling to stay calm, Lana watched her feet moving quickly, one in front of the other, before returning her focus ahead. There was a man a little ways down the street who caught her attention. His broad shoulders filled his suit very well, in a way that made her stomach drop.

Danny only wore suits, regardless of whether he was attending a family function or defending criminals in the court room. Watching the stranger with caution in her movements, Lana was filled with relief when the man turned to face her. While he might have had the football player build of her husband, this man looked nothing like the clean-shaven man she had married. It was too close of a call though, so she took off running without shame. It didn't matter who saw her, she just wanted to get back to her safe space.

    An elderly man sitting on the porch of his home leaned forward in his rocking chair when she passed his house. Watching her closely, the man smiled as their eyes locked, and for some reason that gave her bit of security. She felt the old man's watchful eye as she made it to her apartment building, confident that if anyone jumped out to grab her, he would be watching, curious as to where the young woman was running.

    When she finally got there, Lana took two steps at a time, climbing to the fourth floor as if she was being chased up each flight. You needed a key to enter her building, but even that didn't make her feel secure. 

    In addition to the dead bolt already installed, Lana had added four other locks to her front door, making six in total. In a rush to enter her place, she regretted the extra layer of security as she fumbled with her keys.

     If anyone were after her, they'd have the perfect opportunity to overpower her as she struggled with the door. Thankfully, there was no one after her, despite the fear she felt deep in her stomach. When she finally unlocked the door, she rushed inside, slamming the door shut before carefully locking each of the six locks.

   

    Resting her back against the heavy door, she inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the cool air. A relaxing stroll with Tina had quickly turned to panic, but she was regaining her composure as she looked around the small apartment.

   She examined the boxes, questioning if she had opened the one in the corner, or if someone had been rummaging through her things while she was at work. She knew it was outlandish, but she would put nothing past Danny when it came to getting back at her.

    She had to think outside the box and leave nothing off the table when trying to prepare for what Danny had planned for her. He was unpredictable and relentless when it came to getting what he wanted. 

    "You're home. It's okay," she said aloud, hoping to calm herself down. Lana's hands trembled as she dropped the set of keys into the pear-shaped glass dish she left on the dining room table. 

      It was overwhelming to live with such fear, but there didn't seem to be any other option for her. She was on her own, responsible with her safety and well-being. Many might call her behavior overzealous, but Lana didn't care. She just wanted to feel safe.

      A lone tear fell down her cheek as she thought back to the last time she felt completely safe. She was on a trip to Davao, away from Danny while he worked in Minnesota.  She was going to unwind and enjoy herself at the massive hotel pool.

     Her husband had never liked her exposing too much of her body, but with him away in another state, she felt the risk was pretty low. 

Slipping out of her thin cover-up, she laid out on the beach chair, ready for a tan.

    "Can I get you anything?" The voice had awakened her, although she didn't even notice she'd fallen asleep.

     "Oh, sorry," she muttered, moving her hand above her eyes to provide a bit of shade.

     The waiters at the hotel pool wore brightly colored swim trunks as they went from one cabana to the next taking orders. This waiter wasn't wearing a swim suit though, and as the realization set in, the safety she had felt earlier melted away.

    "You look comfortable," the voice said. With a sick feeling, Lana recognized it was Danny from his cuff links. Dressed in a black tailored suit, he looked completely out of place at the pool, but that didn't stop him.

    "What are you doing here?" Lana had asked, stalling for time as she scrambled to grab her cover up, hiding her exposed body.

     "Oh, don't worry about covering up now. You've already shown everyone my goods," Danny shrugged, speaking about her like she was nothing more than a possession.

       Back in the present, her eyes closed as her shoulders dropped a bit, the relief evident in her belly. When her breathing finally regulated, 

she walked to her bedroom, plopping down on the comfortable king size bed as she took a deep breath, finally safe in her own place.

"It's going to be okay. You're finally safe," she continued, speaking in a soothing tone.