Chapter 10 : Girl's Night

CW: Mentions of domestic abuse and sexual assault

Seraphina's POV

Another week passed with another letter from Abe. Same as usual. William drowned himself in drugs, alcohol, and women. However, Abe suspects he will be sending out spies to the Outskirts soon.

So while outwardly, William seemed like he was living it up, he still had a plan for me. Abe would warn me when and who to look out for when William finally dispatched his spies, but until then, I should stay comfortable. Don't be afraid until there's something to fear.

Enjoy the little things.

I was free.

And he was right.

Rosie had convinced me to go out with her tonight. Have some fun, just adults, while her mom watches over Annika. I didn't trust many people to watch my little Annie, but Susanne was one of them.

Sweet like her husband and fierce like her daughter. We got along great. And lucky for me, Annika was going to sleep around eight at night and sleeping until seven the next day.

Her birthday was coming up too, and I couldn't wait to get her the biggest cupcake from Lee's Bakery and watch her make a mess. I'd get her fancy blocks and racecars.

I didn't want anything big. Just me, Rosie, Susanne, and maybe…Kit.

Damn it. The thought of the man prickled my skin. He made me feel hot under the collar. And I hadn't talked to him since I came to the sound of his voice.

My cheeks flushed with shame.

Why did I do that?

You know what? I wouldn't dwell on it. I'll just pretend it never happened.

Nope. Never happened.

I sighed, picking out some clothes to wear for tonight. I usually wore sweaters, and long sleeves to hide my hands. But showing my wedding ring wouldn't be such a bad thing tonight. It could keep me from getting unwanted attention.

Besides, the only attention I wanted was from Kit.

My stomach flip-flopped.

No.

I didn't want his attention. I didn't want anyone's attention. That couldn't happen. Not when Annika was still so little and I had a vengeful ex-husband who would come for me any day now. Friends. We would be friends.

I wanted Kit in my life. I liked him. I liked how he made me feel like it was natural. Like I wasn't this damaged person. It felt like I'd known him my entire life. It was easy.

But I couldn't cross that line again. I wasn't ready for it, even if…no, there was no even if. I needed to leave my feelings at that.

Not ready.

A knock sounded at my bedroom door, and I was still in my pajamas. A fuzzy sweater.

"You can come in," I answered.

Rosie sauntered in. "Hey, are you ready to…" She glanced at my clothes. "You are definitely not going anywhere in that."

I rubbed the back of my neck, gazing into my closet. All these clothes were picked out before I even arrived at the homestead. And they never saw the light of day. I lived in sweaters and pajama pants. The occasional sweater and jeans.

I gazed at cute dresses and tops and…I released a resigned breath. "I don't know what to wear. I've just…I haven't gone out since I got married."

Rosie's hair was curled and unbridled around her face. Jeans and a low-cut t-shirt finished off with her biker boots and leather jacket. She looked great and I looked like a blob. A fuzzy blob. "Do you want me to pick something out for you?" Rosie asked.

My lips curled into a sideways sheepish smile. "Would you?"

"Of course, hun," she promised. "I got you."

I tucked some of my hair behind my ear and stepped out of her way as she came over to the closet. "Thanks, Rosie."

"What do you like to wear? Dresses? Jeans? Give me something to go off of," she asked, filing through the clothes, scraping the hangers along the bar.

"This mainly," I replied, gesturing to my ensemble.

Rosie arched an amused brow. "Okay, I'm taking all creative control then." She turned back to the clothes, selecting a mauve sundress. The skirt was decorated with flowers and overall it was really pretty.

But it would show off the marks on my back. The scars on my shoulders. I could never wear something like that. "I-I don't know about that."

"This shade would compliment your skin tone and your hair. It's a good length, past your knee. Not too low cut," Rosie offered. "Why don't you want to wear it?"

I twisted my hands together, pulling my sleeves over my fingers. Rosie must've forgotten about the scars. I always covered them as if it was shameful. But there was nothing shameful about being a victim. My ex-husband should be the one who was ashamed.

I knew that.

But it still didn't help the mortification mottling my face. "I-It's the…marks," I muttered. "All over my back. My shoulders."

A realization crossed Rosie's face, but she didn't ask anything else. She turned back to the closet and rummaged until she found a chunky white sweater with a little bit of shimmery fabric in it that would cover the top half of the dress. "How about this? It compliments the dress and you can still be comfortable."

Glossiness coated my eyes at the sweet gesture. "Thank you."

"As I said, I got you, girl," Rosie promised. "Now get ready! The night is young. Annika is asleep and my mom has her soaps queued up for the evening. Tonight is about you having fun."

A smile stretched across my face as Rosie left my room, closing the door behind her so I could get ready.

***

Now fully dressed, wearing lightly colored flats to match my dress, my pale blonde hair down and wavy. I felt so excited climbing into Rosie's car.

I was never allowed a girl's night out, nor did I have any friends on the packlands. Even before Annika. My days consisted of standing next to William for public appearances. Being locked in his bedroom when I wasn't of use. Then he'd wake me up in the dead of night and do whatever he wanted to me.

Either take his rage out on me or…

Or…

It didn't matter anymore. Everything he did to me was behind me now. I was my own woman again. Not a pawn or object or piece of meat.

Despite my deep loathing of William, he wasn't awful all the time. I'd get moments of peace. Moments of seeing what it could be like to have a loving husband. Almost like he felt guilt for how he treated me in the night.

He'd stroke my shoulders. Whisper apologies in my ear. And I had to lay there, petrified to move because it felt like anything I did would only set him off.

But even if he felt remorse, he still hurt me again the next night—an endless cycle. The apologies were never for me, they were for him.

Nonetheless, I'd use them to pretend.

Pretend he was looking at me with love and not disgust.

Pretend that was the last time.

Pretend his touch didn't hurt me anymore.

I'd play a part. And I did it to survive.

William broke me down into what I needed to be to survive him, but now…I needed to discover myself all over again. Let that part of me die so I could bloom into who I really was.

"So, I was thinking we could go out to dinner, and have a nice peaceful night?" Rosie offered, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at her. Peaceful sounded really nice. I loved Annika, but peace was not programmed into her. "That sounds great! Where are we going?"

"It's a bar in town. A full bar, but their food menu is to die for."

I didn't drink, but I did love some bar food. Burgers and cheese fries and nachos. They were all delicious. "Yum, I'm starving."

When we got there, it wasn't super busy. A few people frequented the bar. Another handful of people was having conversations over mountains of cheesy potatoes. I'd died and gone to potato heaven, I swear.

"Rosie!" The hostess greeted, offering both her and me a broad smile. She was young, probably in her late teens.

"Hey, Taylor! How's it going?" Rosie continued as if addressing an old friend. I was starting to like that about small towns. Everyone knew everyone, but this small town also seemed excited to welcome newcomers too.

"Same old, same old. Who's this?" Taylor asked curiously, sniffing the air as if trying to discern who or what I was.

Rosie shrugged nonchalantly, nudging me with her elbow. "This is my friend, Sera. She's new in town."

Taylor beamed. "Oh! Well then welcome to Charlie's Bar and Grill! Just you two, no Kit tonight?"

"Just us."

The young girl's face fell a little bit, getting some water for us as she guided us through the restaurant. "Oh, okay. Let me get you to your booth then."

Rosie seemed to laugh under her breath. "You know Kit's too old for you, right Tay?"

The teenager flushed big time and I had to bite back a laugh. "I know! I know! Here are your menus. Kevin is your server." The girl didn't say anything else, scurrying back to her podium.

Rosie tossed her hair over a shoulder, chuckling a little. "Everyone and their mom seem to have a crush on Kit. Who can blame them though? He's got a killer smile."

I fought the rising heat in my cheeks because I, too, seemed to have a massive crush on him. I was just like everyone else in this town. I reached for my water, gulping as I uttered, "Oh?"

"Yep, but not like he's interested in any of them," Rosie continued, glancing over the menu.

Suddenly, I felt my fingertips go cold. What if he was seeing someone?

Kit never mentioned anyone.

My mind started to race. I'd feel horrible if I'd been fantasizing about someone who was taken. "Is he seeing anyone right now?"

Rosie snorted. "No." She laughed again under her breath like she knew something I didn't. "Why? Are you interested?"

I nearly choked, face flaming. "N-No. I-I mean…I—"

"If you say so," she snickered, cutting me off before I could entangle myself in a lie. "You don't have anything to worry about, Sera."

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Rosie ignored my inquisitive expression and turned the menu over to me. "Wanna share some mac n' cheese bites?"

"Um, yeah. Of course," I replied.

Kevin stepped up to the table, greeting us and taking our order. His ears were pulled into exaggerated points, a long and lean build about him. Purple-hued eyes and tribal markings along his wrists. Elvish.

Proving to me that the outskirts were more than just shifters and humans. Other people had settled in comfortably too. I wondered what he left behind. Family? Land? His culture even? I could leave it all behind too, knowing Annika would be surrounded by all sorts of people when she started going to school.

Rosie and I settled into a good conversation about her homestead and her alchemy business. The mac n' cheese bites were a good call. They were delicious. By the time my main course came, I didn't think I'd have room for it.

Suddenly, Rosie laughed around a bite of her burger, glancing in the direction of the door as it rang. "Of course."

"What?" I asked, looking over my shoulder.

Instantly, I felt this white-hot tether in my chest tighten, prickling the skin under my sweater and twisting my belly with delight.

Sure enough, Kit had just walked in with a few other guys. Looking as amazing as he always did in his slutty short-sleeved shirts. Did he never get cold? Would it kill him to cover up, just once? For my sake?

His mossy eyes met mine almost instantly and my skin started to boil. Redness flooded my face and quickened the pace of my heart. Memories of his sexy voice over the phone and the way it made me come undone without him even touching me.

Oh, shit.

I pressed my thighs together under the table when a wave of lust hit me just from looking at him. He waved at me and I gave him a small, shy wave back.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Rosie muttered. "Just when I thought I wouldn't have to deal with the boys tonight." She cleared her throat and shouted, "You better have brought Levi with you!"

Kit came over, tall and broad, and I noticed how people turned their heads to look at him. "What, Ro? Am I not good enough for you?"

"No," she replied flatly.

Kit rolled his eyes, scoffing, "Yeah, Levi's coming."

She stuck her tongue out. "Good."

Kit glanced down at me before his voice softened. "Hey, Sera."

"H-Hey." Damn that stammer and his rough voice.

"You look nice tonight."

My cheeks flushed and I tugged on my sleeves. "Thanks."

He pulled his lower lip between his teeth, sending a ripple of longing through me again. The only reason I wasn't inclined to kiss him right then and there was because of the audience of a—now full—bar.

One of the guys that came in with him called his name and he turned over his shoulder and replied, "Yeah, I'll be right there." He looked back over at Rosie and me and asked, "Will you two be heading out soon?"

"We'll leave whenever Sera wants to," Rosie answered.

"Do you want a drink?" Kit offered. "They have some fruity lemonade."

He remembered. I tucked some hair behind my ear. "That'd be nice."

A soft smile curled on his lips. "Okay, I'll be right back."

"And grab me a beer! The weirder the better!" Kit gave Rosie a thumbs up over his shoulder and stepped away.

I turned back to Rosie who was sipping her drink, eyebrow raised. Giving me to most incredulous look. "What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing," Rosie replied with a playful roll of her eyes and a little repressed grin on her lips. "Just that…you seemed pretty interested right then."

"I am not," I retorted.

"Okay…forget I said anything then," she snickered, returning to her meal as Kit brought us our drinks.