Chapter 4

 

Blindingly bright fluorescent lights, full-on blasted air conditioner, and complete silence.

This always seems to be the case during her job interviews. If the HR didn’t want to see her right away, they would make her wait awhile before officially coming in and finally interview her. She had no idea whether this was some sort of mind game they played with potential employees, but nonetheless she went with it. But of course, it still doesn’t erase the fact that she’s completely terrified and wishes it would end soon.

It doesn’t matter whether she’s gone to one or a hundred job interviews, they still continue to torment her. What, with some of the unexpected questions they ask according to the type of company they run.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long.”

Megan snaps out of her breakdown of a trance and looks up at the unfamiliar face before her. “It’s fine.”

Different from the pleasant woman from HR minutes ago, a slim and somewhat attractive man stands behind the only desk in the room. He carries this aura of arrogance that Megan couldn’t quite pinpoint. Is it the trendy clothes? Is it the hipster glasses? Or is it just the half-smirk, half-smile he’s wearing with way too much confidence?

Despite Megan’s judgements, the interview goes smoothly. At least the first half of it does. The second half takes an unexpectedly aggravating turn.

“So, here’s a Miss Universe question. If you were to choose, would you go with what your parents wanted for you or what you wanted for yourself?” Justin, (douchebag-like) advertising executive of K Zine, asks her.

This is easy. She thinks before giving a swift answer, “The latter.”

His expression suddenly changes and his eyebrows furrow in confusion and curiosity. “Why so?”

“Because I always know what I want. My parents were and have always been more than supportive about it,” she says simply.

He chuckles. “Even if you still don’t truly know what you want?”

She merely directs a questioning look at him.

“It’s right here in your resume,” he points out, showing her the piece of paper, “You worked a couple of odd jobs here and there for a couple of years and then most recently, you worked as a secretary for this corporate company for almost a year. All of a sudden, you want to become an editor in a well-established fashion magazine. Is that knowing what you want?”

“Yes.” Her usually cold disposition grows even colder, though her tone remains calm. “There’s a difference between knowing what I want right now and not knowing what I want at all.”

“So, you agree? What you want changes?” he nitpicks further, wanting to see even a tiny bit of a nervous breakdown. It’s what he came here for. A bit of fun. Candidates with a pretty face were always his playthings.

“It’s human nature, isn’t it?” she counters unfazed.

“Then, what makes you think you’ll last here at K Zine?" he taunts with a smug smirk.

It takes her awhile to reply, but when she does, there’s conviction in her voice. “Because I was earning a living.”

"I'm sorry?" His brain dials back to confusion, but he can’t help getting pumped by a tiny bit of adrenaline at her fighting spirit. Damn, this girl is actually entertaining for once.

“I was earning and saving money for so long. That’s what drove me,” she explains, “But now that doesn’t matter as much to me.”

“Not even a little bit?” he pries, hoping the tense atmosphere between them doesn’t end.

She only shakes her head no in response.

“Well… that’s a damn shame.” He sighs, knowing that playtime’s almost over. “You’re smart, you’re young, you’re driven… and you’re beautiful too.”

She wants to ask how in the world her appearance connects to this interview, but she decides to bear with it and keep her mouth shut. After all, this isn’t the first time it has happened.

“Unfortunately, that’s not what we’re looking for at the moment,” Justin concludes with a fake sympathetic smile as he continues in a condescendingly sarcastic and playful tone, “You’re welcome to take our receptionist’s job if you like. It’s similar to being a secretary. We wouldn’t want to waste that beautiful face of yours.”

Megan feels her jaw clench at the insult that’s just been directed at her, but she manages to keep her composure. Her mind instantly tries to think of a way to leave or escape.

“Or maybe you know someone of a higher position around here? Or anyone who works here for that matter. Connections are enough to get you anywhere.” The now-confirmed douchebag decides to poke even more fun at her.

Only eerie silence surrounds them in the room.

She isn't about to waste another breath talking to this asshole. Not because she might explode in rage unimaginable by mankind, but because tears may actually form in her eyes out of nowhere and she’d throw the biggest fit that is definitely the opposite of pretty. What hurt the most about his statement is not because it’s degrading, but because it’s true. Especially in a country like the Philippines. Connections are everything.

It’s no wonder the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. You survive the workforce by kissing epic ass instead of improving your own skills. You choose to corrupt your own morals and badmouth others to make your way to the top instead of treating every other person as your equal. No one is else is worthy of succeeding but you. Crab mentality at its finest. Holler at the 333 years of Spanish colonization, as they say.

“Any last words? At all?” Justin finally breaks the silence and turns up the cocky attitude with a pompous smirk. “Well then, it was nice meeting you.”

Megan’s growing sullenness subsides for a moment as she puts on the widest smile and declares, “Choke on a disease-infested dick.”

His jaw merely drops in shock, his mouth unable to form a word, let alone a sentence.

Feeling as if her job is done (yes, she’s rather proud of herself), she immediately walks away from him without a sparing glance and leaves the room.

But as soon as she finds the farthest bathroom and locks the door behind her, tears start falling out of her eyes.

Why am I crying??? Her first thought seems to scold her instead of question her. I gave him a piece of my mind. Which was satisfying but…

But what?

She looks up at her reflection in the mirror and her thoughts finally give her a proper answer. But this is the reality I have to face.

Cocky assholes like him exist because of the way the world works. The way our brains are always set to "Go, go, go!!" as soon as you reach high school. Go study and get good grades! Go hurry up and figure out what you want to do for a living! Go and work hard until the day you die! Everything passes you by in this fast blur and before you know it, you’re stuck with a job you never wanted in the first place, but had to take anyway.

Why? Simple. You’re willing to do anything to help your family get through every single living day.

And it’s not like you’re the only one with the same problems. It’s a tough competition out there. A rat race. Each person even more vicious than the other as they climb up the ladder. It gets so suffocating, to the point that sometimes you’re not given any time to think anymore. And all because of a simple and stupid resume.

No matter what a piece of paper contains regarding your “professional” experience, will it ever truly express all the hardships you’ve endured? Will it ever show the sacrifices you made in order to get to where you are now? Will it ever be enough for anyone?

Megan may not have a master’s degree or studied abroad after high school or college, or even worked for a renowned company like the lucky chosen ones. But she’s just as capable. Even if it looked like she’d been fucking around for the last three years, she did nothing but work her ass off for the sake of her family. That much she knows. And it angers and frustrates her that something as small as a fucking resume measures her worth.

But that’s just how the world goes ‘round, doesn’t it? That’s just how the world fucking works.

Megan can only stare at the pavement and try to get rid of her still somewhat (and stubbornly) puffy eyes and red nose. After letting it all out in the bathroom, she managed to get a few splashes of water from the sink on her face. Unfortunately, someone came knocking on the door like it was the end of the world. So, she gathered all the tissues she could get and left the room in a flash.

Now that she thinks about it, how long has she been standing outside of the building?

As soon as she snaps back to her immediate surroundings, other senses come to play. She hears the unrelenting noise of the city, smells the mix of smoke, sewer, and some sort of sweaty palm in the air, and feels a truck load of sweat already trickling down every part of her body. Luckily, her hair’s in a messy bun, so she doesn’t have to worry about it turning into an unwanted catastrophe on top of the disaster she’s just been through.

“Megan?”

She sniffs before turning to look towards the direction of the rather familiar voice.

An exceedingly tall (at least 180 centimeters) and beautifully tan guy shares the most genuine smile she’s seen. “It IS you!!! What are the chances?” he exclaims in pure joy as he nears her.

Upon hearing his voice and putting all the pieces together (warm smile and tan skin, plus lean body and boy next door vibes can only mean one person), she utters in disbelief, “Ja—Jacob?”

“Damn right, Megs!” he bubbles and pulls her in for a huge hug.

Her eyes widen in shock, still not able to believe that one of the Ocampo brothers is right in front of her. She merely stands frozen in place, holding her arms up in the middle of the affectionate gesture.

“What are you doing here?” The twinkle in his eyes is unmistakably bright in curiosity, maybe even anticipation.

“Job interview.” She didn’t want to say anything more than that. “You?”

He nods, not making anything of her short response. “I was just visiting a cousin who works around here.” He points aimlessly at a random building before getting a good look at her.

In the ten years that they’ve not seen each other, he has to admit that both of them have changed a lot. Well, more like evolved, on Megan’s part. Simply and truthfully put, she's beautiful. There are other ways to describe her presence, but that's what she ultimately is.

If he’s to go into details, the first thing you’d notice about her is her ash brown, voluminous locks that cascade until her stomach. Then there’s her milky white skin, though her face is a shade darker than he remembers. Her nose is tiny, but not flat. There's a bit of a point to it, but not to the extent of intimidation. Her lips, though slightly chapped, are thin and posh. And her eyes? Bewitching. Cat-like and fiery, yet honest and warm.

Is this really his childhood friend right in front of him? Jacob never really thought of anything about anyone when they were children. The girls around him were never pretty (well, unless he had a crush on them, which rarely happened) or ugly. He just saw them as they were: kids. He assumes that maybe it’s just that it’s been so long. Or maybe Megan is just THAT enchanting now.

Noticing how long he’s been staring without saying anything, he manages to drawl, “Wow…” Right, he could do better than that. “… You’ve… grown…” Aced it.

“People normally do that, Jacob,” she points out playfully and shakes her head. She didn’t catch any of the staring since she was doing the same. Evidently, he doesn’t look much like his brother, but most people would consider Jacob the cuter one of the two. That was never the case for her though.

A half-nervous and half-amused laugh escapes his mouth. “I mean, you look good.”

“Thanks.” She smiles briefly and continues, “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“What are we, on a date or something? No wonder I feel nervous,” he jokes, unconsciously scratching the back of his neck and feeling shy.

“Always the joker,” she remarks.

He shrugs, but shares a tiny and proud smile.

Feeling more comfortable, she inquires this time, “How long have you been in Manila?”

“A week or so. Our flight was awhile back,” he replies, “We didn’t really feel the need to tell everyone until they were all here.”

She nods, understanding the “we” and “our” meant him and Jared.

“I’m waiting for my Uber by the way. How are you going home?”

“Gonna catch the bus in Glorietta.”

“Great! I’m headed there. You can ride with me.” He flashes a grin, which immediately turns into a pout the minute he sees her hesitant expression. “Don’t even start. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, you know.”

She ponders on the expenses of riding with him versus riding alone. A no-brainer, surely, because it’s always cheaper to ride with someone else.

“Okay,” she finally agrees. It isn’t going to be too bad, isn’t it? What happened to her several minutes ago has, at this point, already been forgotten.

One would think that matters would escalate to a more awkward atmosphere during the car ride. But Jacob truly had a way of making you feel at ease with him. It kind of reminds her of his brother. Jared could make you feel safe without saying anything at all. It’s just his presence, his aura, that made you feel secure no matter what.

If Megan could give a better analogy for them, Jacob would be an energetic, warm, and sweet Beagle puppy, while Jared would be a quiet, stoic, yet gentle Great Dane. It’s also no surprise that their personalities had a bit of a contrast, since Jacob is the younger sibling. The youngest child in the family had a tendency of being more open and affectionate.

Jacob did most of the talking during the thirty-minute ride, generally just catching up on their current situations and any interesting happenings, which he didn’t mind at all. Megan was a lot quieter than he was used to, but people change, right? It felt weird to even make a comparison, but she seemed to be a female Jared in that moment. There was a mystery about her and she definitely had her walls pretty high up. He was sure of that.

And she had no plans of breaking it down. Of course, Megan knew that Jacob meant well. But there was always that “what if?” bugging her at the back of her mind. What if he turns on her too? What if he’s just faking his kindness? What if he sees her as a burden? She couldn’t take the risk. Not until she witnesses actual proof that he can be trusted.

To be fair, he did try his best to find out why and how she had this unbreakable barrier surrounding her. Not because he wanted to pry and get it over with, but because her 180-degree change in personality was gradually coming as a shock to him.

Growing up, Megan was loud and some would even peg her as a leader. So, what exactly happened all these years? Before he can utter a carefully constructed question regarding the matter, they arrive at their destination.

“You hungry? Let’s go grab some lunch,” Jacob says instead, as soon as they get out of the vehicle.

Megan immediately shakes her head, quite terrified at the idea. “No, I’m good.”

“Come on! My parents have been dying to see you and Jared would be pumped!”

Her heart rate unconsciously shoots up at the mere mention of his brother’s name. That’s what scares her even more. Jacob and his parents she could handle, but adding Jared to the mix leads the road to the unknown. This is a social situation she clearly hasn’t prepared for. Not yet at least.

“I don’t want to impose—”

“When have you ever? Your mom and my mom could’ve been sisters in another life,” he reasons with a pout.

Megan eyes him suspiciously, knowing his statement is more than true. Both their moms have been keeping in touch all these years, way better than they have. Mrs. Ocampo even sends her presents every now and then. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad seeing the whole family again.

And at least, as far as she knows, Jacob’s unaware of the complicated history she has with his brother.

Sensing reluctance on her side, Jacob further asserts, “Free food, Megs. You know you want to.”

Or is he?

Ah puta24, fuck it. She thinks, making a face. “Fine.”

“Awesome!!” the enthusiastic man cheers before they start heading to the restaurant. Thankfully, the mall isn’t crowded since it’s around 1:30 in the afternoon on a Monday. People don’t swarm until at least 5 p.m. And the minute they arrive, Megan is welcomed with endless enthusiasm.

“Aaaayy!! Megan, ijah25!!! It’s been so long!!” Mrs. Ocampo instantly greets her with open arms and a wide smile. Like any other Filipino mom, she’s smaller than the average woman and has standout jet black dyed hair.

“Good afternoon po, tita.” Megan returns her smile and leans in for a quick beso-beso26.

“Ganda mo ha27!!” Mrs. Ocampo gushes, gazing at the young lady with much admiration. She then turns to her husband, who’s taller than her, but not to the point where you’d notice right away. “So pretty. No, hon?”

Megan couldn’t help but bite back a smile at the compliment she’s receiving. As expected from Mrs. Ocampo, she never fails to make you feel good with an honest statement. But if she thought you were condescending, you’d know it. If she thought you were a little shit, you definitely were. It’s just the law of nature. Nonetheless, Megan considers her as one of the first people who helped her find her confidence growing up.

“Naman28!” Mr. Ocampo happily agrees as Megan reaches out for a mano29. “Kamusta30, Megan?”

“Mabuti naman po31,” she answers with a small smile.

As they sit down, he carries on with the conversation, “Where do you work now? Last time I heard you were working at that corpo company.”

Megan can already feel the love life question coming right after this one. “I’m actually looking for another job, but I’m working there until the end of the month,” she manages to respond with her usual calm demeanor.

“Let’s not talk about work, dad,” Jacob voices lightly, knowing that his parents will eventually venture into his own working situation. Which is, in most cases, either non-existent or complicated.

“Okay.” Mr. Ocampo shrugs as he turns to Megan and shares a mischievous smile. “So, do you have a boyfriend?”

There it is. Megan thinks before the whole table bursts into laughter. She never really minded questions about her love life, unless they (meaning entitled titos and titas) actually pushed too hard on it or felt the need to give her advice, or even try and set her up with someone they know. It’s a question that gets thrown around the minute you hit puberty. Whether you’re a boy or girl in the Filipino community, as long as you’re young and single, you’re bound to be asked about it. They won't greet you with the usual hellos and kisses. They'll just greet you with the unnecessary question. Megan's hardly surprised by it anymore.

“Did you text Jared again? Tagal naman ng batang eto32,” Mrs. Ocampo says to her son, who’s sitting across her, and tsks impatiently. She then directs her eyes at Megan. “You’d think he was eaten by the toilet bowl by now.”

The younger woman softly giggles at this, knowing what Jacob’s mom is referring to. A childhood memory which didn’t play out well for Jared, but was the funniest moment for everyone else.

As if on cue, in a matter of only a few seconds, Jacob spots his brother entering the restaurant with a couple of shopping bags in hand. “Here na33, ma,” he says, pointing at him.

Megan’s eyes immediately find Jared’s before her brain could properly digest the information and figure out what to do. Towering (though not as much as his younger sibling) with prominently strong muscles and undeniable charisma, Jared saunters to their table.

All while she’s caught in the haze of a surreal daydream and couldn’t stop staring at him, even when he’d finally sat down next to his mom.

He did change, like any other growing young adult. But he looked so much like he did when they were kids. In more technical terms, he got an upgrade (she refuses to use the word “glo-up", because it sounds like a stupid toy), and a hugely excellent one at that.

Gone with the buzz cut style, his hair is much more refined yet unkempt. His lips are as plump as ever and his eyes… those damn eyes. Their friends would describe it as constantly bored or mean (it doesn’t help that he happens to also have a resting bitch face). But to her? Those are the very eyes that pierced through her soul yet brought out an unexpected demureness in her. The eyes that reassured her whenever she doubted herself or needed a helping hand. The eyes that made her heart soar and stomach flip in more ways than one.

And all of a sudden, Megan feels like she’s eleven again and she’s lost control of her mind. A tidal wave of nostalgia and lost emotions find their way back to her. Bringing her to the place she thought she would never see, hear, or touch once more in this lifetime.

Felicity was right. I can be stupid sometimes.