Chapter 5

I had been sitting down on the roof of my house for hours and it was almost daybreak. 

I didn't want to go to my room because that would mean facing reality. And j didn't want to.

I inclined my neck and watched the sky. The moon goddess was probably somewhere in there. Watching as the fate she made out for me played to her satisfaction. She was probably snickering, mocking me for ever imagining and believing that I would have a happy ending.

I chuckled bitterly, "Are you enjoying this? Am I entertaining you enough?" I said into the cold night, asking no one in particular.

"Is this enough entertainment or you have more? I know you have more, bring it on. Just bring it on already. You evil god."

When the sun began to rise, I went back to my room through the window. And I didn't know when I fell asleep but my eyes groggily opened and when I checked the time, it was past ten in the morning.

I missed school.

And I was totally unbothered.

What was the point of going to school when I was getting killed in ten months time?

It was all useless. Everything was all useless. All my efforts to be happy despite what life threw mercilessly at me. All my optimism was all useless. Even my existence as a whole was totally useless. 

My phone's ringtone sounded off and glanced at the caller ID, it read Maddie. 

I looked away and allowed it to continue ringing. When it stopped ringing, I saw on my phone screen that I had twenty missed calls, all from Madison and Jonathan.

The phone started ringing again and I decided to just switch it off.

"Dahlia! You wretched girl! Stop testing my patience and get down here!" I heard Aunt Kristen scream.

When she got no response, she added, "I know you're in your room! Get over here!"

I sighed and flipped over my duvet. I could ignore everybody but not my grandma and my aunt.

I opened the door and headed downstairs. When I got to the stairs landing, I felt a hand hit my head hard, I turned and locked eyes with my aunt's scornful look.

"Is this your poor attempt at rebelling?! How dare you ignore me for hours?!" 

I knew she hit my head with all the strength in her, even her strength as a werewolf, but I felt no physical pain. I felt numb because physical pain couldn't be compared to the sharp pain constantly piercing my heart.

"Why aren't you answering? Are you mute?! Did you go mute over night?!" She yelled again, this time, pulling my hair and I yelped in pain.

She pushed me to the floor and kicked me, "You wretched thing! I can't wait for the Eclipse pack to get rid of you! Urghh!" With that, she left.

I don't know how long I laid on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling but the next thing I heard was the sound of the doorbell.

Weakly, I stood up and walked towards the door, without checking the door hole, I opened the door and was immediately attacked with hugs. Madison almost pushed me to the ground.

"Oh my god! Lia!" She cried out, hugging me tightly almost squeezing life out of me.

She let me go to look at my face, "We were so worried! You didn't come to school and you weren't picking your calls. And also with the news--" 

Jonathan nudged her side, signalling for her to stop.

"Are you okay?" Jonathan asked me.

I nodded dully.

"Of course you're not okay. We brought snacks, we are having a movie marathon. Do you want to stay here or should we go to my house? My mom can make us pancakes." Jonathan offered and Madison stared at me wide-eyed, expectantly.

After a moment of silence, I gave my friends a weak, sad smile, "No."

"Huh?"

"No, what?" They questioned simultaneously.

"No, we are not having a movie marathon." 

"Oh, you're not in the mood for movies." Madison stated and faced Jonathan, "Of course she's not feeling like watching chicklits, why did you suggest such a thing?! " After scolding him, she faced me again, "What about bowling?! Let's go bowling, Lia. We're going to beat Jon's ass. I discovered new tricks we could--" 

I held my palm up, cutting her off, "No, Maddie. I don't want to go bowling. I don't want to watch movies. I don't want to do anything. I just want to be left alone. Leave me alone." 

I watched them, expecting them to lash out on me for being an ungrateful bitch when they were trying to make me feel better but their faces contorted into sad ones instead.

"I know you guys are pretending. You hate me and you're tired of always comforting me because my life is pathetic, just like Danielle and Nadine, so you can stop the act. Just go and stop pretending to care."

I spat, voicing out what had been on my mind since I saw the numerous missed calls on my phone this morning. 

Though, I knew Madison and Jonathan weren't acting, I know because I can smell when people were being deceitful. They were genuine but I didn't want that. I didn't want them to be good to me. Their friendship gave me hope. The hope that my life wasn't that shitty after all but I knew that was a fucking lie. My life was the dictionary definition of shitty.

"Just go. And don't come back." I said in finality.

"Lia, come on, you know that's not--" Madison was cut off by Jonathan touching her arm and shaking his head,  silently telling her not to say anything.

Jonathan walked to the kitchen and dropped the bag that contained the snacks on the table, and came back, "We'll go Lia. But know that when you're ready, we're always here for you." 

Those were his final words and he left dragging Madison with him.

My lips quivered and warm tears streamed down my cheeks. 

I thought I had cried all my tears out but I guess I was wrong. 

I even hurt my friends who were just trying to be there for me.

Though Jonathan said they would always be there for me but I didn't want to put them through that, waiting endlessly for someone to come back to you.

I knew how horrible that felt, because I had waited for my grandmother and my aunt since my mom died, to come back to me, to love me like I thought they would, to show me affection and give me warm hugs, and that hope you get when you imagine how it would be when they came back to you was terrorizing. It was an endless torture. A bottomless pit that you continuously sink in.

My friends didn't deserve that.

I wasn't worth it.

I was rejected by my mate. And now I was going to get annihilated for being hybrid. There was no point in living anymore. Either ways, I was going to either die in the hands of Garrett Forrest, the Alpha of Eclipse pack or die of loneliness and sadness.

So taking timid and slow steps, I headed towards the kitchen, straight to the slab where the set of knives were placed.