I've slept and showered the remnants of yesterday away down the drain. My skin is red and sore from how hard I've scrubbed the dirt and sweat off of my body. But somehow I still feel unclean.
After showering, I step out and wrap a towel around my body. The mirror is a perfect representation of how my brain feels right now: fogged. Cloudy. I defog the mirror with my hand, but in my reflection I don't see anything worth praising.
I get dressed in casual attire for the day—flats, a pair of jeans and a sleeveless blouse. I check my phone after applying my makeup and doing my bun. Sarah texted me, telling me to meet her and Lucas in the library.
"Okay
**I remember when I was nine years old I had walked in on my mother drunk, screaming angrily at the air while she laid on her bedroom floor.She still had that ageless beauty, the "Italian Curse" as my father called it, but her eyes were cold and dark. Her eyes were always cold and dark, but that time, that moment, it was a coldness and darkness that didn't belong to her. It frightened me.I'm brought back to that instance when I look at him—when I look at Sebastian. I see my mother all over again, and my hands shake uncontrollably. My heart beats against my chest with a rapid unrelenting rhythm I can feel through my ears.Suck it up, Leslie,my mind chides.Someone needs your help.
*** SEBASTIAN I wake up from a dreamless sleep. I slowly open my eyes and stare at the ceiling with a blurred layer in front of my vision. The shadows on the wall are of small rain splatters from my window. Is it really fucking raining outside? God dammit. I push my body up, but fall back down again. Fuck—I drank way too much last night, and I can feel it pounding in my head and drying my mouth. After trying to get up a few more times, I finally sit up and feel the blood travel down from my head to the rest of my body, making me feel even shittier. I don't remember much about what happened last night. Either that, or I can't figure
I open my eyes to the soft, delicate sounds of rain hitting the bedroom window. Everything is a blur at first, but once my eyes adjust to the light, I realize I'm in Sebastian's room on his couch.I lay still for a minute and listen to the rain. I stir a bit and realize there's a blanket on me—I don't remember grabbing one when I dozed off, nor do I remember taking off my slippers either.Maybe I did those things while I was sleeping.I sit up and stretch my muscles. Sebastian's bed is empty, and for some reason I'm suddenly worried. Of course there could be a logical reason why he isn't in bed anymore, like he actually went downstairs (which I doubt) or he went into the library (which I also doubt), but with the events of early this morning ripe in my mind, it's hard to th
**I am now sitting on my bed in the guest house, staring at my computer screen with a vacancy in my eyes. It is afternoon, and Loretta is back and making a late lunch in the kitchen. She senses the tense air that still lingers around the main house, but she doesn't ask any questions about it. Either that, or she seems to know more than I do.I haven't even started packing for Seattle yet; everything seems to be happening all at once and so quickly I'm not sure where to begin. So, of course, the best option is to sit and make absolutely no progress in my bed.After Fiona was dissed by Sebastian, she stormed off into the dining room without saying a word, and Elizabeth followed. For a moment, I stood there dumbfounded and wondered, again, if I should tell them the reaso
** "My name is Katie," the little girl says, looking up at Sebastian in her seated position on the ground. "Katie? That's a pretty name," Sebastian smiles, slowly sitting down across from her. "I'm Sebastian." "Sebastian," Katie repeats with her lisp, making it almost sound likeThe-bath-an. "Yeah," Sebastian laughs at her pronunciation. I back up against the wall to avoid the possibility of getting caught; that is the last thing I want to happen right now, because the emptiness of the room with these two human beings inside of it is more fulfilling than the crowd of people we were with an hour ago.
**I step aside and invite Sebastian into my hotel room. My fingers tap nervously against the ivory wood of the door, and my eyes flicker back and forth from him to the rest of the room as he pushes himself off from the door frame to let himself inside. The only sound comes from the rain outside. I close the door gently, "If I knew you'd be coming by I would have cleaned up a bit," I admit shyly. "What is there to clean?" he replies, scooting the desk chair in. I chuckle, "Yes, I guess you're right." He makes his way to my bed and sits down comfortably on the edge, the complete opposite of what I'm feeling right now. I try to study his face without being too invasive--he's calm, content, but a little eager.
I, Leslie King, after years of being pure (at least mentally), have finally had my first wet dream. And hearing the words "Leslie King" and "wet dream" together in a sentence makes my skin crawl.Why? Well, let me tell you why.Firstly, amongst having this certain type of dream, I woke up to find my hand down my pants pleasuring my sacred woman box...for the first time ever. I know, it's hard to believe—a twenty-seven-year -old woman of quite open minded standings and I have never quenched my curiosity on what my own fingers feel like down there (let alone what another man's fingers feel like down there). And fortunately...or unfortunately, I have no recollection of what the sensation felt like; I only remember the discovery of my hand where it wasn't supposed to be. However, I'm sure I enjoyed it, because I awoke flush face
Wednesday seemed like it couldn't come soon enough. Perhaps because it's because we're still on our break from engaging with the media like we were sent here to do. Either that, or I've been anxiously awaiting to go to therapy with Sebastian. What kills me is not being able to sit in the room and hear anything he does decide to disclose. Of course, I'm not going to become intrusive and ask him questions about his childhood or anything pertaining to that, as it's obviously a sensitive subject—the "bathroom incident" adds truth to that. But knowing that this is our third week here and we've already come to know each other at this level, from becoming lost in the forest together to handing a group of bikers inside a bar in the middle of nowhere, and finally to Sebastian being so vulnerable in my hold at 1 in the morning when no one else, not even his family, knew the extent of his pain
** This scenario seems too familiar to me. You know—the scenario of me crying on my kitchen floor while trying to calm my nerves with a glass of wine. The familiarity of this is probably what's hardest. It seems like my life is a cycle of reoccurring events. Sebastian's gone, and I'm here surrounded by a broken wine glass. But I'm not the innocent one; I went after him shortly after he left me flustered and deceived against my kitchen sink. There was broken glass involved in that, too. Broken glass, screaming, pushing, hitting. Most of that done by me. I'll take the blame for that. I suppose it's best to explain the events that came after Sebastian left me in my kitchen. I c
**I come into consciousness shortly after I pass out. Claude has me on the sidewalk when I finally open my eyes. I hope that when I open my eyes, the last hour or so would be just a dream. But sadly, that isn't the case. "Leslie," Claude tells me. "I need you to breathe." This time, I take deeper breaths and keep a rhythm. In and out, in and out. My hands are tightly gripping Claude's forearms as I sit on the curb; I might fall over without his support. "I'm sorry. It just...I just—" "Don't apologize." He says to me, his blue eyes wise and trusting. "You need to get out of here; you've had enough for today."
**I wake up the next morning and immediately get to work.I've been receiving calls about Sebastian's party since I opened my eyes—E! News, People, TMZ, POPSUGAR, you name it. Apparently, they all want to know the reason for Sebastian's erratic behavior at his house party and why he was so ballistic in the first place. Darcy and I have been commenting the same thing: "We don't have a comment on that at this time." The ironic this is, I'm the reason he was acting that way in the first place. Though, I'm the last person they'd expect to push Sebastian to that point.I sit at my dining room table, sipping coffee even though I'm not in the mood to consume much of anything, and sift through the rest of my emails on my laptop. I'm trying my best to keep 'him' out of my mind, bec
** "This is Sebastian. You know the fucking drill." I sigh irately—one, for calling Sebastian twenty times already only to be led to voicemail, and two, for the voicemail's existence in the first place. I make a mental note to tell him to change it whenever he feels comfortable with talking to me again. "Hey, Sebastian. It's me again. I know for a fact you're ignoring me." I play with a stray piece on my button up shirt and sigh. "I don't blame you. I don't know how many times I'll have to apologize for you to forgive me, but I think we should talk first before that happens. Call me back." I hang up and vow not to call him back. It's already 9:00PM, and I've been blowing up his phone since he left the conferen
It's my fault for thinking this wouldn't happen. Usually I would admit to my own fault with a hint of uncertainty, using words such as "I guess" or "I suppose." I won't use them this time; this is my fault. Point. Blank. Period. I went this long, letting the lie accumulate into something that it never would have been if I were just honest in the first place. In my defense, I thought Sebastian wouldn't open up to me if he knew I was paid a very large sum to be with him. Is that a valid argument? I hope so; it's the only one I have. That, and the fact that my feelings have changed drastically during this month with his company. Garrett strides into the conference room with an ulterior motive set deep into his dark blue eyes. Everyone is puzzled; I'm not. I know exactly why he's he
**I had never been a victim of "the morning after" until now.You know—leaving the location that you had sex at with a mixture of guilt and pleasure in your system, wearing the same clothes as the night before, holding your head down, that sort of thing.After getting dressed in the clothes I wore the day before, Sebastian walks me out of his house to his driveway. Despite holding my head down, the bright sun still burns my eyes.Even the sun is judging me.I haven't turned on my phone since last night. It's both a blessing and a curse; I hate being so disconnected, yet it is nice to detach once in a while. Plus, Sebastian would roll his eyes if I turned on my phon
This chapter is 18+. Reader's discretion is advised.**Song of the Chapter -I Miss Youby Adele (Playable in the Media Section)**All I'm going to say is, I hope my mother doesn't read this chapter any time soon.**I guess I can start this off by saying that I've seen the tattoo on Sebastian that he was talking about. It isn't as glorious as seeing Sebastian's ass itself, but it's nice to have a little comic relief once in a whi
**I've never been at such odds with my wardrobe.My clothes gaze back at me, taunting me with the fact that no matter what outfit I pick, one will always be better than the other, and because of this, I will be prompted to start all over again and choose a new selection.It's currently a warm Monday afternoon, and I have two hours to get ready and make it over to Sebastian's house for dinner. Beverly Hills isn't too far of a drive from where I live, but I'm certain that indecisiveness will be the reason for my tardiness, not traffic.Pedro trots into my room with his chew toy between his teeth, only to jump on my bed to devour it."Pedro!" I yell at him. "Down!"
** SEBASTIAN "Bro, look over there." Trevor slaps my shoulder, bringing my attention—and the attention of Franklin and Chris—to a table behind us at the restaurant we're at—The Cabana on Melrose. The four women sitting there gives us smiles that say, "If you let me, I'll gladly blow you in the back." Don't get me wrong—they're hot. All four of them. But my mind is a little preoccupied on other things. "You eyeing the redhead?" Franklin asks me. I didn't even realize the girl was a redhead; that's how much I don't care. "Um...nah, not really. Not my type." My friends stare at me like I have five heads. Trevor downs his drink and narrows his eyes. "Hold up, hold up. Four hot chicks are staring our way—four that youknowyou can score all at once, and you're looking like your dog just died. What's up, man?" "Nothing's up." Lies. "I've just got a lot