CHAPTER 5

Maxine's breath hitched at her image in the mirror; she looked familiar yet a stranger. She was naked, just in her jeans and bra: the curves very apparent, they made her heart race with dread and a hint of shame that she had never felt comfortable now, especially under the circumstances. She knew who stood just on the other side of that door, and her toes curled in her flip-flops as her blood ran warm with a cocktail of embarrassment and something she couldn't quite put a name to.

Alph.

Just his name gave her a little shiver. She knew him. Well, everybody knew him—from Hampton University, at least. He was exquisitely handsome, buff, and dark like onyx, with a raw magnetism that made it impossible to look away. And now, seeing him up close and with his shirt off, even more so, made her heart pound erratically. His body was a work of art; every muscle was perfectly chiseled as if sculpted by a master. His abs were clearly defined and led down to a V-shape at his hips that most women would kill to have. It was that kind of body you only saw on magazine covers, the traditional ideal that haunted her insecurities. "Hell," Alph's voice echoed from the other room, and her train of thought crashed to a stuttering, bleating halt as the sound ripped her from her reverie. Sharp, frustrated, angry, it brought her head whipping back to reality. And her cheeks flamed with hot embarrassment as she realized she'd been standing here just gawking at him like a fool. She had to get out of here. End.

Maxine bolted from the bathroom, running faster than she thought possible. She grabbed the nearest article of clothing she could find and quickly slipped it on, her mind a blur of anxiety. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you'd be in here," she said, way too high-pitched and in a panic.

She didn't wait for his answer. She couldn't. Her heart was in her ears as she fled the room, the cold floor meeting her bare feet heavily as she ran down the hall. Her pulse was racing, and she was certain that if she stopped to catch her breath, she would crumble into a mess of nerves.

She called her out, her voice with a tremor of confusion and desperation, as she descended down the flight of stairs. She needed her mother right now, needed to know why she'd been kept in the dark about something as important as this.

She found her mother in the living room, seated on the sofa, an old photo album in her hands, her face marked with a sad, wistful smile. In her hands lay pictures from another life, one that Maxine had never been a part of, filled with faces she barely recognized.

"Mom!" her voice cracked as she skidded to a halt, her breath coming in short, uneven bursts. "Mom, why didn't you tell me?"

Her mother glanced up, just a bit taken aback by how urgently Maxine was speaking. "Maxine, what is it? What's the matter? I thought you were going to go take a shower."

"I was, but—" Maxine was hit dumb for a moment, trying to keep her voice on an even keel; she wasn't sure that she might not be able to easily put the whirl of her mind into words. "You didn't tell me your new husband had a son! Alph! You didn't tell me Alph is his son!"

Her mother softened at her words. A play of her smile returned as she turned her back, regarding the photo album. "Oh, I suppose I forgot to mention it. But look," she said, holding up a picture of a small boy with dark hair all over his head, messy, and a wide grin. "This is Alph when he was little. Isn't he adorable?

Maxine's stomach twisted into a knot as she stared at the snapshot. She knew him, certainly. Everybody in Hampton knew him, but that wasn't the point at issue here.

"He isn't just anybody is he, Mom?" Maxine mumbled; her voice lowered to a whisper, "He is that all-famous varsity leader everybody is talking about, isn't he?"

Her mother laughed, obviously not taking what had happened seriously at all. The woman said, "Yes, and he's also a good boy, Maxine. You will see."

Maxine bit her lip, memories flashing through her mind. She remembered the first time she had really noticed Alph, the first time she had been close enough to smell his cologne.

It wasn't on the lips, but close enough. Her heart had pounded just as it was now, and she had left that party with her mind reeling. It was a moment she had buried deep, not wanting to think about how her first real kiss—if it could be called that—had been because of a stupid dare orchestrated by someone who delighted in her misery.

Her mother's voice cut through the fog of jumbled thoughts. "Maxine, darling, look at you. You're all flushed. Do you feel well?"

Maxine just shook her head, trying to shake the mist of memories crowding in on her mind. "I'm fine, just… I wasn't prepared for this."

Her mom reached out, patting the seat beside her on the sofa. "Come here, let's talk."

Maxine hesitated to do so but then crossed the room and sat down, the cushions seeming to give in with the weight. She felt like a child again, sitting next to her mother, seeking comfort in the world that seemed to be too big and too overwhelming.

"I know this is all new to you." her mother began gently, ". moving in with Ador, meeting Alph—it's a lot, but I want you to relax and know that you're safe here. I know you've been through so much, and this is a fresh start for us. There is Alph who appears intimidating, but he's really very nice."

Kind? Maxine thought so; she herself was far from it—an argument ensued previously that sent his harsh words and that look, as if she was an intrusion, still echoing in her head.

"Mom, I just… I don't fit in here," Maxine whispered, her voice trembling. "Alph… he's perfect. And I'm… I'm just me."

Her mother scowled, her eyes narrowing just a little bit. "Maxine, you're perfect just the way you are. Don't let anyone make you feel less than that."

Maxine desperately wanted to believe her. All she could think of was how her curves probably didn't even match the world of sleek, slim bodies that Alph was used to. He was a god amongst mortals, and she had to feel like a mere shadow next to him.

"You just don't understand," Maxine mumbled and shook her head. "He's used to girls like Coreen. I mean perfect, beautiful, and thin."

Maxine's mother sighed, her hand resting on Maxine's shoulder. "Maxine, you are beautiful too. Smart, strong, and equally important, do not compare yourself with others.".

Maxine nodded, though her heart wasn't quite in it. The sentiment of her mother's words seemed okay, but she herself felt in reality that she was a stranger in the new life. Insecurity weighed her down heavily, though what was being said was not really able to lift the burden from her heart.

"I'll try, Mom," Maxine murmured, forcing a smile. "I'll try to fit in.

Her mother smiled back and pulled her into a hug. "That's all I ask for, Maxine. Just give it time.

Maxine closed her eyes further, attempting to rid her body of the image of Alph's perfect form and the surge of feelings it inspired, along with those that seemed to linger on, even within the comforting arms of her mother. But even then, doubts and insecurities had kept on plaguing Maxine, constantly reminding her of how much she was yet to do before she could truly feel at home in this new life.