"Hi, ma'am. Are you here too?"I stood up, trying to be friendly to the woman who had seemed nice since I first met her at my engagement ceremony with Maureen. She walked over to where I was with Darren, followed by two women who I guessed were assistants or maybe baby-sitters from the bags they were carrying.They looked expensive. I wonder if Maureen will be like that? Maybe if she takes care of the baby herself, Maureen will need other people to reduce her burden....Wake up, Angga! Children are not a burden, and Maureen may not want to take care of the baby if she ends up leaving the twins to social services.Looking again at Darren's ex-wife who was still rocking the baby in her arms, I couldn't help but think, how could the man I was dealing with be capable of wasting a woman like the one who ended up occupying the empty sofa near us?Imagine! Four children were born to her, if I'm not mistaken. Guess what, what woman today would want to sacrifice time taking care of children an
"It hurts!" I winced, screaming from the pain at the corner of my lips that was the target of Maureen's compress.Coming home with a few bruises shouldn't have been a problem. I could have taken care of it myself if Maureen had come home later.Turns out she was waiting for me to come home in the front room with a full set of first aid kits. Her lips pouted forward, eager to be kissed if only her pull didn't force me to sit down."I'm still good at medicine. I just raised my body. You still say you're sick." It's rare to hear her ramble on like this. Could Maureen be worried?It's usually not that easy for her to drop her feelings for me.I paid attention to every detail of her movements even though the annoyance on Maureen's face was obvious. "You don't want to ask?""Is there anything to ask?" The firmness in her previous intonation when scolding me was replaced by a tremor, like every time she wanted to cry.I laughed sadly, casting my gaze to the side, avoiding her. "I almost forgo
"You didn't tell me there was a morning class." How could I not protest if I was woken up suddenly after... two hours of sleep?The back of my head felt heavy and painful.I checked the clock on my phone screen once more and saw the bright sun through the window Maureen had just opened."I'm too tired, Angga," Maureen excuses. It was obvious that she was already wearing a towel and smelled fresh as she passed by. "You also charge a lot in the wee hours of the morning."She continued to grumble as she gathered her clothes and even threw the towel at me after yelling at my cock for waking up first, only for the tension to become apparent when the blanket was forcefully pulled away by Maureen.I chuckled, laughing loudly as I quipped, "Who wants to be on top last night?"I could still feel the thrill of the last release. Indeed, spurting inside was much more enjoyable, especially when done together.It would have been the twins' sister, if we'd had passion when Maureen wasn't pregnant and
"Where are you now, Maureen?" The first greeting-less question I received from my classmate when the call was connected.I had only even activated my phone after walking about three houses to reach the parking lot and being bombarded with the demands of the assignments I had to carry."I'm... still at the intersection near my house," and was checking the contents of my bag when I reached the driver's seat. "Wait a second. I seem to have forgotten the journal from yesterday."Ish, resentful! Because I was taking care of Angga all night, I missed out on a lot of things. Just the two of us, my studies are already overloaded, what if I have to take care of the kids?"I'll call you later," I broke off before getting out of this SUV-type car, similar to the big car Uncle Darren had in Indonesia. The cabin is spacious, and can be used to carry a lot of stuff too if I need to travel all day.Even though my handbag is also classified as carrying a lot of things, should I walk again?So lazy, G
My nose feels runny. My eyes are heavy, glaring when I open them. I forced my lips to call out, "Angga...," hoping he was with me this time.My chest was rumbling, the fear of being left behind was painful. The water seeping through my eyelids allowed my eyes to open slowly, facing the painful light.I called his name once more. Enduring the pain that returned to the top of my head until my hands rubbed my face, then the figure came into view."Yes, Fatty." Angga was near me. His heavy voice left me panicked, but it was able to relieve me. The touch of his hand that I had memorized so well landed on my cheek and shoulder.However, a flash of memory of the last time before darkness greeted me weighed more on my head. My stomach became queasy, wanting to vomit out the pressure from inside."Need something?" Angga's question along with his caress on my stomach made me realize something."What about the twins?" I managed to get distracted from wanting to vomit into panic. My hands gripped
"Are you trying to propose again?" I laughed at the idea even though the tears wouldn't stop. I don't know why, and I even wondered if his offer was just to silence me so I'd stop questioning his sincerity with me.How could I not?Angga had once made a promise with Isma like a marriage, but their separation seemed to state that even marriage was not a guarantee that things united by God could not be dissolved."Just try." Angga moved to sit on the edge of the bed I was on. He placed my palms on his rough cheeks. "I never thought of being in a relationship for fun."His unblinking gaze at me further hurt the stab that had been ripping at my solar plexus. Nausea. Disgusted.I want to reach for the box of tissues on the nightstand, but Angga gets to it first and hands the thin sheets to me. As I wiped the liquid from my cheeks to my chin, I reminded him with one question, "What about all the women you brought to bed? Did you offer them this kind of seriousness?""I don't even know their
"Moms!" It was hard to keep my voice from screaming. In fact, I was provoked and brushed off Mama's touch on my stomach.Letting Mama take care of my sins?I've come this far so they don't have to bother with my life. Even if Grandpa knew too, Grandpa wouldn't take care of it as long as the scandals that happened didn't become news."How much more do you want to wait?"Mama, I see. All kinds of things to think about. Can't you just do it first? "Let Maureen think about this until they're born""So what?"There's still an offer from social services. The twins can get good parents and expect them. Being under the big family name was not at all comfortable and could not be free without interruption for them later."Maureen can't decide now." I shook my head again. My hands were already massaging my temples and a stabbing pain ran through my waist again.Where is Angga? I don't see him here right now.Before Mama could speak again, I tried to defend myself. "Isn't this better than Maureen
Fighting with Maureen is... annoying.How could the one downstairs wake up just because of an argument? I even needed to run to find an empty toilet or a minimal queue to put his back to sleep.If the doctor hadn't told Maureen to go on bed rest, to wait for the bleeding to stop and for her to be completely ready, I could have teased Maureen right away. In the end I had to settle for letting out a burst of passion alone while imagining every enlarged part of Maureen's body.Doesn't she realize it? With her breasts getting bigger and denser, and her backside keeping pace, Maureen had become a goddess for my fantasies that were always hungry to devour her."Asshole!" Why did Isma have to meet Maureen with a whip? If something like this happens, I'll be the one in trouble.I had yet to pull up my pants after spilling the results of my solo play onto a tissue. I just sat back and replayed the events in my head."What the ...." I was surprised to see a long-forgotten object held up in fron
An impromptu visit that I didn't expect, it turns out Angga told me our wedding date so Matthew and Ben came, of course with their spouses. Maybe they're on vacation?Then the arrival of Darren who followed alone with a line of food service workers was enough to confirm that they intended to hold a small party without the host's permission.I only saw him after changing into a looser floral overalls that allowed me to breathe. The dress was too tight although it still didn't cover my pregnancy at all."You weren't invited, but you came." The satire I said wasn't funny at all, but they still laughed when I returned to the center of the conversation with a bottle of champagne ready to open."Ow! How cruel, Sister." Matthew snatched the fun out of my hands and quipped back, "Alcohol is not for pregnant women.""Damn it!" I cursed in annoyance, only to be met with an instantly infectious laugh.Angga had just followed me to where I was standing. He handed me a glass of avocado juice and a
"Maureen!" I faintly heard Angga calling my name, then it was replaced by the echo of air bubbles in my ears.I thought I could die here or wake up somewhere else. In fact, when I gave up, a stream of water replaced the blast of air on my face.I was still very much conscious, just afraid to open my eyes and face reality. The chill of the early spring air washed over my already wet skin along with the pressure behind my shoulders and behind my knees. It was warm on the right side, but instinct demanded that I find a grip.Angga, who I first saw, was also wet. His slender neck becomes the target of my trembling grip. This time, I'm afraid of being dropped.From this vantage point, his parted lips along with the angular movement of his firm jaw create a charisma of their own. Could Angga possibly hide the cruelest side of a warrior like him?Fool. I should have remembered that everyone has a dark side, a poison from their own life experiences. They only need to choose; oppress or be opp
Maureen demanded an explanation, before we had even had a chance to change?She and I had just arrived in our room, barely stripped to the surface of the fabric that covered the entire bed. Dusty, full of sawdust and mustiness. We should have taken down all the protective covering before attempting to use the room.Yes, almost.Just being alone with her could heat up the temperature around us. It felt like breaking free from all the coverings and letting instinct take over.Then, Maureen's question threw everything off. "So..., did you make a deal with Grandpa?"I was still in front of her, on top of her body while supporting myself using the elbows perched on either side of Maureen, avoiding the pressure on her stomach. Our lower waists were already attached as our legs slipped over each other.Argh! She messed up the appetizer.The look of rejection forced me to roll over to Maureen's left side, following her to gaze at the room's ceiling covered with sheets of bright albasia wood. T
Deciding to get married was not on my life list at all, especially under the age of thirty. What's happening now?Just a few months ago I turned twenty-five and within minutes had signed the marriage certificate. Everything I've been through has been beyond expectations, pregnant and married?Still in my simple wedding dress-just a white lace-covered overalls that didn't hide the size of my belly at all, I noticed Angga's figure when dressed officially like now. A clean-cut face and freshly cut hair refresh Angga's look with a black suit overlaying the white suit inside.Even though it was only a few days ago that I saw his face full of bruises, the main reason I made the choice and said yes, so that he wouldn't have to do such menial work anymore.What was I thinking at the time?"Not like this again!" I shifted the conversation from Angga's request to the cause of the bruises on his face, again he said about marriage.Des he really want to tie me up in a commitment? So what, I can't
I was almost desperate as I repeatedly checked my phone screen, waiting to hear from Maureen's friends about her whereabouts in the last two days. Maureen was unreachable, her phone dead.I don't know how many cans of beer I've consumed since returning home from last night's brutal game. I could have killed someone out of disappointment with myself. I felt like a failure.The phone screen lit up, but it wasn't someone I wanted to call. Maureen's sugardaddy was listed there. I deliberately gave him a name like that, so he'd think twice when he needed help. I still couldn't make peace with the past between them.Just glancing at the message display outside, without opening the messaging app, it was clear that each word indicated the address. No pleasantries or greetings.That's funny. He asked me to come there?A few minutes after putting the empty cans into the trash bag, an incoming call echoing the voice of a prominent rapper distracted me. Darren seemed genuinely intent on asking me
"Aren't you in college or doing something?" Uncle Darren was already babbling this early. Even the sky outside the window when he drew the curtains wasn't fully lit yet even though the alarm clock on the nightstand read seven o'clock. "Really, Rin, I'm confused to see you just lying in your room these days."A few days? I've only had a mattress this soft for two days. The sheets were soft and didn't rub against my skin. This time I can somewhat agree with Angga's previous insinuation about our ... well, lifestyle.The only choice is for me to give in and try to lower my standards, or for him to raise his income. Fix, yeah, I don't want to get married yet.In the last month of living together, I can't keep giving in to the future that Angga offers even though everything can be distracted with sex or Netflix and ignore everything.But, how to talk about it? Our fights would only continue to end with unification. I hated that."Why did you wake me up, Uncle?" I squirmed and kicked off th
"Uncle ...." I moan, feeling the ludicrous touch that traverses the skin. It descends from the arrangement of bones that make up my shoulders, collarbone, and then cupping the wedge of the neck divider of the body-wrapping overalls.From where he stood, Uncle Darren must have clearly seen the puffs that were getting denser as a result of his actions. I reflexively tilted my head to the right side, letting his warm breath caress the recesses of my neck without being covered by hair."You're always delicious, Rin." Uncle Darren's whisper sounds lulling behind my earlobe. The mint-scented exhale and woody-herb traces were replaced by the wetness of a taste bud that was beginning to venture out.Some seconds were fun to savor, but the next, what I was doing was more like an escape to get recognized. It felt like being a traitor.The corners of my lips twitched, realizing Uncle Darren wasn't doing anything more than that. Even though I liked the way he treated me, I still couldn't deny tha
"Move on, Is." Angga was seen patting the woman's cheek. What is her name? Isma? I could hear Angga talking casually through the barrier like that. "Anyway, stop following me."I was close enough to hear their conversation. It was just a stack of boxes at the turn of the foyer facing the exit of the supermarket.At first I thought Angga was still asleep because all my voice messages and calls had gone unanswered. Well, I should have sent a short message about going shopping before going home and asked Angga to ignore my request.Turns out he was in this place and met a 'flower snake' like that Isma. She really used to be a campus slut, right?Angga just told me about his habit of fighting in the arena just to buy time with Isma in the past. No wonder Angga didn't complain about getting a woman like her to support him.Well, I guess any man in Indonesia would always think of ways to get a virgin, but he chose the hardest way by capitalizing on feelings. Including me.Are there still peo
"Raka!" Isma waved from where she was pushing the shopping trolley towards me.Even though this monthly shopping business is usually the part of Maureen who understands best, but this morning when I woke up, there was already a note stuck to the refrigerator door. Correction, noon. I even got home early in the morning after last night's battle."Please, you do the shopping," accompanied by a heartfelt emot, a very long shopping list with special notes, and her black card. Including an incoming message on my phone explaining why Maureen was in such a hurry. Company research."Shopping too?" asked Isma after aligning the trolley she was pushing with mine. She even took the note I was holding and nodded, as if she understood.Why did we have to meet here, anyway? I'm even more uncomfortable with Isma around."Feeling better?" She still asked after returning the shopping list along with a few things taken from the shelves in the left row to my cart."When was the fight?" I arranged each i