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2024-10-29 19:42:56*Flashback*
"That's not fair. Do you even care at all about what I want? No, you don't! It's always been about you! What you want and what works for you! Everyone else can just suck it right?"
Kayla had argued back to her husband that evening. She hadn't been one to raise her voice - for anything really, but she'd been beyond livid.
"Kayla, we've talked about this many times. Shouting will not get you anywhere."
Aaron said softly, clearly in an attempt to calm her down but he'd ensued the opposite. Because yet again, he was shutting her off. Dismissing her.
So,
"See that right there is my problem. You've already decided for the both of us. You never cared to ask me what I thought about that."
She'd kept quiet, too many times. But one can only take so many punches.
Kayla understood that her husband was a bit of a senior in comparison to her. She'd understood that he'd already experienced the thing she'd only been experiencing then - marriage.
But while she understood that he'd been through enough of that, she wished he would understand that it was only her first time. She'd never been married before.
She wanted to experience all of it, but most importantly. She wanted,
"Just one Aaron, just one baby is all I'm asking for."
Tears had started pouring out of her eyes at that point.
Her whole life Kayla dreamt of having kids. That conversation was admittedly one they'd missed in the beginning stages of their relationship. They'd been too caught up with the fireworks and the magic that was their bond.
But in her defense, he'd always been so good with kids that she'd never thought he didn't want anymore.
He was always playing with random babies wherever they'd go she just knew he would be a great father to one more bundle of joy.
But when he'd said,
"No."
She'd felt her heart drop to the ground. Not at just his answer but also how he was just so dismissive about it.
She'd been in the kitchen cooking and he was by the lounge working on his laptop. He didn't even care to look up as he was taking from her something she'd wanted all her life.
He didn't care that she wanted kids, not enough to look up from his computer and at least show a little remorse. He'd just continued like nothing happened.
But just as she'd always done, she'd kept quiet that day. And the other days that followed when the topic would be brought up.
Mostly because he'd always seemed so irritated whenever he'd respond to it and she never wanted to upset him.
But as she started growing older, the realization hit her like a brick. That if he didn't want kids then she won't ever have kids.
Why won't he understand?
It wasn't like they were just dating around, they were married. And that's supposed to be the end-game right? Through thick and thin they say.
"I've got three kids Kayla!"
"Yeah and I don't have any. You're basically telling me that I will never be a mother."
She'd whispered as tears kept on spilling out of her browns.
She loved him so much she was never going to leave him, not for any reason. But it hurt.
"I feel like you've taken advantage of me. Of my youth."
She'd then heard herself say softly.
She'd never thought she'd ever say that out loud but it was true.
"You've taken any and all possible life experiences from me, and now you're gonna take motherhood away too?"
Admittedly, her statement was a bit flawed.
Yes, she'd never had other experiences outside of him but that was because she never wanted to.
She'd never craved any man like she craved her husband, and she never felt that she missed out on anything because she was happy with him.
Aaron found himself looking up from his phone with so much pain in his eyes and said,
"Baby, that's not true."
He'd wondered if that was what she'd been feeling all that time. He certainly didn't want that for her. He loved her. More than words could ever describe.
"You know I love you."
He'd then said, standing up from the kitchen stool he'd been sitting on to make his way over to her.
"I would never want to take away your youth. That's a beautiful thing that I want you to have."
He'd whispered to her as he cupped her face with his two hands.
There'd been plenty of times he'd insisted she go out and have as much fun as she wanted. He'd encouraged her to meet people, party, and just enjoy her youth.
He'd understood that she was a lot younger than him and there were things that she still needed to experience. Things that he'd already experienced.
But she didn't want to.
All she wanted was to be at home with him. He'd be lying if he said he didn't love hearing that.
It meant a lot to him that there were countless things she could be doing but all she wanted was to be with him.
It was one of the things he loved about her.
But now,
"Is that how you've been feeling?"
He'd kept on holding on to her cheeks, stealing kisses every now and again.
Her face softened and then,
"No, I just... I've always wanted to be a mother Aaron. I've said this to you before."
She had, a couple of times. Even before they'd wedded. That was something she wanted with so much passion.
He never said anything then. Only after they'd been married he'd simply said 'no'. As if he was asked if he wanted a glass of water.
"I don't think you took away my youth, not at all. You know how much I love you. I just wish you would just give me this one thing. I don't ask you for a lot Aaron."
That was true and he knew it.
Kayla was definitely the only wife he'd had that didn't care much for his wealth and the things he could do for her.
And of course he'd always wanted to spoil her, and he did - as much as he could. But he knew she would've been okay even if he didn't.
She loved him for him, not for the things that he had.
But as much as he knew this, he just couldn't accept it because,
"You know all that I've been through babe. You know the pain I've had to endure through the years from all my exes. I want to give you the world and anything beyond that, but a baby is the one thing I can't give you my love."
He'd finished.
It wasn't at all that Kayla didn't understand what he'd been through, she did. More than he knew. She'd hated all the women that hurt her husband the way that they did.
What she didn't understand was what giving her a baby had anything to do with that. Did he not trust her? Did he think she would use the baby to tame him or something?
Whatever reason it was, it hurt to think.
So she didn't anymore.
She instead looked at the man who owned her heart, ignoring the pain that overfilled her, and said,
"Ok."
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