CHAPTER SIX

The clock on the distant wall struck 8:15pm, and I turned in my bed, restless. I found it harder to sleep than usual, and as I forced my eyes to close their curtains, they only increased my insomnia.

My mind held contradicting thoughts, and thoughts that held mallets of headaches, each striking harder at every mental consideration. 

I knew I couldn't kill the Omega.

Yet I couldn't risk the efficacy of my throne and leadership. 

And for some agonizing twist of fate, this Omega was also my mate.

But this was still so uncertain.

The Moon goddess might have made a mistake, or perhaps it was lust that was speaking, but there was no way to tell. The goddess never told a lie, and during my brief spell of being caught in the Omega's spell, I felt nothing more than potent admiration for her.

There was no sexual longing, no erotic desire, no insatiable urge to mate with her. I wasn't hungry, I was satisfied.

“Aargh…” I groaned and shot out of bed. “Why?!”

In all my years of being the Alpha, never have I been so indecisive. Or clueless.

I paced the room, trying to tamp down on the anger that warmed my skin. My hands were fisted, and I desired to punch and break down all the walls of vagueness that blocked my view, and my ability to sleep. If I hadn't gone down to the dungeons, I would have been at peace in oblivion.

I stared at my bed distantly. How I wished I could sleep, close my eyes and forget about the decision that weighed heavily on my shoulders. But I knew I couldn't. Till I faced my reality, I would never be allowed the comfort of sleep again. Why did this have to happen to me? Of all persons to be mated to, the Moon Goddess had picked someone who was destined for death.

I took a step closer to the open window of my room, then two more, before I paused, slowly taking a third. The moon was in full view now, and I could feel it's energy coursing through my veins, pumping adrenaline; urging me, tugging at my heart, and prodding me, to change my form. 

I thought to let go of this human facade, even for a long hour, and escape into the forest, running, maybe not away, but around my packs sanctuary, just to let off steam.

But it would only worsen my image.

What would the Elders think, seeing their Alpha, taking laps in the forest for no reason? There was no imminent war, or threat, or danger of any sort that required my training. They would see through my act, and notice my weakness, and surely plot to take advantage of it.

“Why did I have to be Alpha now?” I groaned, moving my eyes from the moon to the forest that lay out and wide behind my chambers. Why do I have to be the one with such an incredulous choice to make?

I moved slowly forward even further now, closer to the window, and closer to the source of my second persona. The altalune’s light felt stronger tonight, and I could hear a voice in the wind, low and soft, heavy yet unburdensome. I heard it flow, dance, twist, turn, then break the barriers of my ears.

It felt like...it felt like it was speaking to me.

Was I...was I hearing things? Was I losing my mind?

“You're not losing your mind!" The voice whispered.

My breath caught. "Who—?"

"Don't let her die…” I heard faintly. “Her blood would be on your hands, and your hands will also bleed. She is speciaI, for I made her from my own loins. And I made her for you…”

I jumped back, and with a force that surprised me, my heart began racing again as it did before, and my confusion tripled. I could tell it was the Moon Goddess, but her voice was fiercer, and her words pierced my brain to the point of bleeding.

“You were made Alpha this day and age for a reason…” the voice continued. “Do not regret your responsibility, or you will regret being born. Protect her, guide her, and in time she will guide you. The mark she possesses is one I have given her, and it cannot be erased…”

I could feel the words echo in the walls of my subconscious, I could feel it screech like tyres on tar, and scratch the walls of my sanity. I could hear it trample down my defenses, and besiege the castle of my pride.

It made me lose balance and I fell to the floor, my lungs releasing more air than it caught, and I groaned as more words rang, because now they were accompanied with clanging bells.

“You are Alpha!” the voice boomed. “You will not be weak! You will not run away! You will not be broken, and you will not be conflicted! The answer has been made clear!” 

The words now hit like loud cymbals, playing in a cacophony rather than a harmony, sounding over in my head like a man with blown cheeks set behind a woodwind instrument. The words hit, and hit again in quick succession, and I felt like a socked boxer in a ring with no ropes and no rules.

“Rise Alpha!” the voice chanted. “And rest your head. There is nothing more to consider or ponder. You have been told what to do, your burden has been relieved by your goddess. So relieve yourself as well…”

The voice had suddenly become calmer. It was now soothing, and peaceful; less voracious.

“Tomorrow will be the day you come under hatred, but I will ensure you are not swallowed by it. If you do what your mind has told you, I will be by your side, if you do what the people tell you, you will find yourself alone. This will not be your end, if you are wise, so do not be afraid”

Then, the voice disappeared.

And so did my consciousness.