Chapter 2

“Tamara needs to see you.” Alice, Tamara’s secretary says quietly as she stands by my desk.

I look up to see her brows pulled together and a pained look filling her sweet face. Tamara was the head of accounting in the large business firm I work at. I sit up straight to see her glaring at me through the large glass wall that encases her office. Her dark ebony hair frames her perfectly painted face with beautiful waves that look effortless. I swallow the lump in my throat and stand up, straightening my skirt and blouse as I make my way to her office. I can feel everyone’s eyes watching me as I walk by them, they are all eager to see the Tamara bitch show, and I just so happened to be her favourite contestant.

“Ayla, take a seat.” Her voice always sounds so condescending, and the way she says my name, it is always filled with disgust, as if my name is a sour taste on her tongue.

I hear the door close behind me as I take a seat on the chair placed in front of her desk, I glance over my shoulder and see Alice talking to Steve who gives me a clenched half smile before turning back to Alice. Tamara walks past me, her long legs look sculpted in the black heels she wears and I feel myself shrinking in on myself, I always feel so self-conscious when I am near Tamara, she radiates power and confidence, and I feel so feeble in comparison when I’m near her. She opens a filing cabinet behind me and begins to flip through the folders inside. I hear the drawer sliding shut and Tamara making her way past me once again. She drops the file onto her desk and sits down. I glance down at the file and see my name written on the small tab at the top and begin to run through what I could have possibly done to get called into her office and made to feel like a naughty school kid visiting the head mistress’s office.

“I am afraid I have some bad news.”

I could feel my heart thrumming against my chest. My stomach felt heavy as a tight knot began to knit together inside of me. I knew something bad was going to happen the moment Alice told me Tamara needed to see me, she never needed me and the sinister smile that was plastered across her face as she sat opposite me, staring deeply into my soul sent shivers down my spine, she looked like the wolf about to blow down my straw house, her usually dead looking eyes gleamed with delight, and her cheeks seemed flushed with pleasure. She was enjoying every second of this moment and my discomfort seemed to bring her joy.

“Ayla, I’m sorry we are going to have to let you go.”

I can see the sly smirk that flickers across her full taupe-coloured lips. It was only for a moment, but it was there and it felt like a slap across my face. All day I could sense something was up, Tamara had been glaring at me more than usual today. I always tended to avoid her, she made it blatantly obvious she didn’t like me, and she was never afraid to hide the fact. I didn’t know why Tamara disliked me, I was nothing but nice to her, and now she was taking pleasure in dragging out firing me.

“Why?” I ask.

My voice is quiet and I see Tamara lean forward to hear me better. She brushes her ebony locks behind her ear, but that wicked smile grows wider.

“Excuse me?” She asks, her voice dripping with ridicule.

“Why?” I ask again, this time louder so I don’t have to feel humiliated by repeating myself once again.

I started here three years ago as an intern straight out of university. I had just got my CIMA in business accounting, and the kind man that Tamara replaced just a few months after I had started, decided to take a chance on me. After 6 months of just being an intern, the partners of the company gave me a permanent job, which Tamara despised, but I worked hard and made sure I gave everything I did my all. I loved it here, everyone I worked with excluding Tamara was like a second family to me, and it was because of this job that I met Marcus, my boyfriend who I have just recently moved in with. This job was the first real thing I accomplished myself after leaving home, and now it was all been snatched away from me.

“Because we are having to cut back and there is just not enough money in the budget to keep you. You were the last one in so you're the first one out.” She smiles.

“That’s ridiculous, Tamara! I have been here longer than you and Derek.”

I slam my hand down on the desk and stand up furious. I can feel the heat of my anger climbing up my body, consuming me. Tamara raises her brow at me and smiles that wicked smile once again, the smile that says she is happy to be firing me and glad to see the back of me.

“Goodbye Ayla.”

She nods her head indicating to someone behind me. I turn and see the security guard who’s been called to escort me out of the building. I turn back around to look at the woman who loves to make my life hell, there is a pounding in my ears and I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my body, I open my mouth to say something, anything, just to make me feel better, but I can see the sly half smile that says bring it gracing Tamara’s beautiful face, and her eyes have a fire flickering in them, daring me to fight back, but I refuse to let her get the best of me one last time. I still have my dignity. I snap my mouth closed and turn on my heel, storming past the security guard, and quickly grabbing my bag from my desk. As I pull my coat off the back of my chair, I yank too hard making the chair tumble back and I internally curse my clumsiness, so much for making a quiet exit. I reach out to catch the chair to stop it from making a racket but screw them, I didn’t see one of them stand up to see if I was ok, and not one of them looks at me with solidarity, only pity. I let the chair crash to the floor and quickly walk down the aisles of the desk, holding my head high, the guard firmly on my tail making sure I leave the building.

I push the doors open and swiftly walk across the road to the car park. I route through my bag, quickly find my keys and climb into my car. As I look up at the building I see Tamara looking down at me so I start the car up and drive to the next car park, parking up, so I can allow the tears I was holding in to run freely. All different scenarios begin to play in my head, making my tears fall harder. Thankfully I have some money saved so I don’t have to worry about my half of the rent or bills for the next couple of months whilst I find a new job.

I had only just moved in with Marcus, a few weeks ago. I had been sharing a flat with a uni friend but she was struggling to find a job so she made the decision to move back home where she could work wherever she pleased and I just couldn’t afford the rent on my own. I had considered putting up an ad for a new roommate but I had heard too many horror stories so quickly resigned myself to looking for a smaller, more affordable place. Marcus came with me to look at a few flats, but none of them were suitable, and that's when he rode in like a knight in shining armour and offered to let me stay with him whilst I took my time to find something more in my price range and not full of rats or mould. His flat was large and upscale so I didn’t feel like I got in his way too much and it was nice getting to spend more quality time with him. Marcus was in marketing, he worked with all the big companies and got paid handsomely for it. He was unlike anyone else I had ever dated before, at first he came across as brash and obnoxious but he had to be in his line of work, the few friends I had here all distanced themselves from me when I started dating him but they didn’t see what I saw, nobody saw the softer side of him, that was reserved for me only, with me he was sweet and thoughtful, his tough attitude was left behind and he would treat me like a queen. I was happy in our little bubble, and I could tell he was as well.

I start the car back up just as the heavens decide to open up, falling on the roof of my car and bouncing back off. I pull up outside the block of flats, grab my things off the passenger seat and quickly run inside to avoid the rain. Once inside I wipe the rain away from my eyes and start the climb up to the fourth floor. We do have a lift in the building but I hate being closed in, especially in a metal box that could plummet to the earth at any given moment, plus the stairs are a good workout for me. My steps echo in the empty stairwell, as I make my way up, I can’t help thinking of what happened with Tamara only 30 minutes ago. I glanced at my watch, Marcus would still be at work so I decided on having a long hot bubble bath with a bottle of wine, drowning my sorrows until he came back. Tomorrow I will plan my next step. Today I was going to wallow. I came to the city to make it big. I was going to get a good job, buy a big house, and have lots of friends, but my life was the opposite. I had lost the job I loved, couldn’t even find a flat, never mind a house and all those friends I thought I would have were just a dream. I mean of course I have friends, but they all lived back home, and they barely visited me but I was fine with that. I knew being an adult meant change, but I still spoke to them on the phone and texted now and then. I did miss them terribly, especially my best friend Nicola and in moments like this I wished with everything I had she was close by, she always seemed to make the best of a bad situation.

I push the front door open and freeze as I see a flash of colour run past me.

“Marcus?” I ask, confused.

“Just a second!” He shouts back.

He sounded flustered and out of breath. The sound of him banging into something vibrated through the flat. I dropped my bag onto the floor and hung my coat up on the hooks by the front door and walked into the living room. I rolled my neck, feeling the strain from today settling in my bones. The living room was a mess, the sofa cushions were strewn all over the floor. I walked over to pick them up, spotting a black high-heeled shoe under the couch. My hand began to shake as I pulled it out and inspected the shoe. It was a black open-toe Louboutin. I turned it over in my hand looking at the signature red bottom. I had only ever dreamed of owning a pair of shoes like this, so I know that it isn’t one of mine that I’ve misplaced under the couch.

“Marcus, who's is this shoe?” I shout, standing up with the shoe in my hand, looking at it like an idiot. I know that there’s only one explanation, but my mind is refusing to accept that. I refuse to accept that.

“What! I will be out in a second.” He shouts again.

I can hear him rushing around the bedroom. I slowly walk to the door feeling numb, today has been the worst day of my life and it just keeps piling up. My hand trembles and the tears sting my eyes as I push the bedroom door open, only for it to slam shut in my face, startling me. I push again and can feel Marcus pushing back against it, stopping me from entering the room.

“Marcus, open the door!”

My voice is croaky as I try to hold in my tears. I know that when this door opens, my world is finally going to come crashing down around me, but I don’t care. I have to see it for myself, so I know that this is really happening and that I’ve not fallen asleep and I’m just having a terrible nightmare.

“Just give me a minute, Ayla!” He shouts.

“Marcus!”

I push the door and feel his weight move from behind it. I stumble into the room and see a dark-haired woman trying to fasten her blouse up as Marcus grabs me, turning me away from her. I turn my head to look back at her, to make sure my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me, but he grabs my face, turning it away from the woman.

“I can explain!” He says, pinching my face tight so I have to look at him and not around the room.

His shirt is undone and I can see his firm chest with scratch marks running across it. Her pink lipstick mark is still on his skin near his collarbone. I push against his firm chest pushing him away from me. His touch feels dirty. He grabs me again, his grip on my arms is tight. As he pulls me back, he shakes me slightly, making me look up into his light blue eyes. His brown hair is ruffled and messy and he looks genuinely upset.

“Get off me!” I shout, pushing him away from me and breaking free of his grip. The room feels like all the air has been sucked from it. I spin and dart for the door needing to get away from him and this flat, everywhere I look I see him and her.

“Ayla please, it was a mistake.” He cries from behind me.

“A mistake!”

I throw the shoe that I’m still clutching in my hand at Marcus. He ducks, and it hits the bedroom door with a loud thud.

“A mistake is picking up the wrong bag at the shop or forgetting your mum's birthday. Sleeping with some girl is not a mistake, Marcus!”

I grab my bag off the floor and pull the front door open.

“Please Ayla, I love you.”

I pause, the muscles in my back tense. That was the first time Marcus had said he loved me and it was tainted. I know he only said it to stop me from leaving, he thought I was stupid enough to stay after finding him with another woman. I didn’t turn around, happy with what he had just shouted at me, but I pushed forward running down the stairs as if the hounds of hell were on my heels, nipping at me, desperate to taste my flesh. I pushed the building’s front door open, welcoming the cold, wet air. I lift my face to the sky and let the rain mingle with my tears, washing them away. My heart was beating painfully in my chest, I thought Marcus was special, I thought he actually cared about me but I was a fool, my friends all tried to tell me that he was a player and that I would end up broken-hearted but I refused to believe them, they warned me that this would happen but I was too naive to see what kind of man Marcus really was, all the signs were there but I was blind to them. My phone begins to vibrate in my bag. On instinct, I route through the bag and see my mum's name on the screen.

I take a deep breath and answer.

“Hey, mum.” I try to sound happy and upbeat, but the pain in my chest is overbearing, I’m not sure if I can take another blow.

“Sweetheart, are you ok?” She asks, her voice is soft but I can hear the concern swimming in her words.

Ever since I was a child, my mum has had some strange sixth sense about when I was feeling low and right now I didn’t think I could fall any lower.

“Everything is falling apart mum, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I confessed.

“Why don’t you come home now, sweetheart? You can stay with me and your dad.”

I let out a deep sigh as I thought about what my mum had just offered. I had nowhere to stay, and I had no job. Marcus had made sure the few friends I had here didn’t want anything to do with me and I couldn’t think of anything better than being at home with my mum and dad right now. I needed one of my mum’s cuddles.

“Thanks, Mum. I will be home soon.”