WhitneyThere are moments in life you don't expect. I've experienced quite a few in my life. Sleeping with Ryan, finding out that I'm pregnant, thinking Ryan was the officer killed only to find out it was Trevor and he was badly hurt. Most of the time you're unprepared for the emotions and the repercussions these moments bring to you. That's where I am right now. Sitting beside Ryan in the surgical waiting room, holding my breath to see what they say about my brother.In the corner sits my parents. Married almost forty years, and they've never had to sit at the hospital for either of us, or themselves before. In the opposite corner, Blaze sits next to her partner but both of them have vacant eyes as they stare unseeingly at the room of gathered people. Me? I sit here next to Ryan, my heart bursting.In the middle of this impossible situation, whether it be appropriate or not, I need to tell him how much he means to me. For once, I have to let go of the fear, and let the truth fly
WhitneyThe hospital is quiet this morning as I carry the food and my purse through the hallways before I hit the elevator. Ryan had barely stirred this morning when I left the bed, which says a lot about how tired he is. We've all been stressed about Trevor, but yesterday they'd downgraded him and moved him to a private room on a regular floor. To say we're all relieved is an understatement.If you ask everyone in my family, I can almost guarantee that we all slept better last night than we have since the wreck. I struggle with believing it's only been a few days.The elevator dings and I hop on, not surprised it's empty. Not many people want to spend their Thanksgiving morning in a hospital, but it's tradition for Trevor and I have to have breakfast before we go over to mom and dad's for a late lunch/early dinner. I can't bring myself to stop the tradition just because he's in the hospital. If anything, it makes me want to keep it going.When the doors open on the appropriate
WhitneyToday has been a shit day. I couldn't get into my favorite sandals because my feet have swollen so much and even though it's damn December, it's still hot in Alabama. The shirt I wanted to wear didn't cover my stomach, and I have the worst craving I've ever had for sweet tea.I haven't even had a sweet tea since I found out I was pregnant, but today, my mouth waters as I think about drinking one.Checking the clock on my SUV, I see I have thirty minutes before I have to meet my next appointment. If I swing into the Sonic drive-thru, I should still make it in plenty of time. As I pull into their parking lot, I go around the building to take my place in line, instead of blocking traffic by pulling sideways into the drive-thru. That's a pet peeve of mine, and I always make sure not to do it.I text the bride I'm meeting, letting her know I'll be there in a few minutes, and then watch as an older gentleman in a Range Rover pulls into the drive, blocking traffic just like I
Renegade"You're not looking so hot this morning, Princess."Yesterday she was like the energizer bunny, cleaning the house like the devil himself was nipping at her heels. Today, it looks like she almost can't get out of bed."I think I overdid it," she admits as she tries to sit up. "I'm sick to my stomach, and I haven't been sick to my stomach in months.""You want me to call into work? You think I need to take you to get checked out?"It's so hard to know with her, hard to gauge how she feels and what she's thinking. For so long, Whitney's done things her way, but over the course of the last few days she's started to hand some things over. Addison's taking care of the business while Whitney takes a short maternity leave, and her mom is organizing the care for Trevor.Whitney had wanted to do all of those things because that's what she's always done, but judging by the way she looks right now, it's gonna be a miracle if she can get out of bed today. "Babe, you're kinda s
Whitney"Should we put Santa gifts out for her?" I whisper as I reach over to lie Stella down in her crib.Ryan gives me a look, motioning us out of the nursery. When we close the door partway and walk down the hallway, he turns to me. "Whit, she's ten days old. She's not going to even wonder when she gets older if we did anything for her first Christmas.""Logically I know that, but what if when she's older, she asks for pictures?""Then she'll have them of all of us with her at her grandparents' opening gifts. Babe, don't overthink this. Let's just go to the living room, make sure everything is turned off, and sleep while she does. You know as well as I do she'll be up in a few hours and we'll be dragging ass tomorrow."He's right. We're still trying to get on a schedule and it's been harder than I imagined it would be. "Sounds like a great plan to me."I almost don't want to go any further down the hall than our bedroom. There's a part of me that wants to ask Ryan to mak
VOLUME TWO:TANKBlaze"Dispatch, this is thirty-two, thirty-two show us en route to the call for the vehicle collision at the bottoms," I notify our intent to respond as my partner Logan and I make our way to the call that came over the radio moments before. We're not far away, five minutes on the curvy backroads. I hang on as Logan hits a pothole that's gotten worse after the brutally hot summer we had. "Damn county needs to fix these roads," I gripe as I brace my hand above my head to keep from hitting the roof of the ambulance.The radio cackles as dispatch comes through with more information about the scene we're headed toward. "Be advised we're hearing now it's an officer who's been involved in the collision. They've requested the fire department bring in the jaws of life."Thank God, Trevor isn't working today. He texted me earlier telling me he was going fishing, so the fear I feel isn't as bad as it would be if I were wondering where he is. Going over the list of the
TankEverything fucking hurts. I've never felt this kind of pain before in my life, not even when I was in the military. What's worse is I don't remember what I've done to cause myself to be in this agony.The last thing I can recall is driving to the bottoms with my windows cracked, hard rock playing as loud as I could handle it, and my thoughts on the red-head spitfire who's been ignoring me for months. I was formulating a plan to get back in her good graces, to let her know her job didn't mean jack shit, if it meant my ultimatum kept her away from me. She called my bluff and when I got to my fishing spot, I was going to text her, let her know I'd deal with her job because fuck – I missed her. After that all I remember is pain."Trevor, can you hear me?"I'm trying to tell this woman who keeps screaming at me that I can indeed, fucking hear her. She's shoving something into my side near my lung and it's killing me.I go to grab for it, feeling plastic. Maybe it's a tube.
Blaze"With him, I wouldn't be good driving. I wanna be back here, making sure he's comfortable until we hand his care over."Logan nods, and we race like hell for the helipad where the air evac will meet us to take him to the nearest trauma center an hour away. I administer anything and everything I can to make him more comfortable, watching his low blood pressure and heart rate with a critical eye.Suddenly his already low pressure begins dropping. "Trevor!" My hands shake, and for the first time, I don't know what to do. My normally instinctual training is gone and I'm scared to death. "Don't do this to me," I look around in the back of the ambulance, everything looking foreign to me. His blood pressure drops further, beeps going off everywhere and I'm lost. Tears are streaming down my face and I'm hyperventilating, unsure of what to do to help him. He's dying in front of me, and I can't help him. I gasp, jerking awake so hard that I fall off the cot I've been sleeping o
CruiseFive Years Later"Molly's asleep." I press my wife up against the door to our bedroom, spreading open-mouth kisses along her neck as we grind against one another. Pulling back, I push my hands up her tank top, palming her breasts, moaning as I feel her nipples peak against her bra. "I paid Kelsea her stupid-ass babysitting fee, she's gone. We're alone." I can hear the annoyance in my voice. It's been an on-going argument between the two of us, how I'd watched her for free as a kid, and now she charges us.We've been out with friends and family, had a DD, and both of us have had a little too much to drink. Her with the margaritas she likes to indulge in with the ladies, and me with the whiskey Morgan and I were shooting straight with my dad."God, I want you." She rakes her nails across my neck, down my back, and fists my shirt in her hands.I want her too. Molly is three now, born within the first two years of us getting married, and we've finally got this parenting th
Ruby"Where are you taking me?" I watch as Caleb drives through the streets of downtown. This fall night is cool as rain falls from the sky. It's not sheets like the day he shot the armed man, but a steady drumming against the roof of the Jeep."You'll see." His deep voice has a secretive lilt to it, one that I've come to know well in the year we've been together. He's not great at keeping secrets, but when he does, they're the best kind.As he turns in front of The Café, I grin. No matter what's happened inside the building or in front of it, this is still one of our favorite places to go, to be. On any given night, we can walk inside and find any number of friends or family inside. It's darkish in there tonight, but I figure maybe the electricity is flickering because of the rain storm we're in. Earlier in the day, the school had lost power.He snags a parking spot near the door. "Don't touch the door, I'll come around for you. I don't want you get wet."Since the first nig
RubySeptemberBack when I bought this dress so many months ago, I had assumed I would wear it for Valentine's Day, but because of Caleb's schedule we were never able to make a special date work. He never did take me to that dinner, but we've had so many other special moments that I truly can't complain. Tonight, however, I'm thrilled to be wearing this dress to watch him get an award for bravery."You look absolutely gorgeous." He comes up behind me in the mirror as I'm applying a layer of lipstick."You don't look so bad yourself." I turn around in his arms, helping to straighten his dress uniform.I don't think Caleb has ever looked as hot as he does right now. There's something about him being so buttoned-up that I'm loving. "It's cutting off my circulation." He pulls at the fabric around his neck."You're fine." I slap his hands away. "Are you nervous?""Not really," he says with a shake of his head. "Nerves was playing for the college football championship. This is
RubyI'm lying on my couch, re-watching some TV show I've seen a million times, trying to figure out how to get through to Caleb when the doorbell rings. At first I ignore it, not wanting to disturb my brooding, but then I hear his voice."Red?" It's unsure and soft as he knocks on the door this time. "I know I don't deserve for you to let me in, but I'm asking you to. Please?"For a moment I think about ignoring him, I think about letting him sit out there and sweat. Give him the same type of reaction he's given me, but I realize quickly one of us has to be the bigger person. That person is me, because I know he's hurting and I know he's dealt with the situation he's been thrust into the best way he knows how.Opening the door, I stand there with my arms crossed. Until I see what he's carrying in his hands.The ugliest looking cupcakes I've ever seen in my life."I finally realized why he made them, even though they looked like shit," he gives me a slight smile. "It's the
Cruise"How'd you get in here?"My dad is waiting on me, probably ready to rip me a new one, just like Ruby did. I'm so not in the mood for it tonight."You don't need to know how I got in here." He gets up from where he's sitting on my couch. "Instead, what we need to do is talk about how we're going to get you to where you need to be.""What the fuck is that supposed to mean? This is me.""This isn't you, we both know that. I didn't raise you to be a fuck face. You haven't been answering my calls, your mom's, Kelsea's, or come to find out Ruby's, so let's talk about this Caleb. What the fuck is going on?""Nothing." I grind my teeth together, not wanting to do this with him."We've done this once before son, and we won't do it again. Do you remember when your friend died? Remember when you pushed everyone away? How'd that work out for you?""How does having a murderer for a son work out for you?" I fire back at him. "Because I'm on administrative leave for committing
RubyI'm sitting in my car watching Morgan and Caleb eat through The Café window. This is what I've been reduced to. It's been a week since the shooting, and so far, Caleb's refused to see me. I went to see him the other night, and it was a bad scene."What are you doing here?" Caleb opens his door, arms crossed over his chest. "I figured me not answering any of your calls let you know I'm not up to talking to anyone right now. Including you."Not gonna lie, this hurts. Seeing him like this hurts, hearing him talk to me the way he is hurts. But I won't give up on him. I promised Kelsea months ago that I would be here if he needed me, that I could handle whatever was thrown at me."You need me," I talk against the tightness in my throat."I need to be left the fuck alone. You. Mom. Dad. You all need to leave me the fuck alone.""We won't," I shake my head standing my ground. "We won't leave you alone to deal with this by yourself.""Fine, then if you won't leave, I will."
CruiseThe July sun is beating down on the pavement as I make my drive around the streets that make up Laurel Springs. It's been a boring day, for the most part, but I'm not stupid enough to think it'll last. Lately it's been slow and I've been feeling a lot like the other shoe might drop. This nagging feeling hasn't let go for the last week, but I know eventually either that shoe will drop or I'll get over it.Rain came through over an hour ago, but it did nothing to cool the day down. It's now a sauna outside. In certain parts there's actually steam coming up off the road. Behind the sun that's moved in, you can see more clouds behind. A dark hazy threat looming in the background, more storms are moving in. The stillness of the day threatens to break wide open when they do.Because of the heat that's been baking the ground and asphalt for days, most people are inside this afternoon, enjoying the air conditioning and not wanting to have heatstroke. Probably one of the reasons th
CruiseI love the smile on Kelsea's face, love even more that I'm the one who put it there. "You excited Kels?" I grin into the rearview as we make the drive to Birmingham."So excited, like I knew you knew him." She bounces in her seat. "But I didn't really know!"Him references my college roommate Slater Harlow, known by everyone who watches professional baseball as Savage. He's a formidable force on the baseball diamond, having the best season of his career. We're not as close as we once were, because life took us two totally different directions, but we still hang out every once in a while. Typically I like to keep the fact I know him from just about everyone, because I know he values his privacy. Now though? Kels is old enough to go to a major league game, and I'm doing my best to impress Ruby."I've known him a long time." I think back to our college days, how both of us had been so damn homesick. Him more than me, since I could at least head home on the weekend. Slater w
RubyIt's a hot summer day, as I walk onto the practice field. Since school let out in early June, I've been catching up on sleep, taking a summer class, and spending as much time with the man in my life as I can. Neither Mason nor Caleb are here today. Both are on duty, so another parent has offered to help the girls practice. Karina is sick with a summer cold and me? I'm here, not sure what the hell I've gotten myself into. Kelsea and I are spending the afternoon together, beginning with me picking her up. So we'll see how this goes."Ruby!" I hear as I shield my eyes and look out along the field. Kelsea is running toward me, her backpack bouncing as she runs."Hey Kels," I greet her, a real smile on my face. She and I haven't had a ton of time with one another, but as Caleb and I have gotten closer, the same has been true for the two of us. "You ready?" I wave to today's coach as she walks beside me."I am, it's hot out here." She pushes her hair back from her forehead.Ta