I decided to spend the night at Vinnie's place. Going back home didn't feel right. Things with mom are worse than ever, and after the things she said to my face, I don't know if I'll ever find it in me to forgive her for her actions and try to act normally. She makes me feel like the villain of the story when I haven't done anything wrong. I didn't ask for any of this to happen. Luca Ferrante was the one who came after me many times before. At first, I thought that he was investigating me simply because he wanted to know what kind of family he was associating himself with. Now that I'm going back to those memories, I'm seeing that maybe he was hinting at something from the start, but because I was told that he was more interested in Mary, I shrugged it all off. What he told me last night changes that. I can't ignore what he said anymore, and I can't act like I still think that he will choose Mary. He won't. If he ever considered her, he changed his mind a long time ago, before he
Feeling sand between my toes is just what I needed to unwind. After Brett left, I didn't feel like doing anything else. I had lunch because I promised Constance that I would, and she pretended like she didn't see my puffy face. It was the perfect arrangement. She asked no questions. I offered no answers. When I finished lunch, I went up to my room but it had lost its charm, somehow. It felt too confined. I needed a place where I could breathe and think without having my thoughts ricocheting. So I decided to come to the beach. I haven't been here in ages. I just never have time. I was always busy planning something with Vic or Brett but now I have the time, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity. Here, I have more than enough space to think.Telling Brett was the best decision I’ve made so far. Well, technically he came to me with his suspicions and all I did was confirm them, but I still poured my heart out to him. Surprisingly, though, he didn’t think I was responsible for an
Luca This is the third event that Laura hasn't shown up to. At this point, I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm lost. And yes, I've been keeping count. I won't waste time telling myself that I don't notice her absence. I'm a lot of things, but a liar isn't one of them. I hold the truth until it can be revealed at the appropriate time. If that's considered lying then I'm a liar. So be it. But that's how I am. It's how I've always been. I've been meaning to see her and talk to her. Again, I know I promised her that I'd keep my distance, but this feels different somehow. It isn't an ordinary scenario. I have to know if the reason why she has been avoiding me is because of her mother and sister and the rumor they've been spreading around. I confronted my mother about it, of course. She told Miguel about it but chose not to tell me. When I asked her why, she simply shrugged and said that she didn't think it was that important. That was when I realized why she didn't tell me. It's
There's not much to look forward to these days and I don't know how I got to this point. Rather, I do know, but there isn't much that I can do to stop this. Having fun feels wrong at a time like this, which is what's stopping me from calling Victoria or Brett and are arranging something. I'm sure they'd find it strange of me, too, because it seems they're taking my situation more to the heart than I am. They're careful around me, especially where it concerns Mary. Going out so out of the question, and to be fair, I don't see much of them these days. I'm having lunch later in the kitchen, and it's the same with dinner whenever I do feel like having some. Dad left a message with Constance. He wants to talk to me as soon as he returns from his trip. I haven't gone to his office yet, though. He might ask me about Luca and I wouldn't know how to answer him. I'm confused about all of this myself. Besides, I'm avoiding the matter as much as possible. The good thing is that mom and Mary a
I pace around the living room before Luca knocks on the front door. I let him inside. I couldn't refuse to see him. If he has something urgent to say, then he can say it. I ignore the fact that we agreed that he would stop following me around in places. This is the farthest thing from my mind at the moment. I'm curious. That's why I'm letting him in. I want to know what he's going to say to me so urgently. Maybe I can say a few things to him, if the opportunity presents itself. What I'm tired of doing is running around in circles with him. Maybe what we need is time alone, so I can tell him clearly, without anyone watching, that I want him to leave me alone. But is that what I really want? I ask myself. I confess that I wasn't expecting to feel this much nervousness. I never felt this way before. Dealing with him was simply something annoying that I had to endure. Somehow, this moment feels different. I can't explain why. Maybe it's the fact that I don't see him the way I used t
It's Mary. I can hardly believe it when I look over my shoulder and make eye contact with her. This can't be happening to me. Not now. Not here of all places. She stares back at me blankly, like she barely sees me at all but something dark is swimming in the depths of her eyes. For a second, the scene before us disappears and it's just the two of us in this room. Her disgust toward me is palpable. I see the way the cornered of her lips turn down in disappointment. I blink and the world snaps back to its original state. I turn my head away from her and make eye contact with Luca instead. He never took his eyes off me. Or his hands, for that matter. I don't say a word to him but he must have gotten the message somehow. He lets his hands fall to his sides and takes a step back. Even so, we're still standing too close, and anyone would know that something transpired between us. For a few painful seconds, nothing is said. I don't know what to say. I doubt that Mary would say anything ei
The sun is hidden behind the clouds, and the day is gloomy and gray. It reminds me of funeral days. I call them that because this is the kind of weather that I've always associated with funerals. I don't mind a cloudy day, but this is different. It's heavy, like the sky is buckling beneath the weight of the clouds. It worsens my mood, and I close the curtains sharply, eager to be rid of the view before me. I have no plans to leave my room. Where would I even go when I'm feeling this down? Last night, I thought that I'd wake up feeling like death itself and regretting my choice of words, but oddly enough I don't. If that makes me a terrible person then so be it. I can't lie to myself. I feel like I could have said a lot more to her, and I keep replaying the fight in my head and wishing that I'd added more to my sentences. Mary deserved to hear what I said. I never realized how fake she was. I mean, she didn't become this person overnight. It was somewhere deep inside of her. Hidden.
Luca There she is. Seeing Laura approaching our table makes my heart beat faster, and I love the thrill of it. I stand when she finally reaches me, and she looks at me with wide and uncertain eyes. I put a hand on her shoulder and kiss her lightly on the cheek. She shivers when I graze my lips against her cheek. A seemingly innocent action. She steps back carefully and takes a seat. Her cheeks are now the color of her lips, and it pleases me to see her react this way. One would assume that a fiery woman like her wouldn't blush when kissed by a man, much less on the cheek, but Laura is a box full of surprises. She's the most interesting person that I've ever met. She intertwines her fingers and looks everywhere but at me. I take the opportunity to stare at her while she isn't looking directly at me. She looks perfectly fine, and it helps me shake the guilt I feel for leaving her alone last night off. I can't forget the haunted look on her face when she saw her sister standing at t