Honestly, I didn't think that I would end up here. The last few 'events' were awful for me. I was so concerned with avoiding Luca that I didn't allow myself to have any fun whatsoever. It was torture, being there and knowing that I wasn't wanted by my family, and it was even worse when mom bought me that plain dress and got Mary a designer one. This event is a little different, though. For starters, none of my relatives are here. Dad is still away on his business trip. He should have been back by now, but something unexpected happened and he had to stay longer. I spoke to him the other day and we didn't talk about Luca at all, but I could tell that he wanted to ask me how things were. I kind of wish he had because then I'd know that he's worried about me. This is a silly thought, though, and I know it. My dad doesn't have Italian roots so he would rather not meddle in things that he doesn't understand. Of course if he knew all the details of my situation with Mary, he'd intervene,
Luca The evening couldn't have been more perfect, even with Priscilla lingering around like the shadow of an old memory. If I knew that she would be here, I wouldn't have brought Laura. Rather, I wouldn't have come at all. I know what my mother is trying to do and I don't appreciate it whatsoever. She knows what I think about Priscilla. Yes, she was my first love, but whatever transpired between us is in the past. She has no business being here, trying to disrupt my future. I needed her several years ago. I have no use for her now. I glance at Laura. She's listening to something my father is saying attentively. Her hair is down and tucked behind her ear which is adorned by a pearl earring. She looks lovely tonight. Absolutely stunning. I can't stop looking at her, and I'm sure this feeling that I have is never going to go away. I'm waiting for her to finish her dessert so we can get out of here. Although I loved having her here tonight, I wish the circumstances had been different.
I open my eyes and yawn. I had a good night's sleep, and quite frankly, I haven't been this happy in the morning for a long, long time. There's a permanent smile on my face and it's all because of Luca. I can't think about last night without blushing. I never thought that I'd feel this way about him. The change within me is drastic but, frankly, I don't regret it. I'm glad that I changed my mind about him. I keep asking myself how things would have been if I had chosen to ignore his advances. I wouldn't be feeling this way, and it feels almost ludicrous to not feel like this. "Luca," I whisper his name, then touch my lips with my fingertips. I can't begin to describe the way his kiss made me feel. It was like he was prepared to devour me whole. I've never been kissed that way before. And he kissed me without having to touch me anywhere else, and yet that kiss was enough. How would it feel to have his hands all over my body? The thought makes me shudder. I wanted him to touch me, th
A sound of disappointment leaves my lips. I shove my phone back under my pillow and lay my head on it but sleep doesn't come to me. I can't sleep with this feeling burning my chest and ripping me apart. This is the third day that I wake up to absolutely no news from Luca. It's been three whole days since we've last seen each other, and talked for that matter. I knew that something was off that day, but I didn't know just how bad things would get. There has to be a reason. Before, I thought that he needed some time and anyway, we couldn't see each other everyday. He was a busy man, after all. He had things to do. Having lunch with me probably wasn't on his list of top priorities. This made me sad, but it's the truth. We're adults. We have busy lives. I don't, but he has. But he hasn't texted or called. I haven't heard any news from him whatsoever. It's discouraging. Sure, we're not teenagers anymore who constantly text each other and ask how our days went and if we had something to
I can't help but glance at him for the twelfth time. He hadn't said much to me in the car and it reminds me of the last time. Deep inside of me, I can't help but wonder if this is the real Luca and whether all the other versions of him I saw were fake and designed to lure me in. If so, he didn't finish the job. I'm enchanted with him but I could extract myself from this situation if I decide that it's the best decision for me. I won't stay in a toxic pre-relationship simply because I can't admit the facts to myself. The fact is that he has changed. Drastically so. I don't even recognize the man that's sitting beside me in the car. It doesn't feel like he's the same man I danced with and kissed that night a hundred years ago.I give up glancing at him and stare out the window instead. The view of the city is much more pleasant and less confusing. I purse my lips and try to keep my anger superficial. If he wants to see me, it's for a good reason. I tell myself this so I don't freak ou
I won't lie and say that I'm not nervous. I can't begin to imagine what Sarah Ferrante might want to speak to me in private about. About Luca, sure. But what exactly? I close my eyes and rest my head against the headrest of his car. I think of Eliza at the mall. I hope Sarah won't do the same and try to warn me to stay away from her son. I’m not someone who gives up easily. I never have been. I have a stubbornness that I inherited from my father, apparently. That’s what mom always said. My father walked into this life not knowing what he was getting himself into all those years ago and he didn’t crumble. He was driven for the love he had for her. And us. My late grandfather gave him no other choice; it was either he joined the family and became one of them, or he would have him killed and make his daughter a widow and Mary an orphan. Despite the fact that he came from a normal family, he never gave up. He adapted. But I’m not sure how much it took from him. It must have been a lot
The past few days have been hell for me.Things between Eliza and Miguel couldn't have been worse. I know this because their problems are becoming more public, I'd say. She argues with him in front of everyone these days and things are getting out of hand. They've been bad ever since they crashed the yacht. She pushed him and he lost control. I'm sincerely hoping that I won't cross her path, not while Laura is here in the house with me. I didn't want to bring her, but when my mother told me that she wanted to talk to her, I didn't know what to say to her to change her mind. My mother isn't the kind of person who changes her mind on a whim. If she decided that she wanted to talk to Laura, nothing would stop her from doing so. She told me that she wanted to talk to her to get to know her, but I'm worried and I don't know why. No, I do know why. She's Priscilla's number one supporter and although she hasn't talked about her to me yet, I'm hoping that she has finally understood that Pris
A few hours earlier...Kissing Luca is always a magical moment and I'll never deny that. It lights my soul on fire, and all I can think about for hours on end is how his lips felt against mine and how my heart was in my throat when he touched me. But after the moment, a wave of guilt crashes into me, so powerful that I lose the ability to breathe. I can't kiss him without thinking about Mary. It's sickening and wrong, and it fills me with shame so deep that it can't be unrooted. Luca notices. Of course he does. He notices everything and although I'm flattered that he pays so much attention to me, it's frustrating not being able to keep this a secret. I close the front door behind me and lean against it. I wish I could be more open to this; to him. I wish I could throw myself in his arms without feeling so much remorse. Things would be so much easier, and I'd be able to say to myself that I love him. The words are on the tip of my tongue but there's something pushing them back and fo