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94: NOT GOODBYE
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The Mate Agreement 95: TRANQUIL
Three days pass me by in a blur, engulfed in anxiety, uneasiness, and anticipation of what is to come. When I can’t stay glued to William’s sleeping form, I go on long walks to clear my head and try to envision everything going smoothly.Most of the time, I’m out of luck.On the morning of the surgery, I wake up early and get ready, throwing on a black cardigan and a white maxi skirt. The weather here is starting to get colder.Soon, winter will roll in.I move to the large windows and gaze out to the view, sighing.Outside the window, the serene garden unfolds like a painter's masterpiece. Lush emerald grass stretches like a velvety carpet, adorned with an array of vibrant flowers that dance in harmony with the gentle breeze. Sunlight filters through the leaves of ancient trees nestled into far corners of the estate buildings, casting intricate patterns of dappled shade upon the scene.The closer I look, the more beautiful it gets.I try to allow it to clear my mind of its worries.A
The Mate Agreement 96: TRANQUIL II
He doesn’t remember.He can’t remember.The world continues to spin for me as I try to come to terms with the possibility of the situation. Each passing second that William continues to stare at me like I am a stranger feels like my heart is being dashed against a rock.It’s been three minutes since the doctor came in, and I stand anxiously by the bedside, fidgeting with the ring William gave me. The ring he doesn’t remember giving me.In my head, I am pacing, but my body physically stays rigid, unable to move an inch, listening only to the hammering of my heart and the mechanical humming of the machines.I take in a shaky breath as the doctor straightens from flashing a light in William’s eye. He’d asked him a series of questions to understand the extent of his memory loss. "Ms. Caillou," he begins with a sigh, his tone gentle, "I understand that this is an incredibly difficult time for you. William’s surgery was complex, and the brain is a delicate organ. Memory loss can sometimes o
The Mate Agreement 97: MEMORY BY MEMORY
I rise from my stupor with a throbbing deep in my head and heavy eyelids. Memories and reality try to coax me out of the blissfulness of oblivion, but I keep my eyes closed, hoping if I did so long enough; if I don’t open them, I will not have to be confronted by the truth of the events that have unfolded in the near past. But the nightmare of reality follows me behind my closed eyes, and I find myself imaging William’s face; his eyes staring back at me blankly with no tender emotion except confusion and pity.Still with my eyes closed, I scrunch up my face, the impact of a mere imagination like physical pain inflicted on me. “No…” I groan, trying to bury my head deeper into the softness of the pillows and the sheets beneath me.“You’re awake.”My eyes fly open at the sound of William’s voice, and his face looming above me. There is a beat of silence as I dared to hope, tracing the contours and angles of his face with my gaze while he watches me back curiously. He’s in the bed with me
The Mate Agreement 98: SPARK SOMETHING
I sigh as I shut the doors behind me.With a lingering sense of the charged moment upstairs, I manage to steady my breath and emotions before venturing downstairs. The warm aroma of dinner wafts through the air, mingling with the faint light of the sunset filtering through the gleaming windows of the living room. The pack house feels familiar yet strangely distant, as if every corner holds fragments of a life that's both known and elusive.And I guess that pretty much sums up my whole experience here.As I reach the dining area, Mila is already there, sitting at the table with a thoughtful expression, tapping away on her phone. She glances up, her eyes meeting mine, and a small, knowing smile tugs at her lips. It's that kind of unspoken connection we've seemed to develop in such a short time, just before this chaotic storm of forgotten memories."You're awake," she says softly, pocketing back her phone, and I nod as I take a seat across from her.The table is adorned with a feast that
The Mate Agreement 99: LOOK AT ME
In the quiet of the evening, as the house settles into a serene hush, I find myself standing before William’s door, heart pounding with a mixture of anticipation and nerves. With a soft exhale, I knock gently again and wait, the weight of my thoughts heavy in the stillness.When an answer doesn’t come, I try the knob.The door creaks open, revealing the space beyond, dimly lit by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. He stands there, a black shirt balled up in his hands. The sight is both familiar and intimate, his back muscles flexing as he returns the shirt into a drawer.He begins to unbutton the shirt he’s wearing, movements slow and deliberate, as if lost in thought. Unbeknownst to him, I step back, retreating into the shadows. An involuntary blush warms my cheeks as my gaze lingers, a mixture of curiosity and vulnerability mingling within me.It’s not like I’ve never seen him shirtless, but still…He turns slightly, catching a flicker of movement, and freezes. Caught in the act, I
The Mate Agreement 100: HOME
Standing at the airport, a blend of excitement and nervousness swirls within us. Or at the very least, within me. The journey ahead was marked by more than just miles; it was a step towards rediscovery, a leap of faith into a world that had once been familiar.We say our goodbyes to Luke and Mila.The flight to Deveras is smooth, despite my minor anxiety about flying. William spends most of the plane ride absorbed into reading a book on the psychology of perception, and sparing me curious glances. The city's skyline gradually comes into view as we descended. From above, Deveras is a tapestry of color and life, its streets winding like veins through the heart of the landscape. Tall buildings stand as testaments to progress, their glass facades reflecting the sunlight in a dazzling display.God, I miss home.As we disembark from the plane, the air carries the promise of familiarity, a reminder that I am stepping into a world that had once been home. A place that is still home. The airpo
The Mate Agreement 101: I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PROVE THAT TO YOU
The night drapes its velvety embrace over the world, the moonlight filtering through the window, casting a soft glow across the room. As we lay side by side in the cozy bed, a sense of peace settles around us—a respite from the chaos and intensity that often define our lives.I shift slightly, my head finding its place on William's chest. His heartbeat, steady and strong, serves as a comforting rhythm against which I nestle.I’m determined to not make this awkward.And apparently, so is he because he wraps an arm around me, his touch gentle yet possessive, as if he wants to hold onto this moment just as tightly as I do. The sensation of his fingers tracing soothing patterns along my arm sends a shiver of contentment down my spine."Comfortable?" he murmurs, his voice a soft whisper that resonates within me.I smile against his chest, my breath mingling with the fabric of his shirt. "Very."“Mmm.” His fingers continue their gentle exploration, his touch a balm that soothes the worries
The Mate Agreement 102: A HONEYMOON OF SORTS
“Have fun on your honeymoon.”I glare up at my sister Wilma who’s perched up on my dresser, swinging her legs and watching me double check to make sure I have everything I need for the five day trip. “It’s not a honeymoon.” I reply defensively, zipping up my luggage and pulling it upright.William is already out of the house. I can see him through my window, conversing with the driver waiting to take us to the airport.“Two lovebirds traveling together to spend time on an expensive resort?” Wilma taps her chin in mock thoughtfulness. “Sounds like a honeymoon to me”I sigh defeatedly. “Shut up Wilma.”She grins, sliding off the dresser and holding on to my luggage, intending to help me get it downstairs.I drag her into a brief hug. “Be good. Both here and in school.”She replies with a small laugh that tells me she’s definitely not going to be heeding my words. As I release Wilma from the hug, I take one final glance around the room, making sure everything is in order.After heartfelt
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