I don’t even know how to react. What I know is that the hair on my skin rose as I stared directly at the vice chairman. ‘Cause, how could he tell me that he likes me now? That he liked the kiss we had last night? It is too surreal and unbelievable. ”You’re kidding…” I said and started to step backward. “You can’t like me, Mr. Montenegro. I am your secretary, and have you forgotten that we are only pretending a couple?” He shook his head. “Will you be mad if I say that I can’t pretend that you are not affecting me when in fact even standing here in front of you makes me weak?” he said emphatically yet so slower in tone. “Because this is before, within three years, I only held back because of my pride. Because you are too… simplified by a complex man like me.” I fell silent and merely chose to listen to him. He inhaled sharply and the flickers in his eyes glimmered due to the lamppost above. The wind whistled again, and I could sleep now due to its soothing sound. Despite the tension
I did my job when I went inside the conference room after I talked to the executive director, Mr. Ford Montenegro. Cups of coffee were served to every board member as I alternately looked at the representative in front of everyone who is doing her best to practice her report for her presentation today in the meeting. “Excuse me, miss,” one of the board caught my eyes when he was seemingly calling for me, so I regarded the gentleman immediately. “May I know if the chairman is also joining us today in the conference?” I politely smiled and nodded for the confirmation. “Well, yes, sir. Fortunately, the chairman will be joining the meeting since today’s agenda is important.” “Oh, okay. What about the vice chairman?” he added. It was part of the job -- to accommodate who are included to every appointment of Mr. Darwin Montenegro. Speaking of my boss who has been grumpy to me this morning, he has still not yet arrived. I just entertained the board members with answers that are needed for
SHANELLEHindi ako makapaniwala sa mismong sarili ko. Hinayaan kong mahulog kay Steven nang tuluyan at pinanalo ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.We dated secretly without everyone knowing. I thought at first that this was a bad idea. Dawn will be furious, and this is not okay. I don't know what to even call this: stealth? a betrayal? Pero ang sabi ni Steven ay tumigil na siya sa panliligaw kay Dawn. It turns out that we like each other. It's just that a part of me is afraid to what will happen if everyone finds out about us. Ang sabi ni Steven ay siya na ang bahala. At naniwala ako dahil lagi niya akong kinukumbinsi na kung handa na akong sabihin sa lahat at kung makakita siya ng tiyempo na magsabi ay hindi na namin ililihim.This is a thing that is difficult to believe. An obscurity. Noong una ay hindi ako mapaniwala na gustong makipagkaibigan sina Dawn sa akin, at ngayon naman ay malalaman ko pang gusto rin ako ni Steven? Hindi naman ako gano'n kaimportante. Hindi rin ako sikat,
SHANELLEHindi ako makapaniwala sa mismong sarili ko. Hinayaan kong mahulog kay Steven nang tuluyan at pinanalo ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.We dated secretly without everyone knowing. I thought at first that this was a bad idea. Dawn will be furious, and this is not okay. I don't know what to even call this: stealth? a betrayal? Pero ang sabi ni Steven ay tumigil na siya sa panliligaw kay Dawn. It turns out that we like each other. It's just that a part of me is afraid to what will happen if everyone finds out about us. Ang sabi ni Steven ay siya na ang bahala. At naniwala ako dahil lagi niya akong kinukumbinsi na kung handa na akong sabihin sa lahat at kung makakita siya ng tiyempo na magsabi ay hindi na namin ililihim.This is a thing that is difficult to believe. An obscurity. Noong una ay hindi ako mapaniwala na gustong makipagkaibigan sina Dawn sa akin, at ngayon naman ay malalaman ko pang gusto rin ako ni Steven? Hindi naman ako gano'n kaimportante. Hindi rin ako sikat,
SHANELLEMaganda ang isang linggo ko sa Auckland, New Zealand. Tahimik at hindi magulo. Ang mga taong nang-api sa 'kin noon? Hindi ko na nakikita ngayon sa lugar na ito.Pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n na wala sila sa bawat bangungot ko sa gabi.Minsan, napapanaginipan ko ang mga nangyari sa nakaraan ko. Binabangungot ako, tapos gigising na lang na umiiyak. Imbes na makatulog ulit ay hindi ko na magawa kasi natatakot na akong bangungutin ulit."T-Tama na! Tama na!"Napasigaw na lamang ako sabay tayo mula sa higaan ko. Humagulgol ako sa aking mga palad. Napanaginipan ko sina Dawn noong mga panahong sinasaktan nila ako at iniinsulto ako ng mga schoolmates ko dahil inagaw ko raw si Steven.Hinilamos ko ang mukha ko at pinunasan din ang mga luha at pawis sa pisngi. Napatingin ako sa cellphone ko sa side table at nakitang maga-alas-tres na pala ng madaling araw. Madilim pa rin sa kwarto ko."Ano ba naman 'to?" sumisinghot kong sambit.Inayos ko ang aking buhok at tumingala sa kisame. I sighed
SHANELLEGabi ng Linggo ay titig na titig ako sa isang blangkong puting canvas sa balkonahe ng condo. Nakalatag sa marble table na nasa harapan ko ang mga coloring at painting materials. Naisipan kong magpinta para mawala ang mga iniisip ko.Whenever I paint, I would always think of colorful things --- like happiness and a beautiful world. But for the first time in my life, holding a paintbrush right now, dark pain and drab loneliness are my inspirations to do art.Nasaktan ako sa pakikipagkaibigan. Nasaktan ako sa eskwelahan. Nasaktan ako sa mismong sarili ko. Nasaktan ako sa pag-ibig. Nasaktan ako sa mga salitang binitawan ng mga tao sa paligid ko. Nasasaktan ako sa lahat, pero hindi ko magawang magreklamo. Para akong nakakulong sa kulungan ng kalungkutan. Para akong nakakadena sa sakit na walang hanggan.Isang ngiti ang dumating sa labi ko. Sa pagkakataong ito, isang malungkot na ngiti at walang buhay.Sinimulan kong kuhanin ang painting brush at nilunod ito sa black acrylic color
SHANELLENapatalon ako nang hawiin ni Diane ang notebook niya mula sa pagbibigay ko sa kanya hanggang sa natapon ito sa sahig ng pasilyo kung nasaan kami. Noong napatingin ako sa notebook niyang binagsak niya ay doon niya kinuha ang buhok ko nang malakas kaya napaungol ako sa sakit."Are you playing with me?" aniya sa isang mariin at mataray na boses habang sinasabunot ako. "Ang sabi ko, sagutan mo lahat. Bakit iniwan mo ang reflection part ng assignment?!""Ah! M-Masakit, Diane!" sabi ko na lang habang sinusubukang hawiin ang kamay niya mula sa pagsabunot sa akin."E ang stupid mo kasi! Bakit hindi mo sinagutan ang reflection?!" Dahil masakit na ang sabunot niya at nahihilo na ako sa paghihila niya ay nanginginig ko siyang sinagot."Opinionated n-naman kasi, Diane! Madali lang naman ang mga tanong, k-kaya hindi ko na sinagutan," rason ko. "Marami rin kasi akong g-ginawang assignments kagabi- Ah!"Parang may namuong bukol sa lalamunan ko, kaya hindi agad ako nakapagsalita sa sakit ng
I could see through his eyes that he was being affected, especially when he slightly flinched the moment I slid my hand down to his necktie. Without further ado, I grabbed the paper he signed and stood up straightly. He was still motionless while I was flipping my hair, his gaze being serious at the moment and the playfulness has been eradicated after I played with him.“I am sorry to disturb your consciousness, Mr. Montenegro, and take that as a lesson to never mess with me,” I said firmly and turned my back on him, not regretting every word I said.Does he think that I forgot that he insulted me in their first and second dinner in their mansion? If he just knows me, he would know that I don’t easily forgive and I also do not know how to forget. Duh!I rolled my eyes while walking throughout the busy hallways that contained employees who greeted me. I rode an elevator to go to my boss’ office where I know that is having his work time in his office.“Good afternoon, sir,” I greeted wh
"Wow, congratulations, Jill! Highest ka sa reporting, ah?" komento ng isang kaklase ko nang magsabay kami sa paglalakad sa kalsada. "Ang galing mo rin kasing mag-English. Nakakadugo sa ilong, alam mo iyon?"Tinawanan ko lang siya. "Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit sa English ko pa kung pwede naman sa delivery of speech, ate," aniko. "Pero thank you po!"Hoooo, nakakapagod kahit isang klase lang ngayong hapon. Marami kasing tanong ang instructor namin sa MSTE-1 tungkol sa topic ng reporting ko, at dahil ayokong mapahiya ay sinagutan ko lahat ng iyon kagaya ng pinag-aralan ko kagabi. I have always been competitive when it comes to academics without creating competitions against anyone. Gusto ko lang na mataas ang grades ko at malayo sa posibilidad na bumagsak ako. Nasa college na ako, kaya kailangan kong pagbutihan, lalo na at kasali ako sa scholarship program ng Cornelia Foundation College. Kumaway ako sa kaklase ko sa second year na pumunta sa waiting shed kung saan ang bus stop. Ako
"Lagi ka talagang aabusuhin dahil sobrang bait mo," sabi ni mama sa akin habang kumakain kami ng hapunan. "Hindi pwedeng ikaw nalang lahat, Jill. Magtira ka naman para sa sarili mo." Nadiin ko ang pagtusok ng kutsara sa karne ng isda dahil sa irita ko. Nakatalikod si mama sa akin dahil nasa upuan ako, habang siya at ang dalawang kapatid ko naman ay nasa lamesa. "Oo, mama. Oo," sagot ko nang matigil siya. Mukhang nahalata niyang ayaw kong pinapangaralan ako ngayon dahil sa pagod kaya natahimik din siya. Hindi sa padabog ako kumain ulit, pero nagpatuloy ako nang nakasimangot. Ramdam ko pa ang tingin ng kapatid kong babae sa akin, pero hindi ko na siya tiningnan pa. Umalis ako sa boarding house dahil gusto kong matahimik ang buhay ko. Tapos paparangalan pa ako rito? Ano, dahil lang sa tumigil ako sa pagtatrabaho at wala na akong naibibigay na pera, gaganituhin na nila ako? Huminga ako nang malalim matapos kong isubo ang panghuling kanin at tumayo rin para ilagay ang nagamit na kubye
I grew up as an obedient girl until I became a teenager who is known to be cool and silent to many. I have struggles when I communicate with other people since I am not immune to any forms of socializing. Maybe because I never really understood the concepts of camaraderies and friendships. For me, I am content to be alone, even if there is a saying that no man is an island. "Are you okay?" one boy asked when he saw me watching the kids at my school playing in the playground. He was wearing our school uniform that looked cute in him. "You look lonely. Don't you want to play with the kids?"I furrowed my eyebrows and scanned his body up and down while sitting on the bench. "Do I know you?" I asked boredly, having no idea why he was approaching me. "How come that you don't know me? I'm your classmate," he said and chuckled. "You know what, maybe our classmates are saying the truth. You are very distant and mean.""I don't know why you have to nose your business with me.""I just want t
"Shit! Fucking shit! How do I fucking do this shit?""Anong ginagawa mo?" rinig kong tanong ni Irise sa aking likod."Wait lang, Irise. Baka hindi ko mapantaya-- FUCK!"Kung may mas mailalakas pa sa pagmumura ko, iyon na ang malakas na halakhak ni Irise. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin mula sa salamin, pero hindi siya natigil sa paghahampas sa akin habang natatawa. "Tigilan mo nga ako, Irise!" naiinis na sambit ko at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa, ngayon ay sinusubukan ulit makapokus. Humalukipkip naman siya. "Bakit ka ba kasi nag-e-eyeliner? Sampung minuto ka nang nasa labas ng kwarto natin. Akala ko kung ano nang ginagawa mo, pero nakaharap ka lang pala sa salamin!"Kung maputi lang ako, baka sa pag-init ng aking mga pisngi ay namula na ako sa pagkapahiya. Gusto kong maapektuhan sa tanong ni Irise, pero binalewala ko lang ang katotohanan sa magiging sagot ko. "Wala lang. Sayang kasi ang eyeliner na nabili ko sa SM noon, so... ano... nagta-try lang," rason ko.She snorted. "Hmmm... talaga lan
"Wow, congratulations, Jill! Highest ka sa reporting, ah?" komento ng isang kaklase ko nang magsabay kami sa paglalakad sa kalsada. "Ang galing mo rin kasing mag-English. Nakakadugo sa ilong, alam mo iyon?"Tinawanan ko lang siya. "Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit sa English ko pa kung pwede naman sa delivery of speech, ate," aniko. "Pero thank you po!"Hoooo, nakakapagod kahit isang klase lang ngayong hapon. Marami kasing tanong ang instructor namin sa MSTE-1 tungkol sa topic ng reporting ko, at dahil ayokong mapahiya ay sinagutan ko lahat ng iyon kagaya ng pinag-aralan ko kagabi. I have always been competitive when it comes to academics without creating competitions against anyone. Gusto ko lang na mataas ang grades ko at malayo sa posibilidad na bumagsak ako. Nasa college na ako, kaya kailangan kong pagbutihan, lalo na at kasali ako sa scholarship program ng Cornelia Foundation College. Kumaway ako sa kaklase ko sa second year na pumunta sa waiting shed kung saan ang bus stop. Ako
I grew up as an obedient girl until I became a teenager who is known to be cool and silent to many. I have struggles when I communicate with other people since I am not immune to any forms of socializing. Maybe because I never really understood the concepts of camaraderies and friendships. For me, I am content to be alone, even if there is a saying that no man is an island. "Are you okay?" one boy asked when he saw me watching the kids at my school playing in the playground. He was wearing our school uniform that looked cute in him. "You look lonely. Don't you want to play with the kids?"I furrowed my eyebrows and scanned his body up and down while sitting on the bench. "Do I know you?" I asked boredly, having no idea why he was approaching me. "How come that you don't know me? I'm your classmate," he said and chuckled. "You know what, maybe our classmates are saying the truth. You are very distant and mean.""I don't know why you have to nose your business with me.""I just want t
Maybe it was the fact that I was bothered what happened last night that I was spacing out when I went to the office the next day of work. “Secretary Castro? Are you okay?” an employee asked me when she approached me. “The paperworks you are holding are being blown away from your table.”“Huh?” I said and turned my head to the direction of my cubicle. My eyes widened when I saw that my papers are being blown away from my table that is caused by the huge air conditioner’s fan. It made me curse and ran towards it. “Shit!”The employee also lurched forward to help me get them. She kept raining me with questions if I am okay, or why I have not noticed my paperwork. I just kept nodding because I just want everything to be organized, and yet I a messing it all up. “What about your coffee, ma’am?” the female employee asked me again innocently.“Fuck…” I murmured and dropped all of the paperwork on my table. “Why is my day doing this to me?”Without wasting time, I approached the coffee mach
"Wow, congratulations, Jill! Highest ka sa reporting, ah?" komento ng isang kaklase ko nang magsabay kami sa paglalakad sa kalsada. "Ang galing mo rin kasing mag-English. Nakakadugo sa ilong, alam mo iyon?"Tinawanan ko lang siya. "Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit sa English ko pa kung pwede naman sa delivery of speech, ate," aniko. "Pero thank you po!"Hoooo, nakakapagod kahit isang klase lang ngayong hapon. Marami kasing tanong ang instructor namin sa MSTE-1 tungkol sa topic ng reporting ko, at dahil ayokong mapahiya ay sinagutan ko lahat ng iyon kagaya ng pinag-aralan ko kagabi. I have always been competitive when it comes to academics without creating competitions against anyone. Gusto ko lang na mataas ang grades ko at malayo sa posibilidad na bumagsak ako. Nasa college na ako, kaya kailangan kong pagbutihan, lalo na at kasali ako sa scholarship program ng Cornelia Foundation College. Kumaway ako sa kaklase ko sa second year na pumunta sa waiting shed kung saan ang bus stop. Ako
I don’t know if I am just being paranoid that I keep noticing the vice chairman slowly having a fondness in hanging out with me. He would just casually arrive in front of my apartment, because he would like to watch movies and cook meals in the kitchen. And even if I am working late at night in front of my laptop, I could see him falling asleep on my sofa while hugging my squared pillow.“Want some coffee?”I looked up and saw Darwin who is placing a hot mug that contained black coffee just beside my laptop. I hung my jaw and looked around in the lobby, discerning if some employees are watching us, and thankfully, they are busy.“Mr. Montenegro,” I called him with almost shutting my eyes in fluster when I turned to him. “You have to understand that you are not supposed to do this.”He frowned and sighed boredly. “Let me guess; because you are my secretary and it is not my job to serve you on the other hand,” he said and crossed his arms. “But this does not concern anyone, Jill. You ar