122 No Future

Becca.

Weird enough is the fact that I could not really say the exact reason I was crying.

Do I regret what happened? Unfortunately no, despite how it turned out, there is no part of me that regretted the beautiful moment we just shared. It has always been obvious we have a hotness for each other and would one day end up together on the same bed as lovers.

Do I want it to happen again? Yes. No. I don’t know. This is where it gets so dicey and I could feel the tears coming up again. I can’t imagine not having access to such a beautiful moment again. The thought of not being able to touch him and repeat any of those things got me so teary eyed I wished I could raise my voice and bawl aloud like an animal in pain.

This is so heartless and wicked. Why? Why will fate make me fall for such a man when he knows it won’t last?

Why does he seem as if I am not lucky and destined for love and companionship?

For seven years, seven good years I have been celibate. No, scrap that! It’s my whole life