I use my fork to move the food around the plate, so I can create the illusion that I'm eating when I haven't had a single bite. I know it's bad. My mother always taught me to never play with food, it's disrespectful. I'm aware of all this, but whenever I'm surrounded by the Puglias, I lose my appetite. It isn’t my fault, it just happens. And it has been this way since I got here, and I don't think this feeling will ever pass. It’s the disgust that I have for Giotto, and while I hate him and wish him ill, I’ll never be able to sit at his table, and eat his food. Everyone's silent. If Giotto doesn't say anything, then no none will. Gustavo takes a few bites of his food, but he never eats much either. I guess we're both in the same boat. We're both here out of better options. It’s good to have someone to have something in common with. Rather, it justifies my feelings. For if his son hates him, how can’t I?Giotto looks up and clears his throat, "I have an announcement to make. Tomorrow
He starts to say, "Chiara-" but I don't know what takes over me. I slap him right across the face without letting him finish his sentence. He doesn't look stunned at my violence. In fact, he doesn't react to my slap at all. He just barges into the room, and closes the door. He points me, "That was entirely unnecessary.""What are you doing here?" I say, trying to keep my voice down. "After all this time, you have the audacity to come here and have me act as if nothing happened?"He looks genuinely confused. "Did you expect me to leave you here for all of eternity? In any case, I'm not here to get you. I'm just here to check up on you."I scoff. "You shouldn't have bothered, Enzo. I'm doing just fine without you, living under the same roof with the man who killed my family!" He places a finger over my lip. "Are you trying to get yourself killed!? And don't look at me with so much accusation, girasole. I did this to protect you."I feel like crying. I'm so angry that I could scratch hi
Dinner with Gustavo was everything I expected it to be. His witty character always entertains me, and Enzo’s scene is forgotten as the night progresses. He tells me stories about his past, how he grew up as a child. His mother was still alive, and Antonia wasn't such a brat, which makes me think that perhaps, she isn't as young as I presumed. If Gustavo is around thirty, then she must be twenty-five at least, which means she's older than me. It's been a while since I've enjoyed a meal and I'm very grateful for his presence. Without him, I don't know what would become of me. He insisted that I have a starter, a main course, and then dessert. Everything was delicious, from the fried courgette salad to the tiramisu. I savored every bite. When it was time to leave, I felt sorry. Having to return to the Puglia home is the worst feeling ever. I wish this night would never end, but like all good things, it does. I'm forced to think of everything Enzo has said and done tonight as we near t
"You look absolutely beautiful, by the way,” Gustavo says to me on our way down the stairs.I flash him a small smile. "Thank you for the compliment." Even though I accepted his invitation to be his company for the evening, I'm not pleased with this. How can I, when I'll have to be around Giotto? He's the bane of my existence. I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to see his ridiculous face tonight, but he made sure that I should. Perhaps he knew what we were both up to. The guests are laughing and in one large group when we finally get to the living area. Giotto is amongst them, and Natalia is by his side. Unabashedly. As we near the group, a man who notices us clears his throat suggestively, and everyone turns to stare at us. I pause, but Gustavo drags me along. We join the circle and I end up standing beside the man who cleared his throat. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't acknowledge him. He says, "And who might this be?" "Is she your girlfriend, Gustavo?" A woman across us a
I pace around my bedroom, fuming.I wish I could wrap my hands around that spoiled brat's neck. She really thinks the world revolves around her. I'm so angry that I could spontaneously combust. She deliberately made me look weak and clumsy. I'll get her back for this. One way or another. It’s not that I’m bothered that I fell in front of all those people, who know the worst about me. It’s that she thinks that she can get away with anything because she’s Giotto’s daughter. It’s disgusting to me how someone can be so immature, and senseless. Gustavo s watching me with his arms crossed. "You're going to wear a hole in the carpet. Just calm down.""Your sister is a bitch!""I know."I stop and run my hands through my hair. I want to say more, a lot more, but I bite my tongue. Despite everything, she's still his sister. Also, I should say all this to her face, not to him. He doesn't deserve my anger. Although I am upset that he didn't tell me about my grandfather's attacks. "I'm sorry,"
We get to a new place. I assumed we would be going back to his house, but I was wrong. Enzo parks the car in front of a small apartment building. He takes the suitcase out of the car and drags it inside. I walk a short distance behind him. He's in one of those dark moods again, I'm not 100% sure why. After he threw the present that Gustavo gave me out the window, we rode in absolute silence. I was seething—of course I was. He had no right to act so irrationally and throw away something that was mine. And him asking whether I was having sex with him was grotesquely out of line. I was there a week, what made him assume that I would do such a thing? He must have a very low opinion of me and that hurts, I won't lie to myself. It shouldn't, but it does. He’s disrespectful, and I’ve had enough of it. A few men at the reception greet him. They don't look like porters, they look like gangsters. They're wearing suits. He doesn't answer them, but they don't seem to mind either. They're on t
Enzo leaves in the morning, but he leaves me a message. I can take one of his capos—strange, because he's a capo himself—to take me out. He's even left a card for me to use. Now, I don't intend on using it, but it will be great to go out into the world and see people. I've been trapped, caged, for too long.I get ready, and I make an effort. I dress into something comfortable, but presentable. When I walk out of the room, there's a man in the living room. He's one of the men I saw yesterday in the reception. He introduces himself, "Good morning, miss. I'm Vito. Enzo has asked me to accompany you to the city. When do we leave?"I get in the backseat of his car. I take in all the sights around me, not only because they are remarkable, but because I'm trying to find out where the hell I am. Maybe there'll be a name somewhere, but I don't recognize any of the neighborhoods. Or street names. This mall is different from the one I was at with Enzo, so is this another city? Another part of t
I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't think.Some days, I'm convinced that I truly saw my sister, that the whole encounter wasn't just a figment of my desperate imagination. Other days, I think I'm going crazy. There's no way my sister—my Lia—would've looked at me so coldly. Is she mad at me, wherever she is? That I, who never cared about the beauty of life, got to survive and she didn't? She had so many aspirations, a desperate will to live. And Giotto crushed it beneath his expensive designer shoe. It’s unfair, and I’ll never stop thinking this way. The pain will never go away. I might lock it away some days, but it will always come back to haunt me. Enzo leans against the doorframe and watches me. I pull the covers up to my face. If he's looking for something to fight about, I'm not up for it today. He clears his throat and says, "There's dinner in the kitchen.""I'm not hungry."After a few seconds, he rips the duvet from the bed. I sit up and sigh in frustration. "What's the mat