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Forty six

Hazel.

Maybe I was too harsh on him. Maybe I shouldn't have grilled him like that. Deep down, he probably did it to keep me safe, but I can't shake the feeling that it was all about his selfish interest.

I'm mad at both Andrey and Chris, but I'm not taking sides, especially not Chris. Andrey threatened someone's life, and Chris took advantage of me. For what? Love? I can't even say that. They're both toxic.

It scares me how obsessed Andrey is with me. I worry at some point, he might hurt me if I turn him down. But then again, he'd never do that. He loves me, whether I stay with him or not. He just wants what's best for me. I realize my reaction this morning was unnecessary. Maybe it's because Andrey made a scene when he saw me with Chris, or maybe I was just mad because he scared Chris off. But shouldn't I be thanking him?

I sigh as I toss and turn in bed, hugging a pillow. When I really think about it, it's not all Andrey's fault. Chris took Andrey's money and ran. He would've
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