I drag my eyes away Max as he takes the nice black plates with a nice white print design on them to the dining area. Shit, I’m nervous about tonight going well. I want so badly to just have sex but there is also fun in making Max wait until we are married. I also realize Max and I have never truly been alone in private before in such an intimate setting. There’s also this pressure to have things go right. I don’t want to fuck anything up with Max. My future happiness rides on how this all goes. My heart swoons after Max, however, my brain is skeptical of Max. My heart trusts Max, it believes him, and it longs for him in ways that sometimes hurt in the best ways possible. My brain wants to believe it’s all a ruse Max is painting so he can do what he wants in the shadows with his Mona. I hate being this jealous and petty, but that bitch somehow brings out my worst traits and in the most horrible ways. Mona has felt like this shadow that hangs over our marriage. Even though Max has made
Last night with Max was amazing and we didn’t even have sex. Although, we did have plenty of touching and kissing. I wanted so badly to do everything with Max in one night but I just couldn’t bring myself to jump in full force. I don’t know if it was first time jitters of being with a man as well as the fear of not messing anything up with Max. I don’t know why I feel all this pressure now that I know he actually wants me. I hate to admit it but it’s possible that in thinking Max only wanted Mona it somehow took the pressure off me to be his perfect bride since I didn’t think I was the person he wanted. Now, I know I’m the only one he wants and I don’t want to disappoint him. I want to be pissed at him for Mona, and there are doubts that she is more important to him than he lets on. I want to give in to those fears because I can hide behind them. Hiding behind my fears of Mona and Max being in love means I don’t have to try with Max. It took the pressure off. Now Mona is history and
My house is filled with boxes. I did not realize that amount of shit Toni has. She lives in a two bedroom apartment. Then again, their apartment is pretty big. Still, I underestimated that amount of things Toni would bring with her. I don’t actually care, but I do wish the boxes would disappear sooner rather than later. I’m not overly a fan of clutter. Most of it is kitchen gadgets, girl nonsense for various rooms especially the bathroom, dozens of cook books, and tons of fucking candles. I knew the woman liked candles and cook books, but I didn’t think she fucking had a treasure trove of the shit. Despite the house being in chaos, I am happy that Toni is here and making herself at home. I wanted her to make this her home as much as it is mine, so for her to embrace it makes me happy and less worried. I was worried she would hesitate or worse back out of moving in altogether. I know after the wedding she has no choice. Her parents wouldn’t let her stay with her friends after we are m
“No, you are not the villain in my story. Not since you got rid of Mona, at least. When I thought you wanted her more than me, it made me want to hate you.” She confesses as she attempts to relax her body. I close the distance between us as I pull her to me. I secure her wrists behind her back with one of my hands. My other hand grips her chin roughly. “There was never anything between us. I used to picture I was fucking you instead,” I say in her ear, letting my words vibrate in her brain in hopes she will finally accept she is the one I fucking want. “I should not find that hot, but maybe I do just a little,” confesses with a brief pause. “I can’t say I never pictured that it was you touching me instead.” Toni purrs back. “I thought you said you were untouched?” I growl, upset she would lie about that. I don’t care if she did fool around, but why would she lie about it? I don’t like lies.“I said I was untouched by a man, therefore I did not lie. Max, I’m bisexual. I had my own f
“Ready to be mine, Princess?” I inquire, leaning into her as my one hand grips her chin making her look me in the eyes. Her eyes glazed over from the pleasure I just gave her gaze at me. “More than ready, Czar.” She purrs as I adjust her position so we can be more comfortable while we fuck. “Rough and hard, Princess?” I ask as I nudge her entrance with the tip of my cock. “Of course, Czar. Like we know another way.” She teases, leaning her face closer to mine as I slowly push inside of her. “You’re right, we will never be gentle.” I confirm, as I roughly push past her barrier while my lips devour hers. I begin to move in and out of her at a rapid pace. Every time I slam into her I do it has rough and hard as possible to the point where her head is hitting the cabinets just enough to rattle them lightly. I nip at her lips through our kisses as we both get lost in the passion and desire that has exploded between us. Fuck, Toni feels amazing and finally fucking her is a devine as I
I almost don’t recognize myself in the mirror in the beautiful, elegant wedding dress. I chose a satin Ivory off the shoulder princess silhouette. The back of the dress has pearl buttons that close the dress. All my jewelry is gold with pearls. Even my taira which my mom said is a tradition that she is starting since she wore one for her wedding. I appeased her because I do like the idea of a tradition and so did Angie. I don’t mind partaking in a wedding tradition. I did opt for no vail. It’s overrated in my opinion. Lucy, Roxy, and Angie are my bridesmaids. They will be wearing off the shoulder A-line dresses in a pretty dusty pink color. I’ve picked out their pearl jewelry to be similar to mine. I’ve gone for a vintage like vibe for the wedding. My mom has a darker rose pink dress with pearl detailing for her dress. Today is the final fitting for all of us as the wedding is officially five days away, and I’m only slightly freaking out. My fears aren’t with the wedding itself. I k
It’s the night of our rehearsal dinner. I can’t believe Toni will finally and officially be my wife tomorrow. Our wedding has been in the making for years so for it all to actually be happening is a relief. Our whole wedding is to soldify the Russian and Italian-Irish alliance. While everyone has honnored the alliance the alliance won’t be a hundred percent binding until Toni and I are married. A lot of people have been anticipating our wedding because it means peace will always remain between the alliance. Essentially, neither side will be able to back out, and while neither side has never once mentioned backing out it was still an option that hung overone’s head like guillotine. So, here we are at the rehearsal dinner celebrating the marriage and alliance on the roof top of the casino. Toni is currently mingling with our guests as her mom guides her. Being a mafia wife isn’t easy, but being a mafia wife to the head leader is an entire role in itself. Being my wife is like being a p
Walking onto the dance floor to have my first dance with Max as man and wife feels pretty amazing. We are finally married and the alliance is as official as it gets. Dancing with Max we stay silent completely lost in each other’s eyes. Somehow I’ve found a way to let my walls down with Max. My walls aren’t completely down but Max is slowly breaking his way past the walls into my heart. When Mona crashed our rehearsal dinner last night, I was so upset. The worst thoughts went through my head and all my fears began to rear their ugly heads. Then I locked eyes with Max and that was the moment my fears melted away. We were united and it felt good. It felt right. It also felt good to rip into Mona. I can’t believe the audacity and I’m also worried she might actually be crazy. It doesn’t matter because Max is mine and I am his. “You look stunningly beautiful, Princess.” Max compliments as he slowly twirls me around the dance floor. “Thank you, Czar. You are looking incredibly handsome yo
I’m glad to finally be done with my shift at the diner. These late night shifts kill me, but I work during the day at the daycare my mom now manages. She used to run a babysitting gig in our house when I was younger, but as my mom got older she struggled to keep up with the smaller kids. Inevitably, with her bad back it made sense for her to stop running the babysitting gig. So, she ended up getting a manager position at one of the local daycares. She has so much experience and wisdom to give to the center. I ended up getting a job there when I turned eighteen as well as at the diner. I had to wait until I was eighteen and graduated highschool to get a job so I took two. I have a lot to catch up on since my mom insisted that I wasn’t allowed to work while in highschool. It was supposed to be her way of keeping me focused on school to be an A plus student. Isolating only made things worse for my socially at school, but I was raised to be a good girl and listen to her parents. Now, I’
There’s the hunter and the prey. I’m the prey that became the hunter. I started off as the prey to my stepfather. I was ten when he started sexually molesting me.There is something unique in losing your childhood innocence too early. It creates this unhinged need to protect your soul. Forget your heart because the trauma inflicted on you destroyed it along with your brain, whose chemistry will be forever changed from the horror you were forced to endure. I was thirteen when I was finally able to escape the perfect cage that was created to keep me nothing more than helpless prey. I was liberated by a neighbor named Dale who took my tales of what my stepfather was doing to me seriously. Unfortunately for me, I was a troublemaker as a kid. My father got locked up in prison when I was three for a cyber crime and by the time I was six, my mom had married my step dad who worked at one of the local factories making good money. My mom was never focused on me. She cared more about her career
Max and I have been married for a little over five years now. We have two sons who are Irish Twins because they are born less than twelve months apart. After my miscarriage, I was so devastated. Thankfully, I had an amazing support system that came around me. I was so angry at myself because I was focused on getting pregnant because that’s where I thought my issues lied. I was wrong, but thankfully with my mom on top of everything we quickly resolved the issue. When I got pregnant a couple months later with Misha, I was a wreck of emotions from happy to full on anxiety of losing the pregnancy. With careful monitoring from my doctors I carried to thirty eight weeks and gave birth to Misha Anthony and then about when he was about two and half months old I found I was pregnant with our second son Dimitiris Nico. I thought it was a fucking joke when I got pregnant with Dimitris. It was not a joke, and I was very glad to have not only Max to help me, but Nat as well. Nat has turned out to
It’s been about six months since we officially took Chatworth down. The media ate up his suicide. It was a satisfying victory and with our revenge satiated Toni and I focused on starting our family. We had a good surprise about four months ago. Toni got pregnant with what felt like so easy, considering we were expecting a battle to even get pregnant. Turns out that getting pregnant wasn’t the issue Toni was going to face, but her challenge comes with keeping the pregnancy. In the wake of her miscarriage, I felt fairly helpless to help her, which is why I was thankful for Nat living with us because she help me care for Toni after her procedure. Toni was only nine weeks old, but she needed a procedure to clear out the failed pregnancy. Violetta, Lucy, and Roxy have been helpful with Toni’s recovery. With testing they were able to figure out that Toni needs progesterone supplements during her first trimester minimum possibly the whole pregnancy. At least we have an answer, but even then
This is a surreal moment in time. Max sent proof of my father’s dead body a mer minutes ago and I’m still staring at the picture with a bag of mixed emotions. Relief is the biggest emotion coursing through me. My whole life my father has forced his control over my life. I’ve never even known what it was like to embrace my own self because I had to bury it deep down to survive. When my father sent me to cozy up to Max, he was supposed to be just a target. A means to end. My father was promising me freedom, but I know now it was all a lie of manipulation. I don’t know the full story behind my father and Misha, but they were friends at some point. Then one day they become more enemies. I’m sure it was my father who did something he shouldn’t have against Misha. The first moment I saw Max, I was attracted to him and it made sex easier. It’s hard to have sex with someone you don’t find attractive. I ended up keeping coconut oil or unscented lube to make myself easily wet so the men I was
“Good morning, Toni.” Nat greets. We decided to only use our nicknames when we are playing. Except for Max and I because we are married and clearly in a romantic relationship. “Morning, Nat.” I reply, flipping the french toast. “Is that French Toast?” Nat questions with a smile as she walks over to where I’m cooking on my built in skillet that is next to the stove. “It is. You earned it.” I wink at her. I told her last night that her reward for pleasing us like a good girl that I’d make her favorite breakfast. She earned it all right. “Good because I was really hoping I’d wake up to it.” She says as she moves over to make herself a cup of coffee. I giggle at her as Max walks freshly showered from his work out. He strides over to me and kisses me on the lips. “Morning, Princess.” He says breaking our kiss. He glances over at Nat. “Morning, Nat.” “Morning, Czar,” I reply, flipping a couple of pieces that need it. “Morning, Max. So, is today the day you think?” She questions as sh
It’s been a couple of weeks since Natalia essentially moved in with us. She is staying in one of the spare rooms. Our house has six bedrooms, and while I do want kids, I do not want more than two. Maybe three, but that’s my limit. Of course, all of that depends on how easy it is for me to get pregnant. Although, I’m glad I have the option to even try. As a woman, I’m outraged at what Chatworth did to Natalia. He had no right to take her womb for her. He stole her chance to be a mom and he did it in such a dirty way too. However, Natalia is at peace with the fact that she can’t have children. That doesn’t mean I won’t make sure Chatwroth doesn’t pay for his crime. No one has the right to make that choice for someone else.Natalia picked the room she wanted. I made sure she got a new wardrobe and she was happy to get a new one. Turns out, Natalia isn’t terrible in her taste in clothes, but clearly her father is. She’s also a pretty nice house guest or she might be trying to kiss my ass
“Alright, Czar, what is going on?” Toni demands when she stops in front of me. “Mona asked me not to kill her, and I realized I can’t be her executioner.” I confess. “Why the fuck not, Max?” Toni aggressively questions, tossing her one hand on her hip. “Do you love her?” “What? No! It’s not like that at all. I promise you, Antonia, you are the only I love. I care about her. I hate to admit it, but I did get to know her a bit over the two years. It just happened naturally in platonic friendship way. That’s the best I can explain it. I hate myself for even saying these words to you, Princess. When I told you she meant nothing before we got married, I meant it. I truly believed it until I was faced with holding her life in my hands. I’m so sorry, I’m sure you feel betrayed and I wouldn’t blame you if you did. However, I promised I’d be honest with you, so that’s what I’m doing.” I honestly explain, hoping we can somehow work past this. Toni’s demeanor softens and the hand that was on
I can’t believe Mona is between Leo and I as we ride to stash house, and it’s the type that houses drugs. No, we have integration stash houses that we take people to integrate them. Some make it out alive, and others not so much. It’s not surprising Mona went after Toni since she’s looked at Toni as her enemy since day one. Toni is of course well trained in defending herself, it makes sense given who her parents are, but especially her bio dad, Anthony. Those two are some dark horses. Sometimes I think Toni is more morally grey than me and that just only makes her hotter. In all our scheming to take Chatworth down we never really discussed what to do about Mona. In the end she wasn’t the enemy that threatened us the most. She has always been this weird side show on her own. I spent two years fucking her, and while I never developed romantic feelings for her, I hate to say it but I got a soft spot for her. Maybe it’s because I saw the vulnerable side of her that no one else did. Mona