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Being with Lucien was an intense experience. He would come to me at night, carrying the fragrance of drink and expensive cologne of maleness and musk. Sweeping me into his arms, sometimes kicking the front door shut in his impatience to take me, we would indulge in a frenzy of passionate coupling as though we had not seen each other for years. It would continue till the wee hours of the morning when he would leave, dropping a kiss on my exhausted face. Sore and tender, I would wake the next morning, deluding myself into believing that this was love. I would head to college unless he left a message asking me to stay home and wait for him.Yes, he ran my life for me but I never felt the need to protest; I loved him devotedly, and wholeheartedly.I never imagined for a minute, that it was not reciprocated.**It was almost a year of our being together and I wanted to do something special to celebrate. Lucien had been busy and apart from seeing him when he visited me, I barely knew what w
Soon, I turned nineteen. There had been moments when I had wanted to shyly mention that to Lucien. But each time, he had seemed impatient to get away quickly once his powerful sexual urges had been satisfied. My poor proud heart could not stop him. My body could only hold him captive for a few hours...Later in my life, while I was living in the hills of Bhutan, I often asked myself why I had continued to live with him for so long; almost for a year and a half.It was a chance reading of an article in a magazine that a friend had kindly lent me, when I was in the mountains, that opened my eyes to the reality I had refused to see in my youthful madness.The author, a well-renowned psychologist, explained how every girl, every woman has a secret fascination for the Bad Boy and likes to believe that it is in her destiny to make him a Good man!Years later, as I sat there amidst the silence of nature, I saw things as they had been with razor-sharp, brutal clarity. In my foolishness, I had
A few weeks later one afternoon, I was sitting in my bedroom. It was definitely a woman's room, with solid but pretty lined drapes in a shade of peach which suited the décor of the room. The enormous bed dominated the room. A small table cluttered with my books and laptop were my sole contributions to the room, particularly since I had discovered that it was a common house for Lucien's women.I often wondered why I kept waiting and hoping that I would be the one to change Lucien Delano; but they say love is blind, don't they?That belief, and my love for him, were the things that made me continue to stay although I felt humiliated and simply fed-up at times.*In my yoga pants and an old sweatshirt, I leaned against the pillows, trying to work on my assignments which were hugely behind schedule.It was only when I heard Lucien roaring from downstairs that I caught on that he had come.Even before I had time to scramble to my feet, the door flew open and he stood there, massive and glo
This was the first time Lucien had deigned to take me out, and I was excited. Smiling happily, I slid into the back seat of the luxurious car and sighed, leaning back against the expensive upholstery and inhaling the fragrance of Lucien's familiar cologne and cigars. And of course, his whiskey!Suddenly I remembered that I had not seen Jamie; turning around in my seat, I frowned in puzzlement.A new bodyguard, a young man with a scarred face and a small ponytail, stood outside the house."What's wrong?" asked Lucien brusquely.Still a little bemused, I turned to him and asked,"Where's Jamie? I didn't see him.'Lucien's face tightened, and he glared at me coldly."Why do you want to know where Jamie is?" he asked in an icy voice, and I shrank back in fear.Leaning a little closer and lowering his voice, he reached out and grasped my wrist, twisting it painfully, and growled."You belong to me, do you understand, little girl? He won't be working here anymore.'Uncomprehending, I stared
He did not turn up after that.I waited, for a week, then another week.But the memory of how he had treated me held me back. Lucien did not like me calling him up either; in fact, he had expressly forbidden me to do so. He had told me that if I needed to contact him, it was only through the man who was stationed at the house I lived in. That was the main reason for the presence of the bodyguard, he had said.I realized that I had been so very obedient and completely trusting, I did not even have a contact number to call him directly at. Loathe to ask the new man who had introduced himself as Perry White, about Lucien's whereabouts, I went about my routine of attending classes and coming home as usual.But when I was alone in the house, with Ana clattering about in the kitchen, preparing dinner before she left, I would sit on the bed, my books around me. Staring unseeingly out through the window, I began to see the situation for what it was, a fairy tale in my eyes - that was all it h
I sat there with my friends watching over me as the tears flowed down my cheeks, unchecked.Finally, I composed myself enough to stand up, pick up my book bag and give them a brave smile.'Kid, do you want to stay over at our place? 'asked Tanya anxiously, worrying her lip as she looked at me, concern writ large on her pretty face. Rachel stood too, frowning, ready to take up cudgels on my behalf.Smiling through my tears, I shook my head. I know very well that Lucien would be furious if I stayed over with them. And the last thing I wanted was to face his wrath. I was too broken, although I put on a brave face before the girls, who were upset to see how affected I was.'I'm good!'I smiled and hugged them briefly, then I walked out, my heart***That night, I could not sleep. I kept reading and rereading the news item. The photo showed Lucien and a woman, considerably older than me, a silver blonde, tall and willowy. pretty in a vague sort of way, I thought cattily. Almost flat-chested
When I stood before the mirror in the large, spacious bathroom, I could see that my stomach was still firm, and there was no outward indication of the change in my body. which was good, I thought grimly.I looked around me again—at the little house where we had spent so many hours in love.I had blissfully imagined it to be ours, a love nest, but now I saw it for what it was, the way the world looked at it: a House to Keep a Mistress.to be vacated when the next one turned up.Sinking to the floor wearily, I asked myself, "Had it ever been love?"Lucien had never once told me that he loved me.Even in the heat of our lovemaking, a part of him was always in control. Even when his pale eyes glittered in lust, he was able to be in charge, while I must have said that I loved him a million times!The brutal truth was staring me in the face now, and I knew I had no options left.For the Mafia Don, my lover, I was just a woman who had taken his fancy for some obscure reason.The spring and w
Like a druggie who needed her fix, I needed to see Lucien Delano, my lover, to hold him, to feel his strength one last time.And so I found myself back at the club where it had all begun.My shadow, the burly, unpleasant White, had murmured his misgivings, but I had insisted coolly and he had had no choice but to take me to the gentlemen's club where I had first met Gaston. He had appeared taken aback when I frowned at him and put my foot down, demanding that he drive me to the club."If you don't take me," I said firmly, glaring at him, "I shall simply take a cab." Breathing heavily, my face hot with anger, I went on calmly."You can't stop me.'It was probably the first time I had opened my mouth to confront him, and his jaw dropped. Ana the cook, turned and stared at me, disbelief etched on her otherwise sneering face.With a toss of my head, I marched out, my overly large jacket flapping in the wind as I went to the gates, determined to leave.I had also calculated that White woul