Chapter 48: You Are Not My Alpha

As we drove back, Arthur was kind enough to remove the ropes from my wrists. As he did, I wondered, was Arthur good for me or did he hurt me too much? Were his erratic spurts of interest worth the stinging agony when he turned his back on me over and over?

Never had anyone forced me to contend with so many competing emotions at once. Fear and pleasure, pain and...love. But would I have been better off if I'd never known it?

If I had never met him, I’d be free from repeated hot and cold treatment. Then again, I'd never know what it was like to creep out of the cold recesses of my existence and be thawed by the burning, brilliant sun. But were those warm times enough to push me through the pain of having to freeze again?

The thing is, each time he was kind, it made me closer to him and each time he let me down, it hurt more. But I was expecting both now. Did that put me in a better position?

I had to admit to myself that there were times I was dying for those moments