SIENNAI held my breath for a minute longer and this time without Sylvester's help. Who would have imagined that I could learn something new? Slowly, I began to flap both of my legs, just like he taught me and I stretched my arms forward as I began to swim. It felt exciting and exhilarating and I couldn't even begin to understand why I was scared in the first place. By the time I emerged back up, my chest heaved up and down as I tried to catch my breath. I ran my hand over my face and shifted my damp hair away from my eyes. My eyes met Sylvester’s, who was standing at the edge of the pool. I didn’t even know how long he had been standing there. His eyes glistened with pride as he looked at me. “I knew you could do it,” he said, making his way towards me. His smile always had a way of affecting me in a way that I didn’t understand, and I couldn't even think straight. It had its way of disconcerting me also. “Are you okay?” he asked as he got closer to me. I wanted to give a reason
SIENNA The aroma that wafted up into the air made my tummy rumble instantly with hunger. I guess he wasn't joking when he said that he could cook. As if he could sense that I was looking at him, he turned around to face me immediately. Our eyes met and held and my lips tilted up in a small smile. I was content with looking at him forever. “I'm sure you must be hungry now”he said and I nodded. I listened to him chatter excitedly about how he was always delighted to prepare dinner with his mother in the kitchen while she was alive. The spark in his eyes was impossible to miss when he talked about his family. I wondered what it must have been like for him, growing up and feeling so alone. It was even worse because he didn't have any siblings but I guess I could relate to it. Not completely, but at least to a certain degree. My dad always tried to make time for me, no matter what happened and yet it was still never enough. Sometimes I felt like he had an obligation to the pack than he
SIENNAI stretched luxuriously on the big bed and froze when I hit something hard. My breath caught in my throat and the smile disappeared from my face Instantly. My eyes fluttered open immediately and I looked at Sylvester who laid down next to me. I took note of his bare torso as he slept. My heart pounded frantically within my chest as I looked down at myself and I released a sigh of relief when I discovered that I was still wearing clothes.I knew he wouldn't take advantage of me. It was not just something that he would do but it was myself that I didn't trust. Due to the effects of the alcohol, I might have come off strong last night. And even if he wouldn't want to cross boundaries, I could be persistent, especially when I was under the influence of alcohol and that part of myself scared me. I searched the bed for my phone but couldn't find it. I must have dropped it somewhere. I noticed how his hand went around my waist and held me to him in a protective way. I couldn't help t
SIENNA I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to feel as I drove back home. I could forget the victory that flashed through Tamara's eyes as I stormed past him and headed out of the house. My hands trembled on the steering wheel and all I could do was blame myself for being all shades of stupid. I didn’t know what I was thinking? I didn’t know how I could push myself into thinking that he was going to me over Tamara. The people that I love never really got to choose me. I was always an option, always got treated like an option. Even my father made the pack first and me an option. The only person who tried very hard not to make me an option was Hailey and she wasn't here. At this moment, I was beginning to feel so alone, I was beginning to feel so overwhelmed by my loneliness and when I couldn't see clearly because of the tears that blinded me, I had to park on the side of the road and I broke down completely in the car. I felt all shades of stupid and regrets, I wanted to sla
SIENNAMy fists ached. I was positive that my knuckles must have been bruised but regardless I still went on punching anyway. Training was the only thing that I ever really did to occupy myself these days. It was a kind of reprieve from the self hatred that I seemed to be drowning in. My chest heaved up and down heavily as I tried to catch my breath. Everything was exhausting and tiring. Dad wouldn't talk to me, Benjamin avoided me like the plague and the only thing that was normal was Clara's occasionally taunting and even at that, she was strangely being nice and accommodating. Maybe she could sense that I was going through more than enough fire now. We held a burial for the people that died. Some of the people in the pack looked at me differently and it was quite impossible to miss the accusation in their eyes. It was almost as if I was a traitor and in a way I was. They needed me and I had left them to fight alone. I had left them to fend for themselves. I wondered how they wou
SIENNAI don't know for how long I must have been asleep. I know that before I slept, I had panicked and I had bursted into tears again. Benjamin had insisted that I rest and I sleep for a while and I insisted that he stayed with me which he conceded too. I watched his sleeping face, I remembered bits and pieces of my mental breakdown before I slept. I couldn't remember what triggered me into panicking but I remember breaking down and Benjamin consoling me through it. As I stared at Benjamin's sleeping face. I was tempted to run my fingers softly against the side of his face. I was taken aback by the desire because I had no idea where it came from. The thought was sudden, unprovoked and I didn't know how I was supposed to react to it. I looked up at the clock and my eyes widened, I had no idea how much time had gone by. I immediately adjusted into a sitting position. I ignored how groggy and tired that I felt. “Are you okay?” Benjamin asked and I snapped my head towards his directio
SIENNAI was conflicted between feeling terrified and feeling calm. I didn’t know which was more cruel. That I would have to face the families who were mourning or I would have to witness the strong resentment that passed through their eyes as they looked at me. I closed my eyes and tried to drift my mind away from the panic that was welling up in my chest. There was certainly no way that I could tell my father no. There was also no way that I could set out to deliver these care packages without panic setting in. “What is it?” he asked and tilted his head slightly as he observed me.No matter how much he didn't like it, he was still the Alpha. He was still my father and I couldn’t deny him of his request. Not that it was even a request. It was more of an order than a request.I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't be able to do it. I wanted to beg him and tell him that he should look for another way to get the care packages. I would be able to take on any care packages but I knew it w
SIENNAMy palms were clammy with sweat as we headed over to from family to family with care packages in hand. I insisted that Benjamin didn't have to follow me to deliver them but he insisted, to my relief, because I wasn't so certain that I could have handled it on my own. Some families were not too receptive towards me. I had the door slammed in my face a couple of times, other times, I had the care packages tossed from my hand with them telling me how much of a disappointment I was to my father, and other times, they were surprisingly kind to me and accepted the care packages with gratitude. Benjamin was by my side through the whole encounter, so it made the entire thing bearable. After a while, I was finally done. I was relieved, the constriction in my chest loosened a little when I realized that it was finally over. “I guess it didn't go so bad,” Benjamin finally said after we delivered the final package, and when I shot him a look, my eyes were full of tears. “They hate me