The phone dangled in my hands as I dropped, picked it. Circular, diagonal, in a repetitive movement. The edge of the phone hit my hand, hurt it but I did not care. It didn’t hurt as my heart was hurting already. The way it skipped a beat, stopped, and skipped anther made me realize that I was indeed nervous for what I was about to do. I had used these same hands to text Adam to meet me in my room. If he was going to come, I had no idea. I just knew I had to set a straight line ahead of him, to stop him from following ne to the human world. It had only been ten minutes, and I was already second guessing my whole action before I had even started. I had no idea wanting to say something that was going to hurt someone I claimed I had no affection whatsoever was going to hurt this bad. I closed my eyes, my heart increased it tempo. After everything I was going to say to Adam, there was not going to be Lycan friends again. There was not going to be running into Remys hands to ask for favors
Fifty shades of grey was an example. Christian Grey’s love for Anna and the way it has developed to be something really strong. I wanted that. I wanted someone to look at me and not to be attracted to me because of a mate bond, but to be attracted to me because out of many other pearls in the bead, they wanted mine. I wanted someone to meet me in a library, and stare at me throughout the day, I wanted someone who was going to make me blush, ask me on a date, want to care about my favourite colours and my favorite books just because they cared that much about me. I did not just want to meet someone on a random day. The person I had no idea even existed before then coming into my life to tell me I was theirs to claim. Without even catering for my concept. I did not want that. Which was why I had been prepared all along. All through the way. I had made my plans. It was going to be only me, just me. Moving out the pack. Within any glimpse of werewolf in sight. Moving into somewhere I w
Heartbreak usually comes in different ways. Sometimes, it’s you holding your heart out as it is gushing out with hot tears that is as thick as blood. Sometimes, it is you hurting inside without having enough words to speak outside. All just because everything hurts inside. It was not merry. It was nothing too far, too close. But I just wanted to get away. I was not heartbroken. At least not yet, but I could not say the same for the man I was staring at. The same man I had been staring at for two minutes, which had felt like the first two hours of my first life. The bell was ringing hard and loud. The twinkle of my last words flying around me and Adam. And I was waiting, waiting for him to say something. But I knew I had to continue. I did not understand why I was stalling since this was what I wanted at the end of the day. But why did I feel like my heart was being shattered over and over again over something I had no control over. Adam had been staring at me like I was a statue. In
Although I was very sure dad was fast asleep and he never wakes up except if it is in the mornings. I was bragging hard already and I took my hard eyes to clash with Adam’s. He looked hurt. He was no longer staring hard at me. I knew he was hurt because of the way his face broke out. His forehead was wrinkled and he kept staring at me like he could not believe what I had just said. I wanted to nod at me that even I could not, but I didn’t. I just stared at him as he looked at me like someone he had never seen. Adam stood up, what I hated because he was already towering over me and he wasn’t even next to me yet.“Did you really just say that I could wake up one day and hurt you?” Adam was still standing far away from me but he was no longer being intentional with the way he was speaking to me. I knew that I was going to a place of no return. Whatever I was going to say this night, whatever was going to come out of my mouth at this very moment, I will not be able to reverse and help it.
I had always known the man counted me as something that had to look like the less privileged. I knew Adam always thought of me as beneath him. Who was to blame him though, why won’t he have thought about me like that. I was the only human in the pack, probably the only human he had ever met in his entire lifetime. And instead of this human to me licking his feet, I was on here, offending and opposing him, like the ungrateful human that I was. There was something the werewolf and the Lycan people didn’t understand. Just because they existed as werewolves did not mean that they were to get power over the humans, that did not mean they had to oppress we humans and hurt us, just because they are more powerful than us. The idea of everything seemed absurd. I had been standing exactly where I had been few minutes ago, the same place I had been when I had told Adam to get away from me, right after he had confessed his feelings, and made me feel beneath him for being human. Adam of course,
Since I was young, I had watched couple try to be witu each other despite the circumstances just because they are mates. Too many fight, a mate making a mistake and the partner always having to forgive all just because they were mates. It was annoying. I felt like as individuals, they could talk to one another and not just surround their forgiveness with the fact that they are mated to this person. The idea was sickening, it felt sickening in fact. I could not even picture myself forgiving someone for hurting me. It would be pathetic. It was a hard pill for Adam to swallow but he was acting pathetic, unlike the prince everyone was supposed to know. The hard prince, the hard minded man no one wanted to speak to all just because they were scared of him. Also the man everyone wanted to notice them all just because it willl change their life “Look at yourself Adam. Is this the side you want me to fall in love with? There is nothing to fall for here if you keep running and pacing to me
I always wondered what was inside Lana Del Rey’s mind whenever she sang. There was just something beautiful with the way the rhythm of her voice matches with every dynamic part of the music. I only ever listened when I wanted to relax, whenever I wanted to chill and not think of the sins that were awaiting me. That at least, is better than the sin that was awaiting me as I walked past my room and into the kitchen. Dad was a already there like I had predicted. His special pancakes arranged on top of a flat plate. I knew that if I hadn’t come out now, and I had decided to do that later, he would have still come to call me. My eyes rolled on their own as I watched him pretend to be a chef who was throwing meat all up and down in the pan. That needed to chill sometimes, but I really loved him. Even though he was a weird human and I knew that, that was where I got my weirdness from. Every single part of my face is like a replica of my mother. But attitude wise, I got in line with my fathe
“So. I don’t know if you always remember whenever I tell you that I wish to be human, I never said that all just because I was human dad. I am nosy just cool with the idea of having a mate. And then that happened, me finding out that Prince Adam was my mate, it felt like everything changed for the better. There was nothing I could do to stop him from following me. I just wanted to end everything that had to do with him at that moment. But of course, I don’t know if you have figured out but the Prince is actually a stubborn person and he was not going to stop pursuing me. So I had to do something that was going to stop him. I avoided him for a while, until he told me that that I hurt him, and right there right then, I became guilty for actually hurting someone. We got a bit close and things got a little heated with us. This is really awkward but I have not been able to speak to my best friend because of the family vacation he went on. So I’m just going to tell you this dad. We had our