Chapter 1: Losing It

-Jackson-

The rain poured down on me, but I barely felt it. I pushed my body harder than ever. I was more fueled by energy than I had ever been before. My wolf was clawing inside of me, growling and pissed off. He would not be quiet these days. He was always grumbling and demanding I did more to get our mate back, to win her over. I wanted to. I wanted nothing more, but Daphne was no ordinary wolf. She was not even a wolf. Daphne was a lycan from a high-status family. She had been engaged to the king, who was now mated to my cousin. They had had their problems, but after meeting Roman, Ana was happier than ever. She had avenged her family, taking down Roman’s distant relative, who was the one behind the attack on Ana’s family. My uncle, aunt, and second cousin had been slaughtered together with the entire pack, just because the wolves were getting a little braver, wanting more of a say since we outnumbered the lycans these days. They were more powerful, therefore it was harder for them to have kids. Wolves experienced problems too, but nothing compared to lycans. Things had changed now between us, though, thanks to Roman and Ana being together. They had made a new foundation and were taking us all into a new era, and I was more than happy to finally see a smile on my cousin’s lips. She deserved to be happy. She had experienced enough pain and anger for her entire life. Now she could spend the rest of her life with her mate, the Lycan King. I, on the other hand, was not sure I had that in my cards. Daphne, my mate, my lycan, didn’t want me. She was engaged to someone else, and it filled me with anger when I learned. She had been in the hospital when I woke up after the fight with Roman’s cousin. We had all gotten hurt, but waking up to the sight of her was… I couldn’t describe it. It filled me with happiness and belonging, but she hadn’t stayed. I believed for a little while it was a dream because I had fallen asleep fast afterwards and had not woken up to her at my side again. She was gone, and she did not come back. Ana had told me this engagement was not what Daphne wanted, but I was not sure that was true. Why stay then? Why not come to me? She had run from me, and was still running, and I didn’t know what to do.

Let me out! I will go get her!

I shook my head at my wolf. He was dangerous to let out these days. Too on edge, and I was an alpha. Alphas on edge were not a good thing.

“No.”

I stopped and looked up at the rain that came pouring down on me.

Let me OUT!

“No!” I shouted.

He growled at me so loudly my ears rung, but I would not let him out. Not when he was acting like a fucking ass.

Who are you calling an ass? Ass!

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to get into another childish discussion with him. I had had enough of those for a lifetime.

Then maybe stop acting like a child and be the alpha we are and go get her!

“Yes, because we live as cavemen again and we throw the women over our shoulders while growling "mine",” I said sarcastically.

Maybe it was time we went back to the old days. At least this once.

“She made herself clear.”

She said nothing. All she did was come to our hospital room, stay with us, saying nothing other than that we were going to be okay, and then she was gone.

“And that is not making herself clear?”

I say it’s her wanting us to chase.

“I say you lost your mind.”

You lost your mind! my wolf countered. What the fuck are you doing out here when we could go get her right now? Ana thinks we should fight for her too.

“Ana doesn’t know what she is talking about. Her mate actually wanted her.”

But she didn’t want him. She ran!

“I’m aware.”

Then how can I get it through your thick head that we should go get Daphne?

“You can’t…”

Because your head is that thick?

“Because it is complicated. Often lycans and werewolves stay away from each other.”

I’m aware, but our cousin has begun something else. Soon things will change. They have already begun changing.

“I don’t know…”

You’re scared.

“Shut up,” I snapped at him.

What the fuck is the problem?

“What if we just get our heart ripped out of our chest? What if Daphne doesn’t want us to interfere? Or what if this is her choice?” I asked.

Then we show her why it’s an awful choice.

“That’s your solution?”

Yup!

“You’re crazy.”

Stop calling me that.

“No, because you need to see it yourself. You do not kidnap a high-status lycan female. Are you insane?”

Stop calling me that!

“No, answer me.”

She is our mate. It changes things.

“Explain how!”

A mate is above law and statuses. It means everything.

“I don’t think it counts when it is between lycan and werewolf.”

It does. You need to go get here before we both lose our minds. I can’t stand being away from her. Let’s go find her!

“No.”

Why are you so stubborn?

“Why are you so annoying?” I countered only for my wolf to growl at me again.

I groaned and rolled my eyes before I ran back to the house. My dad was coming down the stairs and saw me enter. He stopped for a moment, then shook his head.

“Tell me I shouldn’t be worried.”

“Why should you?” I asked as I untied my dirty shoes.

“Because when someone is running in a storm, they have issues,” my dad said.

“Maybe someone likes the rain.”

“Maybe someone needs someone to talk to.”

“Is that you?” I asked with a little smile.

“Can’t I talk to my son?”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to talk,” I said.

“Maybe he should be less of an ass.”

“Why is everyone calling me an ass today?”

“Who is everyone?” my dad teased.

I smiled a little, shaking my head and pushing my hand through my dark hair, a color I had inherited from my dad.

“I’m fine,” I lied.

“Daphne hasn’t made any contact?”

“You think I would be running in the rain if she had?” I asked.

“Jackson…”

“I know… I know… I’m not doing that good,” I said. “But what choice do I have? She is my mate and I can’t be with her.”

It was impossible to hide what was happening between me and Daphne because I was slowly going insane. It had been months since the fight with Shane, Roman’s cousin, and when I saw her last, since then more news of her wonderful engagement had come out, driving me nuts. I didn’t know how to solve any of it. I didn’t even know how to fix myself.

Our mate is the cure…

I ignored my wolf and looked at my dad, who was looking me up and down and probably seeing how I had lost a bit of weight. My appetite was just gone.

“Jackson…”

“Can we not?” I asked. “We have already talked.”

“And you don’t seem to listen.”

“I hear you!”

“No, you don’t.”

“Dad…”

“Maybe it was time you considered a rejection,” my dad said, shocking me.