I hated it when you

[Elara's POV]

He had kicked the sturdy timber dining table, causing me to jump as it fell to the wooden floor with a loud thud, shaking the decorations in the glass case.

"What about you?" He shouted. "You simply wanted to be Luna, right? You knew Natalia and I were in a relationship, yet you shamelessly accepted the marriage and betrayed your own cousin sister by stealing her boyfriend! You lied to me. She told me everything!"

I couldn't believe my cousin-sister. I had never thought she would do this. "I'm so sorry," I cried, starting to sob as I hugged myself tightly.

"She's the love of my life. We had been dating since we were eighteen, even before that," he had yelled at me. "It had taken all my self-control not to punch you, Elara."

His voice had been filled with frustration and anger. It had been almost enough to make me break down again, but he hadn't given up yet. He had kept going. "You're such a pathetic bitch who has no sense of loyalty to your friends or family." He had walked towards me and started kicking the coffee table on the other side of the room. "Why are you like this? Is your brain completely dead?" His hands had moved towards his pockets as if preparing to pull out some objects he had prepared to use against me. As I watched him, it made me think twice before doing something.

"No, Ethan, that's not true. Let me explain—" I had tried to reason with him. But his hand had already been around my neck. My eyes had widened in fear as I had heard the sound of the bones breaking within my throat. My breathing had gotten heavier as I had felt lightheaded, and I had closed my eyes in anticipation of death. He hadn't killed me. His eyes had narrowed as he had loosened his grip on my throat, and I had gasped for air, feeling lightheaded. When I had finally opened them again, he had released me from the choking hold and had stood there with an unreadable expression on his face. I had tried to catch my breath. I had seen sweat rolling off my forehead. I had wiped the back of my head with my hair, making a few strands fall onto my lips and eyes.

"Elara, don't get in my way. You had already become my wife and Luna of this pack, but that hadn't been enough for you. So you had made Natalia stay away from this pack because you had known that when she came back, I would find out everything," he had stated with absolute conviction, and his tone had been icy cold. The look in his eyes had said it all. I had heard the rage inside his body.

"No, it's not like that, Ethan. But I had never forced Natalia to leave; I hadn't wanted her to," I had defended myself quickly, trying to keep my composure.

Yes, she had left this pack, and I hadn't known why. When she had found out that Ethan had met his mate, she had departed of her own will, but now it seemed like she had been plotting her comeback the entire time. Was she truly capable of separating us from our possessions? I had realized, looking into his sad eyes, that he had never trusted me. He had been assessing and counting now. I had handed him everything suspiciously, as though I had used him as a ruse to get the title of Luna. I had fallen in love with him before I had even realized he was an Alpha. Has his mistrust of me always been there? Could that girl ruin everything by standing in our way? Has he ever really loved me unconditionally, even for just a moment? I had thought. My eyes had burned with tears, and I had averted my gaze.

"I find it absurd. Tell me, Ethan: Why had you slept with me if you hadn't been interested in me? Why had you treated me like the only lady in your life who was important?" I had inhaled deeply and posed the essential query to him. "Ethan... Tell me if....." Before I could finish my sentence, he had interrupted me.

He had grabbed both sides of my face, forcing me to look up into his eyes. With a firm, angry stare, he answered, "Elara, listen to me carefully. You are my biggest mistake. This marriage is the biggest mistake I have made in my life because it has led the most important woman of my life away from me. For the past year, I had regretted marrying you." His lips had curled into a bitter smile. There had been no warmth in his words whatsoever.

"From the day you had walked into my office and my father had said you'd make the best Luna for my Pack, you had given me nothing but hurt. And every time you looked into my eyes, I saw disgust. Every time you touched me, I hated it. Every night when you had said 'goodnight,' I resented it. Every minute I had spent with you, I had remembered how much I hated it. I just couldn't bear to live with you, and that had hurt me more than anything," his fingers had dug into my skin slightly as he had continued to speak. He had let go and stared intensely into my eyes, which had turned darker than I had ever seen them.

My lips had trembled when I recalled how unhappy my father had been with me getting married to him. He hadn't been impressed by Ethan's family, but I had sacrificed everything for him. My family, my status, and my inheritance had all clearly been little for him. What use had I been if he could brush me off with such ease? I had realized that the man in front of me had changed. I had married a cold wolf who showed no emotions whatsoever. I had wiped my tears away and had looked up into those icy orbs that still bore an indescribable hatred. I felt my heart squeeze painfully in response.

He had exhaled as if I were an irritating fly buzzing around his eyes. He had rolled his eyes and had taken out a lighter and cigarette, lighting up the end and placing it between his lips. He had held the cigarette between his index finger and thumb while taking small puffs. The smoke had flowed through his nose until the end of the cigarette had caught fire, turning ash black.

"I can't stand your presence, Elara. So just sign the papers soon. I don't want this to drag out," he had said, taking a long drag. He had placed the burning cigarette butt on one of the plates of food, ignoring the fact that it was still smoking. A single tear had spilled over the papers as I had looked down at the file.

He had questioned, "What did you want to tell me?"

I had said, "It's not that necessary... ignore it," thinking that the documents that were now on the dining table would never be seen by him.

"Tell me if you have any questions about the compensation. You are free to stay in the pack, and your expenditures will be covered," he had said as he had crossed his legs and laid his elbow on the table, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. He looked so bored.

"You are such a coward," I snapped, looking at him and scoffing loudly. His eyebrows had furrowed in confusion before he had spoken again. "But I guess that doesn't matter either..." Even though I had acted strong in front of him, deep down I had been hurt by what I had just heard. My cheeks had reddened as I had felt tears prickling at the back of my eyes. I had spent countless nights dreaming about our future together. I had wanted him by my side, living happily and peacefully with us. Our children would play together, grow up, and grow old together. My mother, our friends, and our neighbors would visit us, bringing gifts of flowers, wine, and other stuff. But now that dream has come crashing into my face.

I had sighed heavily and had looked at him. "No... it's not required. As it is, everything is alright." I had stood up and had tried to get myself together because my whole world had fallen apart. "I will sign and return these to you right away."

He had thought for a moment, then had just gestured, showing no concern for my sorrow and grief, which I knew he could sense due to our connection. Could he truly overlook me—his own mate—in favor of someone else? The fact was that he could, and it hurt to say it, but the answer was right in front of me.

"You're welcome to stay here tonight. Anyhow, it's late. Natalia isn't going to move in until everything is finalized. I don't want her to experience any discomfort."

Gazing up into his attractive face, I had strived to figure out the man I had fallen in love with. I had wondered where he truly went. What was he hiding? Had he really loved me once? Or had it all been an act? Had the love he had for me been just a facade? I didn't understand anything anymore. It had felt like an empty void where my dreams had once lain. I had shaken my head to clear it, trying to forget the pain and sadness that had consumed me, but I had hidden it behind a mask of indifference, not giving him a chance to see my true feelings.

"Don't worry, I have a roof," I had said with a bitter smile. "Say hi to Natalia for me." He hadn't replied but had simply nodded.

I had turned on my heels without another word. I had started walking towards the door but had stopped briefly before walking out. Then I turned around to face him.

"And Ethan?"

He had immediately snapped back to reality as he had realized something serious. "Yeah...

 What?" He had responded. I hadn't dared to look into his eyes. If I had, I wouldn't have been able to control myself, but that wasn't what I needed to talk about right now.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here. I will definitely not fail to repay you for this," I had said while staring straight into his honey-brown eyes. He had simply nodded, his mouth closed tightly in a thin line, but not before a brief flash of emotion had crossed his face.

I had felt my lips twitch upwards at the sight of him. My wolf had nudged me, excited about the change in atmosphere. I had let her guide me outside. The fresh air had invigorated me, making me feel better. I had walked silently until I had reached the main entrance. I had suddenly felt compelled to say something, "I'll never forget this night, Ethan." I had continued to walk as I had seen the moonlight cast a silvery light on the road. The Moon Goddess had watched over me with kind and tender loving eyes as I had stepped out of the building. A faint, refreshing wind had blown against my body. I had taken several slow steps forward. My mind had wandered and imagined that I was a tiny child running down the white marble steps to catch up with the rest of my siblings. I had walked towards the parking lot.