Do you still love her?

[Elara's POV]

[A year ago]

My mind drifted back to our past memories, which still haunted me like a pack of hungry wolves, following me around like shadows that could not be shaken off. My body still felt the remnants of last night’s rejection as it buzzed on every inch of my flesh. "If we become parents one day, I wish they’ll look just like you."

As he took me onto his lap and brushed his fingers through my hair, I asked, startled, "Me?"

"Yes, my gorgeous princess," he kissed my neck in response. "And I hope they have curls just like yours too." I closed my eyes to savor the sensation. He continued with a tender tone, "You’re like the most delicate flower in the world to me."

He held me close as if trying to absorb all the beauty I possessed. The feeling of security in his embrace was unlike anyone else’s. I imagined myself in that moment as a child again.

His hands caressed my back slowly, sending shivers down my spine. "I love you so much," he said as he stroked my cheek. "And now I’m going to take care of you forever."

I smiled and leaned forward to peck his lips. "I love you too." He chuckled softly and pulled me closer for another kiss before pulling away. His hands stayed tangled in my hair, stroking my head lightly. He leaned in to whisper sweet nothings while planting small kisses across my forehead and cheeks. I melted against him while basking in the warmth of his affection. I thought he was the sun to me, his light guiding me wherever I wanted to go. And even when dark clouds appeared over his face, he never looked away from me. Even though I had been alone all my life, he still found a way to lighten my gloom.

His arms held me tighter. He whispered, "Princess~"

I giggled and asked, "What would you do without me?"

"I'd probably kill everyone in sight," he responded with a wink. He laughed at my shocked expression as his face crinkled. My heart fluttered at how cute he could be when I teased him. He leaned down and put his face into the crook of my neck to nuzzle and breathe in my scent of honey and vanilla.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to keep his warm body near mine. I tilted my head, my heart skipping a beat. We were so close that my nose felt him breathing against my skin. It tickled slightly. I didn’t think it bothered him, though. Maybe he didn’t know what ticklish spots he had. Or maybe it just tickled because of our physical similarity? I had always thought I looked different, but now I realized we shared the same soul. That meant I was definitely a twin.

He rubbed my face and said, "Damein," but it was what he said next that made my eyes spring out of their sockets. "I want it to be my son’s name." His voice was soft and calm as I sat there stunned. I tried to gather my thoughts and find words to respond, but nothing came out. What should I say??? He chuckled at my stupefied expression and kissed my forehead gently. He ran his hand up the length of my arm and then rested his palm on my wrist.

"I love this name," I said after regaining my composure. He sighs and cupped my face in his large hands and kissed me hungrily. I responded immediately to his heated kiss  and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt his tongue dart inside my mouth for dominance. I didn't even try to resist. I opened my mouth willingly and let him plunder my taste buds. When he pulled away for air, I looked at him eagerly and I realized he wasn't satisfied yet. I licked his lips playfully to get him to continue.

He chuckled breathlessly and did so. I hummed contently as his fingers trailed down my jawline and trailed across my lips and pulled me again into another heated kiss. His thumb rubbed across my bottom lip as it brushed the top one sensually. I couldn't help but moan at the contact. I could feel myself blushing as his touch became less innocent and more passionate. He pushed my shirt up, exposing my pale chest. I shivered with anticipation as he ran his hand up under my bra straps. I felt like I was getting burned by his hot touch and I couldn't control my own excitement. He quickly picked me up and made our way to our bedroom.

[Present]

When he was so excited about our child, why did he do this? Why did he say he didn’t like my touch? Why did he say he felt disgusted being with me? Why did he reject me? It hurts my heart to know I ruined everything. He was my first lover, the very first to love me unconditionally. How could he throw away his feelings for me so easily? How long will I feel this pain? How long before I become numb and no longer care about anything?

I walked into the park and sat on a bench, watching the passersby. The cold wind blew on my bare legs, making them shake with each breath I took. Tears pricked my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. I took a deep breath before looking up at the sky. The blue sky reflected the sunlight, its brightness piercing my eyes. I covered them instinctively and closed them tightly, trying to block out the light.

"What if I get pregnant earlier? Would he still reject me?" I ask my wolf. Her reply is a silent laugh. "Who knows? Perhaps he never liked you. Maybe he played an evil game from day one." I snort and open my eyes again to look at the sky. There is so much I don’t understand about my ex-mate. I wipe my tears and stand up, determined. "It’s okay, Elara, at least try to talk to him," I say to myself. "Maybe he'll reconsider this divorce for our children." I take deep breaths to calm down. After another deep inhale of fresh air, I step out of the park.

I feel a flicker of hope and make my way over to the Pack Hall. This is when Ethan would be in his office working. The Pack Hall is located next to our mansion, separated by a bronze fence. It is the only place where our pack members, who live across town, can come together for meetings and significant occasions. I enter through the fingerprint scanner, input the code for the third floor, and climb the carpeted stairs. No one without a pin is permitted on this floor, as it is reserved for the ranked members of the pack.

I gather all my courage and straighten my posture before entering his office. The smell of leather fills my senses, mingled with the subtle scents of coffee and minty toothpaste. I take a deep breath and am about to knock on the door when I hear someone's laugh. It’s none other than Natalia. My eyes narrow slightly. If they were discussing something important, it wouldn’t sound this loud. I slowly creak open the door to see her sitting on Ethan's desk while he sits behind it, facing her.

Natalia is wearing an extremely short dress that barely covers her thighs. She has her leg crossed and is staring intensely at Ethan. I can’t see what she’s doing, only her back. But I can clearly see Ethan’s face, the corner of his lips curving upwards in amusement as he slowly touches her thighs. She leans back toward him, his arms wrapped around her waist, while his hand slides up her thigh slowly. Her head tilts, and her eyes meet mine for a moment. Then she giggles evilly before composing her posture again.

"Ethan, I’m still confused about one thing," Natalia's voice echoes through my ears, and I look up at them. "By any chance, do you still love my cousin?"

Ethan chuckles softly and replies, “Of course, I never loved her.” Natalia smiles mischievously and licks her lips seductively as she leans forward toward him again. This time, her hands slide along his arms and stop just below his chin. She leans in closer and whispers in a sultry tone, “So you mean you never developed any feelings for her over the past year?”

A chill ran down my spine as I waited for his answer. I was scared, nervous, and anxious. I didn’t understand why, but I still held onto hope for our relationship. I still believed in the Moon Goddess’s decision. I held my breath, waiting for his response. His cold reply pierced through me: “Probably not at all. It was just a rejection a year too late. It’s something I should have done a long time ago.”

My breath hitched upon hearing his words. A tear escaped from my eye, and I quickly wiped it away. It seemed Natalia took pleasure in teasing him, as she continued to grin devilishly and replied, “I see... Well, I guess your denial must be your charm, right?” He smirked in response.

I clenched my chest, trying to hold my heart together despite the immense hurt and frustration. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself.

“Yeah, it makes me feel so good, mainly because we can go back to how things were before she came between us,” he said.

Ethan sat there silently, staring out the window with a distracted expression on his face. I could see him through the gap in the door.

“Are you listening to me, Ethan?”

“I apologize; I was just... What did you say?”

“I said things will be just the way they were before she took everything from me,” he said as Natalia touched his shoulders.

My fists clenched tightly as I watched him lean in to touch her face again, trying to reassure her. Natalia continued to talk, and I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to push the pain away.

“You have nothing to be concerned about. She couldn’t even bear you a child in a year, really. For us, I’ll have a baby. You’re worthy of an heir,” she replies sultrily.

I wish I understood what I had done to deserve this kind of treatment. I shook my head, memories of our time together flooding my mind. Yes, it’s true that we got married quickly after realizing we were meant to be. Yes, Ethan’s father had been emphatic, but I never got the impression that he wasn’t content. He showed me affection, gave me compliments, and I’m sure he thought I was cute.

Then what happened? What caused him to change like this? I think bitterly and angrily. I feel so stupid and pathetic. I should have known better.

She purrs coquettishly, “Ethan, I was thinking perhaps we could go on one of our old spa holidays?”

My stomach churns as my husband leans forward and touches her bare thigh once more. “I think that’s an excellent idea,” he says.

I take a step back, my heart aching in a way that no one else can hear. I can’t take it any longer as I watch them make a mockery of me. I’m not capable of this. I can’t share my children with him. What if he tries to take them away from me? I turn and sprint back down the stairs, trying to contain the tears that feel like they are about to spill. But I fail, and the dam breaks, much like my life is crumbling around me. I collapse to the ground and sob into the grass. My chest heaves as I try to breathe slowly, in and out, trying to stay calm.

But how could it end like this? Why does he have to act like this? I cry until there are no more tears left. Then I walk back home alone, lost in my thoughts. I can’t sleep, as all the memories of my first relationship flood back into my mind, filling me with anger.